What are the biblical solutions for solving marriage problems as a pastoral counsellor?
Marriage is the most intimate relationship two human beings can experience, second only to a
relationship with God. Marriage brings out the best and the worst in most people, as two separate
individuals struggle to live as "one flesh" (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:8). At the root of most
marriage problems is selfishness. When one or both partners choose to live as though his or her
needs deserve top consideration, conflict results.
There are specific verses that address behavior of both husbands and wives. Some of those are 1
Peter 3:1-8, Colossians 3:18-19, and Titus 2:3-5. Although not addressing marriage directly,
Philippians 2:3-13 is an excellent recipe for resolving marriage problems. This passage tells us to
adopt the attitude Christ demonstrated when He set aside His rights and privileges as the Son of
God and came to earth as a humble servant. Verses 3 and 4 say, "Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you
should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." When that
exhortation is applied to marriage, almost any obstacle can be overcome.
Certainly, seeking counsel from a pastor or Christian marriage counselor is a biblical thing to do
(Proverbs 19:20). Getting counseling is an excellent way to clear misconceptions about marriage
roles, to see a situation from another viewpoint, and to distinguish between God’s standards and
those of the world.
Ephesians 5:21-33 gives specific instructions for both husbands and wives. A husband is to love
his wife "as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her" (verse 25). Such self-sacrificing
love creates an atmosphere in which a wife can more easily submit to her husband’s leadership.
When a husband is committed to demonstrating love for his wife, and a wife is committed to
graciously allowing her husband to lead, the marriage will work.
It is also wise to pay close attention to the verses just before the specific marriage instructions.
Ephesians 5:19–21 says, "Do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with
the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making
melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
Notice all the commands that precede the marriage instruction. All Christians are to
• refuse to get drunk
• be filled with the Spirit
• encourage each other
• sing hymns and songs of praise
• have an attitude of continual worship
• live in a spirit of gratitude
• submit graciously to each other
Effective Conflict Resolution Techniques for Couples
In premarital and marriage counseling, therapists will often focus on the fundamentals of conflict
resolution in marriage as one of the primary ways to improve the relationship.
There are a number of beneficial conflict resolution techniques and ideas that couples can adopt
in order to engage in marital conflicts more effectively.
For Christian couples, it is also a good idea to have some “go-to” verses that you can stand on as
you seek to honor your spouse through conflict resolution.
Bible Verses to Help with Conflict Resolution in Marriage
Scripture is full of passages that relate to interpersonal intensity. In this article, I offer five
helpful verses that can help you and your spouse to put the Word of God to work in your
relationship and in your marital conflict resolution.
Your Temper and Your Marriage
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding but he who has a hasty temper exalts
folly.–Proverbs 14:29
Leave Revenge to God
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures
say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.–Romans 12:19
The urge to get payback for wrongs committed against us can feel quite natural. It is difficult to
drop the charges and allow the perpetrator to go free. When it comes to conflict resolution in
marriage, however, God’s people are encouraged to let go of the impulse for revenge and to turn
the conflict over to God.
Allow God to work on your spouse’s heart and allow Him to fight on your behalf. Often it is our
woundedness that is driving our conflict with each other. God works at the level of the heart and
only He can bring about the conflict resolution and healing that many of us (and our spouses)
really need.
Focus on the Positive
So encourage each other and build each other up just as you are already doing.–1
Thessalonians 5:11
Accentuate the positive and alleviate the negative. It may sound cliché, but even the authors of
the ancient Scriptures knew that focusing on the positive makes a big difference in our
relationships.
Ephesians 4:29 talks about curbing negative language and speaking only what is useful for
building each other up. We need to focus on the positive aspects of our marriage and the positive
traits in our spouse, and to communicate those to each other in an encouraging way. When we do
so, we make positive deposits in our relational bank account. This pays dividends when we begin
to argue.
