by
Nathan
Landheer April
9, 2022
YOUT 350-D01
Campus Ministry
“You Lost Me Book Summary”
LIBERTY UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
Submitted to Dr. Vandegriff
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
Introduction
Christianity in America is faced with a pressing problem of an increasing number young
people leaving church and less of them returning to church as they grow older. In other words,
the American church is on the brink of losing a generation. David Kinnaman, along with his team
at Bara Research, studied this problem and published the book You Lost Me as a summary of
their findings.
Summary
As the subtitle of the book suggests, the purpose of the book is to answer the question of
the reasoning behind the exodus of young Christians from church. Kinnaman writes, “millions of
young adults leave active involvement in church as they exit their teen years. Some never return,
while others live indefinitely at the margins of the faith community, attempting to define their
own spirituality.”1 Kinnaman points the reasoning to this not to young people’s faith in Christ,
but to the gaps in discipleship making as the main reason for the exit of young people from the
Church. The church, in the author’s opinion, is not preparing the next generation to live for
Christ in their culture.
In the middle portion of his book, Kinnaman summarizes the reasons behind the
disconnection into 6 categories: Overprotective, Shallow, Antiscience, Repressive, Exclusive,
and Doubtless. Each of the listed have a profound impact on the discipleship process.
The book is concluded with a collection of ideas that Kinnaman has learned himself over
the study, along with ideas from others. He lists his 3 main discoveries as, “(1) the church needs
to reconsider how we make disciples; (2) we need to rediscover Christian calling and vocation;
and (3) we need to reprioritize wisdom over information as we seek to know God.”2
1 David Kinnaman, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church ... and Rethinking Faith, 2012. 2
Ibid.
1
Personal Response
In reading through this book, I found myself both excited with the realization of the facts,
but also increasingly sad with the reality that it presented. I personally appreciated the way that
the book was written with a continuous touch of stories, names, and connection to those who
formed the content.
The most powerful point of this book was the connection that I saw between 6 categories
of disconnection and the gap of discipleship. It was easy to see how shallowness would deter
from the relationship needed for discipleship. It was understandable an exclusive perception
would lead to young people not wanting to try and be included. I could go on for each of the 6,
but I will summarize that the core of this book was deeply moving for me, and equal parts
convicting of my own discipleship.
I was cautious when I first discovered that this book would be centered on discipleship. I think
that the last thing this next generation needs is another “program” or “step-by-step” guide to
discipleship. However, Kinnaman addressed this early on in the book. He said, “Some (though
not all) ministries have taken cues from the assembly line, doing everything possible to
streamline the manufacture of shiny new Jesus-followers, fresh from the factory floor. But
disciples cannot be mass-produced. Disciples are handmade, one relationship at a time.”3 I
completely and deeply agree with this. Jesus worked in small groups to build his disciples who
would build the church. We should do the same.
Conclusion
It’s a common understanding that in order to find a lasting solution to a problem, you
have to understand the reason for the problem in the first place. To understand that the reason
behind the losing of this generation is based on the depth of relational discipleship can now
3 Ibid.
2
3
Bibliography
inform the way the Church reacts. It’s vitally important for the Church to understand culture and
adapt to the way it changes around them. The Word reminds us to “not conform to the pattern of
this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2, NIV). In the same
way the Church should not become swayed because of the culture but understand culture in
order to retain and transforms the lives of those inside of the culture.
4
Kinnaman, David. You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church ... and Rethinking
Faith, 2012.
