final draft for this poem please make it better

  

Free-Verse Poem

As I lugged the coffin in which my deceased father lay struggling to walk, staggering as I took one step followed by another from its weight. The load was beyond me, and it slowed down my pace. 

I carefully and steadily brought myself to the ground, laid the coffin to the ground and raised the coffin lid. Without any hesitation I whispered to my father, telling him I was sorry I could not carry him anymore. And wondered if he could maybe walk on his own.

It took him some time to open his eyes. He wore a long white shirt and sandals. He looked at me took a deep breath and shook his head, disappointed by my face as usual. He sat up and got out of the coffin and walked ahead. I followed, saying nothing as I walked behind him. 

We left the coffin back, in the middle of no where.

We approached his grave, which had already been dug out. Without saying a word, he got in it, settled and lay on his left, then turned to his right.

He wanted to face east toward Mecca maybe towards his god, luckily, he never asked which way it was.

He gently shut his eyes and I began to cover him up. 

Closed-Form Poem

Life is full of unexpected situations

We can always be surprised regardless of the reputations 

No matter how hard we might try to micro-manage

But not all surprises are bad

Some give you a feeling that is far from mad

Or even sad

Some may be delightful

You might think a significant event has been forgotten

Then your significant other proves that wrong and spoils and spoils you rotten

I like surprises but then again, I do not

Mixed feelings like when you can’t decide if you want to be behind or in front

Of a line serving a delicious treat

The front of the line you will be the first to eat

But then again you will be the first to finish

And have to watch others enjoy their treat while yours is diminished

Back to life and all its complexities

A question we all wonder is whether there are other entities

In planets and other galaxies

In the furthest reaches of our universe

Having the same questions that we discuss

Could we really be the only beings in existence

Surely this does not sound consistent

With what we know so far

Do these other being drive cars

Might they have fur

How do they communicate

In my head, so many questions resonate.