You are Responsible for Your Own Behavior
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are
honorable.–Romans 12:17
The reality is that our behavior is not dependent on the behavior of someone else. When things
get tense between you and your spouse, you have the freedom to choose your own response. You
can choose to repay meanness with kindness and rudeness with gentleness. And the Word of God
tells us that it is more honorable to do so.
Accept Each Other’s Faults
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the
Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.–Colossians 3:13
When we experience conflict with our spouse, it is helpful to remember to be patient with each
other. The relationship is made up of two imperfect people. Your spouse is flawed and—brace
yourself—so you are you.
Making allowance for human imperfections is the foundation for the conflict resolution and
intimacy your relationship needs in order to thrive. When someone knows about our flaws and
warts, then they really know us, and they can really love us. Sharing and accepting our faults is
the foundation of love.
Christian Counseling for Conflict Resolution in Marriage
Are you concerned about resolving conflict in your own relationship? Have you been wrestling
with tension over harmful, frustrating, or even toxic patterns of conflict with your partner? If you
(or your partner) are experiencing some frustration or confusion over this issue, Christian
counseling is a great place to begin to sort that out. Find a counselor today as you seek to learn
more about conflict resolution in marriage.
How should couples resolve conflict in marriage?
Conflict is, essentially, part of human nature. After Adam sinned in the Garden, conflict ensued.
When God asked him if he had eaten of the forbidden tree, he did not simply say, “Yes.” He
said, “The woman you gave me, gave me the fruit and I did eat.” He indirectly blamed God and
directly blamed the woman. The woman then blamed the serpent. When sin entered the world, so
did conflict. In fact, God said that one of the results of sin would be conflict between the man
and the woman. The wife would desire to control the husband and the husband would try to
dominate the woman by force (Gen 3:16).
As we go throughout the biblical narrative, we continually see the fruit of sin displayed in
conflict. InHGenesis 4, Cain killed his brother Abel. In the same chapter, Cain’s son, Lamech,
killed another man and boasted about it. InHGenesis 6, the world was full of “violence,” and God
decided to wipe out its inhabitants through the flood. However, the flood didn’t change the
nature of man, and therefore, conflict has continued throughout history. The world has known no
time without war or conflict, and unfortunately, marriages are not exempt.
Paul taught that one of the fruits of the flesh, our sin nature, is “discord” (Gal 5:20). We are
prone to offend others, to be offended, to hate, to withhold forgiveness, and to divide. Sadly, all
these fruits are prone to blossom within the marriage union. Couples should be aware of this, and
therefore, prepare to resolve conflict in marriage. How should couples resolve conflict in
marriage?
In Conflict, We Must Have the Right Attitude
The first principle necessary to resolve conflict is to have the right attitude—one of joyful
expectation in God. It is good to remember that conflict does not necessarily have to be
detrimental to a marriage relationship. Conflict, as with all trials, is meant to test our faith, reveal
sin in our hearts, develop character, and draw us closer to God (cf.HRom 5:3-5,HJam 1:2-4). Paul
said this: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering
produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). Similarly,
James said, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2-3). Paul said that we
should rejoice in sufferings, and James said we should consider it “pure joy” when we encounter
them because of God’s purposes in them. God does not waste suffering, including conflict within
marriage. God uses conflict to make us grow into the image of Christ (cf.HRom 8:28-29), which
should be our ultimate goal.
Many times God uses our spouse as sand paper to smooth out areas in our life that don’t reflect
Christ. It has often been said, “Marriage is not about happiness; it is about holiness. And when
we are holy, then we will truly be happy.” In marriage, we enter the ultimate accountability
relationship, which is meant to help us grow as God’s children (cf.HEph 5:25-27).
Therefore, as James taught (James 1:2) and Paul taught (Rom 5:3), we should encounter marital
conflict (and all trials) with joyful expectation, not because we enjoy suffering, but because we
know God’s purposes in it. We worship a God who took the worst sin that ever happened in the
world, the murder of his Son, and made it the best thing. It is for this reason that we can have a
joyful expectation, even in conflict. This isn’t a denial of pain. It is both a recognition of pain
and a future hope. It is like a mother giving birth. Even in the midst of pain, there is a joyful
expectation. Many couples, who have gone through very difficult conflict, developed some of the
strongest marriages—marriages used to counsel and repair others.
