LIBERTY UNIVERSITY SCHOOL of DIVINITY
The Great Exodus from Faith and How to Stop It
Submitted to Dr. Dan Burrell,
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
DSMN-610-B01
Family Discipleship
by
Robert Davis
October 1, 2019
Contents
Introduction....................................................................................................................................1
Reason for the Exodus...................................................................................................................2
Stop the Exodus..............................................................................................................................4
Alter the Model...........................................................................................................................6
Stop the Hyper-focusing on a Specific Demographic.................................................................8
Educate Parents in Godly Parenting...........................................................................................9
Conclusion....................................................................................................................................10
Bibliography...................................................................................................................................11
ii
Introduction
It is no secret to the Western church that younger people are leaving the faith in drastic
numbers. This student sat in a meeting with the Kentucky Baptist Convention in January 2019
and heard the stark warning about young people abandoning the faith. LifeWay released a
profound statistic about this phenomenon. “Two-thirds (66 percent) of American young adults
who attended a Protestant church regularly for at least a year as a teenager say they also dropped
out for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22, according to a new study from Nashville-
based LifeWay Research.”1
This trend is forcing churches to rethink the outreach for the younger generation. Many
churches have shifted focus away from being an intergeneration church, to a church which
focuses primarily on the “40 and under” crowd. Churches are shifting worship music to pure
contemporary services, complete with the latest in audio, visual, and lighting equipment. The
older generation is slowly being abandoned, yet in all of this, nothing has stopped the exodus.
Young people abandoning the faith sets a dangerous predicament, for there will be fewer
people to pass the baton of the faith to the generation following after the current one. With fewer
people to pass on the faith, Christian principles will go the way of the dinosaur unless the church
takes drastic measures to reverse course. What is causing this great exodus of the faith for young
people entering adulthood? To address the fact that many children are leaving the faith, the
church will need to drastically alter their model of family ministry, revisit the idea of focusing on
one specific generation, and help educate families to embrace godly parenting.
Reasons for the Exodus
1 “Most Teenagers Drop Out of Church as Young Adults.” LifeWay Research. Last modified January 16,
2019. Accessed September 27, 2019. https://lifewayresearch.com/2019/01/15/most-teenagers-drop-out-of-church-as-
young-adults/.
1
What are the reasons for the exodus? If one were to ask the local church, there are several
examples given, but all can be summarized by stating, “We do not know why young people are
leaving.” Adults surveyed, who have abandoned the faith, gave Phil Zuckerman a few responses
to their reasoning for apostasy. They described apostasy as a gradual process, not something
decided overnight.2 This leads one to contemplate whether the faith these adults possessed was
built on sand or rocky soil (Matt. 7:24-37). If one grows up in the church and develops faith that
is built on sand, once this person “leaves the nest” they are not adequately prepared spiritually
for the broken world and will lose the battle for attention between the Spirit and the world.
David Kinnaman proposed his theory as to the exodus. He stated clearly, “The next
generation is caught between two possible destinies – one moored by the power and depth of the
Jesus-centered gospel and one anchored to a cheap, Americanized version of the historic faith
that will snap at the slightest puff of wind.”3 This theory is one not readily pondered by the
Western church today, but one that needs to be seriously considered. Churches today rarely
preach the basis of the gospel because it is not popular and tends to drive people away. Church
leadership at times does not practice with their own families what is being taught in the pulpit.4
Worship services teach more theology than the preachers delivering sermons every Sunday.
Churches spend far more resources in the worship part of the church service over ministries such
as feeding the homeless, watching over widows and orphans, and fulfilling the Great
2 Phil Zuckerman, Faith No More: Why People Reject Religion (Oxford University Press, 2011), 152.
3 David Kinnaman, and A.Hawkins, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church... and
Rethinking Faith (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2011), 20.
4 David Prince, “The Pastor’s Home as Paradigm for the Church’s Family Ministry.” The Journal of
Discipleship & Family Ministry 4, no. 1 (Fall 2013): 26.
2
Commission. John Cooper of the Christian band “Skillet” stated something very similar. He
stated the church needs to stop making worship leaders the most influential people in the church.5
James wrote something very profound which follows a similar thought. “If a brother or
sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Depart in peace, be
warmed and filled’, but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what
does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:15-17
NKJV). In addition, James wrote, “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this:
to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world”
(James 1:27 NKJV).
