LIBERTY UNIVERSITY
JOHN W. RAWLINGS SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
Journal Portfolio: Christian Telos
Submitted to Dr. Benjamin Forrest
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
DSMN 520
Spiritual Formation
by
Contents
Journal 5: Meditation and Memorization ..................................................................................1
Journal 6: Church Membership and Community....................................................................17
Journal 7: Spiritual Planting......................................................................................................20
Journal 8: Reflections .................................................................................................................21
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Journal 5: Meditation and Memorization
Chapter eight of Romans is packed with information on the life of the Christian. There
are so many observations to be made, reaching seventy can occur quickly. Here are the first
seventy observations I have made in this reading of Romans 8:
1. “No condemnation for those who belong to Christ”1 (8:1). In following chapter
seven and Paul’s discussion with the law’s existence to demonstrate how all of us
are sinful, and after Paul pointing out sin results in spiritual death, Paul begins the
explanation of justification. The condemnation is then the justice we all deserve
for our sins. However, belonging to Christ means we no longer must pay this debt.
If we are to understand God as a just God, there must still be justice. So, the
answer Paul provides is belonging to Christ, as he has already paid the debt.
2. “Life-giving spirit” (8:2). Paul has written before this chapter about the death
creating sin of people. The opposite then, is the Spirit who gives life. If the
world’s ways or people’s ways lead to death, then it is only the spirit led ways
which can generate life.
3. “Has freed you” (8:2). The work is done. The life the spirit offers is not through
what one does. The law demonstrates what one is to do or how one is to be.
However, the challenge to live to God’s competes with the human condition of
pride and sin. Trying to reach salvation through what one does is not a realistic
possibility for people, as we are all sinners, and all fall short (Rom 3:23).
Therefore, if what we do determines the freedom and life given by the spirit then
1 Unless otherwise noted all scripture is taken from the New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale
House Publishers, Inc., 1996)
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condemnation does fall upon even the believer. However, it is not about what we
do but what He has done.
4. “Freed you” (8:2). The final condemnation is ultimate result of a life of sin;
however, it is not a life that even such knowledge can turn people away from sin.
Sin creates slaves of us all and binds us to them. I discussed in this Spiritual
Formation course my bondage to gluttony for example. The sins turn us into
slaves of those sins in our addictions to the sin, as we constantly think about that
next fix, to borrow a term from drug addiction. We no longer need to be slaves to
the sins because of what Christ has done. Belonging to Christ and turning to the
joy of being that slave of Christ, just as Paul so often includes as a description of
himself in his letters, frees us from this bondage.
5. “Power of sin” (8:2). The sin overcomes the knowledge even of the
condemnation because it does have power over us. We come to find in submitting
to temptation a joy in the moment. This continues to build as we are continuing to
commit the sin. Before long, the power of the sin has a stranglehold on our lives.
6. “Sin that leads to death” (8:2). This enslavement to our sins separates us from
God. “For the wages of sin is death” (Rom 6:23). In the atonement system of the
Old Testament, something had to die when a sin was committed. The new
covenant does not eliminate the death resulting from sin. Instead, the wage was
paid. However, the wage had to be paid because of our sins resulting in the justice
of death.
7. “The law of Moses” (8:3). The custom of focus on the law went together with the
idea of being followers of Moses. In John 9:28, after questioning how a man born
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blind could now see pointing to Jesus, the religious leaders state “we are disciples
of Moses!” Religions are all about their central figures, the Jews have Moses, the
Muslims have Mohammad, the Catholics point to Mary and Saints, Hindus have
several, even some Protestants point beyond God to people. Moses was certainly a
great prophet, but it seems how we are all able to miss the point by focus on our
hero-worship. Looking beyond religions, we see a society reflecting this with
celebrities, athletes, and musicians. The law was handed down by God to Moses
for how the people were to live in the wilderness, then how to live in the
promised land. Moses never even got to live the land where the latter was
applicable, yet it Mosaic Law or the law of Moses often in reference. Perhaps that
is why Paul uses this term here before he points out its weakness while he simply
stated it as “the law” prior.
