revise music essay

Follow all of the instructions please

1. revise all of the points the  red part of the text

2. my score at last is 12.5(quite low) the highest points is 15. It means that, if you fix all of the problems my TA has mentioned, you will reach this score.

3. you can redo my graph too, but the words TA mentioned finally is the most critical way to improve my score

4. my writing prompt I posted below, read them first, word by words

5. due date is11/25(Friday night)