This discussion had me think back about a friend I helped years ago
that was having problems with her marriage and having recently had a
baby. This was a couple that were high school sweethearts and
married after high school, her spouse joined the air force and then
was stationed in Minot, ND. after basic training. a It all started out like
it should until her husband began to have bizarre behaviors. For one,
he met a fellow enlisted man who was completely untrusting and
fishing from the moment I met him, but stood out to be " such a nice
guy". My friend's husband was working part-time at the NCO (Non-
Commissioned Officers) club and this is usually a place of meeting
lots of single women, military or civilian. My friend's husband began
cheating and was spending his time away from home staying out all
night and coming home in the AM. His excuse was a secret club he
has with his friends where secret jobs and it is a blur to me right now
but I do remember it was hogwash. They would try to play it out as
something so serious and it was so phony I almost laughed at them.
Her husband was cheating and it was just a get-together after hours
to drink and play. I did my best to tell her he was lying big time to her
but she was so gullible to believe him until I finally told her it was his
way to see his girlfriend. I tried to get her to think about it and realize
this "secret club" was not real. So to show her what was going on we
did our spying and followed them from the club to the trailer the one
so-called friend lived in and she saw the proof. When my friend
approached her husband he had two choices, to either come home or
never see her or his son again. He never came home and this was her
heartbreak to believe the dishonesty of her life and marriage.
Only three things came to light of this after dealing with this for about
a year.
1. Do you want to try and save your marriage or accept the fact he
is not coming back?
2. Leave on the next plane to her childhood home to stay with her
parents?
3. How much time do you need to figure this out?
She decided to leave as soon as possible. She knew it was not going
to change. The enlisted military wife is never a day of roses. Most
suffer marital problems and this was dated back to 1976, not the best
of times, and no war or fighting going on so a lot of military guys went
out drinking and partying at the club if, under 21, the NCO club was
the place to go, on military bases you only need to be 18. a \
My husband and I bought her a plane ticket for her and sent her and
her son home to Wisconsin and promised her we would pack up her
things from the house and move it down to them in about a month. I
suppose the military would have helped but we didn't think about
that. It had to go in storage first and that had to be done right away.
Her husband, well when she left her soon-to-be ex-husband, he
decided to take the king-size bed and his things so he could have his
tidy little place furnished. a The husband has not seen his son since he
was 1 year old but he has been married six times. My friend, got a job
at the local hospital working as a phone receptionist and stayed for
forty years. She did remarry, had one more son and truly lived her
happily ever after. Her father has thanked me more than you can say
for saving his daughter and my friend thanked me as well for helping
her have a happier life in the end. I now live closer to her and have not
been able to see her, but I do plan on it very soon.
