Negative News Message Elements

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Create a negative news message 

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Ashley Young <[email protected]>

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eric richards <[email protected]> Mon, Sep 9 at 9:32 PM To: Ashley Young <[email protected]>

Scenario: You are the assistant manager of a small consulting firm, and one of your responsibilities is ensuring all employees develop and maintain excellent communication skills. After all, communication is key to being a good consultant, and though clients are often the focus when measuring an employee's communication skills, how an employee communicates with co-workers is just as important, if not more so. 

Randall Pierce is a junior consultant you hired two months ago. Though he has shown nothing but exemplary communication skills when interacting with clients--they often make positive remarks on his listening skills and note the way he responds thoughtfully to their concerns--his communication with co-workers could use some improvement. You've noticed three specific less-than-ideal communication habits: When writing emails, he often takes too long to get to the main point of his message, which means many of his emails are unnecessarily long. During meetings, he frequently interrupts co-workers to add his thoughts. Also, when he gives status updates on team projects, he never mentions his team members and their contributions; he focuses only on his contributions to the project.

You know others have noticed these issues, but as Randall's direct supervisor, you've decided to address him personally and not mention that others have noticed to keep him from feeling overly self-conscious. Also, instead of discussing this during his 3-month performance review, you want to handle this now to help him recognize these issues and remedy them quickly because you know becoming a better communicator will help him reach his full potential in the firm. Also, he's been receptive to constructive criticism on other matters, so you know he's capable of making these changes. Though you believe in face-to-face communication whenever possible, you've decided to email this message to Randall to give him time to process it and spare him any potential embarrassment.

Important: Avoid using negative phrases from the scenario above in your message; write all content in your own words. Also, instead of relying on your authority to deliver this criticism, use effective communication skills by writing an indirect-style criticism message that uses positive language and direct/imperative statements to prompt the actions and changes you want to see. In other words, instead of focusing on Randall's ineffective communication habits, focus on stating the changes you want him to make and giving sufficient justification for each change. In other words, instead of just telling him what to do, tell him why -- how both he and

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others will benefit from these changes.

Written Message 4 Hints

Your subject line should let the reader know the topic of your message without casting it as “bad” news. It should contain specific language but only positive language.

Use the indirect method, which means your first paragraph will start with a buffer followed by the bad news/criticism. In the second paragraph, you will use imperative statements to tell the reader what to do differently and why, and the third paragraph will end on a topic- specific and future-focused note. See Negative News Message Elements Links to an external site. for more details. Also see examples of two messages written using direct style and indirect style in Chapter 11 in the section titled Professional Criticism  (examples are from Nancy White to Ned Turner regarding social media use). Important: Though you will use the indirect method, you should not use wording from the examples. In other words, do not start your message with The company greatly appreciates... or end it with You are a great employee... Also don't start a paragraph with However; that word is typically used between sentences. Write your own specific, scenario-based buffer, criticism, statement of professional criticism and closing.

Your message must have multiple paragraphs. Below are details about each one:

First paragraph: Start with a buffer, a few sentences that make a positive, meaningful point about Randall and let him know the topic of the message (his communication skills). Revisit the scenario to see what positive points it makes about the Randall's communication skills, and write a buffer that mentions that point. Instead of just copying the wording above, invent a few details of your own to make the buffer specific and realistic to the reader. Writing an effective buffer can be challenging, so work on it as soon as you can. See Negative News Message ElementsLinks to an external site. , and choose a logical buffer type. A buffer of agreement, appreciation and/or praise (buffer types can be combined) would work well in this situation. Following the buffer will be the negative news/statement of criticism. State the negative news/criticism as neutrally as possible. Doing so is one of this message's main challenges, and that statement (one or two sentences) should appear at the end of the first paragraph. The final challenge of the first paragraph is making the buffer and negative news/statement of criticism flow, in other words, creating coherence between those points. Find a way to connect those two elements so that they seem related. Approximate paragraph length: 2-4 sentences

In the second paragraph, state and explain each change you want Randall to make

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using imperative statements. For example, instead of writing You should resolve disputes by..., write Resolve disputes by... OR When faced with a dispute, resolve it by... Imperative statements are good for encouraging action, are usually more concise, and often have good you-attitude when worded positively. Since you will list three changes, use transitional words and phrases as needed within the paragraph containing the three points. You must also explain each change in a way that is persuasive but not overwhelming. The reader must understand your criticism is being offered constructively, so explain how each suggestion will benefit the reader and/or others. Try to think of two specific, logical benefits/reasons for each change to maximize the message's persuasiveness; one benefit/reason per change is the minimum. Including benefits helps convince the reader that he/she and others will benefit from making these changes. Use your critical thinking skills to determine what those benefits might be, and do any basic research necessary to help you write persuasive content. If you do research so you can better explain your points, be sure to write all content in your own words.  Avoid mentioning a company benefit, and also avoid a fear-invoking statement like These changes will help save your job. Approximate paragraph length: 6-8 sentences

In the third/final paragraph, end the message with a positive, forward-looking closer (one or two sentences). The closer can state what you are looking forward to seeing in regards to this situation and/or what positive outcome(s) Randall will have after making these changes. Avoid writing a generic "throwaway" sentence like If you have questions, please ask or Thank you for your hard work. Remember that the closer should be in a paragraph of its own, even if it's only a sentence or two long. Important: In the Chapter 11 section titled Professional Criticism, the sample emails from Nancy White to Ned Turner regarding social media use do not have good closers. Both are generic and should be avoided. Approximate paragraph length: 1-3 sentences

Negative News Message Elements