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Claudia Moss
Professor Grant
English 101-047
25 September 2021
Why Marriage Matters
Marriage is for the common good and the best for human development. All men want to
be happy, but as we grow, we need the necessary structure to develop and be well-rounded
individuals who work for the good of self and others. Marriage then is the foundation to good
human development, and the better this covenant is lived, the better the children will be;
therefore, the better society will be.
When discussing marriage, many would argue that it is unnecessary or an old idea that
does not give anything. Why marry if people can live with someone and have "almost" a
marriage? Why marry and be in a total commitment when living with someone I "love" but
without attachments? All these ideas form part of what many people think and live. Marriage
seems to be useless or outdated. It is not just a name but an institution at the core of social
development and human development. In a journal article by Courtney Walsh, she talks about
"The Role of Emotional Capital During the Early Years of Marriage." She states that with studies
of "emotional capital," the accumulation of shared positive moments between a man and a
woman in a relationship should serve as an "essential resource" for protecting the relationship
against threats (pp. 513-519). Human beings are social. We are born, grow, and learn in society.
We form communities, not for our selfish good but for the common good.
In our families, we learn the ideas of responsibility, commitment, love, forgiveness, self-
giving, and sacrifice. We learn how to live with and for others. It is proven that kids that grow in
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a well-formed and rounded family have more success and better moral life. In a journal article by
David Ribar, he talks about "Why Marriage Matters for Child Wellbeing." He states that
marriage between two parents, compared with other family living arrangements, appears, on
average, to enhance children's wellbeing and development (p.11). I am not saying that those who
do not have it are horrible and are doomed to failure, but it makes it more accessible. The
argument is not for the minimum but for the well-being of children. Marriage is one of the
essential structures because it is at the core of the structure, where everything begins. In a
conference by the USCCB, they talked about social science findings on marriage, stating that
marriage is the children's most outstanding social educator. The institution that most effectively
teaches the civic virtues of honesty, loyalty, trust. Nonetheless, it seems to be disappearing with
how people behave and think. We can grow and learn about true love, self-giving, life-long
commitment (P3,28). It is there that we have an example of faithful self-giving and responsibility
—something that does not change, stable but not without difficulties.
A child deserves to grow knowing his parents, history, culture, and whom he belongs to.
The family is not something we invent but something powerful that begins with marriage. A man
and a woman join for life until death. No matter what comes in the way, "I will be there for you,"
kind of deal. How different would our lives be if we would all think to serve and give? We have
lost it because the marriage bond has been under attack, and also the family. In a journal article
by Paul Amato and Jacob Cheadle, they both talk about "The Long Reach of Divorce: Divorce
and Child Well-Being across Three Generations." Amato and Cheadle both talk about how
multiple varieties of things may come with divorces, especially for children. They state that
"divorce is often accompanied by a variety of stressful events and circumstances, such as
continuing discord between parents, moving to new neighborhoods, changing schools, parental
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remarriage, and additional parental divorces (Amato, 2000). Exposure to these stressors can
disrupt children's efforts to learn and do well in school" (p.192, para 2). This is not about perfect
relationships of people who never disagree or never fight. On the contrary, it is about two
different people who can live with one another, forgive and respect and disagree, but with the
solid conviction that they are given to one another. It is the same as in any social structure. Even
friendship is based on self-giving. Where do we learn and see this? In our parents. In the family,
children can flourish and learn the values necessary to live in society and do what needs to be
done. But why not cohabitating parents? Aren't they the same? Well no. It seems to be the same,
but the problem is that there is no real commitment.
After living together for a while, couples can be in a union of facts, but it is not ratified
until they commit for life. That commitment to being there no matter what is what marriage is
and teaches. It is all about a serious lifelong commitment to stay not because it pleases me or my
good, not that it excludes it, but for the common good. It is for the good of society that couples
stay together. They can take care of each other when older, they can help sustain their life in the
economic sense, and they can flourish as human beings, being with someone who has been there
with them for long. It is something that all aspire no matter if one agrees or not, with the idea of
marriage. No one aspires to have a non-committed relationship for life and be old and alone. It is
a normal thing for human beings to commit and be stable. God makes commitments to us
because that is how we understand. To be in college requires a commitment to stay and finish.
