Lifespan Dev

INSTRUCTIONS: Respond to the two discussions below.

2.1 Discussion Joy

I was once in relationship with someone whom I considered to be my best friend, and someone I leaned heavily on for emotional support, especially when my marriage was in a bad place.  She relied on me in a similar but different way, as she was very unhappy about the fact that she was in her mid 30s, hated her career, and did not have a marriage and children of her own. She spent almost all her time with me and my family. In some ways, she played the role of my spouse (because my marriage to my own spouse was suffering) and a second mother, or aunt) to my children. 

What I came to realize in this relationship (through therapy, praying, and reading the book,  Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend) is that she and I had formed a bond out of mutual codependency with one another that was seemingly serving both of us in our moments of crisis or need; but, the dynamic was not helping either of us take hard looks at ourselves and our lives to realize how each of us were the main components to our own unhappiness. The more therapy and praying for discernment that I did, the more I realized that I was being called to establish some firm boundaries with this friend so that I could focus on taking accountability for the things in my own life that weren’t going well, as opposed to inviting her into every part of my life so I could fill the voids of my own discontentment and actively avoid dealing with my issues.   

I responded to this nudging from the Holy Spirit through surrender. For so long I felt in my heart that the dynamics of this relationship were unhealthy – even though the interactions oftentimes felt good for fleeting moments (likely because I didn’t have to think of the difficulties of my circumstances and if I did, I could just complain about them, which also felt good). I was also very much a people pleaser and conflict terrified me because at the root I didn’t want to be abandoned by the person with whom I was in relationship, nor did I want to hurt or upset the other person – codependent much? Lol. I knew the Holy Spirit was nudging me to address this situation with her one-on-one. I initiated some hard conversations with her (which made me sick to my stomach with anxiety), in attempts to establish boundaries of time and space with her and to start a new dynamic in our friendship. 

These conversations did not always go the way in which I hoped they would and ultimately, after multiple conversations and the passing of time, she and I are no longer acquainted. Through surrender, however, I stopped holding so tightly to the outcome of our relationship and all the ways I needed to do this or that to make sure that the relationship stayed intact. Surrendering helped me realize that by doing so, I could trust God to be in control of the outcome if I stayed in my integrity and was coming from a place of love in my interactions with her. I didn’t have to control and manage what happened to our relationship; I simply had to control what I could control, and she’d have to do the same (and her part was not my responsibility). For so long I was afraid of losing her, but I realized that by behaving the way I was in relationship with her, I was behaving out of fear and not love, nor was I honoring my own heart, peace, and precious energy or the health of my relationship with her. I’d always thought boundaries were mean and heartless, when in fact, they can be the most honoring act of love. I needed to change my own behavior in relationship with her so I could honor me, her, and us. “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing” (Cloud & Townsend, 2017).  

I could have continued operating from fear and conforming to the status quo of our relationship, but that would have snowballed our already unhealthy dynamic and I could see the freight train lights coming through the tunnel. So, I had to make the change. My actions were further substantiated through the words of the Apostle Paul in God’s Word, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (ESV, 2008, Romans 12:2).

References

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. S. (2017).  Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.

Bible gateway passage: John 14:6, Luke 12:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, - English standard version. Bible Gateway. (2016). https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14%3A6&version=ESV

2.2 Discussion Cing

  "Harvard University Psychiatrist Robert Coles has noted that adolescence has commanded more attention than any other period of life from, novelists, social scientists, and journalist. Oxford English Dictionary defines adolescence as the process or condition of growing up, the period between childhood and maturity. (Austrian, 2008, p. 133).  During this period, individuals are experiencing a lot of changes. They change physically, socially, and mentally. The problem is in they are confused everything, so if there is no proper guidance withing the transition, they might lose themselves. This is why it is important to use positive psychology in guiding and raising adolescences.

  Sheldon & King states, "Positive Psychology is nothing more than the scientific study of ordinary human's strength and virtues. Positive psychology revisits the average person with an interest in finding out what works, what is right and what is improving" (2001). I believe when transitioning from childhood to adolescence, we often forget that adolescence is in search of identity and strength. With positive psychology, not only we can guide them positive thinking, but it can also help built up gratitude as they observe their surrounding positively. They just need someone who can understand, who allowed them to talk through their new experiences and most importantly they need someone who can guide them. 