Churches have become completely inward-focused with ministry, while seemingly
ignoring the needs of the surrounding community. Tad Thompson wrote, “During the past thirty
years, the Church has become increasingly geared towards the consumer.”6 What is worse, is the
younger generation is seeing this, and flocking from the church because of the hypocrisy. The
faith is Americanized, built on a foundation of sand, and young people are not prepared to being
“sheep among wolves” (Matt. 10:16). Churches have become so internally focused, that families
are not equipped to assume their God-ordained responsibility for discipling their children at
home. Children do not see it being modeled at home, they receive a farce teaching of the gospel,
then when they leave the nest, they decide their faith is superficial. The Western church does not
seem to understand this.
5 “Skillet Rocker: Stop Elevating Christian Influencers, Learning Theology from Praise Songs.” The
Christian Post. The Christian Post, n.d. https://www.christianpost.com/news/skillet-rocker-stop-elevating-christian-
influencers-learning-theology-from-praise-songs.html.
6 Tad Thomnpson, Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design (Adelphi, MD: Cruciform Press,
2011), 7.
3
The younger generation has a word for this: hypocritical. Many churches seem to play the
angle to make the appearance of a loving, compassionate church. David Kinnaman said, “Our
culture considers having a good image to be one of the highest goals in life.”7 The Western
church has become essentially obsessed with it, and the younger generation is calling it out.
There is a projection of having it all together, as though the church is doing great things for
Christ, when in many instances, everything is internally focused.8
Francis Chan, author of Letters to the Church, acknowledged asking this very question
about the church and how the church he started, viewed success. “There came a point when some
of the elders of the church began to question whether our idea of success was somehow
inadequate.”9 The Western church has attached the idea of ministry success to the size of the
congregation, over the kingdom impact the ministry could have on the surrounding community,
in pursuit of the “good image” culture to which the West enjoys. When the younger generation
walk into a local church, they observe this inward focus, reflective of the culture, instead of an
outward drive for the gospel.
This brings another impactful point. Since the church has embraced the idea of greater
numbers as a measure of success, the church has lost focus on discipleship. Young people are
very intuitive. They discern the motives of Christians and their desires before any words are
uttered.10 The focus is not so much on salvation, but pure numbers. There is no desire of a
genuine relationship, something the younger generation desperate hungers after. The idea behind
discipleship is another program, group, or something that is to give the sense of community
7 David Kinnaman, and Gabe Lyons, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about
Christianity... and Why It Matters (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007), 34.
8 Ibid.
9 Francis Chan, Letters to the Church (Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2018), 9.
10 David Kinnaman, and Gabe Lyons, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about
Christianity... and Why It Matters (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007), 53.
4
when the church is driven to increase its numbers. Chan was correct in declaring, “God designed
the Church to be much more than what the majority of us experience in America.”11 Part of that
design is discipleship. Luke wrote, “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and
fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42). This is a perfect example of
discipleship, embracing the teaching of the apostles, fellowship, praying, and the breaking of
bread, which most scholars seem to agree is the Eucharist.
The church has taken the model of discipleship and converted it to Sunday School, which
is a far cry from God’s great design. Discipleship embraces more than just meeting in a Sunday
School class. Discipleship has the root word “disciple” which means “follower”. The idea of
discipleship is to teach others to “embrace the teaching of the apostles” (Acts 2:42), to hold one
another accountable (Prov. 27:17), to pray for one another (James 5:16), and to fellowship with
one another (1 Thess. 5:11).
Discipleship is more than just a church function. The structure mimics a “family”
of believers. The church in the West has neglected true discipleship, and the greatest negative
impact happens to hit the family. God has called fathers to raise their children in the instruction
of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), called families to teach their children (Deut. 6:4-9, Deut. 11:19, Prov.
22:6), to bring discipline and correction (Prov. 22:15), and to love them with an unfailing love.
The church, in its pursuit of increasing its numbers in a culture of consumerism, has failed the
family by failing to equip parents to disciple their children at home. As a result, parents who
desperately want to disciple their children at home, are not taught the essential skills, instead
leaving discipleship to the “church professionals”, resulting in a generation of young people
hungering for genuine relationships, especially with the church, and finding a severe lack. With
the issue identified, what must the church do?
