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(EWC) / ENG 299 ExamiNatioN of WritiNG CompEtENCy

For more information about the EWC, please contact the Writing Competency Coordinator, Remica L. Bingham

at 757-823-2930 or [email protected]

Norfolk State University 700 Park Avenue | Norfolk, Virginia 23504

Phone: 757-823-8600 www.nsu.edu

ExamiNatioN of WritiNG CompEtENCy (EWC) / ENG 299

prEp paCKEt

taBLE of CoNtENtS

INFORMATION SHEET - - - - 1

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs) - - - - 2 SCORING RUBRIC - - - - 5

ESSAY GUIDELINES - - - - 6

SAMPLE OUTLINES AND ESSAYS - - - - 9

WRITING TIPS - - - - 24

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES - - - - 29

WHat The Examination of Writing Competency (EWC) is a graduation requirement for all undergraduate students. It is a 3-hour proctored Exam in which students write an essay that responds to a question from a general category.

WHo All undergraduate students (Baccalaureate and Associate degrees), including transfer and readmitted students, must take and pass the EWC. Students seeking a second under- graduate degree must take and pass the EWC unless the first degree came from NSU and the student has already taken and passed the EWC required at NSU. The EWC requirement for graduation is in effect for all first-time freshmen who began taking classes in Fall Semester 2001 and thereafter and for transfer and readmitted students who began taking classes in Fall 2002 and thereafter. Students who do not pass the exam will be offered help with their writ- ing, but they must retake and pass the exam in order to graduate.

WHEN Students should take the EWC as soon as they have completed their Freshman Com- position courses (ENG101 and ENG102); for most students, this will be their sophomore year. Students must take the EWC before they complete 90 credit hours.

SUpportiNG StUDENtS tHroUGH DiSaBiLity SErViCES In accordance with Section 504 of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, if a student has a disability or thinks they may have a disability, we ask that they please contact the Supporting Students through Disability Services (SSDS) office which is located on the 2nd Floor of the Lyman B. Brooks Library, Room 240. The contact person is Marian E. Shepherd,

the Disability Services Coordinator. She can be reached at (757) 823- 2014.

QUEStioNS If you have questions about the EWC, please call Remica L. Bingham, the Writing Competency Coordinator, in Institutional Effectiveness and Assessment at (757) 823-2930 or e-mail her at [email protected]

ExamiNatioN of WritiNG CompEtENCy (EWC) / ENG299

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frEQUENtLy aSKED QUEStioNS (faQs)

WHat iS tHE pUrpoSE of tHE EWC? /WHy Do i HaVE to taKE tHE Exam? The Examination of Writing Competency meets the State Council of Higher Education’s requirement for Virginia public colleges and universities to demonstrate student competen- cies in specific subject categories. The exam is designed to ensure that students can write competently when they enter their upper-level major courses. The benefits of an Exam of this sort are as follows: it protects the reputation of the University for producing graduates who can write competently in their professions and who will succeed as responsible employees, citizens, and alumni, it benefits the University faculty by providing data/information for curriculum improvement and faculty/professional development, and it benefits the University students by providing continued opportunities for them to improve their writing and critical thinking skills.

WHEN SHoULD i taKE tHE EWC? Students should take the EWC as soon as they have completed their Freshman Composi- tion courses (ENG101 and ENG102); for most students, this will be their sophomore year. Students must take the EWC before they complete 90 hours.

iS tHErE a fEE for tHE EWC? Currently, there is no fee for the exam.

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HoW oftEN iS tHE Exam offErED? The EWC is offered on scheduled dates and at scheduled times each semester. The exam is offered at least once each term. Students must take the Exam when it is scheduled to be given. Work, family, school or athletic conflicts must be settled by the student so that he or she is free to take the Exit Exam at its scheduled time. Religious practices, which prohibit activity at the time of the scheduled Exam and obligations to the U. S. military at the time of the scheduled Exam are the only exceptions to the above policy.

WHo aDmiNiStErS tHE EWC? The EWC is administered by the office of Institutional Effectiveness and Assessment and is listed in the school catalog as ENG 299.

WHo GraDES tHE EWC aND HoW iS it SCorED? Graders are recruited from NSU faculty and staff members representing all of the programs of study and offices. The EWC graders are trained by the Writing Competency Coordinator and/or IEA staff member on an on-going basis.

Each essay is evaluated by two graders. If the two graders disagree about the Pass/Not Pass evaluation, a third grader evaluates the essay. This means that at least two graders agree on the final assignment of Pass/Not Pass. As of Fall 2006, a newly-designed 5-point rubric will be used to evaluate student exams. Students must earn at least a score of (3) on all criterion to pass the Exam. Students must pass in all areas of evaluation to earn a final mark of Pass.

HoW iS tHE EWC aDVErtiSED? The dates and times of the EWC are well publicized at the beginning of each semester; they are published in the NSU Catalog and the Schedule of Classes booklet for each se- mester and posted all over campus at the beginning of each semester. The exam dates and other exam information will also listed in the Spartan E-Daily announcements.

In addition, advisors, faculty members, the registrar’s office, and other administrative offices are supplied with the dates and times of the Exams. Information is always available from the office of Institutional Effectiveness and Assessment and the Writing Competency Coordina- tor’s office.

WHat SHoULD i BriNG to tHE Exam? Students should bring their NSU ID card, pens, pencils, and a dictionary to the exam. No electronic dictionaries/grammar devices are allowed at the exam.

HoW SooN WiLL i GEt my rESULtS? At a minimum, Pass/Not Pass results go to individual students through their NSU e-mail or by posting, and a list of names, student numbers and results goes to the Registrar’s Office about four weeks after the date of the Exam.

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WHat HappENS if i paSS? The grade is forwarded to the Registrar’s Office and will be listed on the student’s transcript.

WHat HappENS if i Do Not paSS? Students are advised to contact the Writing Competency Coordinator if they do not pass the Exam. Those students who do contact the Coordinator are given an appointment time and come in to review their exams. If the student needs additional work, they are referred to the ACCESS program or other effective resources, such as the writing workshops offered by the English Department or ACCESS.

In addition, the University has an on-line writing tutorial program, Criterion, which has been designed to help students with all aspects of their writing but especially with writing prob- lems relating to the Exam; students are strongly encouraged to use this resource as well.

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EWC Scoring rubric

o rG

a N

iz a

tio N

a

ppropriate use of essay structure (introduction, thesis statem

ent, Body paragraphs, C

onclusion, transitional devices, etc.)

