When helping people my approaches vary from situation to situation.
When I have a friend asking for help, I know they need someone
there for them. At the very least, I try to be that person. I am at the
stage in my life where I have very few friends but we are very close
and trust each other with everything. However, we are not mind
readers. When my friends ask me for help I first assess what kind of
help they need. Do they need someone to listen, someone to give
advice to, someone to support new ideas? There are many different
types of ways to help friends. It is most important to understand what
is being asked of you and work as a guide to help a friend see an
outcome or solution. Some situations do not always require solutions
and just need listening ears. It is important no matter who you are
helping that you pay attention and listen to what someone is saying. I
had a friend who was suspicious of her boyfriend who flew to Florida
for a business trip. At first when we began talking, I asked her, do you
want me to look into what he's doing or the other people he could be
with. She originally said no and just wanted someone to talk to about
her frustration. Then she decided that if she was going to find out
more information she had to do it herself but needed my support and
did not want to be alone. During the entire process, I helped keep her
calm by explaining that there are several outcomes and many things
we can do if the situation turns bad. However, the entire time I kept
an open mind. My friend ended up researching and finding out that
her boyfriend was lying and took another girl on vacation. It was at
this point that my friend had all the information she needed and I
helped her stop looking deeper because she knew enough. I was
there to help not to watch her hurt herself even more as she kept
looking. Overall the situation was unfair to her. But I tried to keep an
open mind and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I tried to
influence her to not freak out or jump to conclusions. It is important
to stay calm and identify all plans of action. Overreacting,
overthinking, and acting irrationally can all lead to even more
problems. Sometimes all we need is someone there to support us and
calm us down. Most problems deal with the same types of solutions
when trying to help:
1. Listen
2. Understand how a person thinks, feels, or acts
3. Discover the person's strengths and assets
4. Create a plan or guide
(Woodside, 2018)
Resources:
Woodside, Marianne, R. and Tricia McClam.
An Introduction to
Human Services
. Available from: MBS Direct, (9th Edition). Cengage
Learning US, 2018.
