LIBERTY UNIVERSITY
JOHN W. RAWLINGS SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
Journal Portfolio: Christian Postures
Submitted to Dr. Benjamin Forrest
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
DSMN 520
Spiritual Formation
by
Contents
Journal 1: Fear of God .................................................................................................................1
Journal 2: Pride and Humility......................................................................................................3
Journal 3: Imagining Blind Spots.................................................................................................5
Journal 4: Praying the Bible ........................................................................................................7
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Journal 1: Fear of God
The fear of God is about deep reverence for the character and power of God Almighty.
He brought us to life. He created all things around us. He is the only one who is good. We are not
worthy of the holy God. He cannot stand sin and so sin separates us, and leads us to a rath that is
unimaginable. Salvation exists through faith alone. Faith means a humility and acceptance of
God over our ways, desires, or self-gratification. Fear means we humble ourselves for knowledge
of what happens when our pride keeps us separated from God.
The expression “God fearing” or “Fear the Lord” was one thing I could not understand in
my time before knowing Christ. I would argue that makes no sense that someone would claim to
need to be in fear of a good God. What I lacked was an understanding of sin compared to being
good, or rather that I am not good but am instead a sinner. Our sins come out of pride mostly, and
come out of a place of valuing ourselves over God.
Deuteronomy 13:4
In Deuteronomy, we understand God dwelling among the people in the wilderness about
to enter the promised land, and how the law was used to maintain holiness. Chapter thirteen
begins with a discussion on serving other gods, but in verse four we understand that not only is
God alone to be served but feared. God has provided for and created all. Even more, in this time
these people of Israel who have been in the wilderness understood God among them. The second
half of that verse says “Obey his commands, listen to his voice and cling to him”. This fear
comes out of understanding the wrath of God for not obeying. His great power is worthy of great
reverence.
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Philippians 2:12-13
In thinking of reference to the fear of God in the Bible, one of the first things I think of is
the epistle of Philippians. Philippians 2:12 states, “Work hard to show the results of your
salvation obeying God with deep reverence and fear.”1 I see in this letter an exhortation to the
those making up the church of Philippi to live a life modeled after Christ. The results of the faith
in Christ should result in humility, unity, standing firm for Christ, and being worthy of the good
news and the salvation that the faith offers. So, if Deuteronomy suggests that we ought to fear for
the power of God as the judge in our disobedience, here we see in Philippians that fear due to the
work God is doing within us with that great power. The requirement is still obedience. For the
fear is really about what lies away from that presence of God.
Romans 11:19-21
As Paul is writing, in Romans, to help both the Jews and the Gentiles understand what
being a disciple of Christ is really all about, we read Romans 11:19-21. Paul points out that the
“branches” were removed for a lack of faith in Christ and if God did not spare them there must
be a reverence for God as He has all authority. This serves as a reminder that to stay in a place
with God that means we cannot turn away from God through our pride.
Psalm 31:19
1 Unless otherwise noted all scripture is taken from the New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale
House Publishers, Inc., 1996)
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Psalm 31:19 offers an interesting take on the fear of God. For David wrote “How great is
the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you
for protection, blessing them before the watching world.” David suggests that this fear of God
and reverence for the power that He has and understanding of how choosing humility over our
worldly desires will lead to such wonderful goodness and protection that God offers. This comes
from turning from our way to God’s way.
Hebrews 12:28-29
The author of Hebrews offers one of the best explanations of what the fear of the Lord is
meant to be. Fear is in reference to an awe of God. He is a “devouring fire.” Fire can destroy but
it can also provide so much more for us: light, warmth, cooking, and more. Therefore, we honor
and we awe at the mighty power that God has for when we do not this fire destroys, and the
destruction is greater than the wildfires we see in the news it is Hell for the one that does not
honor God. However, when we find humility and then respect and honor God in this awe, He
provides so much for us in the here and now and provides even more in salvation.
Journal 2: Pride and Humility
Much of my life has been consumed with pride. I understand God has disdain for any
pride, as that is gross dependence on myself and a self-centered life. This, then, leads to a
separation from God. If a fear of God and a love of God lead to humility, then the antitheses of
pride leading to separation must be true. The lack of humility or presence of pride are caused
from love of self and an indifference to power and character of God.
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In my career as a football coach, it was easy to see and point out the pride that was
evident years ago. I became an offensive coordinator well before I was ready, in terms of being
able to lead and serve the young men in the program. I earned that role for the work I put in to
understanding the game and techniques and schemes. That work was the only thing that mattered
at that time in my life. It was all-consuming. I did not care about anyone else. I had spent time
growing up in a family of Christians and had been to church on occasion, but not actually a
believer so I really did not care about God at that time.
In my time in that role, despite my arrogance and pride, we might have been the worst
offense in all of college football. We won two games, one we played a school a division below us
to run up the score and make ourselves feel good and the other was because of our defense and
forcing four turnovers including two pick-sixes. In that time, I placed the blame on everyone
else. I refused to let myself be blamed. As this continued my anger born out this pride only grew,
and eventually just engulfed me. I drained the life out of the young men in the program. As much
as my pride would not let me blame myself for all the work I had put in and in my knowledge of
the game, this pride was the reason for our short-comings. This pride manifested in anger made it
miserable for all.
