Proofreading argumentative essay

I need proofreading of my essay, It is an argumentative essay on whether someone should start their business or not. 

It will be graded on these six criterias, please add or change anything you think is missing.

1) authentic voice     4) clarity/economy

2) original thought   5) research—as applicable

3) persuasiveness     6) grammar/punctuation

The word count needs to be 2000. Mine is 1530.