Balance

Balancing Confidentiality and Safety: My Experience Working with Domestic Violence

Survivors

Balancing Confidentiality and Safety: My Experience Working with Domestic Violence

Survivors

Introduction

As a Victim Advocate for survivors of domestic violence, I’ve had to face some of the hardest

situations where safety and trust can collide. One of the most difficult parts of my job is when a

client shares something that could put them in danger, but they beg me not to tell anyone. This

paper talks about how I would handle a situation like that, using a case example of Maria, a

domestic violence survivor. It also shares my personal values, the values of social work, and how

I use Reamer’s Ethical Principles Screen to help guide decisions that are both safe and ethical.

The question that guides this paper is simple but heavy: how can social workers respect

confidentiality while also protecting clients from serious harm? My answer is that we can find a

balance by following the NASW Code of Ethics, thinking carefully through our decisions, and

working with supervisors and other professionals. I’ve learned that doing the right thing is not

about perfection, but about care, reflection, and honesty.

Personal Values

My personal values are respect, honesty, and compassion. I truly believe people should have a

voice in what happens in their lives, even in crisis. But when you work with survivors of

domestic violence, things get complicated fast. There have been times when I sat with a client

who told me something scary, and my heart wanted to protect them right away. At the same time,

I knew I had to respect their choices and build trust first. In one case, a client told me her partner

had a gun but didn’t want me to tell the police. I remember feeling torn. I didn’t want her to lose

faith in me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her safety.

Being an advocate taught me that helping someone doesn’t always mean taking control—it

means standing beside them. Sometimes people aren’t ready to leave, and forcing them can make

things worse. So instead of trying to ‘save’ them, I’ve learned to listen, plan, and offer options.

Respecting someone’s pace is also a form of protection.

Professional Values

The NASW Code of Ethics talks about six main values: service, social justice, dignity and worth

of the person, importance of human relationships, integrity, and competence. These values guide

how we work with clients and how we make hard decisions. According to the NASW Code, our

first duty is to our clients, but we also have to act when someone faces serious danger.

As Segal, Gerdes, and Steiner (2019) wrote, “Social workers are committed to promoting social

justice and the dignity and worth of every person, even when facing complex ethical dilemmas”

(p. 42). I think about this quote a lot in my work. It reminds me that even when the situation is

complicated, the goal is always to protect life and dignity. Integrity means being honest with

clients about what I can and can’t keep confidential. Competence means being prepared—

knowing risk assessments, local laws, and resources for survivors.

Case Example

Maria is a 32-year-old mother of two. She came to a social worker after years of emotional and

physical abuse. She said her partner had threatened to kill her if she ever left. Maria begged the

social worker not to tell anyone because she was scared things would get worse if he found out.

This is the kind of situation that breaks your heart and tests your values.

I’ve worked with survivors like Maria. Many don’t call the police because they fear losing

housing, their children, or support from family. Others just aren’t ready to leave. When I safety

plan with clients, we focus on things they can control: code words with friends, keeping

important papers in a safe place, or knowing where they can go if they need to run. Those small

steps can save lives. But Maria’s case raises a big question—when does keeping a secret become

too dangerous?

Ethical Decision-Making with Reamer’s Ethical Principles Screen

Reamer’s Ethical Principles Screen helps social workers work through tough choices step by

step. Instead of reacting with fear or emotion, we slow down and think. Here’s how I’d use it for

Maria’s situation:

1. Identify the main problem. The dilemma is between confidentiality and safety.

2. Think about personal and professional values. My value of respect tells me to honor her

wishes. My value of safety—and the NASW’s value of service—tell me to protect her.

3. Look at the NASW Code of Ethics. It says we must protect privacy, but we can share

information if needed to prevent serious harm.

4. Consider the law and agency policy. If kids are at risk, there may be a legal duty to report.

Agency policy may also require talking to a supervisor.

5. Explore options and consequences. I could keep things private and continue safety planning,

or make a limited report if I believe her life is in immediate danger. Both choices carry risks.

6. Decide and act. I’d talk with my supervisor, assess risk, and tell Maria what I plan to do.

Being honest and respectful can help her feel less betrayed.

7. Reflect and document. I’d write down what happened, what I considered, and why I chose the

action I did.

Segal et al. (2019) said, “Social workers must often navigate the tension between respecting

client self-determination and ensuring safety, particularly in high-risk situations such as domestic

violence” (p. 210). That describes this case perfectly.

Reflection

Thinking about Maria’s story makes me remember many clients I’ve worked with. There’s never

an easy answer. I’ve felt the weight of wanting to keep someone safe while knowing that

breaking confidentiality could hurt our trust. Supervision has helped me so much in those

moments. Talking things out helps me stay calm and ethical instead of acting from panic.

Segal et al. (2019) said, “Ethical decision-making requires thoughtful consideration of personal

values, professional standards, and the context of the client system” (p. 215). That quote reminds

me to slow down and think about the full picture. Being reflective doesn’t mean I have all the

answers—it means I care enough to think things through. I’ve learned that real social work

happens in that gray area between rules and compassion.

Recognizing My Limits and Biases

I know I have biases that I need to check. Sometimes, my own fear for a client makes me want to

act fast, but that can make things worse. I also know that not all survivors have the same options.

Some don’t speak English, some fear deportation, and some can’t afford to leave. Understanding

how race, gender, and money affect safety helps me plan better with clients. Ethics isn’t one-

size-fits-all—it’s about seeing the whole person and their world.

Conclusion

Working with domestic violence survivors is never simple. Every decision feels personal and

heavy because lives are at stake. Balancing confidentiality and safety takes empathy, patience,

and clear thinking. Using Reamer’s Ethical Principles Screen and following the NASW Code of

Ethics helps me stay grounded. My experience as a Victim Advocate taught me that trust is

important, but safety always comes first. In the end, good social work means being human—

kind, careful, and willing to face hard choices with heart.

References

Congress, E. P. (1999). Social work values and ethics: Identifying and resolving professional

dilemmas. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

National Association of Social Workers. (2021). Code of Ethics of the National Association of

Social Workers. Washington, DC: NASW Press.

Reamer, F. G. (2018). Ethical standards in social work: A review of the NASW Code of Ethics.

Washington, DC: NASW Press.

Segal, E., Gerdes, K., & Steiner, S. (2019). An Introduction to the Profession of Social Work

(6th ed.). Cengage.

Smith, J. A., & Thompson, L. (2017). Ethical dilemmas in domestic violence social work

practice. Journal of Social Work, 17(3), 245–260.