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Summary
This paper describes the book Surrender to Love (Expanded Edition) by David G.
Benner (2015) and the methodology proposed in that work. The purpose of the proposed
methodology is considered, which helps to examine it in more detail. It also discusses aspects of
Benner's methodology, such as the development of problems and personal needs, its biblical
integration, and the formula for change the author proposes for counselees. The balance of
theology and spirituality in Benner's book, as well as an understanding of the personhood of the
individual, is also examined. The paper further discusses the function and role of the counselor
according to Benner, the major contribution to counseling of this theory, the limitations of this
counseling theory, and classification. The paper also provides an application of Benner's theory
and an example of counseling.
Primary Goal
David G. Benner's book Surrender to Love is an incredibly deep investigation of
spirituality, particularly from a Christian perspective. In Surrender to Love, Benner dives into the
transformational practice of giving oneself to divine love in Christian spirituality (Benner, 2015).
He highlights the significance of letting go of ego-driven aspirations and becoming open to
God's unconditional love. Benner leads readers on a journey of greater spiritual closeness and
growth via captivating stories, reflections, and practical activities (Benner, 2015). According to
the author of this book, the fundamental purpose of pastoral counseling is to convert and repent.
These deeds necessitate a true and peaceful love for God.
Development of Problems and Personal Need
Every person has difficulties and wants, as well as internal emotions. The author believes
that the rejection of God's love is the root source of human troubles and wants. He feels that
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people have exchanged this love for what they assume to be freedom, which it is not. According
to the author, this so-called freedom is the source of greed, servitude, and other difficulties that
the human spirit is compelled to endure (Benner, 2015). This endeavor to achieve independence
has distanced man from God, laying the groundwork for difficulties and wants.
Biblical Integration
Benner believes that loving God is far more vital than knowing the Word of God.
According to Benner (2015), humanity must evolve beyond faith and objective knowledge of
God and toward an intimate understanding of God gained through experience. However,
according to Benner, religion alone cannot fix humanity's problems. As a result, no nation, state,
religion, science, or technology can address humanity's global issues on its own (Benner, 2015).
The bond between God and man must go beyond faith. It must act in tandem with the other
elements of the connection with God, with a particular emphasis on pure love.
Formula for Change
Purification, enlightenment, and oneness are among the components of Benner's formula.
Purification, in his opinion, is repentance, the process of letting go of obstructions to spiritual
progress. This might entail admitting and repenting of misdeeds, letting go of bad ideas and
attitudes, and overcoming addictions and attachments (Benner, 2015). After cleansing, the
individual becomes open to new spiritual truths and insights. This stage includes study,
meditation, prayer, and absorption of the texts to get a better knowledge of faith and spirituality
(Benner, 2015). Unification, on the other hand, is concerned with incorporating new spiritual
principles into one's life and creating harmony with God, oneself, and the world around them.
This may entail cultivating spiritual habits such as meditation, prayer, service, and compassion.
Balance of Theology and Spirituality
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Surrender to Love by David Benner emphasizes the need to maintain a balance between
theology and spirituality. He attempts to blend theological principles with practical aspects of
spiritual life to enable readers not only to comprehend but also to live out their faith in a practical
manner. Theologically, Benner (2015) understands that God, as the creator of the cosmos, loves
his created creatures in the same way as a father loves a newborn child. However, man's
disobedience in the garden separated him from God's love, so God sent Jesus Christ to reveal
God's nature by personifying His love and restoring humanity "back to the Father - back to love"
(Benner, 2015, p. 28). Thus, in addition to theological considerations, Benner tackles practical
dimensions of spiritual development. However, he believes that it is the love for God that is more
important, not the understanding of that love.
Human Personality
Benner emphasizes the significance of releasing ego cravings and attachments to
experience the transformational power of love. In this book, Benner mixes psychological insights
with spiritual knowledge to provide readers with a comprehensive picture of the human path to
completeness. As previously stated, important to Benner's teachings is the belief that ultimate
fulfillment comes not from pursuing outward recognition or worldly achievement but from
establishing a profound feeling of connection to oneself, others, and God (Benner, 2015).
According to Benner, the process of avoidance and control is part of the shadow self, which
hides behind a mask and attempts to preserve a sense of safety to eliminate underlying guilt
(Benner, 2015). This is why he urges readers to be vulnerable, give up control, and create a
receptive openness to the guiding presence of love in their lives.
Counselor’s Function and Role
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For Benner, the counselor's mission is to mirror the divine presence of God's love to the
counseled person, so creating a safe atmosphere of vulnerability. Furthermore, by providing
unconditional, positive therapy in a loving environment, the counselor helps the counselee
believe in God's unconditional love (Benner, 2015). He also emphasizes that the counselor's
fundamental role is to provide a secure and supportive atmosphere in which the counselee may
explore his or her inner self, confront his or her anxieties, and finally submit to the
transformational power of love. Benner proposes that the counselor act as a guide and partner on
the path of self-discovery and personal progress (Benner, 2015). This comprises empathetic
listening, real presence, and unconditional acceptance of counselees as they deal with life's
complexity (Benner, 2015). Furthermore, Benner highlights the necessity of the counselor to
demonstrate attributes such as humility, genuineness, and compassion. By demonstrating these
traits, the counselor can foster a therapeutic connection based on trust, respect, and
understanding.