D EV

ELo pm

EN t &

a N

a Ly

SiS a

ppropriate use of central ideas and concrete details that support the thesis and prom

pt

SEN tEN

C E StrU

C tU

rE a

ppropriate use of the construction of com plete,

com plex sentences

G ra

m m

a r, D

iC tio

N &

m EC

H a

N iC

S a

ppropriate use of the conventions of gram m

ar such as tense, po

V, etc. as w ell as language

usage, punctuation (internal and external), spell- ing, capitalization, etc.

5 (Superior

Competency)

C learly-stated, sophisticated thesis directly

addresses the prom pt; Introduction establishes

the content and purpose; C onclusion effectively

recounts and sum m

arizes argum ents; Body para-

graphs include m ain points discussed separately

and in detail; Effective use of thoughtful transitions that connect ideas.

A rgum

ents effectively address all aspects of the prom

pt; Relevant, quality details enrich the central them

e; Show s clear insight on the part of the w

riter.

C om

plete sentences are w ell-built w

ith com plex

and varied structure; Little to no sentence structure errors such as fragm

ents, run-ons etc.

Little to no gram m

atical errors (i.e. subject/ verb

agreem ent, tense, PO

V) used effectively and coherently throughout the essay; Language choices enhance m

eaning and clarify understanding in a precise, interesting w

ay; N

ear perfect execution of internal and external punctuation, spelling and capitalization (1

-3 errors).

4 (above average

Competency)

C learly-stated, thesis addresses the prom

pt; Introduction begins to establish a foundation for the content and purpose; C

onclusion sum m

arizes argu- m

ents; Body paragraphs are sound and reinforce structure; Transitions connect ideas.

D etails are present and support argum

ents; A rgu-

m ents are clear and illustrate som

e aw areness of

the com plexities of the issue being discussed

Sequencing is logical and effective, som e sentence

variety and use of com plex sentence form

s; Very few

fragm ents, run-ons etc.

A few

gram m

atical errors, but gram m

ar is correctly applied; A

ttem pt at use of varied and advanced

language that enhances argum ents; Very few

external punctuation and a few

internal (i.e. com

m a, sem

i-colon, etc.) errors; Very few spelling

and capitalization errors (3

-5 errors).

3 (Competency)

G eneralized thesis addresses the prom

pt; Sim ple,

but recognizable introduction and conclusion; A

dequate incorporation of support for thesis in body paragraphs, though they m

ay obtain som e

extraneous inform ation;

Transitions m ay be m

echanical, but foster coher- ence.

D evelopm

ent is basic, ideas are reasonably clear, though they do not help flesh out som

e of the m ain

argum ents presented; A

rgum ents on topic, but m

ay not dem

onstrate in-depth understanding.

Sequencing show s logic, som

e sentence vari- ety; Sentences are routine, but effective; A

few

fragm ents, run-ons, etc., but not to the point of

distraction.

Problem s w

ith gram m

ar are not serious enough to distort m

eaning, but m ay not be correctly applied

in each instance; A ttem

pts at colorful language apparent, but diction som

etim es reaches beyond

the scope of the argum ent; Punctuation som

etim es

m issing or w

rong; Som e spelling and capitalization

errors (5 -1

0 errors).

2 (Developing Competency)

Thesis is vague or im plied, not clear or specific,

m ay sim

ply breach prom pt; Introduction and con-

clusion do not establish purpose or sum m

arize argu- m

ents; Body paragraphs are poorly organized, ideas are strung together haphazardly; Ineffective transitions.

D etails m

ay be too broad, narrow or inappropri-

ate; A rgum

ents are unclear or supporting evidence is insufficient, often unnecessarily repetitious.

Very little sentence variety, m ost are structured the

sam e w

ay; Som e are aw

kw ard, others are frag-

m ents, run-ons, etc.

N um

erous gram m

atical errors that distort m eaning

in som e instances; Language often used in odd

w ays; Jargon or clichés distract or m

islead, redun- dancy is distracting; M

any external and internal punctuation errors as w

ell as num erous errors in

spelling and capitalization (1 0

-1 5

errors).

1 (incompetence)

N o clear or im

plied thesis statem ent; N

o clear introduction or conclusion; Paragraphing is m

issing, irregular or so frequent that it has no relationship to the essay; transitions are confusing or absent; O

rganizational problem s m

ake the essay near im

possible to understand.

Supporting inform ation is lim

ited, unclear or not present at all; Thoughts are disconnected and have no discernable point; Essay length is not adequate for developm

ent.

Sequencing is random , m

ost phrases are not sentences at all; Endless conjunctions or a com

plete lack thereof, w

hich causes m ass confusion.

Frequent gram m

atical errors distort m eaning and

hinder com m

unication; Little to no variation in w ord

choice, language is used incorrectly and seriously im

pairs understanding; G ross errors in punctuation,

spelling and capitalization that hinder m eaning as

w ell as understanding. (1

5 +

errors).

EWC SCoriNG rUBriC 5

ESSay GUiDELiNES

a paSSiNG ESSay mUSt SHoW CompEtENCE iN EaCH of tHE foLLoWiNG CritEria:

1. ORGANIZATION - To what extent does the response exhibit the traditional three-part structure of beginning, middle, and end? To what extent is the response controlled by a single dominant idea, most often the answer to the question? To what extent are the para- graphs or subsections controlled by their central ideas?

2. DEVELOPMENT & ANALYSIS - To what extent do the central ideas and concrete details support the thesis and the writing prompt? To what extent does the response make use of appropriate information and details to support its generalizations? To what extent are the information and details logically linked to the central ideas of the response and the para- graphs or subsections?

3. SENTENCE STRUCTURE - To what extent are sentences complete and well-built? To what extent are sentences varied in structure?

4. GRAMMAR, DICTION & MECHANICS - To what extent does the response display a command of the conventions of usage? To what extent does the response exhibit appropri- ate vocabulary and sentence variety?

The descriptions above are the products of an effective writing process. Here is some advice about us- ing your writing process to make sure that the essay you write will meet the above criteria.

Remember that an essay has three basic parts--a beginning, middle, and end; in other words, an academic essay has an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph. Don’t let trouble with writing the introductory paragraph bottleneck the rest of your essay. You can always come back and write the introduction after you’ve finished with the body of the essay; just leave about half the first page lines blank. Fill them in when you are ready to write the introduction. Be sure to revise and edit the paragraph.

Budget your time: Set aside time for reading the question carefully. Read it at least twice, making sure that you understand what your essay needs to be about in order to answer it. If an excerpt of an article, a quotation or chart or graph is included with your question, use those to help get started on your answer, but remember that you’re not writing an essay about that excerpt or quotation. Set aside time for generating ideas by thinking and then free writing, clustering, asking questions, or brainstorming on paper. Use these ideas to put together a working outline, and write your essay from this prewriting effort. Don’t plan on copying over from a rough draft; in general, 3 hours isn’t enough time to use the writing process in the way you would if you had a few days to write an essay. Finally, set aside enough time to revise and edit your essay; most students need to budget at least 30 minutes for this step.