8. “Unable to save” (8:3). Referred to here as the law of Moses, the law that Jews
put all faith into is not what leads to salvation. As Paul wrote earlier, in Romans
7:7 “it was the law that showed me my sin.” The law does not lead to salvation
because it is focuses on what one does not what Christ has done.
9. “Sinful nature” (8:3). Sin has that stranglehold as it is our very nature. This has
been since the fall of man in the garden. From the first moment man decided to
value its own self over worship and trust in God, it has been part of our DNA.
10. “Weakness of our sinful nature” (8:3). God has the power and authority beyond
our imagination or even comprehension. When pride takes hold and leads to sin,
which is of our nature, it further demonstrates the true weakness of people.
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11. “So, God did what the law could not do” (8:3). Again, the law is to open our eyes
to our sinful nature. There is not anything we can do on our own through the law.
However, if there is no condemnation for the Christian (Rom 8:1) there must be
some other justification. God pays his own price within the spiritual justice
system for all believers.
12. “So, God did what the law could not do” (8:3). So, God justifies the believer and
offers salvation by what has been done not what anyone of us will do. It is
perhaps an overly simplistic thought, but if convicted in a government court of
law and the consequence for the infraction was to pay a fine, what Paul says here
is that fine is paid by Jesus as He is the only one with the means to pay this steep
price.
13. “When He sent His own Son” (8:3). God’s love for all His creation shows in the
form of justice. Atheist or deist parents talk about the love of their children and an
unwillingness to let anything bad happen to them as a reason to not fully embrace
God. I think of our children breaking a rule and having a consequence associated
with the rule, something like a grounding or taking away a smartphone. As
parents we do not take joy in seeing the child being miserable, especially as
children typically learn quickly how to tug at the hearts of their parents and which
strings to tug on. However, the parent fails in the development of a human to let
the child not suffer the consequences to grow. God’s love is greater than any of us.
His justice is appropriate then. The truth is then, the only way there can be a God
is the existence of justice and the condemnation for our sins. However, if the
consequences must be paid then God out of his love says I will pay for you. The
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only manner this is possible is in sending the Son to us. Jesus was sent to end the
atonement system and to provide the role model example for all.
14. “Sent his own son in a body like the bodies sinners have” (8:3). How incredible it
is God created everything, all of us. We then broke away from Him in sin to
eternity of condemnation. His love leads to pursuit through history. He stepped
into the world as one of us. He experienced the human condition. He was tempted
but never sinned. Now, because He is God perhaps it was easy for Him to never
sin, but because He was also human, he understands our weakness and
unworthiness of Him without His interjecting.
15. “In that body God declared an end to sin’s control” (8:3). Jesus taking, taking on a
body like that of us sinners, could do all we cannot. In Genesis, Hebrews and
Jude, Enoch is mentioned as someone who walks with God and as a prophet, but
no one makes the claim he never sinned, and Enoch is the only person one could
even make an argument like that about, as we see he never died but was taken
home to God. There is no other person who could alone break free from the
control and bondage of sin on their own. I do not have statistical evidence to back
up my thought, but in my experience, addiction recovery groups with more
success are ones associated with churches. Doing it with God is a struggle that
doing it without is impossible. Only God can put on a body capable of breaking
the bondage of sin.
16. “In that body God declared an end to sin’s control” (8:3). Again, that sin we all
face takes root deep within each of us. In taking care of the lawn, weeds come up
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until the root is taken away. Jesus is the only one that has ability then to remove
the root because He also replaces the roots of our sin, often pride, with Him.
17. “Giving his son as a sacrifice for our sins” (8:3). God’s love and justice are
beyond ours sending a His child to His death for the benefit of others is not
something most of us would be willing to do. Abraham was if it came down to
that before God sent him a different sacrifice (Gen 22:1-13), but that had to be
difficult. God’s love for all people though is love of a parent. While naysayers
focus on what he sent but the focus is really on who he pursued no matter the cost.
18. “He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied” (8:4).
Justice is crucial to a loving God. Jesus loves all to pay the penalty for all. Just as
He said in Matthew 5:17, He came to accomplish the law, meaning the
justification for all sinners being accomplished or satisfied.
