Running head: DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 1
Developmental Analysis
Amy Rice
Liberty University
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 2
Abstract
This paper incorporates human growth and development with theories and milestones in relation
to the personal journey of the author of this paper. Its purpose is to prove a working knowledge
of terminology and developmental concepts that appear over the course of one’s life. The focus is
on key components that led the author to the adult she is today. Additionally, a focus on crucial
areas and times of which were instrumental in the overall development are included with various
challenges and spiritual components. Many theorists have attributed to unfolding the cause and
effects involved in human development over a lifespan. This paper shows a reflection of Erik
Erikson’s eight psychosocial stages of development pertained to the author’s personal life.
Erikson’s theory, which is woven through this paper, places an emphasis on influences of human
personality including social and historical aspects. The environment and attachments which an
individual is exposed to can affect how she sees herself. The author’s response to each pivotal
developmental milestone provides the basis for the person she has become today. The journey of
her life is unveiled and held up to developmental stages in relation to human growth.
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 3
Introduction
Human development and the ongoing study of it unveil a compelling story of how human
beings transform over time. The personal challenges and milestones one faces are contributions
to what molds an individual into uniqueness. Many theories have been proposed, in the attempt
to explain psychosocial components of behavior. How an individual feels about herself and those
around her can have many influential contributions. As I have diligently worked to put the puzzle
pieces together, gathering as much developmental information as I could from the prenatal stage
until adulthood, I have come to realize there are many significant events, people, environmental
factors, spiritual occurrences, and challenges that have worked together to form Amy Nicole
Rice. Various historical and influential factors have been deeply woven into the core of my
existence bringing me to where I am today. Through reflection, prayer, gaining perspectives from
my parents, and doing a personal inventory assessment, this paper embarks on the journey of my
own personal human development story. One particular theory, influenced by Erik Ericson
attempts to define the stages of development in eight developmental tasks (Broderick & Blewitt,
2015). In each stage, a particular crisis is presented and depending on how the person responds to
each event, determines whether moving forward would be positive or negative. Erik Erikson’s
theory proposed that social aspects are what shaped an individual’s identity (Batra, 2013). The
key idea within each of the stages is to have a balance of both the positive and negative attributes
represented in a way that would provide a particular “human strength” (Capps, 2012, p. 270).
Infancy and Childhood: Attachment
I was born into this world with no delay or complications. I was born close to my due
date and weighed in at 7lb 13oz. My mother breastfed me throughout infancy, and informed me
that I met each developmental milestone with ease. Throughout her pregnancy, she experienced
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 4
excessive stress and anxiety. My father, having been married and divorced twice already, left my
mother once she became pregnant. He did not want to enter into another marriage, for fear of
another failure. Eventually, he came back into the picture a few months before I was born and
they married. It has been noted through research that anxiety and stress during pregnancy can
produce negative effects cognitively on the child. Psychiatric disorders including depression,
anxiety, and behavioral problems, can be influenced by prenatal exposure to stress and anxiety
(Davis, Glynn, Waffarn, & Sandman, 2011). One observation suggests these effects may be
brought on from the disruption to HPA axis functioning that occurs (Davis, et al., 2011, p. 127).
Together, the prenatal and postnatal environments contribute to setting the stage for potential
disorders to occur in a child.
Psychosocial developments are a direct result of establishing early, secure attachments.
Both Bowlby and Erikson agreed that the reinforcement toward an infant of a positive attitude
toward others and oneself promotes security (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). My parents were my
attachment figures as a child. My father struggled with substance abuse addiction in the first few
years of my life until he went on a ten-year dry drunk spell. My mother was a loving,
overprotective parent in the beginning stages of my life. In spite of my father’s addiction, it was
said I was a daddy’s girl and always received love and attention from him. My mother was
responsive to my basic needs, however, she admits to always having immense feelings of
insecurity, fear, and anxiety herself throughout her life. Her overall sense of identity was not
happy, secure, or mature, which influenced the level of trust from the get-go (Batra, 2013).
Though I was too small as an infant and toddler to remember this, the effects of her fears would
soon be evident, as I grew older. My mother was a stay at home mom, and responded
immediately and regularly to my basic needs and cries forming an initial sense of trust and
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 5
security as Bowlby and Erikson proposed to be important (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015).
Additionally, my mother described me as a relatively easy baby, in that I was normal in my
rhythms and had consistent, regular sleep patterns (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015).
