PERSONAL FAMILY DEVELOPMENT
Abstract
This paper focuses on my ideology and theory regarding the definition and development of the
family. My definition includes various forms, such as traditional two-parent families (mother and
father), single-parent families, blended families, extended families, childless families, cohabiting
families, same-sex marriages, and families with transgender individuals. The family unit has
always been a contemporary aspect of society; however, shifts in family structures reflect
modern societal changes in family development. This paper will emphasize the diversity of
family structures and relationships, offering a comprehensive view of family development in
contemporary society. This paper will also present a traditional Christian perspective on family
structure based on scripture and the teachings of Jesus Christ by understanding God’s love for
family structure that aligns with contemporary family values.
Keywords: Family development, Family structure, Contextual Family Therapy
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Introduction
This paper will lay out my ideology and theory concerning family structure. It will
explore and argue that as society shifts towards modernity, so will the definition of family
structure and development. My paper will capture a wide range of family development
structures, from traditional to non-traditional forms. It emphasizes significant societal changes
and focuses on the importance of inclusivity.
Furthermore, my concept paper integrates a Christian perspective on family that aligns
more with traditional family dynamics and how modernity has caused some Christians to align
with current trends of modern society, causing a shift from traditional family values and ethics.
As our society shifts towards modernity, a greater emphasis on individualism over collectivism
will lead to changing priorities within families. For example, personal aspirations and career
goals can sometimes take precedence over traditional family roles, influencing family dynamics
and interactions. The paper will conclude with my personal view of Later life and my preferred
theory from a Christian perspective.
According to Ulsander and Wenk (2021), the authors discuss family dynamics by
examining factors that directly impact how family structures have evolved in response to societal
changes, particularly focusing on the impacts of modernity. It highlights how families adapt to
contemporary values, including individualism and shifting gender roles. The author’s article
explores the differences between traditional and non-traditional family forms, the implications
for children's development and outcomes, and the tensions that arise when traditional family
values interact with modern societal expectations. By analyzing various family dynamics, the
authors provide insight into how these changes affect interpersonal relationships within families
and the overall social fabric (Uslander & Wenk, 2021).
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Marriage and Family Development
I think of family structure and dynamics in three folds, each requiring a different lens for
observation and understanding the family framework. The three primary family structures are
traditional, modern, and blended. These structures represent their logical reasoning and systemic
approach to family dynamics. Analyzing and understanding the differences among these family
types is important to gain insight into the dynamics, nuances, and composition of traditional,
modern, and blended families and to examine societal interactions.
Cherlin (2010) explores the changing landscape of marriage and family structures in the
United States and the associations of traditional, modern, and blended families. He examines and
analyzes how societal changes impact these family types by discussing the complexities of
marital and family relationships, highlighting the shifting dynamics in American family life. He
examines how traditional views of marriage evolve, leading to a rise in diverse family forms,
including modern arrangements such as cohabitation and blended families resulting from
remarriage.
Cherlin’s empirical research and data also evaluate the sociological implications by
understanding these family structures to grasp the nuances of family dynamics and the
implications for child development and societal interactions. His work provides a framework for
analyzing how different family types respond to and are influenced by societal norms, thereby
supporting your assertion about the need for varied lenses to observe and understand family
frameworks (Cherlin, A. J., 2010).
Traditional family structure is typically embodied by a family unit consisting of a father,
a mother, and biological and adoptive children. This family structure aligns with societal values
and cultural norms, emphasizing stability, support, and raising children within a two-parent
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household. In a traditional family, specific roles are usually associated with each parent: the
father often assumes the provider role.
At the same time, the mother typically takes on caretaking and nurturing responsibilities.
As children grow and become adolescents, they may take on additional responsibilities and
occasionally act as caretakers for their younger siblings. However, due to economic challenges
and the high cost of maintaining a household, more traditional families see both parents fully
employed to meet these challenges. Both parents are generally involved in their children's
emotional, educational, and moral development, and they are often seen as teaching values,
traditions, and social skills. (Amato & Rivera, 2019)
The societal acceptance of the modern family structure illustrates a profound shift from
conventional family norms. This evolution in family dynamics corresponds with broader societal
modernization trends, ultimately redefining what constitutes a family unit. Modern family
structures recognize the composition of family units that includes same-sex marriages and the
redefining of genders while acknowledging the unfolding concept of transgender issues that align
with the LGBTQ+ community (Allen & Demo, 2004).
