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Research Paper -- Adultery, Is It The Road To Divorce?
Presented to
Lisa Rasberry – Adjunct Instructor
For
THEO 330 – Theology of the Family
By
Carlinda Rashid
L03511260
December 10, 2018
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Research Paper -- Adultery, Is It The Road To Divorce?
Introduction
Adultery a word that defiles the sanctity of the institution of marriage. This word is
defined according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “voluntary sexual intercourse between a
married person and someone other than that person’s current spouse or partner.”1 The sin of
adultery began after the fall of man once the earth was populated with people due to man’s
distorted and marred nature. The institution of marriage was created by God Almighty in the
Garden of Eden in Genesis 2:22-24 which states “Then the LORD God made a woman from the
rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. “This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a
man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”2 The
original design for marriage was also marred and distorted by the fall of man due to sin. And the
evidence of sin is seen daily from homosexuality, same-sex marriages, religious cults that
practice polygamy, sex trafficking and in many other areas.
The question to be answered for this paper is adultery the road to divorce or is there
another solution to this serious problem? Three views will be addressed in this paper: First, what
is God’s design for marriage? Second view, what does the Bible state about adultery? And, a
third view is adultery the road to divorce or can the marriage be saved?
First view: What is God’s design for marriage?
Marriage an institution created by God that began in the Garden of Eden, between a man
and a woman. Theologian Martin Luther broke with the Catholic church over the topic of
1Https://www.merriam-webster.com “Adultery.” Accessed on 12/07/2018.
2Gen 2:22-24 NIV
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marriage. And he states, “Marriage is not a thing of nature but a gift of God, the sweetest, the
dearest, and the purest life above all celibacy and singleness, when it turns out well, the very
devil if it does not….”3 God’s design for marriage has only one dimension man and woman
making a covenant that last for a lifetime. This covenant did not include “same-sex marriages,
polygamy, couples living together before marriage or any other forms of life styles created by
man. “Marriage is an exclusive relationship. The total unity of persons—physically, emotionally,
intellectually, and spiritually—comprehended by the concept “one flesh” eliminates polygamy as
an option. One cannot relate wholeheartedly in this way to more than one person at a time.”4
Before the fall of man everything created by God was good and he blessed it. As God
created man in his “image and likeness he created them.”5 “The equality of men and women,
then, is the necessary foundation from which to deal with all gender-related issues. Even in
assigning Eve as Adam’s helper, God emphasizes her equality by designating her as ezer
kenegdo, a helper perfectly suited for Adam (Gen. 2:18). She is not his property or his doormat.
She is his equal and his complement.6 God’s design for marriage was distorted and marred by
sin which leads to subordination, fornication, adultery, divorce and all other types of immoral
sins. “In a fallen world this doctrine of subordination has been abused. It must not be seen as
means of giving divine sanction to abuse, either physical or emotional. Marriage is a gift from
3Randy Stinson and Timothy R. Jones. Eds. “The Home Is An Earthly Kingdom.” Trained in the Fear of
God. (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources), 2011.
4Walter Elwell. “Theology of Marriage.” Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Theology. Baker Book House
Company. 2009
5Gen 1:26 NIV
6 Randy Stinson and Timothy R. Jones. Eds. “The Home Is An Earthly Kingdom.” Trained in the Fear of
God. (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources), 2011.
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God. Its practices should be attended with the graces which reflect the character of God.”7
Originally, God’s first creative plan for marriage was for eternity, but sin change that initial
design. This union or covenant that is made before God and witness by men was designed to last
a lifetime. “Christian marriage thereby contains an element of divinity. This element comes
from without. It is a Gift, given to the marriage by its Creator for the purpose of satisfying the
function of marriage. Marriage then is a primary condition for completing our humanity, and
thereby our image Dei”8 or image of God.
Second view: What does the Bible state about adultery?
Adultery a fruit or product of sin that can cause the death of a marriage. When was
adultery first mentioned in the Bible? Adultery was first introduced in Exodus 20:14 which
states “Thou shall not commit adultery.”9 Due to the fruit of the sin, mankind the probably began
engaging in the act of adultery possibly after the children of Adam and Eve populated the earth.