Childhood Development and Parenting Style
In early childhood, as my myelination was increasing, the desire to explore the limits of
the world around me on my own terms, was in full swing (Batra, 2013). I was a strong willed
girl from the beginning, as my parents stated. Erikson brings forth autonomy versus shame and
doubt in the second stage in development. In the attempt to “express their anal-urethal-muscular
mode, they are likely to find a culture that attempts to inhibit some of their self expression (Feist
& Feist, 2009, p. 253). It seemed at this stage of my life, a basic trust had been met, which led
me to have a healthy faith in myself, along with the ability to not have a complete tantrum in the
face of a mild psychosocial crisis. (Feist & Feist, 2009).
Throughout early childhood, my parents did their best to uphold a semi-normal
atmosphere in our home. During the play age, between 3-6 years, Erikson’s third stage of
initiative and guilt was in motion. When I was three years of age, my first brother was born and
another would arrive two years later. Additionally, I had two older stepbrothers that came to live
with us for a short time. At this stage, the conscious was beginning to form and attachment to
labels including what is right and wrong in actions, presented the foundation for my “cornerstone
of morality” (Feist & Feist, 2009, p. 253). My parents admit to having no spiritual tools in
coping with life and were basically left to their own resources to raise us. Having come from
dysfunctional and chaotic homes themselves, this was a tall order. The roots of chaos would soon
seep into the home and eventually the floodgates would reach a point of collapse. Around the
mid-eighties, my father decided he would immerse himself into the role as a “dad.” The time he
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 6
spent with his children increased and he became actively involved in raising my brothers and me
and showed up for the various events and activities we were involved in. My mother and my
father’s relationship was more of a forced effort in which they both admit to masking their way
through the journey of marriage and children.
The parenting style I experienced throughout childhood was a mix between authoritarian
with a low responsiveness and permissive with a low on demandingness. I reaped the side effects
as Broderick and Blewitt (2015) described from these two styles in that I did not experience a
healthy emotional atmosphere in the home, and I had incredible internal insecurities tied with
emotional issues. I wore those insecurities like a tight garment. Though my mother initially
expressed love in my beginning years, and my father was actively present in my childhood, deep
down I could sense that something was not right which instilled fear and insecurity as far back as
I can remember. Negative reinforcement was a pattern that began at a young age. My mother
would threaten consequences when I would misbehave but would never adhere or follow
through. Instead, she would eventually give in and appease me out of annoyance. Patterson
suggests that this pattern “strengthens the child’s coercive interaction style, which in time and
repetition can become the predominant mode of communication (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p.
195). Looking back, I can concur with Patterson’s further remarks in that deep down, what I
really craved was structure and boundaries that would provide a sense of security (Broderick &
Blewitt, 2015). From an early age, my communication skills were proving to be lacking in
forming in a healthy and constructive manner.
My parents had their own mental and emotional struggles, as well as marital conflict
leaving my brothers and I to develop our own coping skills and establish personal morals for
ourselves. My parents said I was not a shy child, rather was very outgoing. My mother said
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 7
something differently occurred in me after fourth grade. This took place during the fourth play
age stage, of industry versus inferiority, which occurs between age six and twelve years (Feist &
Feist, 2009). I had been sent to a private school after an altercation of which someone punched
me in the stomach at the public school I attended. Instead of making things better, it got worse.
At nine years old, I felt like an outcast, as all of the other children came from wealth and their
parents seemed to flaunt it around as the key to being worthy. At least, this is how I perceived it,
and my mother as well. I felt anything but worthy and certainly did not feel smart or equal
amongst my classmates. We did not come from money, and were in fact quite the opposite, as we
were swimming in debt. My mother’s spending habits were poor and excessive and she often
kept secrets from my father and forged his name to gain credit cards without his knowledge. The
effects of their unstable marriage were not hidden from my brothers and I, and I longed to feel
normal, as I perceived other families outside of my home were. I usually only kept a couple close
friends in my early and middle childhood, as there were trust barriers and the feeling of not
belonging was imbedded in my thought. I lacked communication skills, and did not feel
accepted by my peers. The egocentrism I possessed from my minimal perspective did not evolve
into maturity, and any friendships I did have after this significant event in my life, would feel
artificial (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). There was always a level of mistrust involved, as I
steadily watched my parents break one another’s trust. Insecurity was propelled through the
fabric of my existence.
In early adolescence, stage 2 of Selman’s stages of friendship development, I was well
aware of the fact that others had a perception of me (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). I began using a
mask at this stage and attempted to conform my behaviors and attitudes to others so that they
would like me. I was what Selman describes as “self-transforming”, in that I would give in and
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 8
do anything to avoid conflict, with a personality that was conforming to what I thought my
friends wanted (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). My parent’s marriage was escalating into complete
failure and their focus began to shift more onto each other and less onto their children. At the end
of my early adolescence, my father would find out that my mother had spent over forty thousand
dollars without his consent and secretly forged his signature to obtain the credit do so. My
mother, caught in the act, became very emotionally abusive to him and her children.