19. “No longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit” (8:4). We have it
ingrained into our bodies a desire to serve our desires, society and the secular
world further advance this concept. Rather than serving our desires, we can
choose to put everything onto Christ and follow Him over ourselves.
20. “Those who are dominated by sinful nature think about sinful things” (8:5). Not
only are we a dinful people who are bond to the actions of the sinful nature in
succumbing to our temptations, but we are so bound to the sin that it is in our
mind all the time as well. The more we do sin the more sin becomes part of our
nature. Those things each person thinks of as who are they are get the attention.
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21. “But those that are controlled by the Spirit” (8:5). So, we think about and are
dominated by our sinful ways or we are controlled by our identity in Christ. That
is the alternative to our weakness and the domination of sin in our lives.
22. “Think about things that please the Spirit” (8:5). Submission to the Spirit and
Christ lead to a change in our thoughts. We no longer have the thoughts about the
sin which brings a momentary joy followed by shame, instead our focus shifts to
that which pleases God. The more focused we are on the Spirit or the more we
submit to His control in our lives, the more we think of these things then.
23. “Letting sinful nature control you mind leads to death … Spirit control your mind
leads to life” (8:6). It is more than the action that chooses sin/death or Spirit/life.
What we allow to take hold of in our thoughts dictates the life or death. Now our
thoughts often eventually dictate what we do but the life or death comes from the
thoughts we allow and more so those thoughts which we linger on.
24. “Sinful nature is hostile to God” (8:7). We choose pride or we choose humility
and submission to God. There cannot be a combination. Joshua 24:15 calls for the
choice of which god to serve, the Lord as he commits to or the other options of
man-made god born out of pride. There cannot be both God and pride served
together as sin hostile to God.
25. “It (sinful nature) never did obey God’s laws” (8:7). Prior to this chapter Paul has
addressed the Jews and being held firm to the Jewish Law. Paul has also already
pointed out how the law shows us our sins. Now he is pointing out without the
control of the Spirit, with a focus only on the law one cannot obey the laws
anyway.
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26. “It (sinful nature) never did obey God’s laws” (8:7). The laws which were almost
being worshiped within the Jewish religion were born out the Mosaic law handed
down from God. Paul has talked about “the law,” “the law of Moses” and now
“God’s law.” Many of the Jewish leaders would think these three are all the same
thing, however, Paul is clearly making a distinction. He is now pointing out God’s
law as law and not corrupted by man’s agenda. There is sin and there is life and
being of sin means the law was never kept.
27. “And it (sinful nature) never will” (8:7). All have sinned and fallen short of God
(Rom 6:23) but more than that all will continue to sin and fall short of God.
28. “Those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God”
(8:8). Repentance is required. Justification through Christ means we choose to
follow the Spirit for life, but we must begin to move away from the reliance on
the sin which is filling up the space in our lives which should be directed toward
God.
29. “But you are not controlled by your sinful nature” (8:9). These Christians Paul is
writing to have been justified by Christ. That space in their lives should be filled
by God not their pride by this point. So, all Paul has written to this point should
be a reminder to these people, however a reminder still needed today.
30. “You are controlled by the spirit if you have the spirit living in you” (8:9). Letting
the Spirit take hold of our lives or asking the Spirit to lead us means complete
surrender to the Spirit.
31. “Those that do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at
all” (8:9). He is not walking with us; He is walking in us to lead the way.
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32. “Your body will die” (8:10). The physical death is inescapable for us. Christ
living in us does not mean we live forever in this world, which is probably a good
thing as it being a secular world. So, the physical death is for all, but it being a
good thing or bad thing varies.
33. “Christ lives within you … the Spirit give you life” (8:10). Physical death is
inescapable, but that physical death opens the door to a greater spiritual life with
Christ living within us.
34. “Have been made right with God” (8:10). Over and over to this point in Romans
we are reminded of our sin and then reminded of consequences and separation.
God living within one, through the acceptance, repentance, and submission to
Him, means the penalty is paid and in God’s eyes of justice the ledger is balanced.