Revise according to criteria 1, 2, and 3 (listed above) and your own writing weaknesses:

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You won’t have a copy of these criteria when you take the exam, so you should have a thorough understandingof what each criterion means in terms of your writing in general and, specifically, your writing for the Examination of Writing Competency (EWC). Read through this packet again before you go to take the exam.

Criterion 1 requires that your essay be organized. An effective organization requires a strong thesis statement (the answer to the question in the EWC), body paragraphs which support that thesis statement and which have their own central ideas, and transitional devices wherever needed.

Criterion 2 requires that an essay be thoroughly developed using specific details and ex- amples. Use concrete, specific language wherever possible, and be sure that every general- ization in the essay is thoroughlydeveloped. For example, it’s not sufficient to write that you think tuition raises should be frozen by the state government. Your reader needs to know why you think that. If one of your reasons is that you think tuition is too high already, you need to be specific: how much, in dollars, you pay right now, what you get for it, what you think you should get for that much money, why you can’t afford to pay anymore than you already do (maybe you support a family and a car already?), what your friend John pays for tuition at a college in North Carolina. There are many specific details that support your opinion and make your point so much stronger than it might be without the details.

Criterion 3 requires that your essay is made up of complete, complex sentences. Good sentence structure means that your essay is free of run-ons or fragments, as these may impair understanding. If you have to read your sentences twice to make sense of them, rewrite them. Use varied sentence structure and sentence length in the body of the essay.

Edit according to Criterion 4 and your own writing weaknesses:

There are specific errors that competent college writers don’t make. Below you will find a list of most of those errors; take particular note if any of these are errors you know you tend to make when you write. Most of these errors can be edited and corrected if you budget your time so that you have enough time after you’ve written your essay to do this: In fact, your writ- ing may well improve if you can learn to write your drafts without worrying about grammar, mechanics, and spelling. To worry about such matters while you write can often distract you from excellent development, sentence structure, and “flow.” Whenever possible, write, revise, and edit in that order.

1. punctuation errors - Know the comma rules and use commas only when and where they are needed. Understand the difference between simple plural noun forms with “s” endings and possessive noun forms with “’s” endings. Understand the colon and the semi-colon and how you should use them.

7 2. pronoun errors - Understand the importance of being consistently correct in case and agree- ment as you use pronouns.

3. point of view - Be consistent. Use “I” if necessary. Avoid “you”; you won’t need to address your audience directly unless the question requires you to do so.

4. Verb errors - Understand the necessity of using verbs correctly so that they agree with their subjects and have the appropriate endings.

5. Vocabulary - Understand that the college writer has a wide and varied vocabulary but that you shouldn’t use words you don’t understand in test situations. Build your vocabulary constant- ly, all day every day. Know how to use the vocabulary of your major.

6. Spelling, including homonym errors - Look up any words which you don’t know how to spell. Don’t use a word if you can’t find out how to spell it. Spell correctly those words which appear in the question and any words you must use throughout your essay. Know the rules for homonym use: there/their/they’re, where/were, too/to/two. These are easy errors to make but easy errors to edit for and correct.

7. miscellaneous Errors - “A lot” is two words. “Cannot” is one word. “Affect” is a verb and “effect” is a noun. “Myself” should usually be avoided; replace it with “I” or “me.” Don’t use an exclamation point for emphasis in academic writing; let your words supply the excitement.

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SampLE oUtLiNES aND ESSayS

SAMPLE OUTLINE FOR A FIVE-PARAGRAPH ESSAY

This is in relation to “The Hazards of Moviegoing”

title: the Hazards of moviegoing

i. introduction A. Introductory statement B. Thesis statement: i like watching movies but i prefer watching them at home. ii. Body A. First Supporting Idea (Topic Sentence): just getting to the theater presents difficulties 1. bad weather 2. long drive and limited parking space 3. long waiting to buy ticket B. Second Supporting Idea (Topic Sentence): facing the problems of the theater itself 1. old theater’s problems such as smelly carpet, worn-out seat, etc 2. new theater’s problems such as smaller size, noise from next movie theater, etc 3. both floors will be rubber-like dirty at the end of the movie C. Third Supporting Idea (Topic Sentence): Some of the patrons are annoying 1. bad behavior such as running, talking loud, etc 2. human noise and disturbance

iii. Conclusion A. Closing statement B. Restate thesis: i prefer to watch movies at home where it is comfortable, clean and safe.

fiVE paraGrapH ESSay SampLE BaSED oN tHE oUtLiNE aBoVE

The Hazards of Moviegoing by John Langan from College Writing Skills with Readings

introductory paragraph (Thesis) I am a movie fanatic. When friends want to know what picture won the Oscar in 1980 or who played the police chief in Jaws, they ask me. My friends, though, have stopped asking me if I want to go out to the movies. The problems in getting to the theater, the theater itself, and the behavior of some patrons are all reasons why I often wait for a movie to show up on TV.

first supporting paragraph First of all, just getting to the theater presents difficulties. Leaving a home equipped with a TV and a video recorder isn’t an attractive idea on a humid, cold, or rainy night. Even if the weather cooperates, there is still a thirty-minute drive to the theater down a congested highway,

9 followed by the hassle of looking for a parking space. And then there are the lines. After hook- ing yourself to the end of a human chain, you worry about whether there will be enough tickets, whether you will get seats together, and whether many people will sneak into the line ahead of you.

Second supporting paragraph Once you have made it to the box office and gotten your tickets, you are confronted with the problems of the theater itself. If you are in one of the run-down older theaters, you must adjust to the musty smell of seldom-cleaned carpets. Escaped springs lurk in the faded plush or cracked leather seats, and half the seats you sit in seem loose or tilted so that you sit at a strange angle. The newer twin and quad theaters offer their own problems. Sitting in an area only one-quarter the size of a regular theater, moviegoers often have to put up with the sound of the movie next door. This is especially jarring when the other movie involves racing cars or a karate war and you are trying to enjoy a quiet love story. And whether the theater is old or new, it will have floors that seem to be coated with rubber cement. By the end of a movie, shoes almost have to be pried off the floor because they have become sealed to a deadly compound of spilled soda, hardening bubble gum, and crushed Ju-Jubes.

third supporting paragraph Some of the patrons are even more of a problem than the theater itself. Little kids race up and down the aisles, usually in giggling packs. Teenagers try to impress their friends by talking back to the screen, whistling, and making what they consider to be hilarious noises. Adults act as if they were at home in their own living rooms and comment loudly on the ages of the stars or why movies aren’t as good anymore. And people of all ages crinkle candy wrappers, stick gum on their seats, and drop popcorn tubs or cups of crushed ice and soda on the floor. They also cough and burp, squirm endlessly in their seats, file out for repeated trips to the rest rooms or concession stand, and elbow you out of the armrest on either side of your seat.