What is your attitude when you encounter conflict with your mate? If we don’t have the right
attitude, if we are angry at our mate and angry at God, if we are depressed, bitter, and
disillusioned, then it will negatively affect our behavior and our spouse, and therefore, reap
harmful consequences in marriage. Conflict is really just an opportunity to grow, and we should
view it that way.
What is your attitude during conflict? Do you have a joyful expectation of the work that God
wants to do? Do you expect him to make you holier? Do you expect him to strengthen your
capacity to love? That’s how Scripture tells us to view all trials.
In Conflict, We Must Develop Perseverance
In continuing with what Paul and James taught about trials, both taught that trials produce
perseverance. Paul then said perseverance produces character and character hope (Rom 5:3-4).
James said that we should “let perseverance finish its work so that we can become mature and
complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:3-4, NIV 2011). In marital conflict, we must develop
perseverance so we can produce the fruits God wants to cultivate in our marriage.
This is difficult because the natural response to trials and conflict is to bail or quit. And that’s
what many couples do. At some point they say, “That’s enough; I can’t live like this” andHthey
quit. Some do this by divorcing, others by distancing themselves emotionally and physically, as
they stop working to fix the marriage. However, Scripture teaches us to persevere in trials, which
includes conflict. The word means to “bear up under a heavy weight.” God matures us
individually and corporately as we bear up under the heavy weight. He teaches us to trust him
more. He helps us develop peace, patience, and joy, regardless of our circumstances. He helps us
grow in character as we “let perseverance finish its work.”
In order to resolve conflict, we must develop perseverance. That’s essentially what we promised
to do in our wedding vows. We committed to love our spouse in sickness and in health, for better
or for worse. We should be thankful when it is “better” and persevere when it is “worse”. For
those who do, there is fruit. Paul said, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper
time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
Do you feel like quitting? Hold on, because God has a harvest for you if you don’t quit.
In Conflict, We Must Sow Good Seeds
Not only must we have the right attitude when encountering conflict, but we also must sow the
right seeds to resolve it. Paul said that whatever we sow, we will also reap (Gal 6:7). Sowing and
reaping is a principle God set throughout the earth, and it is at work within every marriage as
well. If we sow negative seeds, we will reap negative fruit. It we sow positive seeds, we will reap
positive fruit.
Sadly, even though we all want a positive harvest in our marriage, we typically respond in ways
that are counter to that. A wife wants her husband to spend more time with her, but in order to
get that, she criticizes him. The fruit she desires is opposite of the seed she is sowing. The seed
of criticism will only produce a negative fruit in her husband. Similarly, a husband, who wants
intimacy with his wife, actually begins to withdraw from her. He withdraws hoping that this will
draw her closer, but it actually does the opposite. The negative seed of withdrawing cannot
produce the positive fruit of intimacy.
In conflict, we must do the opposite of what our nature desires. We may have a desire to raise
our voice, and/or to hurt the other person, but these seeds will only produce negative fruits and
potentially destruction in the marriage. To resolve conflict, we must always sow the right seeds.
Similarly, consider what Paul taught about how we should respond to an enemy. He said:
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to
avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is
thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do
not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:19-21
Paul taught that in response to an enemy, we must overcome evil with good. Instead of
responding with anger or seeking revenge, we should sow kindness and generosity. If he is
hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Instead of being overcome by
evil, we must overcome evil by continually sowing good.
What good seeds can we sow while we are in conflict? Maybe, it could be the good seed of a
listening ear. It could be the seed of affirmation. It could be the seed of service. Certainly, it must
be the seed of unconditional love. In conflict, we must sow good seeds to reap a good harvest.