Additionally, it was unraveled that she was having an affair. I had known this, after listening to a
phone call between her and her lover, and kept it a secret. I began to resent my mother and didn’t
want anything to do with her. Though, I did not feel as if I fit in with friends, I began on a
desperate mission to find them and be accepted. I would often mold my actions toward what I
thought would gain acceptance by my peers. I did anything and everything possible to avoid
disagreements and conflict with fellow peers. With hormonal changes beginning to take place, I
did not have a healthy sense of my own identity and felt as if I lacked the tools to deal with life,
creating a sense of inadequacy (Batra, 2013)
In later stages of early adolescence, I began having obsessive behaviors. I attempted to
keep these behaviors a secret. Some of these behaviors included mentally counting in my head to
a specific number repetitiously, laying objects down in a slanted position, touching things with
both hands, and having to walk a certain way. For instance, if I was in a store and walked past a
rack of clothes and it did not feel right, I would have to turn around and walk a different path to
relieve anxiety. Studies have shown that these behaviors could stem from internalizing anxiety
result once depression has set in (Marsden & Chowdry, 2009). The World Health Organization
states that obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common psychiatric illness that affects
children as young as six years old as well as adolescents, and is rated in the top twenty
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 9
debilitating diseases (Marsden & Chowdry, 2009). Approximately one out of one hundred
children experience these symptoms (Marsden & Chowdry, 2009). My memory of the thoughts
that came were that they were repetitive and intrusive and created feelings of discomfort and
incompleteness. After speaking with my mother, in doing this paper, I learned that she too had
the same symptoms throughout her life. Mine would eventually dissipate over the years.
In the spiritual realm, I had a very diluted idea of God. My parents dropped my off at a
Methodist church sometimes for Sunday school and various youth events. I remember being
fascinated about idea of God and what it meant. Although, I do remember feeling as if I was not
good enough or could possibly be accepted because of my inability to live up holy standards.
After all, all of the other families that went to church appeared normal and mine was not. My
idea of God was that He was very distant. Additionally, my view if Him began to evolve around
those claiming to be representatives of Him.
Adolescence and Parenting Style
The adolescence stage of my life was the primary stepping-stone to what would catapult
me into emerging adulthood with absolutely no healthy tools available in coping with life. In
Erikson’s identity versus identity confusion stage, it would be apparent that the latter was
reigning in my life (Feist & Feist, 2009). My friends always thought my parents were awesome
because I could basically do whatever I wanted with little to no boundaries. Deep down, I felt as
if they didn’t care about me. My mother was emotionally abusive as a result of feelings she had
toward my father but I always took it personal. She would tell me that my father wanted to have
an abortion with me. I despised her for that. My father was an alcoholic, but became a dry drunk
for most of my childhood. When he began drinking and using other substances again, it became
acceptable for my brothers and I in our pre-teens to participate in drinking and drugging. On top
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 10
of that, one of my brothers overdosed and died from cocaine when I was thirteen years old. I will
never forget peering out my bedroom window as my father pulled into the driveway from work
that day and my little brother running out to tell him the news. I later found out that my father
was suicidal and his substance use escalated. Throughout my high school years, I drifted
progressively and rapidly from being a popular student with experimentation of drugs and
alcohol to being considered alienated in that the majority of my time was invested in heavy
substance abuse and delinquency (Broderick & Blewett, 2015). When I was fifteen years of age,
my parents got a divorce and it was drawn out and ugly. I did everything I could to stay far from
home, began partying hard, and left home for good at age seventeen. The turmoil, confusion, and
chaos that was consistent in my home, set the tone for me perceiving it as an unsafe place,
leaving it likely and common for a teenager like me to venture far away (Burn & Szoeke, 2016).
Aligning to what Broderick and Blewitt (2015) say, I sought autonomy from my parents and
drew toward my fellow peers. With a complete frameworklessness, I began the attribute
substitution process, seeking characteristics and attitudes in the attempt to form my identity
(Broderick and Blewett, 2015). The risk-taking behavior I took on was extreme, from excessive
substance abuse, irresponsible sexual behaviors, school misconduct, disobeying parents, and
even criminal acts. Little did I know, the tremendous price I would pay to my soul for
compromising all morals and values in favor of excessive risk taking and sensation seeking.
