LIBERTY UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
Family Discipleship Essay: Objectives and Outcomes for a Child’s Spiritual Formation
Submitted to Dr. Brad Reynolds,
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
Fall 2018 DSMN 610-D02
Family Discipleship
by
Krystle Talley-McDonald
November 25, 2018
Introduction
Over the past few decades it has become increasingly rare for the Christian home to serve
as the launching pad for the spiritual formation of children as they age. Tad Thompson, who
authored the book Intentional Parenting, positions that “fathers and mothers are not taking on the
responsibility to disciple their own children, and churches are doing very little, if anything, to
challenge this reality.”1
Parents are to be a child’s first teacher before they ever reach the schoolyard or the
church building, instilling life lessons, but most importantly, imparting spiritual wisdom. “God
intends for a beautiful partnership to exist between the home and the local church.”2 According
to Steve Wright and Chris Graves, parents have the privilege of telling children “the most
important news they will ever hear,” which is the Good News.3 Children should not have to
begin their spiritual formation outside of the home. The most important belief that any parent
should model and evoke inside the home, especially if children are present, is that of John 15:5
which affirms that apart from Jesus Christ you can do nothing.4 Every opportunity found in a
child’s growing stages should be used as teaching prompts for parents to aide in wielding that
child toward Christ. However, this is not possible without clear, reasonable, and biblically sound
objectives that will lead to beneficial and eternal outcomes.
1 Tad Thompson, Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design, (Adelphi: Cruciform Press, 2011),
7.
2 Ibid., 6.
3 Steve Wright and Chris Graves, ApParent Privilege, (Nashville: InQuest Ministries, Inc. 2008), 28.
4 Unless otherwise noted, all scripture references derive from the English Standard Version Study Bible
(Crossway, 2008).
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A Biblical Framework for Family Discipleship
The foundation of family discipleship has to start with a biblical framework.
Discipleship is God’s plan first laid out in Scripture through the Old Testament in Deuteronomy
6:5-7 and also the New Testament in Matthew 28:19-20. The Bible teaches that preference for
any Christian should be to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and might” and
then teach children diligently to do the same, consistently “when you sit in your house, and when
you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:7). God has
structured the world with a hierarchy of authority that starts with Him and trickles down to
parents which impacts children. Tedd and Margy Tripp, authors of Instructing a Child’s Heart,
uphold the view that the Bible teaches “it is good and proper for some people to be in authority
and for other people to be under authority.”5 When it comes to family discipleship, all parents
authority falls under that of a sovereign God who “makes His sun rise on the evil and on the
good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matt. 5:45). Parents have a spiritual
responsibility to strategically disciple children within the home, teaching them the way of Christ
with clear and reasonable resolutions; when this is done, there are successful outcomes for the
discipleship wheel to regenerate for future generations.
Objectives
Defining Discipleship
A child will be able to define what discipleship is and why family discipleship is vital to
their spiritual formation when parents intentionally set the stage for spiritual formation in the
home. A parent cannot successfully teach a child how to become a disciple or submit to
authority unless they understand the importance of placing themselves under the authority of
God first and model that in the home.
5 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart, (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press. 2008), 79.
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Submitting to authority and then following the instructions of the one in position of
authority is a learned behavior and is essentially considered discipleship. Parents are chosen to
mimic Christ in discipling children the same way that He discipled those who followed Him in
the Bible. Discipleship is all about teaching and learning, which begins in the home not in the
church. A child’s life is a classroom and parents are the teachers. “In the absence of biblical
formative instructors, secular formative instructors take over,” state Tedd and Margy Tripp.6
Christian parents must take the time to learn and adhere to the fundamentals of Christianity first,
before attempting to lead their child’s spiritual formation. Family discipleship is not effective if
parents do not guard themselves and the children from worldly principles, steering them towards
biblical absolutes which is the basis for discipleship. Failing to plan and lead the family toward
Christ is a plan to risk the family’s salvation for generations to come.
Explaining the Implication of Family Discipleship
A child will be able to explain why family discipleship is vital to their spiritual formation,
once parents define what discipleship is for all Christians, and implement those principles within
the home for them specifically. Bruce Wray states in his book Charting a Course for Your
Family’s Future that if parents are not intentional about adhering to biblical principles, there is
less likely going to be a strategic plan laid out for family discipleship.7 Successful parenting is
about giving children a vision for the direction God wants them to go – which is toward Christ.