There has been a significant push for legislation to accept this modern family structure,
which requires acknowledgment of its alignment with contemporary society. The modern family
movement has made significant strides to ensure that diverse family units are recognized and
protected under the law, reflecting modern life's evolving values and realities (Gabb, 2018).
Gabb discusses the importance of family and recognizing diverse family forms within modern
society.
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This shift has resulted in more people now recognizing that families can take many
forms, including same-sex couples raising children. This shift reflects changing societal norms
and values, emphasizing love, support, and commitment over traditional definitions of family.
Choi and McKinnon (2020) explore how social changes have affected the different types of
families we see today.
It discusses the idea of family diversity, meaning there are many forms of families, such as
traditional two-parent families, single-parent families, and families with same-sex parents. The
authors examine how economic shifts, cultural changes, and legal developments influence these
family structures. The authors highlight the importance of understanding the variations in family
forms and how they relate to broader societal change (Choi et al., 2020).
In our experience creating a newly blended family environment, my wife and I faced
several new challenges that required us to adjust our approach to parenting. The dynamics of our
blended family present challenges. Together, we presented a united front on how we would co-
parent our blended family.
We were faced with cultural changes in our family dynamics. My wife's cultural
background was Italian, and my cultural background was Puerto Rican. This required us to develop
a family environment that comprises many components to facilitate a manageable transition for our
children. These changes also include establishing boundaries and rapport with biological family
parents and extended family. We quickly realized the importance of open communication and
allowed the children to adjust to the blended family structure.
According to McGoldrick et al. (2015), the blended family unit is a complex and evolving
structure that emerges when one or both partners have children from previous relationships. The
authors’ approach emphasizes the dynamics of the unique challenges they face, such as integrating
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different family members, managing relationships with ex-partners, and navigating the emotional
adjustments required from both children and adults. (McGoldrick et al., 2015)
Religion and Spirituality in Family Development
When we think about spirituality and religion in family development, we often think
about how spiritual beliefs and practices and structured religious traditions impact a family unit's
growth, dynamics, structure, and function. From a theological perspective, spiritual beliefs are
essential for Christian believers and go beyond the material world. A family that encourages the
presence of God within the nucleus of the family is a family that pursues a Christ-like way of
life. Spirituality influences the family environment because it promotes compassion, provides
support, understanding, and assists the family in navigating the challenges of modern-day
society. Religion is a theological organization that practices faith and spiritual traditions
associated with a specific faith, for example, Christianity, Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, etc.
(Vogel & Mendez, 2019).
Hawkins and Dollahite (2020) discuss the importance and influence of faith, particularly
from a Christian perspective, on Christian family development and dynamics. The authors focus
on religious beliefs and practices and how they can shape family relationships, values, and
overall functioning. A family that fosters Christian faith and principles also influences family
development and provides a spiritual support system.
Therefore, spirituality and religion play significant roles in family development by
providing frameworks for socialization, instilling values, fostering resilience during difficult
times, and enhancing overall family cohesion and harmony. They can also impact how families
address conflict resolution, coping mechanisms, and support systems (Hawkins & Dollahite,
2020).
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Sexuality and Family Development
Sex, let’s talk about it. The subject of sex is too important to ignore and needs to be
discussed. Christians have a moral and ethical responsibility to understand the purpose of sex.
Modern society has corrupted the meaning of sex to the point that casual sex or sex outside of
marriage is acceptable. The Church is also to blame because the subject of sex is not usually
discussed other than what is mentioned in the bible.