Concluding paragraph After arriving home from the movies one night, I decided that I was not going to be a moviegoer anymore. I was tired of the problems involved in getting to the movies and dealing with the the- ater itself and some of the patrons. The next day I arranged to have cable TV service installed in my home. I may now see movies a bit later than other people, but I’ll be more relaxed watching box office hits in the comfort of my own living room.

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SampLE EWC ESSayS aND ESSay BrEaKDoWNS

The following are several examples of successful and unsuccessful EWC essays. The pass- ing essays are by no means perfect and small modifications may have been made to clarify meaning in the essays. However, for the most part, each essay was typed exactly as it was written. One of the essays, ESSAY 2, has a detailed breakdown as well as standard com- ments.

EWC DirECtioNS When students take the EWC, they are given a choice of three exam questions as well as a set of directions for writing their essay. These directions are meant to serve as a writing guide and checklist for each student. Each student should remember to follow the EWC directions carefully when writing your essay. They are as follows:

DirECtioNS:

Write a well-developed academic essay that responds to ONE (1) of the three questions below. You are to write ONE essay that answers ONE of the questions.

A competent academic essay will include: an introduction, thesis statement, body para- graphs, a conclusion, and transitional devices.

Be sure to directly address the prompt/question throughout your essay and use details to support each of your arguments.

A quote may be provided to help guide you as you think about how to answer the ques- tions; it isn’t necessary to include anything from the quote in your essay although you can use the quote if you wish.

Develop your essay with specific details and examples drawn from history, literature, cur- rent events or personal experience. Your essay should be about 500-600 words long.

ESSay 1

Question Code 01 “I read in the newspaper recently about a government study undertaken to determine what makes children learn. What was found--after twenty-five million dollars of research--was that the single largest determinant in making children learn is the presence of at least one adult-- and this does not have to be a biological relative--who cares whether they [learn].” from The Gift of Change, Marianne Williamson, 2004

Question: Would you agree that one caring adult can make the difference between whether a child learns or doesn’t learn?

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•

•

•

•

•

During the course of my education, I have been surrounded by students who have the desire to learn and those who do not. More often than not, I have discovered that the student who desires to learn oftentimes has an adult who is actively involved in their education. Therefore, drawing, from my own personal experiences, I can agree with the statement that one caring adult can make the difference between whether a child learns or does not learn. For as far back as I can remember, my mother has actively participated in my education. My mother was always the one adult in my life who assisted me with various school projects or attended parent-teacher conferences to track the progress of my edu- cation. The involvement of my mother in my education affooted me in a profound way. Through my mother’s actions, I could see the deep respect she had for learning. As a result, I began to share my mother’s respect for learning. This newfound respect I had acquired was seen inside and outside of the classroom. I began to read any book I could find, visit museums, and do just about anything I could think of to increase my learning. Therefore, my mother’s actions-not her words-served to be the impetus for my love of learning. In fact, my mother’s involvement in my education continues to this day. She is always encouraging me to learn new things or take some class she has heard about. At this point in my life, my mother is not only demonstrating her respect for learning, she is teaching me that it is something that never ends. However, the same person who instilled the love of learning in me did not initially have it instilled in her. When my mother was growing up, her parents demonstrated a lack of interest in her education. My mother’s parents rarely attended parent-teacher conferences ad adopted a “hands-off” approach when it came to my mother’s learning. As a result, my mother adopted the same attitude. Though she did what she had to do to pass her classes, school (and learning) was a secondary concern to my mother. As a result, pursuing a higher education did not interest my mother because she had no desire to learn. It was not until many years later (when I began to attend school) that she began to realize the importance of learning. From that point on, my mother sought to install the love of learning in me – the same love her parents had failed to instill in her. Through the analysis of my own personal experiences as well as the experiences of those around me, I can agree with the fact that at least one caring adult makes the dif- ference between whether a child learns or does not learn. My mother was the only parent actively involved in my education and I grew to love learning. On the other hand, my mother had neither parent involved in her learning and she grew to disregard it. Once par- ents realize that their attitude toward learning directly affects their children, the more children will desire to learn. This desire does not come from words. Instead it is something that is unspoken, something that inherently exists from the time the child begins to learn. Once this aspect is realized, the better off the next generation will be.

WORD COUNT: 559

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Comments on ESSay 1

This is a PASSING essay and most frequently falls into the “Superior Competency” category:

organization Clearly-stated, sophisticated thesis directly addresses the prompt; Introduction establishes the content and purpose; Conclusion effectively recounts and summarizes arguments; Body paragraphs include main points discussed separately and in detail; Effective use of thought- ful transitions that connect ideas.

Development & analysis Arguments effectively address all aspects of the prompt; Relevant, quality details enrich the central theme; Shows clear insight on the part of the writer.

Sentence Structure Complete sentences are well-built with complex and varied structure; Little to no sentence structure errors such as fragments, run-ons etc.

Grammar, Diction & mechanics Little to no grammatical errors (i.e. subject/verb agreement, tense, POV) used effectively and coherently throughout the essay; Language choices enhance meaning and clarify understanding in a precise, interesting way; Near perfect execution of internal and external punctuation, spelling and capitalization (1-3 errors).

ESSay 1 pros: • Clearly-stated thesis • Well-developed body paragraphs • Good use of commas/punctuation/tense • Transitional statements used throughout • Conclusion has summarized arguments and re-stated thesis

ESSay 1 Cons: • One sentence structure error • Only two (2) body paragraphs

ESSay 2

Question Code 01 “The National Museum of African American History and Culture should be built on the Mall near the Washington Monument, the Smithsonian’s Board of Regents decided yesterday… Backers of the museum hope it will open by 2016.” from Mall Site Is Chosen for Black History Museum, The Washington Post, January 2006

13 Question: Discuss at least three (3) major events/people that should be included in the National museum of african american History and Culture that will eventually be added to the Smithsonian and explain why they should be included.

The three people who should be included in the National Museum of African American History and Culture are Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey. These three African Americans are some of the most recognizable and influential people of the twenty-first century. I believe they are owed recognition in the National Museum for their contributions to African Americans and to humanity for the following reasons.

First, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spearheaded the Civil Rights era with an ideology and approach that seemed to mirror Mahatma Gandhi’s view. The idea was nonviolent resistance to the laws and hardships that plagued African Americans in the nineteen- sixties. Dr. King’s approach was more successful than his contemporaries, because his message was not rooted in hate or retribution. Instead, his message preached forgiveness and understanding. Dr. King’s courage led the people of the Civil Rights era to inevitable victory, but at the cost of his own life. Dr. Martin Luther King was murdered before his dream was realized and, for this reason above all, he should be given a place of honor at the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

In addition to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby is a person who has contrib- uted a great deal to the recognition of African American culture and to the enrichment of all mankind. Bill Cosby began his career in the nineteen-sixties as a comedian and later worked as a television celebrity. However, Bill Cosby would later become a philanthropist whose mission was to help all of mankind. In the nineteen-eighties, Bill Cosby wrote a series of books on parenting that revolutionized the way parents treat their children. Mr. Cosby has also championed various issues from Civil Rights to education. Recently, Bill Cosby went to New Orleans to battle the scandal surrounding the elections in that city. After all the philanthropic efforts Mr. Cosby has made, he definitely belongs in the National Museum of African American Culture.

Furthermore, another candidate that deserves recognition is in the National Museum for African American History and Culture Oprah Winfrey. Mrs. Winfrey began as a television personality at a small news station in New York. She would later become one of the most recognizable African American females in the world. Oprah Winfrey accom- plished this by using her television show to promote the discussion of sensitive and contro- versial issues such as sexual harassment, politics, affirmative action and healthcare. Oprah Winfrey gained the respect of the whole nation when she talked about her own sexual assault as a child. As a result of Oprah’s own courage, many other people can talk about their problems. Oprah has also championed various causes to serve humanity. She recently did a television show on childhood obesity and its impact on adulthood diseases. Clearly for these reasons, Oprah Winfrey should be inducted into the National Museum for African American History and Culture. In conclusion, these three icons should be rewarded for their contributions to African American culture and humanity. Very few people influence the world about African Americans like these three people. The courage these people, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey, showed and the hardships they faced should guarantee them a place of honor in the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

WORD COUNT: 523

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Comments on ESSay 2

This is a PASSING essay and most frequently falls into the “Above Average Competency” category:

organization Clearly-stated, thesis addresses the prompt; Introduction begins to establish a foundation for the content and purpose; Conclusion summarizes arguments; Body paragraphs are sound and reinforce structure; Transitions connect ideas.

Development & analysis Details are present and support arguments; Arguments are clear and illustrate some aware- ness of the complexities of the issue being discussed.

Sentence Structure Sequencing is logical and effective, some sentence variety and use of complex sentence forms; Very few fragments, run-ons etc.

Grammar, Diction & mechanics A few grammatical errors, but grammar is correctly applied; Attempt at use of varied and advanced language that enhances arguments; Very few external punctuation and a few internal (i.e. comma, semi-colon, etc.) errors; Very few spelling and capitalization errors (3-5 errors).

ESSay 2 pros: • Clear, appropriate thesis statement • Many concrete details • Transitional phrases/statements used in each paragraph • Conclusion re-states thesis

ESSay 2 Cons: • A few sentence structure errors • Some unnecessary repetition of words or word phrases

ESSay 2 BrEaKDoWN

introduction with thesis statement: The three people who should be included in the National Museum of African American History and Culture are Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey. These three African Americans are some of the most recogniz- able and influential people of the twenty-first century. I believe they are owed recognition in the National Museum for their contributions to African Americans and to humanity for the following reasons.

15 Body paragraph 1

topic Sentence with transitional phrase: First, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spearheaded the Civil Rights era with an ideology and approach that seemed to mirror Mahatma Gandhi’s view.

argument/Explanation: The idea was nonviolent resistance to the laws and hardships that plagued African Americans in the nineteen- sixties. Dr. King’s approach was more successful than his contemporaries, because his message was not rooted in hate or retribution.

Development/Details: Instead, his message preached forgiveness and understanding. Dr. King’s courage led the people of the Civil Rights era to inevitable victory, but at the cost of his own life.

return to main idea: Dr. Martin Luther King was murdered before his dream was real- ized and, for this reason above all, he should be given a place of honor at the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

Body paragraph 2

topic Sentence with transitional phrase: In addition to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby is a person who has contributed a great deal to the recognition of African Ameri- can culture and to the enrichment of all mankind.

argument/Explanation: Bill Cosby began his career in the nineteen-sixties as a come- dian and later worked as a television celebrity. However, Bill Cosby would later become a philanthropist whose mission was to help all of mankind.

Development/Details: In the nineteen-eighties, Bill Cosby wrote a series of books on parenting that revolutionized the way parents treat their children. Mr. Cosby has also championed various issues from Civil Rights to education. Recently, Bill Cosby went to New Orleans to battle the scandal surrounding the elections in that city.

return to main idea: After all the philanthropic efforts Mr. Cosby has made, he definitely belongs in the National Museum of African American Culture.

Body paragraph 3

topic Sentence with transitional phrase: Furthermore, another candidate that deserves recognition is in the National Museum for African American History and Culture Oprah Winfrey.

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argument/Explanation: Mrs. Winfrey began as a television personality at a small news station in New York. She would later become one of the most recognizable African American females in the world. Oprah Winfrey accomplished this by using her television show to promote the discussion of sensitive and controversial issues such as sexual harass- ment, politics, affirmative action and healthcare.

Development/Details: Oprah Winfrey gained the respect of the whole nation when she talked about her own sexual assault as a child. As a result of Oprah’s own courage, many other people can talk about their problems. Oprah has also championed various causes to serve humanity. She recently did a television show on childhood obesity and its impact on adulthood diseases.

return to main idea: Clearly for these reasons, Oprah Winfrey should be inducted into the National Museum for African American History and Culture.

Conclusion with re-stated thesis: In conclusion, these three icons should be rewarded for their contributions to African American culture and humanity. Very few people influence the world about African Americans like these three people. The courage these people, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey, showed and the hardships they faced should guarantee them a place of honor in the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

ESSay 3

Question Code 03 “Students entering Norfolk State University seeking the baccalaureate degree are required to take forty semester hours from the general education core curriculum consisting of Digital, Computer and Telecommunications; Communications; Humanities; Social Sciences; Math- ematics; Natural Sciences; Health and Physical Education; and Cultural Electives.” from Norfolk State University 2002-2004 University Catalog

Question: in what ways have you benefited from the required general education courses that you have taken while a student here at Norfolk State University?

