Whenever I have a friend who comes to me with a problem or is just
feeling uneasy, I ask them if they want advice or just want me to
listen. In the past, I immediately jumped to giving advice/ relating to
their issues because that was the only way I knew how to help. As of
the last two years, I have taken a different approach. I am usually the
friend that people come to for advice or just to vent so I eventually
learned that not everybody wants the same advice or outcome. I
started asking them if they would prefer advice or would like me to
listen. In one situation in particular a friend was venting and I asked
her if she wanted advice or if she would like me to just listen. She
then proceeded to tell me that she would just like me to listen. In this
situation, it is important to allow them to vent and not feel like you
are trying to fix their situation. They just want you to be able to sit
there with them and be like "you know what this situation you are in
does suck and I hate that for you" versus immediately giving them
advice or adding your own situation. I would say that my method
follows some of the helping processes discussed in the textbook. I do
a good job of assessing the situation so that my friends know that
they can trust me.
One time that I helped a friend was the son of one of my neighbors who was
kicked out of the family’s home and left to fend for himself. I could tell that he
needed help and someone to talk to that he trusted. Shortly after he was
evicted, I invited him over to my home, sat in my kitchen, ate, and that is when
he started opening up to me. As he was talking, I made sure to listen closely
and maintain eye contact in order to understand what help he needed from me.
It turns out the reason he was kicked out of his family’s home was because he
became addicted to heroin. Even though I never suffered from drug addiction,
I had previous experience helping relatives of mine with the same kind of
problem, so I knew that he needed someone who would listen and talk with
him about his problem.
From the helping process outlined in Chapter 7, similarities I found between
what I did and the process were that I was able to provide a comfortable
setting for him and help him explore options of getting the support he needed
to solve his problem. What I did was also similar to the step of exploring the
problem as my neighbor discussed the problem he was going through and
touched upon some of the root causes of it such as hanging around the wrong
crowd as well as psychological reasons. Having relatives that also suffered
from drug addiction and helping them, I was already familiar with some of the
programs or agencies my neighbor could approach for help. So, in a way, it
7
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felt like I was referring him to more qualified professionals which mirrors the
final step of ending client services.