11 Francis Chan, Letters to the Church (Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2018), 12.
5
Stop the Exodus
Alter the Ministry Model
The exodus is the result of churches not equipping families to disciple the children at
home, thereby creating children hungering spiritually and finding fulfillment in the world. This is
resulted from the church focusing solely on numbers for the sakes of fulfilling culture’s idea of
success, not God’s definition of ministry success. How can it be stopped? Before that can be
addressed, one must investigate the various family discipleship models and discover the model
that seems to best address the issue of family discipleship.
Timothy Paul Jones defined “family ministry” as “the process of intentionally and
persistently realigning a congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents are
acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as the persons primarily responsible for the
discipleship of their children.”12 Family discipleship then becomes “Discipleship where parents
embrace their God-ordained responsibility to teach their children at home about God, His word,
and to model His righteousness.” The idea is centered around the family, something that in last
several years, has been under increasing attack within Western society.
The church needs to first “intentionally and persistently realign” its vision for family
ministry and discipleship. This will require the church to alter its perception of family ministry
and revisit the current model employed for family ministry and discipleship. Churches are
famous for implementing programs. If there is a ministry-related issue, a church will develop or
purchase a program and be satisfied that it has addressed the issue. This was popular in the 20th
century and called the “age segregation” or “education segregation” model. It is essentially a
collection of ministry “silos”, where each ministry contained its own rules, education material,
12 Timothy Paul Jones, ed., Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing
Group, 2009), 40.
6
and a model in which each silo did not interlink with another. Jones called this the “octopus
without a brain” model.13
In the Contemporary church there are essentially three recognized family ministry
models: family-integrated, family-based, and family-equipped.14 In the family-based model, the
congregation still maintains the current age-segregated ministries.15 To equip parents, churches
utilizing this model sponsor intergenerational activities such as classes and events. Each ministry
is responsible for the formation of intentional learning experiences to draw the different
generations together.
In the family-integrated model, there are no age-segregated ministries. Families are
integrated together in every aspect of the church life, to include worship and small groups.
Parents bear primary responsibility for the spiritual formation of their children.16 This by far is
the most radical of all approaches to family ministry, something that if a church is looking to
pursue this, would require some drastic alterations to every aspect of the church.
In the family-equipping model, there are still age-segregated ministries, but how these
ministries function is radically altered. Every aspect of the age-segregated ministries champions
the family to call parents to disciple their children. Every activity involves the parents.17 While
each of these ministries seem to overlap one another, neither model would be called “the only
model to follow”. There is no family model that works for every church. Church leadership must
13 Timothy Paul Jones, ed., Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing
Group, 2009), 35.
14 Michael Anthony, and Michelle Anthony, eds., Theology for Family Ministry (Nashville: B&H
Publishing Group, 2011), 154.
15 Ibid.
16 Ibid., 155.
17 Ibid., 156.
7
clearly review the practices of current family ministry and decide the best course of action, but
also must understand that no family ministry model exists that is perfect.
Stop Hyper-focusing on a Specific Demographic
In reviewing the family ministry model to make the required alterations in the current
model, the church cannot neglect any one age generation in pursuit of another. This would defeat
the purpose of family ministry and above all, create an unbiblical ministry model. Titus 2:2-8
paints an incredible picture of mentorship between generations. The church is called to teach the
congregation, teach “that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in
patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to
much wine, teachers of good things…admonish the young women…” (Titus 2:2-4 NKJV).
The church must also “likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things
showing yourself to be a pattern of good works in doctrine showing integrity, reverence,
incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned…” (Titus 2:6-8 NKJV). This is a
perfect description of an intergeneration family ministry model, and the apostle Paul painted this
picture for the church, so that the church would model the idea of family discipleship,
particularly, family discipleship in passing the baton to the next generation.
Mark DeVries stated correctly, “Programming for this style of ministry, therefore, is
centered not around the church or the youth ministry as much as around families.”18 This
structure must be centered around the whole family, not just a specific generation. Churches,
particularly megachurches, have begun to neglect the older generation in order to focus ministry
efforts on the younger generation, leaving many senior adults, carrying priceless mountains of
wisdom, in dark corners until sadly, the wisdom is carried to the grave.