The Bible states in Proverbs 22:6 that if parents “train up a child in the way [s]he should go, even
when [s]he is old [s]he will not depart from it.8 Stewarding children toward Christ is not about
6 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart, (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press. 2008), 15.
7 Bruce Wray and Lynn Wray, Charting a Course for Your Family’s Future – A Purposeful Guide to
Parenting, (e-book 2013), chapter 2.
8 Brackets added by author for gender emphasis.
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being a perfect parent or having the perfect plan for leading them. The goal is for the child to see
the glory of God in their home, the world, and in the church. Wray affirms that “successful
parenting is not about coming up with a parenting philosophy of our own or deciding which
author’s ideas we’ll adhere to in our family” but about adhering to what God has called the
parent to do and the child to do.9 The need for family discipleship is aligned with the necessity
to address what is in the heart of a person. A person’s behavior affects their relationship with
God, therefore having a strategic family discipleship plan in the home will help mold each
individual in the home into being a better Christian. A parent’s role is important in helping the
child to see why they need to be discipled. A wise parent will help steer children in the right
direction as they grow in the home, so that even when they depart from the home, they will not
depart from the biblical principles that were instilled in them.
Choosing the Best Family Discipleship Model
A child will be able to choose which family discipleship model best bridges the gap
between home and church while mirroring the Bible, when parents get a proper understanding of
what role the church plays in discipleship. God created people to live in community with one
another, so discipleship cannot stop with the parents in the home. Children will grow up and
grow out from under their parent’s authority. Essentially, the church helps a family extend the
impact of discipleship past the walls of the home. The Christlike behavior that generates in the
home should be seen and felt in the church so that church leaders can help sustain that through
teaching and worship. It is key to ask other spiritual leaders plenty of questions concerning the
instruction of a child and not be afraid of constructive criticism concerning the child’s behavior.
The best family discipleship model that is strategically implemented in the home should reflect
the importance of the church within that model. “A second-century church leader named
9 Bruce Wray and Lynn Wray, Charting a Course for Your Family’s Future – A Purposeful Guide to
Parenting, (e-book 2013), chapter 2.
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Polycarp specifically held husbands responsible to partner with their wives to train their children
in the fear of God” but even single parents can still do great things for God by partnering with
the church in the process of their child’s spiritual formation.10
There are certain structures that are present in the church that cannot be fully attained in
the home. For instance, family worship expands into corporate worship, but they are not one in
the same.11 Worship done in a family setting lends preparation for worship done with other
believers. Also, biblical teaching done in the home prepares one for the training that will be
received from spiritual leaders. The spiritual goal of the family discipleship plan created in the
home is for it to be cultivated in the church and implemented in the world.
Conclusion
Parenting can and should be the most worthwhile job if done under the purity of Christian
values. What is far worse than a disengaged church is a disengaged parent. The absence of both
church and parent is dangerous to the Christian faith and a child’s spiritual formation. However,
if a parent is involved in the spiritual formation of a child in the home, at least the biblical
principles instilled can have long-term impact; thus, family discipleship is not lost and there is
still opportunity for the child to be later connected with a church family that can water what has
been planted.
A child will be able to value the family discipleship design project established in the
home if parents are intentional about encouraging, correcting, and empowering them to carry the
design forward outside the home. A child will be able to model the discipleship design outside
10 Timothy Paul Jones, Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views, (Nashville: Lifeway Church Resources,
2009), 32.
11 Tedd Tripp and Margy Tripp, Instructing a Child’s Heart, (Wapwallopen: Shepherd Press. 2008), 137.
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the home when there are opportunities that inspire or challenge their spiritual maturity. Matters
of the heart can impact one’s spiritual formation but none are too far from Christ to be reclaimed.
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Bibliography
Liberty University Custom. Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views. Nashville:
Lifeway Church Resources, 2009.
Thompson, Tad. Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design. Adelphi:
Cruciform Press, 2011.
Tripp, Tedd, and Margy Tripp. Instructing a Child’s Heart. Wapwallopen: Shepherd
Press. 2008.
Wray, Bruce, and Lynn Wray. Charting a Course for Your Family’s Future – A
Purposeful Guide to Parenting. 2013. (E-Book).
Wright, Steve, and Chris Graves. ApParent Privilege. Nashville: InQuest Ministries, Inc.
2008.
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