Major Contribution to Counseling
Benner's most significant contribution to Christian therapy is his belief that embracing
God's love, which is at the center of Christian faith, assures emotional wellness. Benner
highlights the significance of letting go of ego cravings and attachments to achieve personal
progress and spiritual fulfillment (Benner, 2015). He advises counselors to assist counselees in
developing a desire to let go of control and accept the transformational power of love. This
emphasis on surrender provides counselees with a freeing alternative to seeking external
acceptance or financial achievement. Benner emphasizes the value of compassion and empathy
in therapy (Benner, 2015). He advises counselors to acquire a strong feeling of empathy for their
counselee's troubles and issues while also acknowledging each person's dignity and value.
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Counselors can foster a therapeutic connection that is warm, empathetic, and accepting by
demonstrating compassion for their counselees. It is also worth noting that David Benner
developed strategic pastoral counseling, which is described as a brief, structured approach to
counseling that is explicitly Christian and incorporates ideas from contemporary counseling
theory while preserving pastoral ministry resources.
Limitations of This Counseling Theory
A potential drawback of this theorization is that the emphasis on spirituality takes
precedence over theology, especially if practitioners of the technique choose to draw on
experiences that contradict orthodoxy. A second restriction is the belief that spiritual change is
exclusively dependent on God's love. The author does not advise any additional components that
may not appeal to some groups of individuals (Benner, 2015). Although loving surrender may be
a powerful notion for personal growth and spiritual transformation, placing too much emphasis
on giving up ego cravings and attachments might deprive the counselee of autonomy and self-
sufficiency. Some counselees may see surrender as passivity or submissiveness, which might
dampen their desire for change and empowerment (Benner, 2015). This is why counselors must
strike a balance between promoting surrender and honoring counselees' self-determination.
Classification
Benner's technique falls under the category of Christian therapy. This is explained by the
fact that most of Benner's (2015) work is based on personal experience with God's love rather
than classical or modern types of psychology, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Although the
book does not focus on a specific religious tradition, it does touch on universal spiritual topics
that may be relevant to people from many religious backgrounds (Benner, 2015). It belongs to
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the discipline of religious studies since it investigates the nature of spirituality and its influence
on personal development.
Practical Application
Utility for Counseling and Potential Personal Influence
Pastoral counseling is described as counseling provided by a church minister to an
individual or couple from their congregation. While biblical therapy is available outside of the
church, pastoral counseling provides distinct benefits that cannot be acquired elsewhere
(Whitman, 2021). The pastor has a relationship with his counselee that extends beyond the
therapy sessions. He may see and track the development of the church members he counsels
(Whitman, 2021). He can also seek the prayers and guidance of other church members, such as
elders while maintaining whatever confidentiality agreement he has with the advised individual.
The pastor can also utilize accountability as a tool during counseling sessions. Given that
God's entire nature is love and that the Greatest Commandment is based on love, it is difficult to
fathom any acceptable Christian counseling that knowingly rejects the core of God's love
(Benner, 2015). Benner's technique can influence my life and therapy. I have realized how
important empathy and guidance are for counselees. When I experience the truth of God's
unconditional love, I no longer feel the need to satisfy worldly standards to feel loved. I also
devote less time to some requirements that may be impeding my personal and spiritual
development.
Brief Example in a Counseling Moment
For example, consider coaching a counselee who suffers from worry and perfectionism.
According to the counselee, she is continuously looking for external validation and is afraid of
failure, which causes stress and discontent in all aspects of her life. During the session, I provide
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the counselee with a secure and empathic environment in which to address her difficulties.
Drawing on Benner's teachings, I gently invite the counselee to consider the give and take of
surrender and its relevance in her experience. I would like to inform the counselee that I believe
he is carrying a big load of expectations and concerns. I then advise the counselee to think that
there is another option besides continually seeking to control results and satisfy unachievable
criteria.
I emphasize that giving up does not imply giving up; rather, it means letting go of the
impulse to control the circumstance and believing in something bigger. As a counselee begins to
consider the concept of surrender, I walk them through a mindfulness practice to help them
connect with their inner self and build a sense of serenity and acceptance. During a session in
which I employed the Benner Method, the counselee realized that genuine happiness comes from
recognizing one's actual self and believing in the transformational power of love and surrender
rather than seeking external acceptance.
Conclusion
Thus, in Surrender to Love, Benner highlights the significance of letting go of ego desires
and attachments to experience the transformational power of love. Benner inspires readers to see
vulnerability, genuineness, and humility as paths to wholeness and authenticity. Using this
strategy during counseling can assist the counselee in shifting his or her attention away from
their personal demands and experiences and toward inner acceptance of self and love for God.
This book has had a significant impact on my practice as a counselor. I now see the value of
empathy and love in overcoming ego limits and experiencing profound development, healing,
and release.
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References
Benner, D. G. (2015).BSurrender to love: Discovering the heart of Christian spirituality.
Downers Grove: InterVarsity.
Whitman, L. (2021).BA biblical counseling process: Guidance for the beginning, middle, and
end. New Growth Press.
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