  I understand that positive psychology is all about being grateful, having positive mindset. But I feel like positive psychology might not work in applying to traumatic kids. I say kids because, if during childhood a trauma is not heal, it will likely continue even in adolescence. If a child grew up in an abusive environment, there is no way that child can accept the idea of positive outlook. Adolescence with unhealed traumas should be taught about design thinking instead of positive psychology. "Design thinking is about believing we can make a difference and having an intentional process in order to get to new, relevant solutions that create positive impact" ( Using Design Thinking to Craft Your Career: An Introduction, n.d.). Design thinking not only will teach them about how to be positive, but also give a sense of control over their trauma. Once they feel a sense of control over their trauma, they will have a sense of power to overcome it be healed.  

  My first choice of specialization was life coaching, but I realized that working place need more caring. That is why I switched to I/O psychology. I have witnessed many people being unhappy at their workplace, many men killing themselves from stress over work. I feel like I am willing to hear those stress, or anything relating to job. 

References

Sheldon, K. M., & King, L. (2001). Why positive psychology is necessary.  American psychologist,  56(3), 216.   

Sonia G. Austrian. (2008).  Developmental Theories Through the Life Cycle: Vol. 2nd ed. Columbia University Press. 

Using Design Thinking to Craft Your Career: An Introduction. (n.d.). The Bamboo Project.  https://www.michelemmartin.com/thebambooprojectblog/2014/07/using-design-thinking-to-craft-your-career-an-introduction.html

2.3 Assignment: Grit

Getting Started

Are you aware of the concept of grit? Grit has been determined to be a non-cognitive trait that combines the ability to persevere with the passion to achieve a goal. Need for achievement, ambition, and resilience are also aspects related to grit. Researchers have been investigating the application of grit to support children’s growth, because it may be a better predictor of achievement than the intelligence quotient (IQ). Other researchers and scientists question the concept of grit, noting that motivation may be the strongest component of perseverance, and that motivation changes with context. You will explore the concept of grit and how it may be applicable in supporting children’s growth and development. Reflect, too, on how grit may be a factor in your own life.

Upon successful completion of this assignment, you will be able to:

· Explore the concept of grit, how it is developed or enhanced, how it relates to human development in diverse children, as well as how it relates to personal life.

Resources

· eBook:  Developmental Theories Through the Life Cycle

· Article: Father-Son Relationships in Ethnically Diverse Families: Links to Boys’ Cognitive and Social Emotional Development in Preschool

· Article: The Journey to Children’s Mindsets and Beyond

· Article: The Impact of Parenting on Emotion Regulation During Childhood and Adolescence

· Article: Developmental Milestones

· Video: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

· eBook:  The SAGE Handbook of Child Development, Multiculturalism, and Media (OPTIONAL)

Background Information

For this assignment, you are going to focus on how grit may be applied to children of diverse circumstances. Consider the complexities and critiques of grit: the components of grit that may already be encompassed in other personality traits or abilities, such as motivation. Also, there can be major hurdles for children living in low-income and poorly funded schools. Can grit really be a valuable factor in supporting their growth and development? You will also reflect on how grit is or is not applicable to your own life.

Instructions

1. Review the rubric to make sure you understand the criteria for earning your grade.

2. View the following video:

a. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance  (6:12 min). You can also read the  Grit the Power of Passion and Perseverance: Transcript .

3. Review the following, as needed:

a. Father-Son Relationships in Ethnically Diverse Families: Links to Boys’ Cognitive and Social Emotional Development in Preschool

b. The Journey to Children’s Mindsets and Beyond

c. The Impact of Parenting on Emotion Regulation During Childhood and Adolescence

d. Developmental Milestones

e. In the eBook,  Developmental Theories Through the Life Cycle , Chapter 3, pages 113–123

4. Optionally, review  The SAGE Handbook of Child Development, Multiculturalism, and Media .

5. Write a paper addressing the following prompts with clear citations/evidence from sources to back up your claims:

a. Where does grit fit in the developmental life cycle? Why?

b. How does grit develop?

c. How can grit be enhanced in children from diverse backgrounds (for example, consider race, ethnicity, and economic status among others)?

d. Should grit be embraced by those who work with diverse children? Why or why not?

e. Integrate stages of development and theorists by noting where in the developmental stages grit might be developed and enhanced, as well as which theorist(s) would be likely to promote grit as a developmental concept.

f. How would you integrate design thinking to the concept of enhancing or developing grit for both yourself, as well as for a child?

g. How is grit relevant to your life?

6. Ensure your claims and statements are supported by appropriate references, is a minimum of two pages long, and follows all APA formatting requirements including a references list.