Although my main goal in coming to Norfolk State University was to obtain a baccalaureate degree in Computer Science with engineering emphasis, I never knew I would benefit so much from the general education core curriculum courses offered on cam- pus. My benefits can be categorized into five groups based on the required general educa- tion courses. These include Humanities benefits, Health and Physical Education benefits, Mathematics benefits, communications benefits, and Natural Sciences benefits. Taking Humanities 210 and 211, gave me more knowledge in three different areas. These were history, culture, and religion. Although I was born in Africa, I never knew Africa was the second largest continent in the world until I studied the history of in

17 my Humanities 210 class. I also did not know that Africa had on of the earliest civilization until I heard about that in a presentation given in class. The earliest civilization was in the Mesopotemia region in Northern Africa. From my Humanities 210 and 211 class, I have been able to understand why certain people live differently from other people in different parts of the world. This became clear to me after studying different cultures in different regions in the world. From Humanities 211, I have been able to learn the other regions in some knowledge about other peoples religion. Some of these religion includes Buddhism and Huiduism from India, and Islam and Zoroastranism from Persia. Now to my Health and Physical Education benefits. Health and Physical Education classes have helped me stay relaxed and also reduce a lot of my school stress. From this class or course, I have been able to create my own exercise program that helped me stay fit all year round. Last year. After taking PED-100, I have been able to exercise all parts of my body. I have also learned how to lift weights properly to strengthen my biceps and triceps. My Mathematics benefits includes: gaining experience in the use of some computer application software such as MATLAB, MINITAB, EXCEL, etc, analyzing data, drawing graphs from a given equation, and wming up with solutions to a given problem. All of these benefits were obtained from taking MTH-153 which involves data analysis and translation of data into graphs, and MTH-384 which involves finding a general solution to a given problem. My other benefit category can be found in my communication courses which includes ENG-101 and ENG -102 has helped improve my writing strategy for essays, laboratory reports, and even my research papers. In ENG-101, I learned a lot from the five-minute paragraph drills that were given in class. This helped me to come up with good, if not the best essays, by always remembering to have a topic sentence, followed by main points and examples or elaboration of points, and a conclusion. Finally, with my Natural Sciences courses, I have been able to classify solutions or mixtures into homogeneous or heterogeneous mixtures, based on their appearance. In CHM – 221 lab, I learned that, if a mixture appears to have a uniform composition, then that will be classified as a homogeneous mixture and mixture that forms two distinct layers or the substances involved in a mixture. In this same lab, I have learned how to separate the substances involved in a mixture. When a heterogeneous mixture involving two distinct layers of substance, the decanting method should be used to separate the substance. If the heterogeneous mixture has visible substances involving a sohel and a liguid, then the filtration method will be used to separate the substances. Also from my labs, I found out that homogeneous mixtures can be separated by means of evaporation. Not only have I benefited from my Natural Sciences by being able to classify and separate mixtures but also, I have been able to determine what a person’s weight would be on different planets. This was made possible to me when I took PHY-152 and found out that, a person’s weight actually depends on the force of gravity acting on that person. Since the force of gravity var- ies from one planet to the other, it came to me that a person weighing 100 pounds on earth will not have the same weight when he or she goes to planet mars.

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ESSay 4

Question Code 03

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller from “Odes to Joy” in Time, January 17, 2005

Question: Do you agree with Helen Keller that people often ignore the opportunity to be happy in the present because they waste their time being miserable about the past?

In this day, and age happiness is nowhere near. Ignoring the opportunity to be happy in the present is very easily done. The post holds a lot of people back from’ happiness feels. Disbelief about happiness makes you a one minded person. When you’re always experi- encing miserable sometimes you become a cold person. It’s much easier to brace yourself for bad times. Everyone, have bad times but everyone can’t look past them. Majority of the time you have to find happiness within yourself. If you just sitting around wating for happiness it will never come. When the doors of happiness open you have to look for- ward. The past is in the past for a reason. Everyone have bad times but you have to keep your eye on the prize. Personally, happiness is always a good feeling. It’s hard to forget miserable times, but a good moment comes once in a blue moon. Take advantage of happiness when it finally arrives. I, believe on Karma so if you’re experiencing bad times you have done miserable things. Sometimes, I don’t want to open the door of happiness, because negativity is right around the corner. A lot of times you have to just walk into the next door of happiness. The past is a learning experience not a resting place. You have to move passed the miserable times to make you a stronger person. There is nothing you can do about the past that’s why it’s considered the past. You have to go through bad times in order to see the good ones. Feeling miserable get’s you nowhere, but happiness can get you to many places. Many people waste their time on trying to change the past. People sometimes don’t have control over the situation, but they feel as though they do. You live for good days, and bad ones. It’s hard to move on, but it will benefit you in the end. Especially, when life has dealt you a bad hand. Although, happiness is not right on your fingertips keep hope alive. Looking for negativity it will appear when you least expect it. Stride for all doors of happiness and good things will come from it. You should never think that happiness is not for you. Living the present is the best thing to do. Leave the past in the past don’t look back. If you keep looking back you will end up with the same results. You have on life so make sure you life the best life ever.

Word Count: 418

20 From the above paragraphs, it is quite obvious that I have nicely benefited from the required general education courses that I have taken while a student here at Norfolk State University.

WORD COUNT: 735

Comments on ESSay 3

this is a paSSiNG essay and most frequently falls into the “Competency” category:

organization Generalized thesis addresses the prompt; Simple, but recognizable introduction and conclu- sion; Adequate incorporation of support for thesis in body paragraphs, though they may obtain some extraneous information; Transitions may be mechanical, but foster coherence.

Development & analysis Development is basic, ideas are reasonably clear, though they do not help flesh out some of the main arguments presented; Arguments on topic, but may not demonstrate in-depth understanding.

Sentence Structure Sequencing shows logic, some sentence variety; Sentences are routine, but effective; A few fragments, run-ons, etc., but not to the point of distraction.

Grammar, Diction & mechanics Problems with grammar are not serious enough to distort meaning, but may not be correctly applied in each instance; Attempts at colorful language apparent, but diction sometimes reaches beyond the scope of the argument; Punctuation sometimes missing or wrong; Some spelling and capitalization errors (5-10 errors).

ESSay 3 pros: • Generalized thesis statement • Concrete details • Good organization

ESSay 3 Cons: • Covers a multitude of subjects sparsely, instead of focusing on just a few • Several sentence structure errors, including a number of fragments • Some problems with grammar and mechanics • Conclusion is simply a sentence, not a full paragraph

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Comments on ESSay 4

this is not a passing essay and most frequently falls into the “Developing Competency” category:

organization Thesis is vague or implied, not clear or specific, may simply breach prompt; Introduction and conclusion do not establish purpose or summarize arguments; Body paragraphs are poorly organized, ideas are strung together haphazardly; Ineffective transitions.