Though it is more likely for males to experience risk taking behavior than females, because of
the “limbic and paralimbic systems that takes place at puberty” (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p.
394), I ended up falling in this category backed by the broad socialization of having no
responsibility and unlimited freedom. The careless path I embarked led me to an arrest with the
law and having two abortions between the ages of sixteen and seventeen. Studies have suggested
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 11
that abortion can be linked to “substance abuse/dependence, major depression, bipolar disorder,
and PTSD” (Coleman, Coyle, Shuping, & Rue, 2009, p. 774). I made had little difficulty in
making the decision to have the abortions before and during my senior year of high school, and
no moral attachment, leaving me susceptible for substance abuse addition, as a means to numb
feelings when they would later arise (Coleman et al., 2009).
Where God was concerned, I wanted nothing to do with Him. He was faded in the back
of my memory like a distant thought. There was a group of students that would gather before
school began and have a Bible Study. I would make fun of them, with others, labeling them as
the God squad. I couldn’t understand why some would choose to met up and pray and attempt to
live godly when it was way more fun to misbehave.
Somehow, I managed to skate through high school and receive a diploma. The academic
support I received from my parents and teachers was non-existent. I was aware that some of my
teachers had crossed a line with drinking with students, changing grades to enable athletes, and
participated in favoritism. My parents never asked for a report card or made me aware that
education was important, nor instilled the idea of college. It was evident that my life did not meet
the criteria necessary and lacked emotional support for educational progress (Broderick &
Blewitt, 2015, p. 394). It is obvious, I was nowhere near holding a stable identity, so a quest to
find one would continue through many trial and errors including leaving the home of my parents,
more substance abuse, an eating disorder, relationships, and many other experimental solutions I
would come up with in the attempt to satisfy the void within. Bulimia, the eating disorder I
would engage in from the age of eighteen until twenty-nine is said to result from “psychiatric
conditions like depression, anxiety, and substance abuse” (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p. 362),
and be linked with having a skewed body image and a low self worth (Broderick & Blewitt,
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 12
2015, p. 362). Prone to impulsive behavior and substance abuse, bulimics can fall into the pattern
of becoming dependent upon the disorder in order to “regulate dysphoric moods” and are known
to come from families with parental under control and conflict” (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p.
362). This statement would certainly line up with my background.
Young Adulthood
Sociologists have suggested various marker events defining adulthood such as finishing
school, gaining a career, leaving the residence of parents, marriage, and becoming a parent
(Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p. 394). When I turned seventeen years old, I left home for good,
worked three jobs, and partied like a rock star. One of the jobs I held was in a restaurant, which
would eventually become my work home for the next twenty years. Being in the achieving stage
of developing cognitively, according to Shaie, I was left with my immature intellectual skills
combined with my self-made coping tools to accomplish my life-long goals (Broderick &
Blewitt, 2015, p. 394). My experiences were limited to the surroundings of a party-lifestyle and a
faulty view of what life was about.
The pathways of risk I experienced in childhood would continue throughout
emerging adulthood. Though depression was an element that I may have attained and held onto
at an early age, I would not be diagnosed with is until twenty-eight years of age after a tornado of
destruction to myself as well as those around me. Depression was already a likely factor for me
because of my gender, parent’s divorce and dysfunction, emotional abuse, and moving out of my
home at age seventeen (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p. 394). My adult identity was being formed
by a series of unfortunate events coincided with my irrational beliefs. Additionally, a healthy
diet, behaviors, and exercise were non-existent in my life at this stage of development, as a result
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 13
of “poor application of problem-solving skills and continued feelings of invulnerability”
(Broderick & Blewitt, 2015, p. 435).
Previously, I mentioned that I gained a restaurant job that I would remain at for twenty
years. At this job, I acquired the lifestyle that life was a big party and I thought I had finally
arrived at happiness. I married the restaurant owner at age twenty and had a daughter five
months later. The fact that I was in the forgotten half of 18-24 year olds that didn’t go on to
college didn’t seem to matter at this point because I truly believed I had stumbled into ultimate
success and was accomplishing life’s goals (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). Though I believed I
loved my husband and children, my sense and perception of love was warped. A mature love was
non-existent at this point in my life, creating a sense of isolation, even though financially and
sociably, there was an appearance of success (Feist & Feist, 2009). There were many “unrealized
and unfulfilled preadolescent and adolescent conflicts” (Batra, 2013, p. 269) in my life both
social and personal.
In 2002, at age twenty-four, I set out on a quest for self and ventured off to culinary
school. I left my children for the week over a one-year period, traveling home on the weekends
as I was fulfilling a passion to find “me.” This is where my addiction to alcohol kicked in.