35. “The Spirit … who raised Jesus from the dead” (8:11). Jesus was able to pay the
price as being a man with no sin. Because He had no sin the death was a
temporary situation.
36. “The same Spirit … lives in you” (8:11). The power to conquer death is in each
person that submits to Christ.
37. “He will give life to your mortal bodies by the same Spirit” (8:11). Jesus was
risen and his body made new. In the end, the same will happen to those with their
faith in Christ alone.
38. “No obligation to do what your sinful nature urges” (8:12). Through what Christ
has done, and then growing in maturation as the disciple, the sin no longer has as
great a stranglehold. Through turning away, and turning to Christ, this feeling of
temptation weakens.
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39. “If you live by its dictates, you will die” (8:13). Continuing to live a life
committed to the sin is not inviting the Holy Spirit to control the walk, meaning
the death is a spiritual death through sinful nature.
40. “Through the Spirit put to death the deeds … you will live” (8:13). Turning from
the sinful nature cannot be done without the Spirit. However, once the Spirit takes
hold there is still a death, but it is not a spiritual death, but it is a death of the
sinful life.
41. “… put to death the deeds of your spiritual nature, you will live” (8:13). There is a
death required for the nature of sin, but Paul is suggesting it is a death of the
deeds or of the sinful nature so that person in connection with Christ can live.
42. “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are Children of God” (8:14). God is not
for this race or this group. God is for all who chose to commit to Christ. That
makes us all His children who He would purse to any extreme.
43. “You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves” (8:15). When come
across the word “fear” I think of Zach Williams song Fear is a Liar, having used
that song often with student-athletes. Fear is the thoughts of inadequacy. Thoughts
I have more frequently myself lately. That is in contradiction to submission to
Christ. The Spirit is in control so what is there to fear? Yet, we all need this
reminder which Paul places here, as in my experience, fear is often pathway to
sin.
44. “Received God’s Spirit when he adopted you” (8:15). We become God’s children.
We began as God’s children in the beginning. However, our sinful nature isolates
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us from God. He created us, but our nature is not His nature and we must be
adopted back to Him.
45. “His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm we are His children” (8:16). Our spirit is
that sinful nature spirit which isolates us from God. Through adoption, a child is
welcomed into a family. If the child is not an infant, there is often a nature of the
child that may not be in line with the values of the new family. The child becomes
part of the family in joining these values. In God’s adoption this works through
His Spirit. It joins our spirit, so it does not mean we are never tempted or never
sin again, however the bondage to the same sinful nature is gone as it is no longer
part of the family values.
46. “Since we are his children, we are his heirs” (8:17). In ancient times the adopted
child was often moved into the higher position of the hierarchy of heirs. The
adopted child was one chosen, so the worthiness was less in question then. In
being to the family of God, despite our natural sinful disposition, we are made
worthy of Him. This is only possible by the payment from Jesus, but when He
pays our debt, we can receive the glory in God.
47. “But if we are to share to his glory, we must also share his suffering” (8:17).
Being a child of God is not easy in this world where our nature of sin rules. There
will be suffering we cannot hide from. In fact, the suffering is opportunity for
God’s glory. To be one with Christ means sharing in the suffering.
48. “What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later”
(8:18). The suffering we cannot hide from and must embrace, even though it feels
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difficult, is short lived compared to what follows this life. Furthermore, the
negative comes nowhere near offsetting the positive of the glory with God.
49. “God will reveal who is children really are” (8:19). In Matthew 7:22-23 Jesus
says “On judgement day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in
your name … But I will reply, ‘I never knew you.” Many people claim to be
Christians but make no effort to submit to Christ. In the end times, not all will be
justified for paradise. This, along with the Great commission from Jesus, make
disciples of all nations (Matt 28:19) should lead us to share the gospel to all.
50. “Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse” (8:20). God created
people in His image. We were the crown jewel of His creation. When we rebelled
and chose our way and sin above Him, it not only separated us but led to a world
just filled with evil that forces all things into the punishment of being surrounded
by evil and death.