There is a lack of theological reflection on its significance, and understanding sex within
a divine context helps couples achieve a more profound and fulfilling union. The intended
purpose of sex is outlined as multifaceted: firstly, it is procreative, fulfilling God's command to
populate the earth; secondly, it provides companionship and alleviates loneliness within
marriage; and thirdly, it benefits society by promoting ordered relationships that reduce societal
problems associated with unregulated sexual behavior. However, modern-day society has
corrupted sex by idolizing it. The church needs to guide by delineating the principles of healthy
relationships and the importance of purity within the framework of faith. Sex is a gift from God,
meant to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. (Köstenberger et al,.2010)
However, from a Christian counselor’s perspective, sex has become a mainstream
problem for Christians. Christian women and men are not exempt from sexual, mental, and
physical disorders. For example, Christian women can suffer from sexual disorder, such as;
hypoactive sexual desire disorder, sexual arousal disorder, orgasmic disorders vaginismus, pain
while have sex (dyspareunia) sexual trauma PTSD and paraphilic disorders and for men this can
include, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, hypoactive sexual desire disorder, delayed
ejaculation just to name a few. For the definition of these disorders, see (American Psychiatric
Association, 2022)
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Christians need to be made aware that they do not need to suffer in silence and should
seek professional help in order to combat these sexual disorders. The traditional sexual family
structure is simplistic. It typically comprises a married heterosexual couple, and can include
children of both sexes, boys or girls. This structure is often characterized by distinct gender roles,
where the male is usually seen as the breadwinner and protector. At the same time, the female
often takes on the role of caregiver and homemaker. (McGoldrick et al., 2015)
This traditional sexual family structure has been prevalent in many cultures. However,
societal changes have led to a broader understanding of family structures that include single-
parent families, blended families, and same-sex couples, among others. Gittens' (2018) research
focuses on the changing dynamics of family structures in contemporary society and family
sexuality. However, Gittens' primary emphasis is on how societal changes have influenced
family sexual configurations within today's modern society.
The author articulated and discussed how traditional notions of family are changing and
evolving to meet modern society’s expectations. The study emphasizes how cultural shifts have
influenced economic changes, social movements, and the dynamics of family structures. This
includes the rise of single-parent households, blended families, and same-sex couples, reflecting
a departure from the conventional family model (Gittens, 2018).
When we think of marriage or couples’ relationships, the subject of sex is unavoidable. In
many traditional homes, the subject of sex is usually not discussed or altogether avoided, leaving
a gap in sexual education. However, couples can take various steps to improve and strengthen
their marital sexual relationships. To address issues of sexuality, there needs to be well-
established communication and a healthy relationship. It is important to address sexual
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relationship issues openly within a partnership, preferably with the help of a counselor, and
engage in educational resources like books to facilitate discussions. (McGoldrick et al., 2015)
In my experience, many Christian couples do not feel comfortable discussing their sex
lives with the pastor or elders in their Church. With all the technological advances and social
media platform advertising sexual pleasure, the discussion of sex becomes a topic of significant
concern. Christians should seek Christian counseling to help them navigate the many misleading
sexual pitfalls.
It has been my experience that couples do not feel comfortable talking to their pastor
about their sex life. Couples need to understand that when it comes to sex, there is not a one-size-
fits-all method for understanding God's will, especially in the context of marriage. Instead, the
scriptures advocate for different activities to gain insight, providing guidelines for couples
seeking divine direction regarding their sexual relationship and marriage.
Couples also need to be mindful of personality differences and their potential impact on
the relationship, and to address sexual relationship issues openly with their partner or counselor.
As a Christian counselor, I have encountered many occasions when couples are not sure whether
what they are saying during sex is appropriate. I usually advise Christian couples to establish a
sexual love language when having sex. To be creative in describing their pleasure and have fun
giving different names to their anatomy that stimulates pleasure.
Sexual language should never be offensive to your partner. To avoid vulgarity, I
recommend that couples establish safe boundaries to ensure they do not use offensive language
while having sex. The scripture can set the groundwork for understanding how biblical teachings
can guide their understanding of intimacy. The scripture emphasizes the importance of
communication, trust, and respect in relationships. Creating a framework for Christian sexuality
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involves time, effort, and recognizing sex as a divine gift. Sex is meant to be enjoyable, and
couples should embrace their sexual connections while aligning with their spiritual values.
Parenting and Family Development
Parenting has ethical and moral obligations. The American Standard Version Bible
(Hebrews 12:5-11) reminds parents of their responsibility and discusses the concept of divine
discipline, using the analogy of a father disciplining his children. The scripture encourages
believers to endure hardships as a form of training and correction from God. The primary focus
is that discipline is a sign of His love. Just as earthly fathers discipline their children for their
good, God’s discipline is meant to help believers grow in righteousness, holiness, and oneness
with Him.
Although no parent enjoys punishing their child, if you love them, you have a moral and
ethical responsibility to discipline and guide them in spiritual growth. (Rydelnik et al., 2014)
The discipline of children is not about abusing children but about correcting and instructing them
in the same way God corrects the Church. In society today, many states have abolished the
parents’ right to impose punishment on their children; therefore, parents should research and
understand legal statutes in their state. For example, in Texas, disciplining your child is legal.
