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Picture Perfect: Behind the Scenes of Love
Growing up in this generation, it is common for ordinary people to rise to
stardom. Some of that fame comes from years of hard work, and some of it comes
overnight. In some cases, people become famous in their own right and some are born
famous. In this day and age with the creation of technology in the invention of social
media it is even easier to achieve this lifestyle. Underrated rapper, Lucas Coly, was a
product of this invention. Lucas Coly began his career rapping on vine transitioning to
wrapping in a car along with two other young men. Together, the trio called themselves
diamonds. With their charm, looks, and lyrics the trio quickly rose to fame. From fan
fiction to fan pages the trio was in some way every middle school and high school girls
dream boyfriend. In light of the information revealed about the backstage lives of
celebrities and influences overall, we as ordinary people are more so now than ever aware
that looks can be extremely deceiving. The fame of the diamonds was short-lived with
one member ending up in jail and the other two with irreconcilable differences. Lucas
Coly continued wrapping as a solo artist and became a well-known rapper in his own
right drawing in listeners with his musical personality and looks. But as mentioned, when
it comes to the lives of the stars, looks can be deceiving. Lucas also gained lots of
attention for his relationship with Texas native and influencer, Amber H or Amber
Harrison. Beginning the relationship in 2015 through messaging on Instagram and then
later meaning in person, the couple rose to fame as they combined their spotlight
becoming a well-known couple. The duo even started a YouTube channel in 2018. The
channel consisted of videos doing activities like story times and a couple pranks. Though
from the pictures and videos, it seemed the couple was very happy. Coley often expressed
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his love to Amber and how much he valued loyalty in their bond and his music. However,
current events have let us know the truth behind this YouTube couple’s relationship.
At just the prime age of 27 years old Lucas Chloe committed suicide while on the
phone with Amber Harrison on October 3, 2024. The two were on the phone after
discussing Lucas ‘s recent threats that left Amber so terrified she ran from her own home
with no shoes on to an entirely different state. After his passing, Amber went on a social
media live platform to discuss Lucas, the relationship, his death, and the event leading up
to that dramatic event. On the live, she emotionally went into great detail about all the
abuse she endured over the nine years of their relationship. From physical to emotional
mental abuse, Amber broke down into tears as she discussed the troubling times of Lucas
in her relationship. She talked about having to run away from him because prior to him
committing suicide. He promised Amber he would “take her with him” meaning he
would commit a murder suicide. Seeing, hearing, and feeling the seriousness in his voice,
she feared for her life hinting why she ran to an entirely different state. Before this
incident, Lucas also threatened to forever ruin Amber ‘s birthday month and he did just
that being that Amber is due to celebrate her birthday on October 30. Along with the
abuse Amber also had to endure getting cheated on multiple times. Lucas even took
Amber ‘s dog and hid it from her. Amber still has not received her dog back. Amber also
received lots of hate from Lucas ‘s fans and from people who just found him attractive
due to them either wanting him for themselves or because they felt Amber was not pretty
enough for Lucas. Amber endured all of this for nine years and at the age of thirty
decided enough was enough and ended the relationship. This was only like the after
Lucas threatened her life along with threatening to take his. What fans thought was a love
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story was actually someone is living nightmare. A person sought after for his good looks
and charm was actually someone so troubled and capable of all these awful things. The
saddest part is discovering how much pain and trauma Amber went through throughout
the duration of the relationship and all the trauma she is going to have to work through
because of it.
Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard. Sometimes grief can be so strong
that it is physically draining and hard to bear. Dealing with the death of a loved one can
be even harder when that person commits suicide. Some are filled with this one guilt
behind a thousand questions. What if I was a better partner? Amber tried that. She stuck
beside him for nine years and endured countless acts of physical, mental, and emotional
abuse. What if I had stayed? If Amber stayed, she would’ve more than likely ended up
dead in the murder-suicide. What if I picked up the phone? Amber did pick up the phone
and he used that as a last opportunity to traumatize her one last time and committed
suicide as she sat and cried and begged him not to. “When I heard the gunshot, the phone
dropped and I remember screaming mom, mom called the police and by the time we got
there, there was yellow tape around the house and everything. “Amber explains on her
social media platforms’ live. Amber is barely able to speak because hearing the gunshot
describing it as a sound, she will never forget. As a crisis worker, I would first give her
the floor to just feel. Nothing I am going to say at the moment will be the right thing. The
best thing to do initially is just to listen and observe. Listen to her go through the
motions. Listen to her cry and break down. Listen to her being angry at the world. Listen
to her be angry at him for one minute and then miss him the next. Let her get it out wrong
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or right let her feel compassionate. Empathize with her and put yourself in her shoes.