51. “The creation looks forward to the day it will join God’s children in glorious
freedom” (8:21). We have an elderly cat; she is a fighter though. It looked like she
was on her way out in July, though doing much better now. I had questions about
whether the family cat will eventually be going to Heaven. Theologically I
struggle with the question. My wife asks why I cannot just say yes. This came to
mind in reading this verse again. People have the sinful nature, that sinful nature
extended to all God’s creation, but it is our sinful nature which creates this evil.
The rest of God’s creation is not evil but waiting for the freedom of evil by the
Spirit within us. This also means, any insects especially spiders for this household
are waiting the same way.
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52. “Groaning in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time” (8:22). Each
generation enters through pain as a reminder of our sinful nature. This pain
continues throughout all of history. There is no point where the pain is removed
because there is no point where we are not of a sinful nature.
53. “even though we have the Holy Spirit … we long for our bodies to be released
from sin and suffering” (8:23). The Holy Spirit does not end suffering, for Paul
already pointed out suffering was required to follow Christ. The Spirit does not
put an end to sin. I have heard people believe once they believe in Christ, what
they do is no longer considered a sin. We long to have the temptation removed
and for me for example I long for that end of gluttony. In Philippians 2:12-13 Paul
explained we are at work because God is at work in us. He does not say “let go
and let God” and does not say it is all about what you do. He says we have the
Holy Spirit in us for life over death, we are adopted children of God and move to
align with being in that family of God, but the sin suffering is still part of the
human nature which will not come to an end until we reach eternity.
54. “We too wait with eager hope” (8:23). We long for the time of no more sin, no
more suffering, no more death and no more pain (Rev 21:4). We know how
wonderful this will be so we are eager to get there at times.
55. “God will give us new bodies he has promised us” (8:23). When we reach the
final judgement, God will provide us new bodies as we will need those not in line
with our sinful nature.
56. “If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it” (8:24). This longing
and excitement stems from the fact that it is not who we are. For some they turn to
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Christ right before physical death. For many, however, we submit to Christ and
have more time in this world for His purpose. We must keep the hope and keep
goal in focus.
57. “We don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us”
(8:26). This line stands out after the previous module in the Spiritual Formation
course focused on prayer through the Bible. The Bible is God’s Word. The Spirit
then must be in conjunction with the Word. When we all struggle with what to
pray or how to pray, we let God lead the way.
58. “Groanings that cannot be expressed in words” (8:26). Just as the nature of human
is not in line with the nature of God, the language of God is not always what we
can easily understand.
59. “The Father knows all hearts” (8:27). There is nothing any of us can hide from
God. He sees us in all circumstances. He knows our intentions even when we are
trying to fool others.
60. “The Spirit pleads for us” (8:27). The connection of the Spirit to the believer must
be strong, that His desire to not only lead us but plead for us in prayer. The Holy
Spirit does so much for us and is typically the most neglected of the Trinity, at
least the one I have most neglected.
61. “In harmony with God’s own will” (8:27). The connection of the Spirit is lead us
to God’s purpose not our own desires. So, while is pleading for us in the prayers,
He is working for us to align to God’s will.
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62. “God causes all things to work together for the good” (8:28). God is almighty and
all good. He is the only one that is good (Matt 19:17). While our agendas create
evil, even the trials which come from God are for a purpose of good.
63. “God knew his people in advance and chose them” (8:29). God created everyone,
but He created everyone as they are. He knew what each of us can become and do
for the Kingdom. He knows everyone before they are born, even before their
grandparents or great-great-grandparents are born. He still created each person the
way He did knowing our faults because He can use us.
64. “His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” (8:29). Jesus
paved the way for salvation for all who choose to believe and follow, but He also
paid the price for the way so others could follow.
65. “Having called them, he gave them right standing” (8:30). Jesus paid our debt
then also welcomed people to the reward of His sinless life.
66. “And having given them the right standing, he gave them his glory” (8:30). Not
only was the price paid and death for sin accounted for, but Jesus also lets the
believer receive the glory which Jesus deserves in eternity.
67. “If God is for us who can ever be against us?” (8:31). The power of God is greater
than any other power which could take hold in our lives. The suffering is short-
term, and the consequences will follow that which creates the suffering but the
faith in God is so deserved for who could be worth rivaling the greatness of God.
