As I reflect on a time, I helped a friend or family member I think about a time my friend was
struggling with mental health. He had everything hitting him at one time between his relationship, and
family issues with his dad. I felt like first it was important to make sure we were in an area he felt safe
and able to vent about how he felt. Secondly, I made sure it was about him. Active listening is
extremely important when having to help who is going through mental health issues. I started by
separating the problems he was facing into sections and creating how I would go through each one
delicately. First, when he proceeded to tell me about his relationship I asked him what happened
specifically and he said an argument broke out about him asking her to see the phone as he had
suspicions she was cheating. I asked him when did he first have the thoughts it was happening and I
asked if he ever had the time to sit down and talk about it with her. I told him that it can be
uncomfortable at times, but its important to let it out so you don't have built up emotions on the
problem. I told him his feelings are valid and through talking we transitioned to his dad. His dad and
him always had a rocky relationship and he was being really hard on him with expectations of college
and what he wanted him to do. He was talking about how his dad had plans for him to take over his
company one day in Texas (which we lived in Virginia). He loved the area and where he lived and
wanted to be a Spanish teacher instead. His dad didn't approve and I listened as he continued his story.
I let him know you have to do what makes you happy and your dad will come around.
A time I helped a friend was my senior year of high school when she was going through something so
major in her life and I could tell she was stressed about it all day at school but she would not talk to me
about it. Finally, when we got home from school and up to my room, we sat on the bed and thats when
she broke down and started opening up to me. This is where I think setting is important, like the
textbook describes, when theres a desk it may feel like authority over the other person or like a barrier,
they need to be comfortable in order to be willing to share. (Woodside, 2018) In addition to that, I
made sure to just sit and listen, maintain eye contact and try to truly understand her point of view and
what she needed from me in this situation. As I said, we were seniors in high school and she had just
found out she's pregnant. Though I could not directly understand her problem, she needed someone
there for her and she needed someone to talk to about it. Her parents are very religious, so she knew
they would want her to marry the man, and that is not something she was ready for. Therefore, it was
important for me to understand her cultural and religious perspectives to give the best advice I
possibly could in this situation. Though I did not take notes like chapter 7 talks about, I was able to
make the setting comfortable, I was able to help her explore the options of how to tell her parents -
finding a solution, and I was able to calm her down.
One time when my cousin was 18 years old, he was living in the Richmond, VA area, and started to go
crazy saying he was going to kill his mom and said he wanted to go live with his dad (his parents are
divorced); shortly after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He ran away from home, and ended up
on a bus from Richmond to Philadelphia, PA. Once he arrived in Philly, he made it to a homeless
shelter and gave me a call to let me know what happened and where he was. I urged him he needed to
seek the proper treatment and see someone to help with the thoughts he was having. After living at the
homeless shelter in Philly for almost 1 year, he eventually moved back home to the Richmond area.
Once he returned home, he took my advice and went to counseling and even started on a medication
regimen. Now, he is living with his mom again and has a steady job.
This situation is similar in a few ways to the Helping Process by way of listening to my cousin when
he needed to talk (and when he ran away) and also by offering advice. It is also similar to the process
by offering intervention strategies such as seeking treatment and counseling services to help with the
schizophrenia. Lastly, it is similar by ending the client services/termination.
Describe a time when you helped a friend or family member.
Recently I had a friend approach me with a problem. He told me that a friend of his is dealing with
addiction and that it's affecting his family, job, and his overall life. My friend understands that I'm in
recovery and have been for the past three years and that I've been through counselling and been to peer
specialist training/course and that I'm going to school to become a counsellor. My friend asked me
about some advice that I can give him so that he can help his friend. First, we recognized the problem
which is affecting this individual. Second, we discussed some of his problems to the best of my
friend's knowledge addiction has affected his life. Third, I discussed some of the resources I use such
as High-Country Behavioural health and gave him the phone number to the office. The problems that
we both identified are:
1- Addiction to alcohol and some drugs.
2- The addiction is affecting this individual's overall life.
3- The individual understands that his entire life is being negatively affected by his addiction to
alcohol and some drugs.
Understanding that my friend's friend is suffering through addiction and that it's been a problem for
quite some time. Wanting to help my friend with this I began to explain the resources that I know will
help him. I mentioned High Country Behavioural Health the agency that I'm associated with. I
mentioned AA and NA meetings and provided the times and places that these meetings take place in
the community. I mentioned High-Country Behavioural Health and gave him the direct number to
their office.
Describe how your process of understanding the problem and offering assistance compared to the
different phases of the helping process described in chapter 7 in the textbook.
In our text it explains that "The helping process occurs in both formal and informal settings"
(Woodside, McClam, 2019, p.158). Understanding that helping can be both formal and informal. In
this situation is more informal and not having some of the tools mentioned in the text. I went on my
past experiences and some observational learning and some tools I have learned in peer specialist
training. Using motivational interviewing trying to get some of the main issues by asking questions,
trying to relate and get to the point of the issue and recognizing that these individual needs help.
Stages in the helping process.
1- Preparation
2-The Client Arrives
3-Exploring the problem
4-Intervention Strategies
5-Ending client services
Since I am trying to help my friend in a more informal setting, I ask about how his friend is doing and
try to help every way that I can. I know that helping individuals in an agency or professional
atmosphere is more structured in the helping process but identifying the process I have a better
understanding of how I can help direct my friend's friend in receiving the help that he needs.
When helping people my approaches vary from situation to situation. When I have a friend asking for
help, I know they need someone there for them. At the very least, I try to be that person. I am at the
stage in my life where I have very few friends but we are very close and trust each other with
everything. However, we are not mind readers. When my friends ask me for help I first assess what
kind of help they need. Do they need someone to listen, someone to give advice to, someone to
support new ideas? There are many different types of ways to help friends. It is most important to
understand what is being asked of you and work as a guide to help a friend see an outcome or solution.
Some situations do not always require solutions and just need listening ears. It is important no matter
who you are helping that you pay attention and listen to what someone is saying. I had a friend who
was suspicious of her boyfriend who flew to Florida for a business trip. At first when we began
talking, I asked her, do you want me to investigate what he's doing or the other people he could be
with. She originally said no and just wanted someone to talk to about her frustration. Then she decided
that if she was going to find out more information, she had to do it herself but needed my support and
did not want to be alone. During the entire process, I helped keep her calm by explaining that there are
several outcomes and many things we can do if the situation turns bad. However, the entire time I kept
an open mind. My friend ended up researching and finding out that her boyfriend was lying and took
another girl on vacation. It was at this point that my friend had all the information she needed and I
helped her stop looking deeper because she knew enough. I was there to help not to watch her hurt
herself even more as she kept looking. Overall the situation was unfair to her. But I tried to keep an
open mind and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I tried to influence her to not freak out or jump
to conclusions. It is important to stay calm and identify all plans of action. Overreacting, overthinking,
and acting irrationally can all lead to even more problems. Sometimes all we need is someone there to
support us and calm us down. Most problems deal with the same types of solutions when trying to
help:
1. Listen
2. Understand how a person thinks, feels, or acts
3. Discover the person's strengths and assets
4. Create a plan or guide
(Woodside, 2018)
Resources:
Woodside, Marianne, R. and Tricia McClam. An Introduction to Human Services. Available from:
MBS Direct, (9th Edition). Cengage Learning US, 2018.
Woodside, M., & McClam, T., (2019). An Introduction to Human Services. (9th. ed.). Cengage.
Woodside, M. R., & McClam, T. (2018). An Introduction to Human Services (9th ed.). Cengage
Learning US. https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/9781337671262