Development & analysis Details may be too broad, narrow or inappropriate; Arguments are unclear or supporting evidence is insufficient, often unnecessarily repetitious.

Sentence Structure Very little sentence variety, most are structured the same way; Some are awkward, others are fragments, run-ons, etc.

Grammar, Diction & mechanics Numerous grammatical errors that distort meaning in some instances; Language often used in odd ways; Jargon or clichés distract or mislead, redundancy is distracting; Many external and internal punctuation errors as well as numerous errors in spelling and capitalization (10-15 errors).

ESSay 4 pros: • Uses indention and paragraphing • Begins to address the prompt

ESSay 4 Cons: • Only has an implied thesis • No concrete details; philosophical, but has no real substance • Many awkward phrases and misspelled words • Odd sentence structure, many sentences are fragments • Many problems with grammar, diction and mechanics

ESSay 5

Question Code 03 “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller from “Odes to Joy” in Time, January 17, 2005

Question: Do you agree with Helen Keller that people often ignore the opportunity to be happy in the present because they waste their time being miserable about the past?

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I believe this statement to be true. I also see it as a metaphor for more than just said. I think it boils down to appreciation. I say this for many reasons. We as a country take things for granted. This subject can get so in-depth, that it can even involve the recent tragedy in our country just 4 years ago. I use this example for the single fact that 9/11 could have been a lot worse. Of course it was a tragedy, but we have to be grateful that other major cities weren’t hit, we have to be grateful that the white house wasn’t hit, we have to be grateful that many children weren’t hurt. These are things that we forget to consider, just to name a few. But it’s not our fault, it’s simply human behavior. Another subject that can raise this topic would be “Poverty”. We as Americans consider poverty a major issue, and it is. But we must look at our counterparts. They are a reflection on how blessed we are. I say this because in other countries, their poverty level is depressing. The families over there sometimes don’t even have shelter. They sleep on dirt and walk around with no shoes on as if it was a daily routine. They are faced with disease infested environments and low income jobs. We as Americans wouldn’t be caught dead doing manual labor for less than $5.50 an hour. Don’t get me wrong wrong, we do have poverty, but not to the level they’re on. The closet thing I can think of, to somewhat, be close to that would be our “projects” or government funded houses. At lease the majority of Americans has housing. It might not be the best furnished, but it’s a roof over their heads. I believe the average american wouldn’t last a week, living in another countries poverty. So the question is….are ameicans spoiled from lack of appreciation? Do americans often ignore the opportunity to be happy in the present because we waste our time being miserable in the past? I say yes! We as a coun- try tend to ignore opportunity when it knocks on our door. I will use “Our” problem with Iraqe. We have had an ongoing dispute with Iraq for many years now. Because of things that happend in the past, we are forced to see loved ones to be injured and killed, just for something that happend in the past, we are forced to see loved ones to be injured and killed, just for something that happend many years ago. Here’s where the opportunity to be happy comes in. While our soldiers are over there, fighting “Another” man’s war, over here the rich are getting richer. The more wars we have, the more money “America” gets. I guess this is the time to get happy, if you’re one of the rich getting richer, that is. They have nothing to lose. They don’t have family members over there fighting. I’m almost sure that anyone remotely close to the president won’t go to the war. Why? Because is someone close to the president was to get hurt, that wouldn’t exactly be a “Happy Opportunity”. Me, I love this country, it has a lot of flaws but what country doesn’t. Im glad I have the opportunity to get financial aid. So I can go to school, so I can have the opportunity to make a better life for the ones I care about. I’m excited that I have the opportunity to be happy now, thanks to the ones who were miserable in the past. So do I think Helen Keller’s Statement is true, well I’ll just say that “Avoid what made you miserable in the past, so you’ll have the opportunity to be happy in the present” WORD COUNT: 634

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InstItutIonal EffEctIvEnEss and assEssmEnt TIPS FOR PASSING THE EWC

1 REVIEW THE BASIC COMPONENTS OF A STANDARD, ACADEMIC ESSAY: Introduction Thesis statement Body paragraphs (at least three) Transitional devices Conclusion

You can review the components of a standard, academic essay at: http://www.wesleyan.edu/writing/workshop/departments/english.html http://www.studygs.net/5paragraph_edit.htm

2 DO AN OUTLINE! It is a very good idea to do a detailed outline before you begin writing your essay. A good outline can be more effective than a rough draft and it takes less time.

You can review sample essay outlines at: http://depts.gallaudet.edu/EnglishWorks/writing/fiveparagraph.html

3 MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND DEVELOPMENT AND ANALYSIS You must use development (arguments) and analysis (details) while writing your EWC essay. Your arguments should effectively address all aspects of the prompt. Specific details must be used to support each generalization in your essay and should enrich the central theme of the essay.

You can review development and analysis at: http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/english/melani/cs6/essay.html

4 REVIEW USAGE AND STYLE Usage and Style is nothing more than grammar and syntax. However, close to 90% of the students who do not pass the EWC do so because they have problems with Usage and Style. The only way to alleviate problems with sentence structure, tense, punctuation, spell- ing, etcetera is to PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!

You can review Usage and Style at: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index.htm http://www.csub.edu/~vturner/grammar.htm http://www.nj.devry.edu/esc/partsofspeech.htm

5 CONSULT THE EWC SCORING RUBRIC If you want to know what graders will be looking for when scoring the exam, read over the Scoring Rubric carefully. Your main objective is to get at least a score of (3) in each of the four criteria. You must get at least a score of (3) in each criterion to pass the EWC.

WritiNG/proofrEaDiNG tipS 24

Comments on ESSAY 5

this is not a passing essay and most frequently falls into the “incompetence” category:

organization No clear or implied thesis statement; No clear introduction or conclusion; Paragraphing is missing, irregular or so frequent that it has no relationship to the essay; transitions are confus- ing or absent; Organizational problems make the essay near impossible to understand.

Development & analysis Supporting information is limited, unclear or not present at all; Thoughts are disconnected and have no discernable point; Essay length is not adequate for development.

Sentence Structure Sequencing is random, most phrases are not sentences at all; Endless conjunctions or a complete lack thereof, which causes mass confusion.

Grammar, Diction & mechanics Frequent grammatical errors distort meaning and hinder communication; Little to no variation in word choice, language is used incorrectly and seriously impairs understanding; Gross errors in punctuation, spelling and capitalization that hinder meaning as well as understand- ing. (15+ errors).