68. “He did not spare even his Son” (8:32). All things truly do work together for His
good. Some in leadership positions look to those they lead and expect the
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suffering only in those people. There is no limit to what God will take on in
pursuit and salvation of each one of us.
69. “… gave Him (Jesus) up for us all, won’t he also give us everything” (8:32). If
God is so willing to pursue that Jesus would die and die willingly as that sacrifice,
then God values each person so much that through salvation He must be willing to
welcome us to glory beyond our imagination.
70. “Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own image?” (8:33). God
chose each person to bare His image. Satan works in many ways to accuse us,
through our own thoughts and through judgement of others. Such accusations are
baseless in baring God’s image means only God is worthy of the judgment.
Just as there are so many observations to be made there are so many verses meriting the
memorization of the Christian. There are a couple verses within this chapter, I have committed to
memory, so the call must be for which I have not yet committed to memory. What stands out this
time around is what I see as Paul’s summation, Romans 8:38-39:
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever sperate us from God’s love. Neither death nor
life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about
tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the
sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to
separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Based on experience I feel I can memorize it in about and some methods that Whitney
prescribes will only enhance that ability. The manner I was told to memorize a passage was in
reading it five times a day every day. While I felt that I could recite it, like recalling lines in a
play, before the week. I think in focusing for the entire week made the lasting impact to recall the
verses well beyond the week each was a focus. What seems like a simple addendum to my
method, that in actuality I feel silly that I could not think of it without reading it, is to write out
the verse(s) being focused on memorizing each day.
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Journal 6: Church Membership and Community
My Own Investment in Church
Being part of the church community was once a real struggle for me. I would classify this
as time early in walk with Christ. As I have been more involved with community, I think I have
grown in relationship, knowledge, and dependence on Christ. However, even still the idea of
being more engaged or even making decisions as Leeman suggests based of the church is
something I constantly need to be at work in.
For a long time, I would be content in being one who would share the gospel with any
coach or any athlete. I helped generate a few activities to develop the spiritual maturity of young
men I have coached, although the development within myself in these times has been great too.
However, at the same, I would go to church on Sundays, take part in the worship and essentially
be isolated. My wife and I had different views on the church back then, but then again, we are
different types of people. I am fine being alone and being in quiet and can think, whereas she is
not happy unless she is talking with someone, anyone. So, while I could go to the church
building and hide, she would want to be there to hear all about how so-and-so was doing.
Now again, this has improved, as I began to understand the joy of community, I grew in
understanding of God. I really miss those people at our previous church. For all the years I was a
football coach there was an understanding every November we might have to be looking for a
new home or every February and into March someone might call with an opportunity we were
not planning on. There was never the time to feel community was essential because the
community could be left behind in almost a moment’s notice. Leeman talks about people making
plans in their relocation efforts based on the church, based on proximity to other members of the
specific church. I have never thought that way. My mother would constantly ask why we must
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live so far away from her, my explanation would be something along the lines of we cannot have
a location and get a job we go where the job is. Leeman suggests the idea spiritual formation can
become hindered if not making a focus on the church before anything else.
We moved to this new town for my wife’s job for the first time ever. In doing so we
found finding a church was rather difficult this time. The size and culture of the community is
different than the last couple towns we have lived in. With the thought it would be rather short
term, we moved into an apartment. In finding a place and knowing little about Bismarck my
stipulation in locating a new home was she must be able to get from the garage to her desk inside
of ten minutes. What I would do next time is put a similar stipulation the location to the church.
After finally finding a church we believe is biblically based and focuses on discipleship, and has
a pastor my wife likes, we now realize it takes about twenty-five minutes to make the drive to
this church. I will only speak for myself, but as much as I struggled in not having the connection
with a church for over a month, the excitement will carry me for a while to engage with the
groups and with the members. However, it is also like starting a new job, the first ninety days are
great then the newness fades. When the excitement of merely having a church again fades, I
worry about my eagerness to be as engaged knowing I will have to spend almost an hour in the
car for any one activity, worship, group, or anything else.
