creating either a holistic or an analytic rubric for the file i attached

profilefadel-
eslwriting_samples.pdf

writing class in an intensive college preparatory program. The prompt was to write'about something memorable. As you read these stories,' try to be aware of I

Iyour own reactions to the text. What features of the writing do you find annoy- ing~ Clear? Conuincingi Would you say that either Composition is'better than the other, in your. uieto of what constitutes effeetive ~riiing? ' '. . .

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Composition} was written by a native speaker of Japanese. Composition 2 was written. by someone who was raised in Japan, but who wasnot ethnically japanese.The two authors.were studentsin the'same ESL claSs ~ California .

. Composition 1

WAe.t. / WItS:: It dtifd~ "'11«:H..u- Wlt y ab.ia.p 'iafu..e- h> Me- i'fab IrIu4y . u , ~ t ~ ItlAItf Ir~y.

Ho"'? / hJL fOU ~"" .. - . .

/ Aad It '~ /riedy..iMj are- vfif.L eood- l ribui. / Wlt9 ~u..e-~~ ·,w.uyd4fo: £ad, of ~ ~ Iribuiy-. ~.TMf : .&~.fie!r Ir~Y.to ~' . / f'lA1e<J,~~. l.i:/f{e,- 6jf.iHte,.~ fIu."y group ~ ~ 6iq-. ,-w,e- ~~ i» ..:; " .p/.a..tf 6-<t~ . fIu."y f1rOup, 1101- JKcre- 6k (kOUl>-._

Pf:ad~are;ilerf~i.If-~ti/i?~ ffto~fou 'are- $O.orWJ~ 6U. ~ TM1I«:H..u- 'i4i.d- t» JM.4h,lri.e.+<.d-Y? / ~ wa:t~ ry. ewrjdaj a./fu 0..oDl ·41d>uj<;e.l Aadfribui'i" 6uf / Wlt~,"}f:pf4.ju..e- Uli:fk-f4tti,;Fj;fAu ~id/r/t'yot iv .

,' , ""la:hJ., ry.w itJou wad fb wa.tcJ,; rY." fah,yO~ IraM- tH:e...-wa:tcJv h~fIter . ' 11-·'i'~ ·fIt.4J,. W...,e;. . ", .

. ~. .: ~ " .; . . .. : . . '-... . ' , . . ijOlil'l it-.- 9IiIL frJu..e-n tttU.e; It\.AAj (riud~: : ' :

· . COinp os ~ t i b n lIS 148 words' long. r , ' .' .

J Cflmposition2 . . • : i :. ~ . .

:ThiS is very shQ.meFllle~perienc..eto me. - i. ' Wh e ~ I 'Visit ed to KOREA f irst 'time in [92'0. .

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I took a: ta~i from airport , It was rainny night ano :r:-e(llly hard +0 ~Ollght . the ta~i. · Beeuuse there ~re ~o many people a+ the. airport.

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.'\; At .last) I c..Ollght the t~l<.i aHer I waite.daboirt ,4-0 minutes. Then the '. . ,ta ~ i was begin +0 rlln.

': AHe~ 'drove about 5 minut~s the driver went to other way that was- . . . -' ( made me feel some' Fear.

': I asked .him W why yOll going this way?n , . .

Hi said~Oh/ don't w~rry th is is a shodt.v+!!n ". ";'

:.: A Her ~: littl~ while he ~ad~ s+~p' at:.ar: and h~ said ~ l th;nk th er~ is .~ome troble . With engine.

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. "( Was ~~allY.sc..~repbe~allse it Jai rea\ly dad~ "~'nd be~~me. terrible rain, . He said "'I'm s~rry but I needy~~r he\p. Wholld ' yov · pllsh myc..ar ?n

"T hen I did: I Was of iov,e leave o.!\of niy" s+iJH .in the . 't ime, Is~s ped~dwhat I gO ing '+o happen Fro~now ,<

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eur. At th e .

Composi~ion . '.I

1 .: Composit io

I added all of my power and pllsh the car.

Then he has gone. · ~ e. s . he steal my all of stuFFs: And I never Find my s+llFF again.

".. . . , I was really sad) blft I c..ollidn't tell any my Japanese hiends, Bec..avse I am KOREAN , .