REFLECTION PAPER: ROLE OF LISTENER
Reflection Paper: Role of Listener
“This ancient Hebrew vision of right relationships, called shalom, is a combination of
proper justice and fulfilling peace” (Schultze & Badzinski, 2015). In the role of listener a person
has the opportunity to provide a place of shalom for another. I have struggled with this in the
past, yet I have learned to resist the urge to defend myself and to attend to the reality of the
person in front of me. According to Petersen (2022) when I listen to another person, I need to
remember it is to see the issue from that person’s viewpoint. I must train myself to stop
defending myself and provide a place of safety for the one who is speaking.
This place of security is what I consider justice for another. According to scripture,
“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of [God’s] throne; steadfast love and faithfulness
go before [him]” (New International Version, Psalm 89:14, 1978). God is always in the act of
making relationships right. He longs to reach into the lives of people to create loving connections
between us, himself and others. As Christians, we become ambassadors of these right
relationships. 2 Corinthians 5:20 says, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God
were making his appeal through us…” (New International Version, 1978). God desires our
participation with him to help bring others into a right relationship with him and with each other.
We must be able to humble ourselves and choose to listen if we hope to attend the hurt or need
within a person. We also must listen well for our relationships to flourish.
According to Uniquely You (2023), I am a D, I, S behavioral blend which means I am a
sensitive people-person. I want others to know I hear and care about their feelings and needs.
This is how I lead others. In a professional setting, I am able to listen to people even if they
seem emotionally upset or if they become accusatory or judgmental toward me. I am able to
listen as Petersen (2022) suggests: as one who neither agrees, disagrees, advises, or defends. I
REFLECTION PAPER: ROLE OF LISTENER
try to see the point of view of the one who is sharing, and I am able to keep silent as I take in
information. Yet, I have skills I need to sharpen. Many times, I struggle to ask clarifying
questions. I tend to remain silent and simply wait for more information. I think I would do well
to develop some clarifying questioning skills. I also struggle because I lead people to believe I
agree with them when I am actually trying to encourage them to keep talking instead. I need to
be careful I do not play into a talker’s insecurities by seemingly agreeing with what they are
sharing. Petersen (2022) shares this may have the opposite effect of what I am hoping to
accomplish as a listener.
In my personal relationships with family, I seem to get emotionally upset much quicker
when I am listening especially if I feel judged or labeled. I become defensive. When I am in the
role of listener I need to stay in this role and hold off from defending myself. I like the example
Petersen (2022) used of a good listener. A listener will move to the other side of the room and
join the one who is speaking by sitting down beside him, and view the perspective entirely from
that person’s viewpoint. If one does this there is no way the two can argue because the two will
be experiencing the information from one perspective and not two different points of view. This
makes sense to me, and it is what will bring justice. How can I know what injury or hurt has been
revealed if I am never able to see the issue from the other’s viewpoint? How can I promote
peace or shalom if I am unable to appreciate another person and their reality? According to
Schultze and Badzinski (2015), we must see our responsibility in addressing the needs of others,
especially the need to listen. We desire relationships that flourish; we desire openness and
honesty in authentic life-giving relationships. We must recognize God has given us each other as
a gift to one another.
REFLECTION PAPER: ROLE OF LISTENER
Finally, I have noticed I struggle to listen the most when I become impatient. According
to Carbonell (2008) a person with a D, I, S behavioral personality type tends to be hasty or quick
to make decisions. They are ready to move without taking the time to do the proper research. I
see this is a weakness in me. I must take the time to nurture relationships and give people the
time to share what they feel is needed and important. Schultze and Badzinski (2015) emphasize
getting to know others takes time. This requires good listening skills and a willingness to think
through all that is shared in patience. Communication is complex, and sometimes I need to take
more consideration about all that is spoken.
As God’s people we are called to provide a place of peace and justice. I know this is the
great calling of a listener, and I pray the Lord will help me attend to his words and work in my
life by being one who listens.
REFLECTION PAPER: ROLE OF LISTENER
References
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue
Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
New International Version Bible. (1978). New International Version Bible Online.
https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-
Petersen, J. (2022). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships
(3rd ed.). MBS Content. https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/MBS7916214
Schultze, Q. J., & Badzinski, D. M. (2015). An essential guide to interpersonal communication:
Building great relationships with faith, skill, and virtue in the age of social media. Baker
Academic.
Uniquely You. (2023). Leadership online profile: Professional expanded (Latest ed.). Uniquely
You Resources. https://uniquelyyou.org/
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