ESSay 5 Cons: • No paragraphs or indentation • No thesis statement • Question/prompt not identified or clearly addressed • No concrete details that support the question/prompt • Frequent use of awkward phrasing and misspelled words • Odd sentence structure, many sentences are fragments and/or run-ons • Several problems with grammar, diction and mechanics

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Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers. This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand.

2. a strong thesis justifies discussion. Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family. This is a weak thesis because it states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading. While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family. This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. a strong thesis expresses one main idea. Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and web pages can provide both advertising and customer support. This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write: Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using web pages that offer both advertising and customer support. This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like “because,” “since,” “so,” “al- though,” “unless,” and “however.”

4. a strong thesis statement is specific. A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you write a paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects. This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, “world hunger” can’t be dis- cussed thoroughly in five or ten pages. Second, “many causes and effects” is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in appalachia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

26 HOW TO WRITE A THESIS STATEMENT

What is a thesis Statement? Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.

Why Should your Essay Contain a thesis Statement? • to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two • to better organize and develop your argument • to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can you Write Good thesis Statement? Here are some helpful hints to get you started:

How to Generate a thesis Statement if the topic is assigned.

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . . .” - OR - A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . . .” The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

How to tell a Strong thesis Sentence from a Weak one.

1. a strong thesis takes some sort of stand. Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements: There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement. This is a weak thesis. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase “negative and posi- tive aspects” is vague.

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This is a strong thesis because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN

Some Reflections on How to Write an Essay

the parts of an essay and their functions: A thesis statement is a sentence which tells what you think about the topic of your essay. Your thesis statement should be a sentence that will prompt a response in a reader, or cause him/her to ask “why?” Your thesis sentence should also be a statement that con- tains the gist of your point of view on the subject you are going to write about. Generally, a thesis statement will appear in the introduction to the essay, which is the first paragraph or section of the essay introducing your topic. Aim for a clear, strong introduction that sets out what you’re going to say. Your introduction should be mainly the “explaining” part of your paper. You should be aiming to present your idea in the introduction (whatever it is, agreeing with an idea or disagreeing), and then explain how it generally works. You don’t want to get into specifics yet; you just want to establish the direction in which your essay is going to go. Support for your thesis will appear in the body of the essay, which is the “illustrating” part of your paper. In the body, you want to show how you know what you say you know, and to do this you are going to use examples. You should be as specific as possible. Give several carefully-chosen examples, or if you have few, provide very detailed ac- counts of them. If your examples are well-described, it will be clear to the reader that you have excellent reasons for believing as you do; thus you will have shown how you know what you say you know. The essay will end with a conclusion, where you will “wrap up.” In your conclusion, you are trying to show how what you have described and discussed is generally valid.

Checking the draft for completeness and high quality: It is important to learn to edit your work; there are very few good writers who are not also good editors. Plan to spend some time checking your draft. Check for clarity; you want to make sure everything you’ve written sounds like it makes sense and is reasonably correct. You should first read your essay over slowly to yourself (or even aloud) and catch any mistakes you see. Edit out anything in your paper that seems to be going in a different direction to what you want to say. You don’t want to contradict yourself. Make sure there are smooth transitions between parts of your essay. You want each paragraph to follow from the previous one, so your whole essay flows along. There’s a simple way to do this: make the last sentence in each paragraph reflect or echo the first sentence in the next. Try practicing this a few times. Watch out for sentence fragments. Where sentences begin with If, Since, Although, When, etc., make sure that they are properly finished. For example, “Although my dog died. My cat is still alive.” should be, “Although my dog died, my cat is still alive.” Divide up run-on sentences. Where you have two sentences run together, separate them with periods. For example, the sentence, “I go to The College of Staten Island I am thirty-

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three” should be “I go to The College of Staten Island. I am thirty-three.” Separate comma splices. When you have two complete sentences joined only by a comma, this is a comma splice error, as in the sentence, “I had no food for three days, I survived.” Find ways to join the sentences in ways that show the relationship between them, such as, “I had no food for three days, but I survived.” Be sure that you don’t end up with subject and verb disagreement. This happens when the subject and verb are in conflict, such as in the sentence, “The trees is beautiful.” There is subject/verb disagreement between the subject (trees) and the verb (is) because where the subject “trees” is plural, the verb “is” is singular. It should read, instead, “the trees (plural) are (plural) beautiful.”

Prepared by Professor Catherine Lavender for courses taught in The Department of History, The College of Staten Island of The City University of New York. Send email to [email protected] Last modified: Monday, 25 September 2000.

tipS for proofrEaDiNG

proofread backwards. Begin at the end and work back through the paper paragraph by paragraph or even line by line. This will force you to look at the surface elements rather than the meaning of the paper.

Know your own typical mistakes. Before you proofread, look over papers you have written in the past. Make a list of the errors you make repeatedly. Proofread for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most frequent problem, go through the paper checking just that one problem. Then proofread again for the next most frequent problem.

proofread aloud. This will slow you down and you will hear the difference between what you meant to write and what you actually wrote. Try reading backwards, a sentence at a time. This will help you focus on the sentences, rather than getting caught up in the content of your paper.

Read through your paper several times, once looking just at spelling, another time looking just at punctuation, and so on. Again, this can help you focus so you’ll do a better job.

Remember that editing isn’t just about errors. You want to polish your sentences at this point, making them smooth, interesting, and clear. Watch for very long sentences, since they may be less clear than shorter, more direct sentences. Pay attention to the rhythm of your writing; try to use sentences of varying lengths and patterns. Look for unnecessary phrases, repeti- tion, and awkward spots.

Adapted from: http://www.ualr.edu/owl/proofreading.htm

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR HELP WITH THE EXAMINATION OF WRITING COMPETENCY (EWC)

ACCESS campus computer lab, free tutoring for EWC students—some tutors have been trained to work with EWC as they prepare to take the Exam or after they have not passed it and need to re-take it. Norfolk Community Hospital Building, contact [email protected]

www.bedfordsmartins.com/smhandbook On-line writing handbook, electronic exercises, and The Twenty Most Common Errors

http://owl.english.purdue.edu On-line writing lab sponsored by Purdue University

In accordance with Section 504 of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), if you have a disability or think you have a disability, we ask that you please contact the supporting students through Disability Services (SSDS) Office. Location:2nd Floor / Lyman B. Brooks Library, Room 240 Contact Person: Marian E. Shepherd, Disability Services Coordinator Telephone: 757-823-2014

For more information about the EWC, please contact the Writing Competency Coordinator, Remica L. Bingham at 757-823-2930 or [email protected]

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