Listen to judgment, free from her actions, words, and things she has endured. Listen to
also take notes on her mental state. Listen to observe her behavior and make sure she is
not at risk of harming herself or others. Expect emotions and no rich factors of a mental
breakdown or suicide. Let her feel and be emotional, but also do your best to keep her
levelheaded and realistic. The most important key is being patient. “This experience has
changed your loved ones' lives forever. The weeks and months following the funeral,
when the initial shock wears off and the full reality of what has happened since and,
maybe the toughest for them.” (ASFP). Understanding that these things take time is so
important that she does not feel rushed to grief or wrong for how she is feeling.
The best model to use to handle this crisis will be the basic intervention
procedures. There are eight basic intervention procedures discussed by right in the
textbook. The first among these procedures is listening. Do not just listen with your head
and ears, but also listen with your heart, spirit, and eyes as well. Be attentive and reactive
when necessary. “Listening is one of the essential soft skills. It indicates a person ‘s
ability to receive and interpret information and the communication process. Without
active listening skills, you will not be able to receive and interpret the message” (Wilshire
2024). The next procedure is to assess. When you assess your client, you listen to
discover your client's needs in progress. From listening, and watching Amber ‘s lives, it
can be determined that although she is hurting and grieving, she has come to terms with
the fact that she did all that she could, and that she ultimately had to choose herself first.
She also spoke about how to get through his phone and having all the information
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available made her stronger because she now knew some of the things he had hidden or
going on, on the phone. Although, she did not go into explicit detail about information on
the phone. It can be inferred that it was other women he had relations with on the phone,
or maybe he spoke negatively about her. I say this because of her reaction to the
information discovered on the phone. She described how the information toughened her
up and just reassured her that she truly did all that she could do and that she made the
right decision by running away from him. The third procedure is to normalize. I would
allow Amber to get her emotions out in a safe, judgment- free environment, and let her
know that her feelings and emotions are completely normal and invalid. Validation is
very important in this step and in the next, which is reassuring. This step is important, so
Amber does not feel alone. Although I may not have personally experienced what she
has, I can be empathetic and show compassion. I will remind her she is never alone and
not only has me but God to talk to you. Considering Amber is someone who believes in
God and has spoken about prayer, I would recommend her above verse to read whenever
she needs reassurance that she is not alone. A verse that is reassuring is Psalms 23 verse
four. Psalms 23 verse four states, “Even though I walked through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your God and your staff, they
comfort.” This is a great quote for Amber because it is a reminder that even though she is
enduring/has endured some dark times she is not alone and can find comfort in the Lord.
The next procedure is support. Reminding her that not only does she have me, but God
also blessed her with a loving and supporting family along with allowing his family to
support her as well through their grief. The next step is to plan. Amber should plan and
start to think about her next move. I also think it would be beneficial to plan to receive
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long-term therapy. Which brings me to my next procedure is to educate. As her crisis
worker I would educate her on some of the resources and healthy ways she can grieve.
Examples of this include therapy, journaling, or picking up healthy hobbies that release
stress. The most important thing to be aware of during this state is her ability to retain
information, this brings me to my final step monitoring. “Be on the lookout for a
decomposition, regression, withdrawal, suicidal intention, or anger” (Wright pg. 165). As
a crisis worker I will be on high alert for any of these rich factors which are common for
someone who has endured this type of trauma.H
There is no set time limit for grief. Some say you never really get over it. The
days just keep going and it gets easier. Losing someone to suicide is traumatic in itself
but to have to endure what Amber did is heartbreaking. Considering her past trauma with
abusive relationships before Lucas, it is safe to say long-term therapy is needed. She
should also surround herself with her loved ones and a healthy support system. The most
important advice is for her to lean on God and his understanding. Like stated before, grief
is one of these things we cannot force ourselves to be over with. We can push it away and
back, but eventually, it will catch up to us. I pray Amber, his family, friends, and
supporters grieve properly. I pray they all, including his soul, feel and encounter the
Lord’s peace.
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References
10 Ways to Support a Loved One Who Has Lost Someone to Suicide. (2020, March
30). American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. https://afsp.org/story/10-ways-to-
support-a-loved-one-who-has-lost-someone-to-suicide
Psalm 23:4 NIV - - Bible Gateway. (n.d.-b). Www.biblegateway.com.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2023%3A4&version=NIV
Wilshiere, J. (2021, October 8). The Importance of Listening Skills in Communication.
One Education. https://www.oneeducation.org.uk/importance-of-listening-skills-in-
communication/
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