PACO 509 Discussion: Story-Tuning with God & Another: Initial Phases
Story Tuning My Life Within a Specific Relationship
The Me I See NOW
Symphonic Narrative: The influences shaping “the me I see,” in my friendship,
Emotional: I normally brush people off when something is bothering me. I act out when upset. I
do not hold back when I know my actions and/or my words will not help the situation (Bradberry
& Greaves, 2009). At times I am simply unloving.
Spiritual: I simply get distracted, busy, and preoccupied with living without much
intentionality toward Jesus’ kingdom priorities (Issler, 2012). I am not giving enough time to
reading and studying the Scriptures. I am too busy that I have no time to enjoy the hobbies in
my life that bring me joy and rest (Becker, 2016).
Relational: As a thinker I can be tempted to withdraw from relationships and love (Orberg,
2010). Consequences of disconnectedness cause me to be fruitless. I do not spend enough time
with friends and the community of the Body of Christ to glean or add. My change cannot happen
in isolation of others. The process and influence needed to interact with others in a more
Christlike manner, must take place in connection to others (Pettit, 2008)
Physical: My body is out shape to the point it can cause health problems. I have different gym
memberships, but do not consistently stay on my exercise routine.
Balance: I must remember to keep the Holy Spirit flowing in every aspect of my life. He
indwells in me and wants to work in my life (Pettit, 2008). In order to plan a formation practice,
carry out the practice, and commit to change, dependence on the Holy Spirit is critical (Issler,
2012).
The following areas are languishing/shortcomings/blindspots/harmful patterns and
practices:
In phase one: becoming aware of gaps and considering whether to change or not, made
me conscience that my behavioral/personal patterns, sin patterns, emotional patterns (gaps) are
causing me to languish. Overusing my strengths can turn into weakness. According to the DISC,
I am a C/D. Even thought my strengths are: Analytical, Discerning, process-oriented, focused,
careful, assertive, direct, confident, risk-taking, results-driven; if overused; I will become
aggressive, blunt, arrogant, reckless, short-sighted, indecisive, judgmental, bureaucratic,
detached, and picky.
At times I present myself with “double-binded” situations: “damned if I do, and damned if I
don’t. I hold others to the same standards to which I hold myself. There may be some peers and
team members that struggle to meet that standard. I tend to handle assertive and aggressive
people in a blunt and critical way. I am less tolerating to off-topic discussions. When in creative
mode, I tend to withdraw a bit and process information internally. To get the most out of this
trait, I should display a more people-oriented side, so the team can see this side of me as well.
This presents less disconnectedness (Rosenberg & Silvert, 2013).
The Me I want to be SOON (60 day practice plan)
Seeking to be an example of Christ, I am committed to become at loving friend. I
will have to submit myself to the works of the Holy Spirit, so I practice the love spoken of in
first Corinthians 13:4-7. The ultimate goal is living in a loving relationship with God and his
people, and becoming more like Jesus in our character (Issler, 2012).
In phase B, “Carrying Out a Formation Practice,” I make a commitment to change, and I
plan a formation practice, implement it and get to a place where practicing the new habit is
easier than not doing it. When the new habit becomes easier to do than not to do, I have gotten
past the “tipping point.” I am now carried along more and more into routine obedience by my
heart flow, requiring much less effort (Issler, 2012).
Spiritual:
Distracted:
I must be on guard not be become distracted, slowly drifting off course away from the
priority to follow Jesus. Getting too busy and preoccupied simply with living without much
intentionality toward Jesus’ kingdom priorities chokes fruitfulness. One of the benefits of
minimalism is less distractions. Everything around us competes for our attention. These small
distractions can add up and prevent us from giving attention to the things we care about.
