MARRIAGE THERAPISTS INTERVIEW 2
Marriage Therapist Interview
All marriages face challenges that may result in a desire to dissolve the union. However,
counseling, and other services can be sought to encourage marriage stability and sustainability.
This paper describes an interview with Andria Burns, a mental health professional, on the issues,
models, and techniques she uses to help couples with their marriage and relationship problems.
Ms. Burns is a professional psychologist and social worker. She has worked with children
and families for over 17 years. Her positions seek to stabilize and support families by offering
counsel and therapy. She is well informed on issues and problems that impact individuals,
couples, and thus the family and how to solve them effectively to support stability.
What are the three most presented issues observed when couples come for counseling?
While most couples are impacted by many of the same issues, each has different
dynamics that influence them. Ms. Burns reports that most of the issues she addresses with
couples surround finances, infidelity, and role identification. Ms. Burns advised that most people
are more alike than different. She informed that we all come from homes where we were shaped,
modeled, and taught. She further advised that all homes and families are different, and when we
blend them within a marriage relationship, some things blend well, and others do not, and this is
where most problems or issues arise.
Couples often have financial issues because of their understanding and relationship with
finances. The marriage relationship may have one financially responsible partner and one
irresponsible partner. Marriage may also have two unreliable or accountable partners. No matter
the make-up, a new financial understanding and relationship must be developed within the union
to support the marriage relationship. The single financial plan or previous family financial plan
cannot keep the relationship because it involves new players. This seems simple but is very hard
MARRIAGE THERAPISTS INTERVIEW 3
for many couples because it requires change and relinquishing authority and accountability to
another about finances.
It is likewise with infidelity as many behaviors are learned, deemed acceptable, or
excusable within some families or cultures. Similarly, with roles within the marriage relationship
also they are often learned from what had been modeled (Hou et al., 2019). However, every
marriage is different, and what works or is acceptable for one may not be for another. Mark 10:8
says, "And they twain shall be one flesh: so, then they are no more twain, but one flesh" (King
James Bible, 1769/2017, Mark 10:8). Couple should seek counsel before and during marriage to
address issues and concerns throughout the intertwining process.
The becoming one is moving away from previous family and or single life and joining
with a spouse. This joining is a work that will take time, commitment, and many other Godly
characteristics. The good thing is God designed marriage and knows what makes it successful,
and he is willing to work with us to support fulfillment of it.
Theoretical Orientation and Models Incorporated into the Counseling Process
Ms. Burns incorporates various models in the counseling process, she shared two. The
first is person-centered therapy. She advises that she often starts with this therapy because it
emphasizes the client's strengths and perceptions about him or herself. Starting treatment
positively describing the client's strengths, makes them comfortable, and encourages relaxation.
The therapy provides the opportunity to hear the client's perception of themselves. This is very
important as scripture says Proverbs 23:7, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink,
saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee" (King James Bible, 1769/2017, Proverb 23:7). The
verse support that a man is what is in his heart, so what he thinks about himself, reflects his
MARRIAGE THERAPISTS INTERVIEW 4
actions. So having a good understanding of a person's strengths and what he believes about
himself is crucial to understanding issues impacting the relationship.
Secondly, she often applies the cognitive behavior therapy approach. Ms. Burns believes
that behavior reflects their thoughts. Therefore, when couples think they can remain married,
their actions follow their beliefs. The counseling process is used to replace negative concepts
with positive ones that influence them accordingly. This therapy is beneficial for couples
considering marriage termination. The treatment allows partners to be reminded of why they
were married to their partners and what changed their minds (Hayden et al., 2018). The therapy
enables couples to implement safeguards for future challenges. Situations and circumstances in
life affect attitude and commitment to relationships, and therapy can help to overcome and
promote appropriate behavior to accommodate a healthy marriage relationship (Butts & Gutierrez,
2018).
Tools and Techniques the Therapist Utilizes
Ms. Burns employs different techniques but primarily implements listening and a
solution-focused approach. Listening approaches allow couples to state the problematic issue,
and their spouse listens. The process encourages identification of issues while encouraging
communication (Shafran-Tikva & Kluger, 2018). The method can be timely yet very beneficial.
It requires the couple to possess reflective skills, which may also take time to learn. James 1:19
says ‘Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to
wrath:" (King James Bible, 1769/2017, James 1:19). Scripture supports listening and learning to
hear what others are saying.
The solution-focused method is applied to solve specifics problem threatening marriages.
The approach addresses minor issues that add to more significant ones. The advantage is it
MARRIAGE THERAPISTS INTERVIEW 5
presents small wins for the couples and encourages progress toward more critical matters.
However, the system is not ideal for long-term or essential problems.
How does the therapist address/manage couples who are considering separation, divorce,
and remarriage?
Ms. Burns advised that couples often seek counsel when considering divorce. She
informed that this might be the only counseling the couple sought throughout the relationship.
Proverb 12:15 says, "the way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto
counsel is wise" (King James Bible, 1769/2017, James 1:19). Marriage is a significant
relationship that requires counsel prior and during the relationship. Unfortunately, couples often
do not seek counsel due to guilt and shame associated with their problems. Ms. Burns
encourages premarital counseling and marriage support groups or mentors. She aims to help
couples restore their marriage using biblical principles and applications to help resolve issues
and problems to sustain the relationship.
What role does faith play, and how are biblical principles integrated with the counseling
process?
A person's belief is critical to success with all the approaches, techniques, and theories.
She incorporates biblical principles and journaling to address marital issues and stressors
(McClocklin & Lengelle, 2018). She encourages partners to support one another's well-being and to
avoid divisions.
Marriage therapy is a practical approach to restoring a marriage. However, for treatment
to be effective, practitioners should be knowledgeable and experienced and able to use
techniques and models to help the couple. Therapy enables couples to learn practical solutions to
the problems; and effective approaches to promoting healthy marriage relationships.
MARRIAGE THERAPISTS INTERVIEW 6
References
Butts, M. & Gutierrez, D. (2018). Using acceptance and commitment therapy to
(re)conceptualize stress appraisal. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 40(2), p. 95–112. DOI:
10.17744/mehc.40.2.01.
Hayden, M. C., Müllauer, P. K., Gaugeler, R., Senft, B. & Andreas, S., (2018). Improvements in
mentalization predict improvements in interpersonal distress in patients with mental
disorders. Journal of Clinical Psychology,74(12).
Hou, Y., Jiang, F., & Wang, X. (2019). Marital commitment, communication and marital satisfaction: An
analysis based on actor-partner interdependence model. International Journal of Psychology :
Journal International de Psychologie, 54(3), 369–376. https://doi.org/10.1002/ijop.12473
King James Bible. (2017). King James Bible Online. https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/
(Original work published 1769).
McClocklin, P. A., & Lengelle, R. (2018). Cures for the heart: a poetic approach to healing after
loss. British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, 46(3), 326–339.
https://doi.org/10.1080/03069885.2017.1381665
Shafran-Tikva, S., & Kluger, A. (2018). Physician's listening and adherence to medical
recommendations among persons with diabetes. International Journal of Listening 32(3),
p.140-149.
Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
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