Using the Reading & Study material and exploring the book of Song of Solomon, speak to the
sexual options that are available to a married couple. Address those sexual behaviors that you
believe are out of bounds.
The Song of Songs otherwise known as the Song of Solomon provides a beautiful picture of the
sexual relations between a man and his bride. This picture is not just physical connection, but it
is filled with emotional and spiritual connection as well. Yet even presented with this beautiful
picture, there are many questions that remain as to what is okay and what is out of bounds when
it comes to sex.
Diving into this idea, it is of first and foremost importance to look at God’s intention of sex to be
inside the bounds of marrage. In Genesis 2:18 God says that it is not good for man to be alone
and that he will make a helper fit more him (King James Bible, 2017, Genesis 2:18). None of the
animals that Adam named were seen fit for him, so God put him into a deep sleep and made
woman out of man. In verse 24, it said that a man shall leave his father and mother and join with
his wife and they shall become one, and they are told to be fruitful and multiply (King James
Bible, 2017, Genesis 2:24). The beginning of Genesis alone sets the scene for God's intent for
Sex and relationship. This passage addresses that masturbation, homosexulaity, bestiality, and
polygamy are all outside of God’s plan for one man and one woman to be joined together, and
therefore would be considered sin and out of bounds. According to Balswick and Balswick, the
ideal context for authentic sexuality in the eyes of God is a monogamous, lifelong marriage
(Balswick & Balswick, 2019).
So then the question raises what is acceptable and what is out of bounds within the context of
marriage? Though our bodies have many ways of experiencing sexual pleasure and stimulation,
what one feels is physically, mentally, and emotionally stimulating, others might not (Yarhouse
& Tan, 2014). So there can be no set standard of what one should do to experience pleasure and
stimulation, and the Bible doesn't lay out a list of what is right and wrong. So, it is left up to
other biblical passages and biblical morals to give us insite on what is allowed and what is out of
bounds during sexual relations in a marriage. I believe three main moral factors guide us in this,
these are mutual consent, nondegradation, and not seeking selfish gratification. God gave us the
gift of sex within marriage to grow in knowing our spouse more deeply and intimately. In order
for this to happen, there must be mutual consent and what is to be done at this time. If one
partner is not okay with something, then the other must respect that and learn that this is out of
bounds in their relations. There must also never be degradation or seeking of selfish gratification,
as this will strip away love and intimacy and cause many problems within the marriage. I believe
pornography is included in this, as it sets unrealistic expectations and is selfish to try to force
upon your partner. Even if both agree that they are okay with pornography, this would be the
same as polygamy and bringing other people into this holy gift of God. We must learn to know
our spouses deeply by what they and God share with us, not what anyone else tells us.
King James Bible. (2017) King James Bible Online.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/ (Original work published 1769)
Yarhouse, M. A. & Tan, E.S.N. (2014). Sexuality and sex therapy: A comprehensive
Christian appraisal . InterVarsity Press.
Balswick, J, K., Balswick, J, O. (2019). Authentic human sexuality: An integrated
Christian approach (3rd ed). IVP academic
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