Touchstone revision
follow all directions
2 years ago
5
touchstonerevisionassignment.docx
Tsfeedback.pdf
TOUCHSTONE2.2.docx
TOUCHSTONE1.1.docx
touchstonerevisionassignment.docx
ASSIGNMENT: Review the rubric comments and summary feedback you received on your Touchstone 2.2 draft to deepen and extend your analysis of your topic. Submit a revision of your Touchstone 2.2 draft that reflects the feedback. Include a copy of your Touchstone 2.2 draft below the "Think About Your Writing" questions for this unit.
Sample Revised Image Analysis Essay
Sample Revised Extended Definition Essay
In order to foster learning and growth, all essays you submit must be newly written specifically for this course. Any plagiarized or recycled work will result in a Plagiarism Detected alert. Review this tutorial for more about plagiarism and the Plagiarism Detected alert: Touchstones: Academic Integrity Guidelines. For guidance on the use of generative AI technology, review Ethical Standards and Appropriate Use of AI.
A. Directions
Step 1: Revise the Informative Essay
All writers revise their work as part of the writing process. For Touchstone 3, submit a revised version of your Touchstone 2.2 informative essay. The process of revising involves “re-thinking” your essay. Your revision should reflect your attention to the following:
• Rhetorical situation
• Focus
• Organization
• Flow
• Style
• Clarity
As you review the grader’s suggestions and feedback of your draft, evaluate how your essay can be improved in each of the areas above. Focus your attention on the areas that would benefit most from revision. You can add, delete, or move text as you revise your essay.
Note the following revision guidelines:
• Do not draft a new essay on a new topic. You must revise your Touchstone 2.2 draft using the feedback provided.
• Allow time between drafts so that you can see your original work from a new perspective.
• Revision is different from editing and proofreading; however, be sure to edit and proofread your revised essay before you submit it.
BIG IDEA
Revise your Touchstone 2.2 essay using the revision strategies you learned in Unit 3. This revision should reflect significant changes from your first draft, and should incorporate the feedback you received on Touchstone 2.2.
Step 2. Think About Your Writing
Include answers to all of the following reflection questions below your completed revision.
1 How much time did you spend revising your draft? Which revision strategies did you use, and which of them worked best for you? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: A good revision takes time. This is your opportunity to re-think, rearrange, and re-evaluate your writing. Which revision strategies did you use? Do you still agree with your thesis? Do you believe that your evidence supports your thesis and that you have met the requirements of the assignment?
2 How did the revision process improve your essay? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: Compare your draft to your revision. Have you added relevant details or removed irrelevant ones? Have you changed the order of details or paragraphs? Have you added transitions for better flow? In which ways is your revision better than your draft?
3 What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: Think about the entire process of drafting and revising this essay. Did any part of the process surprise you or reveal something unexpected?
Step 3. Review Rubric and Checklist
Your essay and reflection will be scored according to the Informative Rubric, which considers your revision and edits, effectiveness in addressing the writing prompt for either the advertisement image analysis essay OR the extended definition essay, the working thesis, organization, style and tone, focus, conventions and proofreading, and your responses to the “Think About Your Writing” questions.
Tsfeedback.pdf
ur score.
Rubric Categor y
Point s
Percentag e Result
Image Analysis / Extended Definition (10 points)
10.0 25%
Advanced (100%) - Prompt A: Consistently goes beyond description to analyze the design choices made in the advertisement, including layout, color schemes, text, and/or other design components; effectively draws conclusions about the intended audience, and the likely impact and effectiveness of the advertisement. Prompt B: Defines a meaningful and nuanced word or concept in a coherent and compelling way, consistently using critical thinking and thoughtful discussion to explore the definition; consistently goes beyond traditional definitions to define or redefine the word in a new and unique way. Relies on personal or common knowledge. Michael added:Excellent work writing this essay in the informative mode. There is always room to improve, so remember to still revise this draft for the Touchstone 3 to best meet rubric requirements. Image analysis that analyzes various components rather than simply
Working Thesis (5 points)
3.9 13%
Acceptable (75%) - Has an acceptable working thesis that states a claim, but it may be unclear or unfocused, or consist of more than one sentence. Michael added: Nice set up to the essay with a sense of the plans to inform the reader about this topic. To improve, consider clarifying more exact plans for what the body paragraphs will cover. Nice work including a thesis. To strengthen, your thesis should state the main idea and forecast 3 - 4 points you intend to discuss in support of the main idea. You should focus on analyzing the visual elements of the ad.
Organization (5 points) 3.9 13%
Acceptable (75%) - Includes all of the required components of an essay, including an introduction with a thesis; an adequate number of body paragraphs (3-6), each with a topic sentence; and a conclusion with a concluding statement; however, some components may be ineffective; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is somewhat logical, and may lack good flow. Michael added: Nice work organizing most ideas for this informative essay. To improve, consider using topic sentences more consistently to connect informative ideas to the thesis statement.
Style and Tone (5 point) 3.9 13%
Acceptable (75%) - Demonstrates generally effective style choices, but may include poor word choice, and/or repetitive sentence structures; primarily establishes an unbiased and impersonal tone that is appropriate for an informative essay; but some sections express bias or include personal observations. Michael added: Good job remaining objective for most of this informative essay. To improve, consider avoiding argumentation or the inclusion of personal opinion.
Focus (5 point) 3.6 12%
Acceptable (75%) - Details are predominantly relevant and generally support the purpose of the essay, though some details may be irrelevant and/or distracting. Michael added: Good focus for each body paragraph with the use of topic sentences to keep ideas on track for this informative essay. You have some good ideas here, including the colors. To strengthen, the essay should focus on 3-4 visual elements of the ad and discuss how these elements support the main idea.
Conventions (5 point) 4.8 12%
Advanced (100%) - There are few, if any, negligible errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, formatting, and usage. Michael added:Impeccable editing for this informative Touchstone.
Think About Your Writing (5 point)
0.0 12%
Non-Performance (0%) - Does not answer the majority of reflection questions or the majority of answers do not follow response length guidelines. Michael added: Keep in mind that each Touchstone requires a Think About Your Writing section where you are asked to personally reflect on the writing submitted, which is worth points.
FEEDBACK: This is a great start, and you’ve made some great points about the Volkswagen ad, but remember, you should analyze the visual elements of the ad to gain a better understanding of the whole image.
Keep up the hard work,
Michael
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