revising English essay

background paragraph  -  revise whole paragraph .

argument 1 paragraph - develop primary support etc.

argument 2 paragraph - improve evidence per input.

argument 3 paragraph - improve evidence to show the significant difference of stranded tests compared to PISA.

refuting paragraph 1 - discuss the weakness of Korea approach with maximum amount of homework.

refuting .

refuting paragraph 2 - add evidence of teachers teaching for the test .

conclusion - clarify your first change to curriculum summarize your two refuting ideas.

( when you revise the essay everything you change make it in bold type ). and your source is the book "the smartest kid in the world and how they got the way"