assitant needed s Kenniqua

profileoceanqueen

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  • 3 months ago
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feedbackthatneedstobecorrect.docx

Feedback from my outline that need to be correct

Some of your phrasing is unclear or awkward for spoken delivery. Revise your sentences to be more conversational so your argument is easier for your audience to follow.

Right now you name sources, but don’t use them fully. "FIFA Women’s World Cup… attracted high records of viewing." How many viewers? Compared to what? Your points need concrete data and specific numbers.

Your first point about skill and dedication is valid, but could be more persuasive ...focus on professional standards/expectations instead of general statements about ability.