research essay

this is what my professor commented-

Individual Feedback:

Nimit,

Uhoh - there are personal pronouns in this essay like "me" and "you." Remember to avoid all personal pronouns so your essay sounds as professional and polished as possible.

There are also fragments, comma issues, and some wording problems.

When you cite a direct quote, you need page numbers or paragraph numbers in those parenthesis.

I also saw run-on sentences, and, do avoid the vague word "things."

Your essay is also short the four and a half pages -and take out the extra spaces on the Works Cited.

You also needed two secondary sources - cited in your essay and on the Works Cited.