Genesis 6:5 states “the wickedness of man had reached a level before God to the point he
regretted created man, judgment was issued by a flood, destroying all life except Noah, his
family and the animals aboard the ark.”10
The sins of mankind resurfaced again following the flood, but God chose Abraham and
his descendants as his people. He issued laws on tablets known as the Ten Commandments to
Moses, for the children of Israel. These laws were given as a guide to prevent his chosen people
7 Walter Elwell. “Theology of Marriage.” Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Theology. Baker Book House
Company. 2009
8Miguel A Endara. “Imaging God Through Marital Unity.” The Heythrop Journal pp.723-733, 2015. Accessed on
12/07/2018.
9Exo 20:14 KJV
10Gen 6:5 NIV
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from allowing sin to control and destroy their lives. These laws were kept for a period but other
laws had to be issued on the subject with severe punishment for those caught in the act of
adultery. “Leviticus chapter 20 in its entirety has laws against fornication and adultery with the
punishment of death for those who commit those sins.”11
In the New Testament adultery became a focal point for instruction by apostle Paul for
the new believers. The Christians believers currently living in the Roman Empire were exposed
to the Hellenistic influence and cultures of Rome. Those influences included being exposed to
Rome’s polytheistic religious practices in which they believed in all manner of sexual
perversions. So, Paul had to address those issues for the new Gentile believers in reference to
the practice of immorality. 1Corinthians 6:9 states: “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will
not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters
nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men.”12The Bible issued the same commands
regarding adultery, it is not to be condone. From the Old Testament to the New Testament
adultery is a fruit of sin as people of God we must “abstain from all appearance of evil.”13And
the reason all Christians must follow God’s command is due to: “The Bible makes it clear that
our heavenly Father wants good things for his children. With that assurance, we can be confident
that anytime he demands something of us, it is because of the promise of something better.”14 So,
11Lev 20:1-20
121Cor 6:9 NIV
131Thess 5:22 NIV
14Ryan Rush. Walls. (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources), 2011.
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can a marriage be saved after an encounter of adultery or does this sin leads to the roads of
divorce?
Third view: Is Adultery the road to divorce or can the marriage be saved?
Adultery, a sin that terminates a marriage according to the Bible. How does adultery
terminate a marriage in according to the Bible? Those individuals caught in act of adultery
according to Mosaic Law received the death penalty for their sins. Also, when married
individuals engaged in the act of adultery this severed and defiled the bonds of marriage. In
many cases this leads to divorce immediately. In the ancient world adultery mandated divorce.
“In both Greek and Roman law adultery mandated divorce. In Athens a husband could be
disenfranchised for continuing to live with an adulterous wife. The adulterer was to be executed.
In Rome adultery mandated divorce and the husband could retain some money from the
dowry.”15Ancient laws punished women more than the men for an adultery charge, which was a
death sentence for the accused. In Islamic countries this law is still practice for the charge of
adultery. What are the reasons why adultery lead to divorce? First, the breaking or violation of
the marriage bond. Second reason: “Adulterous behavior had the potential to disrupt households
through unwanted or ambiguously connected offspring.”16
Can a marriage be saved after adultery? Yes, but it will not be easy, because “the
marriage affected by adultery is in a sense dead and gone. The covenant has been broken and the
vows of fidelity were sacrificed. The one-flesh union has been violated by introducing a third
party into the most sacred aspect of marriage. Couples who do not accept that adultery has led to
the “death” of their marriage may be in for a rough road, because things cannot go back to the
15William R. G. Loader. “Did Adultery Mandate Divorce? A Reassessment of Jesus’ Divorce -Logia.” New
Testament Studies, no. 1 pp. 67-78 https://www.ezproxy.liberty.edu Accessed on 11/09/2018.
16Ibid, pg. 71
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way they were pre-adultery. The married couple are permanently changed as a result of the
adultery.”17 But, there is a road back to reconciliation if a couple truly believe with the help of
God that the marriage can be restored better than it was before the infidelity of adultery. The
road to restoration or reconciliation is driven by steps to a better marriage. The process is not
easy but only if a couple is the determine to save their marriage
A couple seeking reconciliation after an adultery infidelity must try these steps:
Step 1: “Acknowledge God’s first desire: The couples’ heart may not be ready to hear it; but the
Father has made it very clear through His Word and by His actions that He is a God of
reconciliation.”18
Mark 10:27 states “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with
God; all things are possible with God.”19
Step 2: “Determine your spouse’s decision: Once your decision is made to seek reconciliation,
the question is: has your spouse made the same decision? So often, the offending partner is not
willing to reconcile because he or she has not made the decision to cut off the adulterous
relationship. Some of the offended partners become harsh and arrogant demanding a
reconciliation, forgetting that a relationship is built on the choice to love, and this cannot be forced. The
key is to remember it takes two willing partners to reconcile any relationship.”20
17Julie Ganschow. “Post-Adultery Reconciliation in Marriage.” September 23, 2015
Https://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2015/09/23/post-adultery-reconciliation-in-marriage/ Accessed on
2/08/2018.