7. Your paper should be a minimum of two to three pages long.

2.5 Assignment: Odyssey Plan

Getting Started

As part of this course, you will work on your Odyssey Plan. You will be given tools and resources to help you understand what an Odyssey Plan is as well as how to create one. You may not know what you want to do for your career, or you may be ready for a career change (after all, that may be why you are in this master’s program). How can you narrow your options? How can you decide what your options might be? Is there something you may not even be aware of that would be the perfect career for you? You will get to explore these as well as other aspects of your goals while working on your Odyssey Plan. You will learn how others used an Odyssey Plan to craft a new direction in their lives, as well. Have fun with it! This is your odyssey, after all!

Upon successful completion of this assignment, you will be able to:

· Integrate basic design thinking processes and concepts related to capstone project and life development.

Resources

· Video: Designing Your Life

· Article: An Exercise Stanford Professors Developed to Map Out How Your Life Will Unfold Removes the Agony from Major Decisions: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/exercise-stanford-professors-developed-map-133700522.html

· Article: Using Design Thinking to Create Your Career: An Introduction

· Article: How I Used Design Thinking to Reinvent My Career

· Website: Authentic happiness:  https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter

· File: Odyssey Plan Worksheet (in the  Shared Documents  module)

Background Information

As you read in Workshop One, you are to work on your Odyssey Plan, a three-part five-year projection of what you might do with your life. You will submit a draft of your plan in this workshop. Your instructor will review it and provide insights or suggestions for ideas for you to consider; use your instructor’s comments when working on your final Odyssey Plan that you will submit in Workshop Six.

Instructions

1. Review the rubric to make sure you understand the criteria for earning your grade.

2. As you prepare to draft your Odyssey Plan, review the following:

a. Video:  Designing Your Life  (3:17 min). You can also read the  Designing Your Life: Transcript

b. Article:  An Exercise Stanford Professors Developed to Map Out How Your Life Will Unfold Removes the Agony from Major Decisions

c. Article:  Using Design Thinking to Create Your Career: An Introduction

d. Article:  How I Used Design Thinking to Reinvent My Career

3. Complete three inventories on the Authentic Happiness website: Satisfaction with Life Scale, Approaches to Happiness, and Meaning in Life Questionnaire. These will help you identify the kinds of activities that are meaningful to you and how you might increase meaning in life. You will also take these tests at various points in this program to evaluate your own progress.

a. Go to  Authentic Happiness.

b. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and look for Meaning in Life Questionnaire. Click on link to the right that says, Take Test. You will have to create a login profile to complete the inventory.

i. Satisfaction with Life Scale

ii. Approaches to Happiness

iii. Meaning in Life Questionnaire

c. Click on links to the far right that says, Take Test. You will have to create a login profile to complete the inventories. Record your login as you will need it for future courses.

d. When you’ve finished completing the inventories, copy and paste your test results with the descriptions onto a Word document and post them in the Dropbox along with your Odyssey Plan below.

4. Using the  Odyssey Plan Worksheet , draft your Odyssey Plan for your instructor to review and provide suggestions. The following includes the minimum content for your Odyssey Plan draft:

a. It should contain three different five-year plans:

i. Your current life continuing pretty much as it is

ii. Your plan if your current trajectory was suddenly wiped out

iii. Your plan that may seem crazy to others (and even to you!) but if neither money nor image was a concern, that is what you might want to do with your life

b. It should contain the following:

i. A title of each plan

ii. A rank of each plan

iii. Questions you have

iv. Resources you need (at least two for the draft)

v. How much confidence you have in each plan

vi. How coherent each plan is

5. You may not have all your resources or coherent plans, yet, in this draft, but you should think through all of the aspects of each of the three plans on the Worksheet. Your instructor will review your draft and provide suggestions. You will have the opportunity to revise, add more detail and submit your final Odyssey Plan in Workshop Six.

INSTRUCTIONS: Respond to the two discussions below.

2.1 Discussion Joy

I was once in relationship with someone whom I considered to be my best friend, and someone I leaned heavily on for emotional support, especially when my marriage was in a bad place.  She relied on me in a similar but different way, as she was very unhappy about the fact that she was in her mid 30s, hated her career, and did not have a marriage and children of her own. She spent almost all her time with me and my family. In some ways, she played the role of my spouse (because my marriage to my own spouse was suffering) and a second mother, or aunt) to my children. 

What I came to realize in this relationship (through therapy, praying, and reading the book,  Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend) is that she and I had formed a bond out of mutual codependency with one another that was seemingly serving both of us in our moments of crisis or need; but, the dynamic was not helping either of us take hard looks at ourselves and our lives to realize how each of us were the main components to our own unhappiness. The more therapy and praying for discernment that I did, the more I realized that I was being called to establish some firm boundaries with this friend so that I could focus on taking accountability for the things in my own life that weren’t going well, as opposed to inviting her into every part of my life so I could fill the voids of my own discontentment and actively avoid dealing with my issues.   

