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EQ REFLECTION ESSAY
EQ Reflection Essay
Lauren Smith
Liberty University
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EQ REFLECTION ESSAY
Introduction
Emotional intelligence is defined by Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greeves in their
work, “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”, as, “… the ability to recognize and understand emotions in
yourself and others and use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships”
(Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). The knowledge that accompanies emotional intelligence is
especially important because it allows one to successfully navigate relationships in both the
corporate and private world with professionalism and maturity. As a leader, emotional
intelligence can make a world of difference. When utilized correctly, emotional intelligence can
form connections, foster relationships, and teach skills that hold a lifetime of application.
EQ and Leadership
Emotional intelligence is founded on two areas of competence: personal and social.
Within each area, there are two more arenas of mastery. Personal competence requires self-
awareness and self-management skills, and social competence requires social awareness and
relationship management skills. Together, these four skills complete one’s emotional intelligence,
and a deficit in any one of these skills could spell trouble.
First, self-awareness is defined as, “the ability to accurately perceive emotions in the
moment” (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). This could look like reading a friend’s body language
and interpreting that they are upset about something or realizing that you are anxious before a
test. This step in the journey to emotional intelligence is important, because people far too often
lash out emotionally or make rash decisions because they have not taken the time to truly
perceive what they are feeling in the moment. Leaders in particular should remain aware of
themselves in order to manage their emotions well. The Bible even encourages self-awareness by
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EQ REFLECTION ESSAY
commanding believers to, “…take every thought captive to obey Christ” (English Standard
Version Bible, 2001 1 Corinthians 10:5). ,
Second, self-management is, “…the ability to use emotional awareness to stay flexible
and positively direct behavior” (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). This pillar of emotional
intelligence encourages one to direct negative emotions to a neutral space, not unlike a lightning
rod. In fact, “Habitudes: The Art of Connecting with Others” by Dr. Tim Elmore states that
leaders are the “… most likely to be criticized” (Elmore, 2006), meaning they must be experts in
managing their emotions and choosing professionalism over emotionally charged reactions.
Social awareness, the third principle of emotional intelligence, is defined as, “…the
ability to accurately pick up on others’ emotions and understand what is really going on under
the surface” (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). This could look like noticing that your friend is
upset and forming a connection between their emotions and the fight you had earlier that day.
Social awareness can be a difficult skill to master, but it is a very valuable one, as it can quickly
foster connections and create conversations with others. However, being a leader, social
awareness cannot be limited to merely observation. Once an emotion is observed or a connection
is made, leaders are obligated to reach out and engage in a conversation. Finally, relationship
management is, “… the ability to use awareness of your emotions and others’ to successfully
manage interactions” (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). This is the ultimate application of previous
skills, all culminating in the arena of relationships, where emotional intelligence is most often
used.
EQ Test Results
After taking the emotional intelligence test, I received an overall score of 58 out of 100,
followed by a breakdown of my scores in each area of emotional intelligence. I received a score
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EQ REFLECTION ESSAY
of 56 for personal competence, with a 60 in self-awareness and a 51 in self-management. I agree
with this assessment of my personal competence, because I often notice that I am upset and
acting on my emotions before I even know what I am feeling. Under social competence, I
received a score of 60 overall, with a 54 in social awareness and a 65 in relationship
management. I also agree with this assessment, and believe I got a higher score when it comes to
relationships because I tend to put others before me, even if it comes as a detriment to myself.
The habits that brought my score down the most, according to the test, were acting out when I
am upset, resisting change, and letting stress get the better of me. However, to remedy these
responses, it was recommended that I practice sleeping on things, accept that change is just
around the corner, and put a mental recharge in my calendar. I intend to implement these
strategies and see if they are helpful to me in pursuing a higher level of emotional intelligence,
and if they are not, I would be open to searching for new strategies in the book and the website to
see if they help.
Personal Application
Overall, I agree with the test’s evaluation of my emotional intelligence. I still have a lot to
learn about myself and how I function in relationships, as well as how to recognize and
appropriately respond to my emotions. As I seek to reflect the heart of Christ in my relationships,
I must also seek emotional intelligence, because Christ encouraged emotional intelligence! The
Bible encourages believers to, “Look carefully then how [they] walk, not as unwise but as wise”
(English Standard Version Bible, 2001, Ephesians 5:15). This applies to all areas of wisdom,
including emotional intelligence! I hope to continue to grow in emotional intelligence as I seek
Christ and learn more about myself.
Conclusion
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EQ REFLECTION ESSAY
Emotional intelligence is a multi-faceted concept that applies to all areas of life, both
personal and social, private and corporate. It utilizes various levels or emotional awareness and
management to assess an individual’s inherent intelligence when it comes to their emotions and
relationships. When utilized correctly, it can be the knowledge that bridges the gaps between the
people around us, creating spaces for conversation and forming meaningful connections that last.
This level of intelligence is especially important to leaders, because it allows them to interact
with others on a more personal level, building trust and establishing a positive reputation.
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References
Bradberry, T. and Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart,
Incorporated.
Elmore, T. (2006). Habitudes: . Growing Leaders,The art of connecting with others
Incorporated.
English Standard Version Bible. (2001). ESV Online. https://esv.literalword.com/.