18Carr, Steve. “Rebuilding Your Relationship After Infidelity.” Covenant Keepers. Vol. 8 Issue 2 2001.
Https://covenantkeepers.org/online-articles/47-general-marital-issues/357-rebuilding-your-relationship-after-
infidelity Accessed on 12/08/2018.
19Mark 10:27 NIV
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Revelation 2:21-22 states: “I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling.
So, I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her
suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways.”21
Step 3: “Seek Godly counsel: Speak with a pastor or elder in your church due to the issues that
have divided you are very difficult and will require a total restructuring of your relationship. A
question to ask the reconciling couple? Are the couple willing to let the Lord influence your
decision-making and help you reconcile?”22
Step 4: “Choose to forgive: Consider all the things that God has forgiven you for in your
past. Then meditate on all the areas in which you are presently failing and consider the
rich and free forgiveness that flows from the Father.”23
Matthew 7:5 states: “First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will clearly
to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”24
Step 5: “Renew your relationship: If a couple want to renew your relationship with your
spouse, apply this counsel to the marriage. Remember what it was like when you first
met and fell in love.”25
Step 6: “Control your thought life: One final element that is essential for the lasting
restoration of your relationship is a controlled thought life. The reason is that both
20 Carr, Steve. “Rebuilding Your Relationship After Infidelity.” Covenant Keepers. Vol. 8 Issue 2 2001.
Https://covenantkeepers.org/online-articles/47-general-marital-issues/357-rebuilding-your-relationship-
after-infidelity Accessed on 12/08/2018.
21Rev 2:21-22 NIV
22Ibid.
23Ibid.
24Matt 7:5 NIV
25Ibid.
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partners will be tempted to go back and dwell in the past when things get tough, and this
will greatly hinder rebuilding process. The offended partner usually struggles with
resentment over what has occurred or fear this will happen again. The offending partner
battles with the guilt and condemnation of his or her failure. Don’t look back.”26
If a wounded couple whole-heartily want to reconcile their marriage seeking God for guidance
and directions is the first course of action followed by forgiveness. In order to heal one must
forgive.
Conclusion
In conclusion, adultery a nine-letter word that is the destroyer of marriages. The Bibles
gives instructions for those individuals caught in acts of committing adultery from death and
divorce. But the blood of Jesus washes away all our sins if we repent. Isaiah 43:25 states “I am
He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.”27The
question ask for this paper is adultery the road to divorce? The answer to the question is yes and
not. The reason for this indecisive answer is how the individuals involved in this tragedy view
the Bible’s teachings. Divorce can result but if the couple seek the help of God that changes the
outcome. With the help of God, reconciliation and healing can begin. The steps following
adultery has two paths divorce or restoration through Christ Jesus but it takes a couple that
willing to make a choice.
26Ibid.
27Isa 43:25 KJV
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Bibliography
Carr, Steve. “Rebuilding Your Relationship After Infidelity.” Covenant Keepers. Vol. 8 Issue 2
2001. Https://covenantkeepers.org/online-articles/47-general-marital-issues/357-rebuilding-
your-relationship-after-infidelity Accessed on 12/08/2018.
Endara, Miguel A. “Imaging God Through Marital Unity.” The Heythrop Journal pp.723-733,
2015. Accessed on 12/07/2018.
Elwell, Walter. “Theology of Marriage.” Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Theology. Baker
Book House Company. 2009
Ganschow, Julie. “Post-Adultery Reconciliation in Marriage.” September 23, 2015
Https://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2015/09/23/post-adultery-reconciliation-in-marriage/
Accessed on 12/08/2018.
Loader, William R. G. “Did Adultery Mandate Divorce? A Reassessment of Jesus’ Divorce
-Logia.” New Testament Studies, no. 1 pp. 67-78 https://www.ezproxy.liberty.edu Accessed on
11/09/2018.
Https://www.merriam-webster.com “Adultery.” Accessed on 12/07/2018.
Rush, Ryan. Walls. (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources), 2011.
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Stinson, Randy and Timothy R. Jones. Eds. “The Home Is An Earthly Kingdom.” Trained in the
Fear of God. (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources), 2011.