18 Mark DeVries, Family-Based Youth Ministry (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 174.
8
Educate Parents in Godly Parenting
To stop the exodus, the church must first revisit the current family ministry model and
stop focusing on one specific age group, thereby neglecting other demographics within the
church. In focusing on numerous different ministries with no connection or overlap between,
discipleship as a whole suffers. This is evident in larger churches where there seems to be
success in the form of numbers, but no lasting spiritual foundation. Families are not adequately
equipped to disciple their children at home, giving the indication to families in a consumer-
driven culture that “we are the professionals we will do it for you”. While this is the case for the
secular environment, it is unbiblical for churches to have this attitude, regardless if it means a
loss in numbers.
Another act which will help stop the exodus is ending the focus on one demographic,
while neglecting other demographics within the church. This alienates members and is certainly
unbiblical. When parents, not as individuals but as “one flesh” are ignored, this further ill-equips
them to be the primary spiritual responsibility for their children. This leads into the final action
churches must take to stop the exodus.
Churches must educate parents, together if all possible, on fulfilling the biblical calling
on their lives, to disciple their children at home. Thompson was correct in stating, “The spiritual
futures of children must be placed as a matter of primary importance back into the hands of the
people who have the greatest opportunity to influence them for the Kingdom of God – their
parents.”19 Dana Garland was correct in explaining, “Family-oriented Christian education implies
that at least some of the time, we encourage families to participate in education together – as
19 Tad Thompson, Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design (Adelphi, MD: Cruciform Press,
2011), 9.
9
families of all kinds.”20 Encourage families to join the youth in an education experience that all
can share in together and enjoy. Parenting classes that encourage family discipleship, with those
classes perhaps involving older children to sit with the parents, offers a tremendous help in
facilitating a strong Christian education for family discipleship.
Conclusion
It is no secret that the younger generation is leaving the faith at a pace the church has not
seen since its existence. The root cause is, unfortunately, one where churches are hesitant in
admitting. The root cause is a lack of family discipleship, in a consumeristic culture where
parents feel inadequate to be the primary spiritual leaders at home and in turn, look to the church
as the “paid professionals” to disciple the children. This in turn has compounded the problem by
parents not living out the faith at home to model for the children, leaving children leaning on
culture to fulfill the longing for genuine relationships and mentorship. Churches in response,
create numerous programs to help attract youth, only to offer empty activities instead of offering
life-saving gospel truth. The entire destructive cycle has resulted in a mass exodus of children
leaving the faith once they reach adulthood. There is, however, hope in a course correction. To
address the fact that many children are leaving the faith, the church will need to drastically alter
their model of family ministry, revisit the idea of focusing on one specific generation, and help
educate families to embrace godly parenting. Without this, the exodus will only worsen over
time. The question is, will the church be willing to do whatever it takes, or will the church
choose to be popular?
20 Diana S. Richmond Garland, Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide. Vol. 2nd ed. (Downers Grove,
Ill: IVP Academic, 2012), 473.
10
11
Bibliography
DeVries, Mark. Family-Based Youth Ministry. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2004.
Zuckerman, Phil. Faith No More: Why People Reject Religion. Oxford University Press, 2011.
Garland, Diana S. Richmond. Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide. Vol. 2nd ed. Downers
Grove, Ill: IVP Academic, 2012.
Anthony, Michael, and Anthony, Michelle, eds. Theology for Family Ministry. Nashville: B&H
Publishing Group, 2011.
Jones, Timothy Paul, ed. Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views. Nashville, TN: B&H
Publishing Group, 2009.
Kinnaman, David, and Hawkins, A. You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church...
and Rethinking Faith. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2011.
Chan, Francis. Letters to the Church. Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2018.
Kinnaman, David, and Lyons, Gabe. UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about
Christianity... and Why It Matters. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007.
Thompson, Tad. Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design. Adelphi, MD: Cruciform
Press, 2011.
Prince, David. “The Pastor’s Home as Paradigm for the Church’s Family Ministry.” The Journal
of Discipleship & Family Ministry 4, no. 1 (Fall 2013): 26–34.
“Most Teenagers Drop Out of Church as Young Adults.” LifeWay Research. Last modified
January 16, 2019. Accessed September 27, 2019.
https://lifewayresearch.com/2019/01/15/most-teenagers-drop-out-of-church-as-young-
adults/.
“Skillet Rocker: Stop Elevating Christian Influencers, Learning Theology from Praise Songs.”
The Christian Post. The Christian Post, n.d. https://www.christianpost.com/news/skillet-
rocker-stop-elevating-christian-influencers-learning-theology-from-praise-songs.html.
12
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