Since coming to Christ, I don’t see anything to those extremes but I still see plenty of
pride after the fact. Just in the terms of class related activity I felt it in previous courses. After
several years since last being in school, I first felt doubt in being able to do well on any sort of
assignment. Then the spiritual warfare took over and the thoughts of not being good enough or
worthy to actually do this and serve God and others. Both of those cases should have been things
to take to the Lord right away in prayer. Instead I progressed to reach a point of over confidence.
When a professor included in his comments one of my papers that he felt it was the best in the
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class my focus shifted to that and not on the material actually learned in the course. For that
paper, I remember praying for help praying for God to open my eyes and mind, as I was not sure
how to go about that assignment at the time. So instead of giving praise to God my first reaction
was to pat myself on the back, I showed my wife Dr. Earley’s comments not discussing anything
actually pertinent to the course or how it helps prepare me to serve the Kingdom.
There is about no situation that pride will not grab hold of me without a conscious focus.
However, it is only the grace of God that helps me see and overcome some of these issues. I am
certainly still a work in progress, and know that I will remain so in this life, what I have come to
understand is prayer and praising God help. One of the things we have done in a small group I
am part of is talking about that which each is thankful for each day. I found giving thanks in the
morning and the evening have helped to start each day focused on God and reflect on everything
in each day giving the glory completely to God. Keeping that habit reminds me who really gets
the glory, though I am still human and occasionally continue to fall short.
Journal 3: Imagining Blind Spots
The idea of what would cause such a catastrophic setback, in this hypothetical future year
or so, is interesting to ponder. In preparation for both this assignment and that of the third part of
the Spiritual Assessment paper I needed to get my wife, Heather’s input to see some blind spots.
I have such a passion for football that she thought anything like this possible sin would root from
pride and potentially envy related to that. She asked me if I will be pursuing some of the jobs that
may open up in a couple weeks, to which I suggested there will be very few in this unusual
season, but I would for those that seem like a good. This only further pushed her to the idea she
had. She compared myself to who I used to be, though she did not really know me back at my
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true worst. She suggested that one thing I must be conscientious of not sacrificing the progress in
sanctification in pursuit of some job for the title.
A year from now, if pride takes hold in deciding that I really want to do something that
does not fit into God’s plan, I may be doing a job that on the surface is enticing and appealing
but will have shifted the focus back to doing it my way not His. The warning must be against
envy as well. Assuming the coaching-carousal progresses at somewhat of a normal cycle, there
will be some things that pop open that I look at and think “I should have that job” but what’s
more is when someone else gets that job and I begin to compare myself to such person and think
“I should have it instead of (whomever)”.
The call to serve in that role is in me. No matter what happens from here, I have such
passion for the game and for mentoring and developing young people both of which make that
role so attractive. I must recognize all that God is doing and recognize that what matters is
knowing Him and making Him known no matter what the role or job I ever have going forward.
The fact of the matter is envy has manifested in similar fashions in my past. If I am not
aware and then do not pray for Holy Spirit take hold of my heart to prevent such envy, maybe not
in one year but in the near future I will be bitter. Then, assuming that I still have any opportunity
to help in any discipleship process, I will push a false agenda driven narrative. I will eventually
be alone and worse there is the possibility of going back to this idea of using the scripture out of
context to bend to my own ways all from letting envy run unchecked.
Journal 4: Praying the Bible
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Praying through the Psalm 139 was an incredible experience drawing closer to God. The
concept is different than my experiences in praying based off the Bible in the freedom of the
scripture led thoughts come to the surface. Whitney’s suggestion of prayer life being boring
when we are left to our methods proves true at times in my life. I have set aside a few different
times of prayer each day, a couple on my own and the evening family prayer. Those prayers are
somewhat repetitive. I have a grease board full of people to pray for, at least one thing
specifically, and at least one scripture verse. There are times I even feel distracted in that process
too.
I have read the Bible following the suggestion of a great friend, mentor, and a pastor who
likes to use acronyms. In defining how to one should read the Bible he uses M.A.P.S. to keep it
memorable. The “P” stands for prayer, as in pray on that verse as one is reading the scripture.
What stands out more in this method is the freeing feeling to understand the thought which enters
from that verse is what to take before the almighty. While my daily M.A.P.S. time of study has
been cut down to less than a half hour a lately, there have been some days that short span seems
too short as I try to curtail my thoughts to fit my interpretations of the scripture with less focus
on any other thought that may come to mind because of one word.
I chose Psalm 139 for this method as it was the one of the four suggested which I felt I
lacked knowledge of. While I do not have all those other passages memorized verbatim, I felt
that this would be an opportunity to also study Psalm 139 greater. To be honest, it was and it was
not. After completing this task, assuming that I was picking along the same logic, it would still
easily be Psalm 139 that I would choose. However, the connection to God through what was
written in the Psalm was greater than several prayer experiences. In one hour, I did not get
through the entire passage. I went as long as I could before interruption, ending up to be about an
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hour and a half and still did not make it through the Psalm. In each line or verse there were so
many thoughts to take before God. What was even more amazing was how the next verse or line
sometimes seemed to answer something I had just said to Him.
I am excited to implement this concept in my everyday prayer, I just need to get an hour,
or forty-five minutes maybe, that I can get away with God and His Word. Thirty minutes is not
enough time. I am also looking forward to implementing Whitney’s suggestion on praying the
Psalms based on the day of the month. Perhaps this is something my wife and I could do together
in the evenings or wake a little earlier.