Practice making space in your daily routine to invest in solitude, prayer, and meditation,
reduce distraction, and appreciate and schedule rest (Becker, 2016). Practices to attend to
my rest and avoid being distracted: time of reflection, time for personal study and meditation,
time for feedback from trusted others (Issler, 2012). Being disconnected from abiding with
Jesus renders us cut off from divine empowerment, divine relationships, and resources. I have a
need to practice taking several brief pauses during the day to talk with God. It may be
helpful to use a visual support system, like small notes, with the word “pause” in the center. The
is need for the Practice of the Presence of God (Issler, 2012). I will practice reading and
meditating on the Scripture at least twice a day with curiosity, integrity, expectancy, an
active mind, possibility of memorization, and the way I watch a movie, so that my mind
flourishes on life-giving thoughts (Ortgerb, 2010). Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose
mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee (Isaiah 26:3).
Emotional:
Loving:
Reacting quickly and without much thought fans the flames burning in the emotional
brain. Since a snappy comeback usually leads to a heated exchange where barbs are thrown back
and forth, it’s easy find yourself in the midst of a full-blown emotional hijacking. When you
slow things down and focus on counting, it engages your rational brain. You can then regain
control of yourself and keep your emotions from running the show. My self-management skills
need work in the personal competence area. If this area is strengthened, it will naturally raise my
score in the next lowest area of social competence relationship management. The change begins
with me. I will practice the three (3) self-management strategies: #4 Count to Ten-before
reacting and responding, #5 Sleep On It- giving time and patience before making reacting which
gives extra time to control my emotions, and #9 Take Control of My Self Talk- so there are no
negative and self-defeating thoughts acted upon. This will prevent downward emotional spirals
making it difficult to get what I want from life (Bradberry & Greaves, 2009)
Relational:
Connectedness:
Spiritual formation involves members of the body maturing together toward
Christlikeness, by the power of the Holy Spirit and according to biblical standards. Growing in
community is a critical need of all Christ followers (Pettit, 2008). With me asking the Holy
Spirit for help to empower me with formation grace to address my gaps, and importantly feel
safe to be connected to the kingdom community to speak about the gaps and invite help (Issler,
2012), I will practice visiting or speaking with members of the body at least twice a week.
The practice of sharing good things with others improves their lives by allowing them to
discover the same joy we have. It also enhances our lives by confirming our happiness and
reinforcing the positives of the course we’re on (Becker, 2016). Spending meaningful time with
people who care about us is indispensable to human flourishing. Part of what it means to be
made in God’s image is our capacity for connectedness. Love grows when people serve. The
Spirit of God is at work in us all the time, prompting these expressions of love. Every moment is
an opportunity to practice the gesture of love (Ortberg, 2010). I will practice seeking more
input from others for a more effective team cooperation, working on trusting the
competence and high standards of others on the team, and verbalizing more of my reasons
for decisions, and to include others in the decision-making process (Rosenberg & Silvert,
2013).
Physical:
God desires that his children see change in their physical and spiritual lives. The Apostle
John says, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as
thy soul prospereth (3 John 1:2). I will act with a plan with intentionality and effort taking steps
to address my gaps on a permanent basis, slowly chip away at them, following Jesus’ example
(Issler, 2012). I will practice going to the gym at least three (3) times a week. I will attend
at least one exercise class weekly, led by paid trainers. I will practice good, health eating at
least 6 days a week with one free day, without going over allotted calorie intake.
Balance:
My plan and practice will be set by developing my response to God and his Word that is
sensitive to my context. I will make adjustments as I experiment with what works for me in my
season of life, fitting win with my particular circumstances, personality, gifts, strengths and gaps
(Issler, 2012).
References
Becker, J. (2016). The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own.
Waterbrook.
Bradbery, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
Issler, K. (2012). The Formation of Christian Character: Living into the Life of Jesus.
InterVarsity Press.
King James Bible, (1987).
Ortberg, J. (2010). The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You. Zondervan.
Pettit, P. (2008). Foundations of Spiritual Formation: A Community Approach to Becoming
Like Christ. Kregel Academic.
Rosenberg, M. & Silvert, D. (2013). Taking Flight%!: Master the DISC Styles to Transform Your
Career, Your Relationship…Your Life. FT Press.