Embrace the Awkward
Dr. Forrest and his family “embracing the awkward,” as described in one of the lecture
videos is inspiring and convicting simultaneously. I feel like I was just starting to embrace even
the foundations of being invested with those of my church through biblically focused groups and
then left those people behind. I understand the engagement with various couples was not a
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formal group setting, it was still structured in that the couples getting together at set times. The
closest I have been to something like this has only been on individual levels with young men I
have coached or young coaches in the first couple years of their career as graduate assistants or
stipend positions in a mentor role, and with those men I view as mentors in the mentee role.
As we continue in our early stages of being part of a new church body, over the next
month my wife and I will make it a point to go speak with someone new each time in the church
building. For worship service and some the group or class activities we will arrive early and
greet someone new, with the intention of learning about them. So many people go into a
conversation with the focus on the opportunities for themselves to speak and usually speak about
themselves. We will not make the person, couple or family feel awkward by refusing to share or
anything but will engage and continue to center the conversation on them. My hope is this will
continue beyond a month, but the dedication for class purposes should further make this a habit
beyond a month.
These conversations are not the end point in the process in my mind. This is the first step
to being fully engaged with this community. Paul Pettit, in Foundations of Spiritual Formations,
writes “Spiritual formation involves members of the body maturing together toward
Christlikeness, by the power of the Holy Spirit and according to biblical standards.”2 While the
Spirit and the Word are at the heart of spiritual formation, it is about growing together in
community. This means spiritual formation requires relationships. Relationships require bonds
and trust, which all starts with breaking the ice and meeting more parts of this body of Christ (1
Cor 12:27).
Journal 7: Spiritual Planning
2 Paul Pettit, ed., Foundations of Spiritual Formation: A Community Approach to Becoming Like Christ
(Kegel Publishing, 2008), 269.
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There is an adage, I believe it was Churchill who deserves the credit for it, “Failure to
plan is planning to fail.” Growth in spiritual formation does not continue by happenstance.
Continuing to reassess where I am and where I want to be is crucial. In my growth plan I
discussed an increased role in prayer, specifically in prayer substance. I think this will always be
something that will be a forefront focus, for it might become easy to slip back into the stale
routine of repeating the same sequence over and over.
I have always taught on the importance of time management with my student and
especially my student-athletes. I utilize a color-coded calendar on my computer to plan out each
week. We are only given 168 hours per week and that time can disappear fast if fail to utilize it
appropriately. So, I structure my Bible study time and my prayer time. Sure, some things come
up on occasion and there is always a need to adapt, but overall, it helps me stay focused and
disciplined.
My Bible time and my prayer time are each in multiple times throughout the day. There
have been times I maybe writing something for a class or working on something else and it is
that time. Now if I need a minute or two to finish that is another story, but if I still have plenty to
complete, I stop and spend time with God. I do so, because of how great things are in that time
with Him and after and how sometimes things miserable without focus on Him.
I really need to get back to a focus on community. Moving strains one for the loss of
community. For several weeks I know some of the struggles I have been feeling are because of a
lack of physical community, as opposed to just the Zoom groups. We are starting a Bible study
group in our apartment complex in January when it sounds as though we may have access to the
community room. That will be great. As my wife reminds me, I must demonstrate love not just
teach what I know if there are some just coming to Christ, just as I was not too long ago.
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I struggle to answer where I want to be in the next year, in my spiritual journey. I want to
continue to make Christ the focus of my life. In a previous journal, I wrote about where I might
be in a year or so without focusing on the root of such sin. I can say I feel that more so right now,
I attributed the potential sin to the wrong emotion, however. I have been feeling angry lately. I
am not angry with my family nor do I think it shows in any relationship but recently I have been
angry. I have been angry about the government, but more so angry about my situation. I should
be joyful for without the current predicament I would not be in this program, but lately I am not.
President Lincoln is said have written letters in his anger and then not send them. I have done so
in the last decade or so, however I think I need to engage in more. I have tried to journal in the
past and that never becomes a habit. I think that is the next discipline to be worked into my life.
Getting back to the main point though, in a year I want anyone I meet to know I am a disciple of
Christ. I need to walk and talk it for this to happen, not make excuses.
