Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY
Author Note
PACO 500
Dr. Robert Shaw
September 16,
2023
Discussion Thread: Get the Present Story
Danielle Tobias
Liberty University
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Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY 2
Ministry or Agency Based Context
My role in ministry at this present time is Elementary Director at one of our multisite
church locations. This means I get to work with a various number of families and children who
attend our church. I am also partnering with others to lead the Re:generation ministry. This is a
biblically-based 12 step discipleship program. I have been in full-time ministry for five years.
With these two specific roles, I have the unique opportunity to work with an array of different
people who come from different walks of life. Even with that being a true statement, these
ministries intertwine in such a unique way and they focus very much on marriages and families.
Over time, God has revealed to me the preparation of being in these two roles. I am looking
forward to growing and learning with the Lord as He leads me in loving others. I truly believe
“God is active in the heart, mind, and spirit of all who will ever come to know and love him.”1
My care-seeker will be Brody.
Guiding Purpose Statement
As I seek to be a solution-focused counselor, I have the desire to be like Christ in every
relational way possible. As I am seeking to be a reflection of Christ, I am committed to being a
compassionate friend. I believe the Lord has given me the gift of encouragement and empathy. I
would like to be intentional in how I navigate emotions and how those emotions can be used for
good. I want to immerse myself in the story of others and break down the paradigm that they
may feel trapped in. Instead of them living in their world of problems, they are living in a sea of
solutions. There is this “change in focus, from problems to solutions, while encouraging forward
progress toward specific, mutually agreed upon goals.”2 We are working together to reach their
goals and I want to grow their partnership with God.
1 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for getting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 62
2 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for getting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 89
Phase One Distinctive Features
Purpose
The purpose of this counseling session is to help Brody navigate the emotions and pain of
losing his mother and sister suddenly. I also want to help Brody address the rocky relationship
Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY 3
Rapport and Relational Alignment
Brody is one that “requires more attention and support”3 and is also one that finds his
value and worth from the people around him. He needs to have security in knowing that people
are proud of him and can affirm what he is doing in his life. He relied heavily on his mother and
sister to help him with that affirmation. With him being so reliant on security in his relationships
and may not be as self-confident as others, he would be labeled as an “S” personality according
to Carbonell’s Uniquely You Assessment. Consistency and relying on different listening
techniques will be key with Brody. I am a high I/C/S and my Uniquely You Assessment shows
that I can “relate well to those who desire quality and consistency.”4 However, making sure to
avoid the communication traps of saying “I understand” or even just nodding my head without
recognizing what Brody is actually saying. Petersen would call this ritual listening and I would
need to fight the urge to “tell my story or make my point.”5 As I build that rapport with Brody,
create an encouraging environment and “place courage”6 into him, I will see him move from
attending to willing. Building trust and pushing toward hope in Jesus is a great place to start as
we get to know one another.
3 Rice, D. (2018). A case study on crossroads: A story of forgiveness. Lynchburg, VA.: Liberty Univer- sity.
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4 Carbonell, M. (n.d.) Uniquely You DISC Assessment (2021). Retrieved from https://uniquelyyou.org/
5 Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don!t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships (2nd
ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. 149
6 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for getting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 96
Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY 4
with his father and help him share his feelings about how to mend their issues. Expecting Brody
to process and share quickly will be unrealistic. Brody may not even be aware of what he needs
yet. “They’re in shock, confused, and thoroughly flat-brained.”7 When it comes to grief, the
process is different for everyone. This is okay to acknowledge and to understand. It’s not my job
to introduce any kind of theory or solution to Brody. It is my role to begin with the “counselee’s
own experience.”8 When I allow Brody to share and navigate the process, I am simply going on
the journey with him. I want him to construct his path.
Chief Aim
I have already shared that I would like to avoid the traps of ritual listening and saying I
understand. This is especially important when it comes to the trauma of loss and the pain of
navigating a negative parent relationship. The techniques I would like to rely on in this first
session will be acknowledging and repeating accurately. With these two techniques, I know I can
keep it safe in just listening well and allowing Brody to share openly. Acknowledging “makes
room for the talker to go on, feel understood and not be alone in frustration.”9 When it comes to
the repeating accurately, I know I can create an atmosphere where Brody is feeling safe and I am
affirming the pain he is sharing. They are his words and his thoughts, not mine. The repeating
accurately can also create clarity with what Brody is sharing. The more I know and understand in
this first session, the better.
Role Responsibility
My role is to get to the position of the counselee trusting me to walk alongside them.
With Brody, I need to demonstrate that I am with him and for him. The paradigm that Brody is
7 Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don!t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships (2nd
ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. 176
8 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for getting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 201
9 Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don!t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships (2nd
ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. 11
Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY 5
living in is broken and shattered. Getting into that paradigm with him will be crucial. When it
comes to Brody’s situation, my strength to “think in depth, rather than do shallow research”10
will be beneficial. He will pick up on me not taking the time to invest in his situation and what is
happening to him. With Brody being an “S” personality, he responds best to someone who
believes in him. I want to be the person who believes in him but more importantly get him to a
place where he knows how much Jesus believes in him.
Guiding Assumptions
As I navigate this first session with Brody, I know that when I “assume God’s activity, I
can begin to look for clues of it.”11 God is always at work and His work will be evident no matter
the circumstance. It’s important to create an atmosphere that’s always looking to the future in a
positive light. A future that is full of hope and restoration. “As he shifts paradigms from a past
focus to a future focus, he will begin to move in a forward direction.”12 I want Brody to look to
the future as much as possible especially being a solution-focused counselor. “We can begin by
cocreating a future in which the problem does not dominate. We consider what God has already
been doing and seek to move the counselee forward toward his goal.”13
Phase One Marker
The first session with Brody will be one of apprehension and wondering what the actual
next step is. Being able to identify and get to the root of the different array of emotions, I would
use the technique of listening first and talking second. “If you acknowledge people’s fears, pain,
losses, hurts, confusion, anger, etc. first, then they may calm enough to hear your thoughtful
10 Carbonell, M. (n.d.) Uniquely You DISC Assessment (2021). Retrieved from https://uniquelyyou.org/
11 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for get- ting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 63
12 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for get- ting
people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 68
13 Kollar, C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for get-
ting people back on track. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.). 76
Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY 6
reassurances.”14 With him sharing the pain and the hurt, I have created an environment where I
am not coming at him with all of these assurances and religious responses. “The anguished need
listening.”15
Food for Thought
I thoroughly enjoyed watching the video about the three C’s of pastoral counseling. The
three include Crisis, Complexity and Caution. It was helpful and a great reminder to know that
we do not have to be Jesus. We are not the Messiah but our identity is in the Messiah. There is a
trap that pastors or church staff can get themselves in and it’s the trap of feeling like we may be
the only person the counselee can talk to. We do not have to bear that burden and the video also
talked about being okay with referring the counselee to another professional that would help
them. We can still have that relationship and show that support, it would just look different.
References
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue
Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling (2nd ed.). Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan.
Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in
relationships (2nd ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.
14 Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don!t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships
(2nd ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. 180
15 Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don!t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships
(2nd ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. 179
Running Head: GET THE PRESENT STORY
Rice, D. (2018). A case study on crossroads: A story of forgiveness. Lynchburg, VA.: Liberty
University.
Uniquely You DISC Assessment (2021). Retrieved from https://uniquelyyou.org/
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