With that said, we must always remember that conflict resolution is very much like farming.
Sometimes, it may take months or years to get the harvest we desire. Many become discouraged
while waiting for their spouse to change or for the conflict to be resolved. Typically, in that
discouragement, people start to sow negative seeds that only hinder the harvest they seek. A
verse worth repeating while considering conflict resolution is, “Let us not become weary in
doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
We must not only sow good seeds, but we must faithfully do it until God brings the harvest. We
plant and water, but only God makes the seed grow in his time (cf.H1 Cor 3:6-7).
What type of negative seeds do you have a tendency to sow when in conflict? How is God
calling you to sow positive seeds to reap a positive harvest?
In Conflict, We Must Talk to Our Spouse First Before Others
Another important principle to apply in conflict is talking to our spouse first before talking to
anybody else. This is a principle that Christ taught about dealing with sin in general. InHMatthew
18:15Hhe said, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two
of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
This is important for several reasons. First, it shows respect for our spouse. It is disrespectful to
discuss a problem with our mom, our friend, or anybody else not first discussed with our spouse.
If our spouse finds out, it may actually cause more conflict. Secondly, every story has two sides,
and those who are closest to us (such as family and friends) may not have the ability to give us
unbiased counsel. Even for myself, as a pastoral counselor, I have to work really hard to not
jump to conclusions after hearing only one side of the story. This does not mean that we
shouldn’t talk to those closest to us, we should, but only after trying to resolve it with our spouse
first. And when we do talk to others, we should still respect and honor our spouse.
Christ taught that when somebody sins against us, we should go to that person first (Matt 18:15).
Many couples increase their conflict by bringing others in without first seeking to resolve it with
their spouse alone.
In Conflict, We Must Seek Wise Counselors
Though this point may seem like it contradicts the previous one, it doesn’t. Christ taught that we
should confront a person in sin one on one, and if they don’t respond, then invite others into the
process, including the church.HMatthew 18:16-17Hsays this:
But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by
the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and
if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Though this was originally spoken about a brother in sin, it certainly applies to sin or conflict
within marriage. God made us part of the body of Christ, which includes our marriage. When a
natural body is sick, it often results in fever. In a fever, the body simply recruits itself to bring
healing. In the same way, a Christian marriage needs the body’s help to stay healthy. Marriages
should always operate as a part of the body of Christ, but in times of difficulty, they need the
body’s help even more.
For many, this is countercultural. While in serious conflict, many couples hesitate to invite
anybody into their marriage to help. Pride keeps them from exposing themselves and getting the
help they need. This is actually another result of the Fall. When Adam and Eve ate of the
forbidden tree, they looked at one another, saw their nakedness, and hid. They then put on fig
leaves. At the Fall, humanity lost its intended transparency. We hide from one another; we put on
a fake smile even when things are bad. We hide behind our clothes, our houses, our jobs, and our
hobbies. We are deathly afraid of people knowing us: our insecurities and our problems. We
even hide from God, as Adam and Eve did.
However, in order to build the healthy marriage God meant for us, we must be willing to expose
ourselves and seek help. InHMatthew 18, Christ said that if approaching the person in sin does not
work, we should bring one or two others for accountability. If that doesn’t help, invite the
church. And if that doesn’t help, the church should lovingly discipline the erring mate. This is
difficult, but if we are followers of Christ, we must trust he knows best. God wants to use other
godly people to speak into our marriage and sharpen it as iron sharpens iron (Prov 27:17).
Who would you invite to help your marriage? They should be wise people who can understand
you, and who are walking with Christ—preferably a married couple. Solomon said: “For lack of
guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure” (Prov 11:14).
Every president or king selects a cabinet with many advisers. The cabinet advises the president
on foreign policy, educational reform, health care, etc., and this multitude of counselors helps
bring victory. In the same way, a marriage needs a multitude of counselors, especially when in
conflict. Yes, a couple should try to resolve the problem together first, but after that, they should
seek help.
