Original sin and personal sin are the reasons for our problems. Despite the
universality and prevalence of sin, it is important to confront sin in a counseling
session when doing so would likely precipitate positive change. Since it is the Holy
Spirit that works to create change, the counselor should pray before the session
for guidance and discernment on when and how to confront sin. It may be better
to refrain from confrontation until the counselee becomes more receptive to
recognizing and owning his sinful actions and thoughts. If the client is not self-
aware and is actively blaming external factors for his issues, he will likely dismiss
the therapist’s words or respond defensively (Kollar, 2011). He may double-down in
his stance, making it harder for him to hear the truth. On the opposite spectrum,
if the client is lacking a sense of self and has a propensity for self-condemnation,
confrontation may cause him to withdraw or become extremely compliant and
codependent (McMinn, 2011). The client is not yet empowered to make changes to
his life because he is unsure of who he is and his values. Hence, it is better to
postpone confrontation until he further develops his identity in Christ and can
modify his view of self, his behavior, and his principles in order to grow.
c c c c c c c c c c c The counselor is recommended to “start with smaller, less
intimidating types of confrontation” methods to gauge the response of the client
(McMinn, 2011). Techniques such as silence, pondering, questioning, and direct
censure should be done with empathy without compromising Christian values. If a
gentler method is insufficient to motivate repentance, the therapist may cautiously
escalate or wait to try again in another session since confrontation is a right that
is earned over time. Another reason to limit direct censure is because the
counselor is advocating his understanding of “the sin”, which may be a subjective
interpretation and different from the client’s interpretation. Unless it is agreed upon
through reasonable understanding of the Bible, the counselor will be using “the
power differential inherent in the therapeutic situation”, which may raise ethical
questions for counseling (Entwistle, 2015, p. 301). Matt 18:15 says, “If your brother
sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he
listens to you, you have gained your brother” (English Standard Version, 2001).
Speaking truth in love lessens the likelihood of severing the counseling relationship.
If the client feels alienated, he may stop participating until the connection is
reestablished.
c c c c c c c c c c c Counselors should follow Jesus’ demonstration of selecting and
applying confrontation methods. In John 8:1-11, Jesus addresses both the woman’s
adultery and the Pharisees’ self-righteousness. Jesus is direct with the Pharisees to
pierce their hardened hearts when he calls attention to the fact that they are not
without sin. With the woman who is feeling guilt and shame, he uses silence,
which gives her time to reflect on her sin. After the others leave, he uses
empathic questioning and guides her toward grace. This is a reminder to the
counselor that the purpose of confrontation is not just conviction of sin, but to
help the client understand the need for grace. c
Reference
English Standard Version. (2001). ESV Online. https://esv.literalword.com/
Entwistle, D. N. (2015). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: An
introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration
(3rd ed.). Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term
approach for getting people back on track (Exp. ed.). Zondervan.
McMinn, M. R. (2011). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling
(Rev. ed.). Tyndale House Publishers.