Our lives are based on this silent agreement to which we ascent by doing. How much more
important is this for the fundamental institution of society? In reference to understanding lifelong
commitment, people must understand their flaws. In a reading of "Holy Scripture speaks" By
Pabel Hilmar and Vessey Mark, they state that we must see ourselves as imperfect in a physical
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matter, of acting and speaking, to pass along the word of God (CCSL 121). One must understand
themselves before being able to make commitments.
It would not work in society if people decided to be part of society and its functions until
it pleases them. Nothing would work if each individual just used the system without real
commitment to obey the laws and give. Even entering into college, buying a house, or working
requires commitment. It is the most natural thing we do, and we do not even think about it, but
we learn it in the marriage bond. The commitment to be part of society is expressed in voting,
paying taxes. In marriage, it is voiced in the marital vows and then lived. It is in that life of the
couple that children can learn commitment and lifegiving structure.
Society needs life-giving and people who are willing to sacrifice. It is at the core that
marriage indeed matters. It brings a good foundation for the common good and brings well-being
for all, especially for children. Without marriage, where would we be, where would we go.
Human beings are created for greatness, but we all must know how to get to greatness and what
is attached. The more society becomes dysfunctional, the fewer people talk about the accurate
idea of marriage and how essential it is. This is why it is most important to discuss and promote
marriage.
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Outline
Claudia Moss
Prof. Grant
ENGL 101-047
24 September 2021
Why Marriage Matters
Thesis: Marriage is for the common good and the best for human development. All men want to
be happy, but as we grow, we need the necessary structure to develop and be well-rounded
individuals who work for the good of self and others. Marriage then is the foundation to good
human development, and the better this covenant is lived, the better the children will be;
therefore, the better society will be.
I. When discussing marriage, many would argue that it is unnecessary or an old
idea that does not give anything.
a. Marriage seems to be useless or outdated. It is not just a name but an
institution at the core of social development and human development.
b. Human beings are social. We are born, grow, and learn in society. We form
communities, not for our selfish good but for the common good.
II. A child deserves to grow knowing his parents, history, culture, and who he
belongs with.
a. How different would our lives be if we would all think to serve and give? We
have lost it because the marriage bond has been under attack, and also the family.
b. Where do we learn and see this? In our parents. In the family, children can
flourish and learn the values necessary to live in society and do what needs to be.
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III. After living together for a while, a couple can be in a union of facts, but it
is not ratified until they commit for life.
a. They can take care of each other when older, they can help to sustain their
life in the economical sense, and they can flourish as human beings, being with
someone who has been there with them for long.
B. God makes commitments to us because that is how we understand. Even to be
in college requires commitment to stay and finish. Our lives are based on this
silent agreement to which we ascent by doing. How much more important is this
for the basic institution of society?
C- Society needs life giving and people who are willing to sacrifice and give. It is
at the core
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Works Cited
Hilmar, Pabel and Vessy Mark. “Holy Scripture Speaks The Production and Reception of
Erasmus’ Paraphrases on the New Testament”. University of Toronto Press, 2002. ProQuest
Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/liberty/detail.action?docID=4671594
Saint Irenaeus. “God’s Plan Expanded”. Deep Understanding. (para.8). Catholic
MarriagePrep. https://www.catholicmarriageprep.com/books/111-online-course/one/364-god-s-
plan-expanded
The Institute for the Advanced Study of Religion, p.3,28, 2002,
http://pewforum.org/publications/reports/marriagepolicy.pdf https://www.usccb.org/issues-and-
action/marriage-and-family/marriage/upload/USCCB-FLWY-How-Does-Society-Benefit-From-
Strong-Marriages.pdf
Ribar, David C. “Why Marriage Matters for Child Wellbeing.” The Future of Children,
vol. 25, no. 2, Princeton University, 2015, pp. 11–27, http://www.jstor.org/stable/4358197
Amato, Paul R., and Jacob Cheadle. “The Long Reach of Divorce: Divorce and Child
Well-Being across Three Generations.” Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 67, no. 1, [Wiley,
National Council on Family Relations], 2005, pp. 191–206, http://www.jstor.org/stable/3600145
Walsh, Courtney M. “The Role of Emotional Capital During the Early Years of Marriage: Why
Everyday Moments Matter.” Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 31, no. 4, American
Psychological Association, 2017, pp. 513–19, doi:10.1037/fam0000277