(Texas, 2025)
Amato and Rivera (2019) discuss how different family structures can influence children's
behavior. Their study analyzes data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth to assess
the effects of traditional family setups, typically a two-parent household, versus other family
configurations. (Reid, 2018). The authors highlight that children from traditional family
structures are generally prone to exhibiting more positive behavioral outcomes than those from
non-traditional family environments, such as single-parent or blended families.
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According to the authors’ research, the stability and support often provided by traditional
family configurations may play a critical role in child development. Amato and Rivera
emphasize the importance of considering various socio-economic factors that can also impact
behavioral outcomes, indicating that while family structure is important, it is part of a larger
context affecting children's lives. (Amato & Rivera, 2019)
From a modern-day family structure, Furstenberg (2021) in his research discusses the
changing patterns of family formation in the 21st century. The research highlights new trends
and challenges that families face today. The article focuses on various factors influencing family
development, such as changing societal norms, economic conditions, and technological
advancements. Furstenberg goes on to address issues of delayed marriage, increasing
cohabitation, and diverse family structures, same sex family structures, emphasizing the need for
adaptations in social policies to support modern families. Additionally, Furstenberg explores the
impact of these changes on children's well-being and the overall dynamics within families.
(Furstenberg, 2021)
Later Life
In family development and later life, we consider the transitions and adjustments families
experience following significant events or changes. These transitions can relate to various
milestones, such as children growing up and shifts in relationship dynamics. Later life events can
also include the loss of a family member, or significant life events like marriage, divorce, or
retirement.
Therapists and counselors can be extremely helpful in guiding clients through these
transitions, helping family members understand the importance of recognizing how these
changes impact family structure and roles, and making the necessary life adjustments to adapt to
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the new family structure. During the phase of later life, family members need to understand and
learn to renegotiate relationships and adapt to new situations. Understanding these phases can
foster resilience and promote healthy development within the family unit.
Hays and McGowan’s (2020) article explores family dynamics in later life and
emphasizes the critical role of therapeutic support in navigating various transitions that families
face during this phase. It discusses how significant life changes, such as losing a loved one,
retirement, or shifting family roles, impact relationships and family structure. The authors
highlight the importance of therapeutic interventions and how they can help family members
understand and cope with these changes by facilitating open communication and promoting
resilience within the family unit.
The article also underscores the importance of adapting to new circumstances and
renegotiating relationships to foster healthy family dynamics in later life. It advocates for
including therapeutic support to enhance family functioning during challenging transitions.
(Hays & McGowan, 2020).
Preferred Theory of Family
Contextual family therapy (CFT) is a practical choice for family therapy because of its
flexibility and primary focus on relationships. CFT emphasizes the importance of relationships
and the dynamics within the family system. Therapists can help identify patterns contributing to
family structure issues by understanding how family members interact. I consider CFT an
excellent therapy approach because it also encourages the idea of fairness and balance in family
relationships, where members should feel valued and respected. This sense of fairness resonates
well with children and adolescents by providing them a voice in family conflict resolution.
(Yarhouse et al., 2017)
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Contextual Family Therapy provides excellent techniques that encourage each family
member to consider the individual experiences of others, including their histories, values, and
cultural backgrounds. CFT takes a holistic approach that considers the whole system rather than
individual parts. It emphasizes the interconnectedness of various elements in health, education,
or problem-solving. For example, a holistic perspective considers a person's physical, emotional,
social, and spiritual well-being, rather than just treating specific symptoms. This approach aims
to understand and address the entire context, leading to more effective solutions. This holistic
view makes therapy more personalized and relevant to the family's unique situation. (Yarhouse
et al., 2017)
Conclusion
In Retrospect, the purpose and objective of this paper is to articulate the significance of
family development structure predicated on a multifaceted composition encompassing various
family nucleus structures and development. Focusing on their associated structures, based on the
influence that shapes personal identities and societal norms. The paper offers a thorough
ideological examination of traditional and modern family structures, drawing on empirical
research that supports the notion of personal family concepts from Christian and non-Christian
viewpoints.
Empirical research scrutinizes the efficacy of these family models. The paper highlights
the complexities related to diverse family structures and discusses the challenges traditional
family values face in modern societal influences. Furthermore, the paper explores research into
the intricacies of sexuality within family dynamics and couples' relationships. The paper’s
primary objective is to inspire deeper discourse regarding the challenges and complexities
inherent in family development.
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