This should be considered even before getting married. Who will be your “many advisers” that
make victory sure? It could be your parents, a wise couple in the church, your pastor, your small
group leader, etc. The selection of these wise counselors takes great wisdom because all
counselors are not created equal. These counselors should primarily use the Bible, as Scripture is
sufficient to train us in all righteousness.HSecond Timothy 3:16-17Hsays this:
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in
righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
God’s Word is useful to train and equip us for every good work, which includes marriage. Those
who disregard Scripture, do it to their own peril and that of their marriage.
In finding counselors, ideally, the couple would agree on whom to approach. But at times when
one mate doesn’t want help, the other mate may still need to seek help in obedience to Christ’s
teaching inHMatthew 18. This is how Christ intended his church to function. Not only should we
depend on God, but we should depend on one another. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t
need you” (1 Cor 12:21). By not using the body, we spiritually impoverish ourselves.
Independent couples may spend their entire marriage spiritually sick, or even worse, the
marriage may end in divorce.
Who are your wise counselors who help you achieve victory? Have you and your mate
considered this question? Are you willing to allow the church to be involved in your marriage as
Christ desires?
In Conflict, We Must Immediately Seek Resolution
Another important principle that must be applied in marriage is to seek to resolve conflict as
soon as possible. Both mates should agree to this principle early in the relationship. Paul said
inHEphesians 4:26-27: ”In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still
angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
Paul says to get rid of anger before the day is over, because if we don’t, it will give Satan a
foothold. What does this mean? “Foothold” is war terminology. It means that unforgiveness and
anger will give Satan a door to continually attack a person or a relationship.
We learn more about this from the Parable of the Merciless Servant inHMatthew 18:23-35. In this
story, a servant owed his master a great amount of money, so he begged for mercy. The master
forgave him the entire debt. However, this servant had a fellow servant who owed him a smaller
debt. The servant with the debt pleaded for mercy, but the servant, who had been forgiven,
instead threw him in prison. When the master heard about this, he became very angry and tossed
the servant, whom he had previously forgiven, into prison to be tortured by the jailors. Listen to
what Christ said to his disciples about this parable: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat
each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
Christ said to the disciples that if they didn’t forgive others from the heart, God would do the
same to them. Who are these torturers? No doubt, they refer to Satan and his demons (cf.H1 Sam
16:14, 1HCor 5:5, 1HTim 1:20). This is the consequence for harboring anger and unforgiveness
towards others. If God has forgiven us of every sin we committed and will commit, how can we
justifiably hold grudges against others, especially our spouse? When we choose to hold anger
and bitterness, God hands us over to the enemy for discipline.
For many couples, because of their disobedience to God in holding bitterness and anger, their
marriage has become a playground for the enemy. He lies to them; he accuses them. He tempts
them to go outside of the marriage, and he also may bring sickness and other types of
consequences for their rebellion (cf.HLk 13:11-16,HJob 2:4-7).
To make this situation even worse, Scripture says when we are walking in unforgiveness, God
will not forgive us (Matt 6:15) and he won’t hear our prayers. Peter called for husbands to be
considerate of their wives and to treat them with respect so that nothing would hinder their
prayers (1 Peter 3:7). A marriage where the mates hold bitterness and anger towards one another
is a marriage where prayer is powerless, which opens a greater door for the enemy to attack and
bring destruction.
When in conflict, we must seek resolution immediately. Certainly, we can’t force somebody to
forgive us or to desire to work things out. However, we can do as much as possible to live at
peace with someone.HRomans 12:18Hsays, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone.”
Are you holding a grudge against your mate? How is God calling you to seek resolution?