Having the freedom to do as I pleased during the week, my drinking escalated. Over the next
four years, a dark path of detoxes, hospitalizations, jails, institutions, and a suicide attempt would
result from my distorted mindset and reckless behaviors, wreaking havoc in the lives of all
around me. I knew I was slipping deeper and deeper into a pit of despair, but continued on. Being
that I come from a family riddled with addiction, I took on this identity as if it was something I
did not choose or could choose out of. A change of some sort needed to happen, as death was
knocking on the door. In the midst of this despair and inner turmoil, I witnessed my father have a
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 14
spiritual experience and his life changed overnight, claiming that he accepted Jesus Christ as His
Lord and Savior. I knew in that moment it was something of which no human power or
explanation could have relieved him of. I believed it to be supernatural but didn’t understand that
it was something that I could have access to. I thought of it as something that zapped itself into
him and believed I simply wasn’t chosen. With Erikson’s eight psychosocial stages presented,
and my personal experience with passing through each stage, it would appear as if the outlook
would be grim. If my personality was engraved by my history, biology, culture, and
surroundings, then there needed to be a profound turning point in my life in order for any
possibility of a strengthened, healthy personality.
On September 3 2006, I was arrested and incarcerated for nineteen days. This
rd
was the day I took my last drink of alcohol or any mind-altering substance. After completely
exhausting all of my own resources, and having no plans left I received the gift of desperation. I
cried out to God and told Him that if He wanted me alive and to move forward in life, the He
would have to take me, all of me. That is exactly what He did. I reached the end of myself, and
realized I lacked all willpower needed to find a way out of the life I was living, and I felt a new
sense of Power come alive and active inside me. In that moment, I was “born again.” It was as if
I reverted back to the infant stage of Erikson’s psychosocial stages. I established life on a new
footing, and “achieved a basic trust in the goodness or dependability of God” (Tate & Parker,
2007, p. 219). The fact that an unfulfilled longing had been fulfilled in a supernatural way, goes
beyond psychological means but Romans 8:10 (King James Version) states that it is the Spirit of
God that makes it possible (Tate & Parker, 2007).
The spiritual experience I experienced would not have proved enough to magically
change my course of life. I knew I had to keep close to this vital Source I had tapped into.
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 15
Through gaining spiritual mentors, attending church, reading the Bible, and going through the
Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have begun the process of continued self-inventory,
and going through the developmental stages all over again with God involved. For instance, the
sense of willpower establishing self-control was replaced by achieving the Power to exert my
will through God. He enabled me to reframe my thinking and continues to expose faulty thinking
and beliefs I have accrued over the years. The prior fear that had corroded my being was
replaced by faith with produced hope. This newfound sense of purpose has been kept in place
and has grown as a result of “pursuing spiritual goals such as praying, mediating, reaching out to
others, and being attentive to God’s direction without being driven or paralyzed by guilt in
pursuing them,” (Tate & Parker, 2007, p. 219), allowing success in the third stage of initiative vs.
guilt. Feelings of inadequacy and discouragement were replaced with competence established in
the fourth stage of spiritual development. A new sense of identity had been established and I was
beginning to emerge into the person I was created to be in the fifth stage of identity vs. identity
confusion. I began to understand that my identity was in my “specific role as a member of the
body of Christ” (1 Corinthians 12) (Tate & Parker, 2007, p. 220). A true capacity to love came as
a result of knowing God loves (1 John 4:19) as in the sixth stage of intimacy vs. isolation.
Sharing my experience, strength, and hope, as I learned to do in recovery, with those who are
struggling, line up with James 5:10, and has allowed tremendous growth in continuing to do so.
By choosing to stay connected to others who are going in the same spiritual path as me and
continuing my relationship with Jesus Christ coupled with allowing God to work out the lies that
have been established in my belief system and replacing them with Truth, my previous
developmental destiny has been replaced.
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 16
Conclusion
Erik Erikson once stated that, “the will cannot be trained until hope is secure, nor can
love become reciprocal until fidelity has proven reliable” (Capps, 2012, p. 282). Interestingly
enough, the grace that I stumbled upon led me to believe that I had gained access to a sustaining
hope that is “an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrew 6:19, New International Version).
All of the developmental milestones and challenges along the way have all proved to be stepping
stones to get me to where I am today. In fact, it is my greatest trials that have served to be my
greatest assets. Today, my current lifestyle reflects a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I’m
able to serve him and have purpose with a new mindset and reaching out to serve His people.
DEVELOPMENTAL ANALYSIS 17
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