I responded to this nudging from the Holy Spirit through surrender. For so long I felt in my heart that the dynamics of this relationship were unhealthy – even though the interactions oftentimes felt good for fleeting moments (likely because I didn’t have to think of the difficulties of my circumstances and if I did, I could just complain about them, which also felt good). I was also very much a people pleaser and conflict terrified me because at the root I didn’t want to be abandoned by the person with whom I was in relationship, nor did I want to hurt or upset the other person – codependent much? Lol. I knew the Holy Spirit was nudging me to address this situation with her one-on-one. I initiated some hard conversations with her (which made me sick to my stomach with anxiety), in attempts to establish boundaries of time and space with her and to start a new dynamic in our friendship. 

These conversations did not always go the way in which I hoped they would and ultimately, after multiple conversations and the passing of time, she and I are no longer acquainted. Through surrender, however, I stopped holding so tightly to the outcome of our relationship and all the ways I needed to do this or that to make sure that the relationship stayed intact. Surrendering helped me realize that by doing so, I could trust God to be in control of the outcome if I stayed in my integrity and was coming from a place of love in my interactions with her. I didn’t have to control and manage what happened to our relationship; I simply had to control what I could control, and she’d have to do the same (and her part was not my responsibility). For so long I was afraid of losing her, but I realized that by behaving the way I was in relationship with her, I was behaving out of fear and not love, nor was I honoring my own heart, peace, and precious energy or the health of my relationship with her. I’d always thought boundaries were mean and heartless, when in fact, they can be the most honoring act of love. I needed to change my own behavior in relationship with her so I could honor me, her, and us. “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing” (Cloud & Townsend, 2017).  

I could have continued operating from fear and conforming to the status quo of our relationship, but that would have snowballed our already unhealthy dynamic and I could see the freight train lights coming through the tunnel. So, I had to make the change. My actions were further substantiated through the words of the Apostle Paul in God’s Word, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (ESV, 2008, Romans 12:2).

References

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. S. (2017).  Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.

Bible gateway passage: John 14:6, Luke 12:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, - English standard version. Bible Gateway. (2016). https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14%3A6&version=ESV

2.2 Discussion Cing

  "Harvard University Psychiatrist Robert Coles has noted that adolescence has commanded more attention than any other period of life from, novelists, social scientists, and journalist. Oxford English Dictionary defines adolescence as the process or condition of growing up, the period between childhood and maturity. (Austrian, 2008, p. 133).  During this period, individuals are experiencing a lot of changes. They change physically, socially, and mentally. The problem is in they are confused everything, so if there is no proper guidance withing the transition, they might lose themselves. This is why it is important to use positive psychology in guiding and raising adolescences.

  Sheldon & King states, "Positive Psychology is nothing more than the scientific study of ordinary human's strength and virtues. Positive psychology revisits the average person with an interest in finding out what works, what is right and what is improving" (2001). I believe when transitioning from childhood to adolescence, we often forget that adolescence is in search of identity and strength. With positive psychology, not only we can guide them positive thinking, but it can also help built up gratitude as they observe their surrounding positively. They just need someone who can understand, who allowed them to talk through their new experiences and most importantly they need someone who can guide them. 

  I understand that positive psychology is all about being grateful, having positive mindset. But I feel like positive psychology might not work in applying to traumatic kids. I say kids because, if during childhood a trauma is not heal, it will likely continue even in adolescence. If a child grew up in an abusive environment, there is no way that child can accept the idea of positive outlook. Adolescence with unhealed traumas should be taught about design thinking instead of positive psychology. "Design thinking is about believing we can make a difference and having an intentional process in order to get to new, relevant solutions that create positive impact" ( Using Design Thinking to Craft Your Career: An Introduction, n.d.). Design thinking not only will teach them about how to be positive, but also give a sense of control over their trauma. Once they feel a sense of control over their trauma, they will have a sense of power to overcome it be healed.  

  My first choice of specialization was life coaching, but I realized that working place need more caring. That is why I switched to I/O psychology. I have witnessed many people being unhappy at their workplace, many men killing themselves from stress over work. I feel like I am willing to hear those stress, or anything relating to job. 

References

Sheldon, K. M., & King, L. (2001). Why positive psychology is necessary.  American psychologist,  56(3), 216.   

Sonia G. Austrian. (2008).  Developmental Theories Through the Life Cycle: Vol. 2nd ed. Columbia University Press. 

Using Design Thinking to Craft Your Career: An Introduction. (n.d.). The Bamboo Project.  https://www.michelemmartin.com/thebambooprojectblog/2014/07/using-design-thinking-to-craft-your-career-an-introduction.html