Journal 8: Reflections
There are two recent opportunities in sharing the gospel which come to mind, both were
within a week for sure. However, both were also a few weeks ago now, which is disheartening to
realize. One was certainly a failure. A lady from this apartment building and I seemed to cross
paths quite often and when she commented on a cross, I began to share the gospel. I usually have
a pocket Bible on me and utilize it on such occasions as His Word is better than anything I could
say. In a general sense I follow the method described by Bill Fay in Share Jesus Without Fear.
However, without any sort relationship built this encounter was a failure. Perhaps the seeds are
there for the next encounter or the next person to come along for her, but I think despite the work
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of the Spirit in us, we all tend to be more receptive when we have a relationship with the
evangelist.
Which leads me to the other example, who I had met prior but focused on relationship
rather than speaking the gospel right away. This person was my wife’s boss. He had tried to
institute team-bonding type meals and activities for the members of their office outside of work
hours. At first it was just the three of us, him, my wife, and me. He is noticeably young and very
opinionated and is eager to rise the corporate ladder. That first evening, most of the night I was
quiet, as most of the evening the two of them talked shop. There was a moment in which the
conversation began on leadership, so I interjected with Jim Collins research, one of my favorites,
then Simon Sinek and finally I was sharing the information from the authors Tribal Leadership.
The point I was making in our discussions was based on the people who the leader serves.
The following week, eventually in the conversation, our discussion continued. I shared my story.
I shared how as a football coach I became an offensive coordinator when I was even young than
he is now. I was so focused on me and treated everyone poorly. I explained how football has a
scoreboard, but the best teams understand that thing really is insignificant. I explained how I
failed in understanding this and made life miserable for the kids I coached early on. I shared the
story of what I refer to as a miracle within a game we lost, and I certainly shared LeGrand
sharing Christ.
He asked if I felt you needed to be a Christian to be a good leader. I explained another
author whose book I loved but will never be studied in any business or management class, Mike
Donehey, and his take on the word leader which explains my love-hate relationship with being a
leader. I talked about being a leader in pursuit of the title is not a Christian thing. However, if
being a leader is about serving those within one’s charge and about personal involvement in the
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development of the people then I call it “mentorship” and that is what I learned to focus on. The
master coach, master leader, master mentor is Christ, and he is how I can be good at anything.
One evening we hosted him for dinner. I made smoked some ribs and as we ate, we
discussed what he believes. I asked him then if he knew anything about Jesus. He says his
mother has become a Christian, so he thought he had an idea of Jesus. I then asked his thoughts
on Heaven, which he did not think there was a Heaven or Hell. I asked him if he died what
happens. He responded he would be worm food and his mother would cry, but then a response of
maybe there is afterlife. I asked if he would be alright with reading a few verses of the Bible
together.
We opened to Romans 3:23, then Romans 6:23, and moved on until John 14:6 all along
asking him what it means, with responses focused on statements starting “it’s trying to tell me
…”. Starting at John 14:6 his responses changed, it was almost like he stopped fighting it the
same way, not saying things like “it’s trying to” as though it was not actually capable of moving
his heart. His response to John 14:6 was something like “Jesus is the only way.”
We got to Romans 10 and he asked, “Jesus was raised from the dead!? How does that
work?” This got us off the Fay train of thought. I tried to explain both some of the things
recorded in the Gospels and how Jesus impacted me. I wanted to make sure he understood I was
not saying something along the lines of his history inspired me, but rather stating He was leading
and impacting me.
I explained the gospel message. He had a few tougher questions we went over. We talked
about why there were so many religions, not just Christian denominations either. We talked about
the media perception of Christians. We covered a lot of ground. He left our home that evening
with a Bible and since we have had discussions on what he has read.
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Getting him into a church is tougher than other instances in my past however. This would
typically be the next thing I would say in a conversation, and back in Valley City I would get him
to New Life with us. However, I just do not feel like telling people about any church here in
Bismarck, ND yet anyway. My wife enjoys our new church much more than I do but then again,
they offer far more for her to be involved in at this time. I know this young man needs to get
connected to a church and there should be no reason not to invite him next weekend.