In Conflict, We Must Be Willing to Sacrifice
Intrinsic to the Christian life is sacrifice. We follow a Savior who left heaven and all the worship
offered to him there to come to earth as a servant and die for the sins of the world. True
followers of Christ should be known by sacrifice. In fact, Christ said that one could not be his
disciple without taking up his cross daily (Lk 9:23). This life of a sacrifice should be especially
displayed when in conflict. Paul said this to the Philippian church who was struggling with an
internal conflict (cf.HPhil 4:1-3):
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than
yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of
others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Philippians 2:3-5
In the context of a call to unity (cf.HPhil 2:1-2), Paul said the Philippians should “do nothing out
of selfish ambition”. The primary reason couples struggle with discord is because of selfishness.
One person wants this, while the other wants that. However, Paul said to do nothing out of
selfish ambition. In conflict, one must ask, “Is this desire something God wants, as displayed in
his Word, or is this my preference?” Most conflicts are over selfish preferences instead of over
something that genuinely matters, such as loving God and loving others, the two greatest
commandments (cf.HMatt 22:36-40).
Instead of being driven by self, Paul said to “in humility” consider others better than ourselves
and to seek the interest of others. In conflict, one must ask, “How can I seek my spouse’s
betterment or desires over mine?” Essentially, Paul was calling the Philippian church to live a
life of sacrifice in order to be unified (v. 2). This sacrifice was further magnified when he said,
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (v. 5). In the rest of the text, he
described how Christ gave up his rights as God, took the form of a servant, died on the cross, and
how God exalted him for his sacrifice (v. 6-9). This is the mind that should be in Christians,
helping them to walk in unity with their brothers and sisters. And this is the mind that should be
seen in every marriage, enabling them to walk in unity instead of discord (cf.HEph 5:25).
Christian couples should resolve their conflicts by caring more for their spouse’s desires than
their own. They should humble themselves even as Christ did. He gave up his comfort and his
rights to serve us.
How is God calling you to sacrifice in order to resolve conflict or a potential conflict in
marriage? Is he calling you to give up a friendship that is a bad influence or causes discord? Is he
calling you to help more around the house, to care more for the kids, to start participating in
something your spouse enjoys but you don’t, to spend more time with your spouse instead of
doing something else? How can you demonstrate Christ’s sacrifice in your marriage? Sacrifice is
the secret to resolving conflict, while selfishness is the catalyst of conflict.
In Conflict, We Must Love Our Spouse Deeply and Cover His or Her Sins
Finally, when in conflict, we must love our spouse and cover his or her sins.HFirst Peter 4:8Hsays,
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” The Greek
word for “deeply” is an athletic word used of muscles stretching or straining.
This is a rich word-picture of our love during conflict. In the same way a muscle must be
strained and stretched to develop and become stronger, God often strengthens our love through
conflict and difficulty with our spouse. Even though this stretching hurts, it actually results in a
greater capacity to love. Therefore, couples, who deeply love and cover one another’s sins while
in conflict, gain the ability to love more deeply. Certainly, this must be an encouragement as we
stretch our love to cover our spouse’s sins while in conflict.
Stretching our love will often mean overlooking and forgetting the failures of our spouse.HFirst
Corinthians 13:5Hsays love “keeps no record of wrongs.” God will call us to not even bring up
some issues. While others, he will call us to firmly speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15) and work
towards a resolution, especially when it involves sin.
How is God calling you to love your spouse deeply and cover his or her sins in order to resolve
conflict?
Conclusion
Because sin became part of the human nature in the Fall, we are prone to conflict, even conflict
with those we love most. For that reason, we must wisely prepare for conflict because it will
happen in the marriage union. We can resolve conflict by:
1. Having the right attitude: one of joyful expectation, instead of wrong attitudes.
2. Developing perseverance instead of quitting physically or emotionally.
3. Sowing good seeds to produce a harvest of righteousness in our marriage.
4. Talking to our spouse first before talking with others.
5. Seeking wise counselors to help us navigate conflict.
6. Seeking to resolve conflict immediately to prevent opening a door for the devil.
7. Sacrificing our rights and desires for our spouse.
8. Loving our spouse deeply and covering his or her sin.
