Discussion Board 3
Ryan Chrzanowski
CUOC601-B06
Liberty University
For this week’s discussion board, we are discussing Ripley and Worthington’s FREE
model as read from chapter 21 of our textbooks. The FREE model stands for forgiveness and
reconciling through experiencing empathy. A brief description of this can be drawn from the
author’s realizations that the more effort someone puts in towards forgiving others, the more
forgiveness they will in turn experience. This is no different than the common principles that
state that the more love and optimism a person puts into the world, the more love and optimism
they themselves will actually receive and experience.
This model is not entire reliable however, in that the process of forgiveness and
acceptance is going to vary from patient to patient and even between age groups. It can also
become an issue if the person seeking forgiveness is always taking advantage of the person
offering forgiveness (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). This model is also not as effective in child
groups as they may not have the development and mental capacity to actually forgive and
understand what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are very complicated aspects of human growth and the
healing process. This is usually accomplished through four steps in which the decision to
reconcile has to be made first. The next step would be for the offending or wronging individual
to explain, apologize, and confess their wrongdoings. Thirdly, a detoxification would need to
take place. This process involves the wrongful party ceasing a behavior and cause of the current
situation, whether that be a specific attitude, behavior, personality trait, or addiction. Lastly,
forgiveness. This is not to say that the individual who was wronged forgets what happened, but
rather they choose and continue to remember that they made the decision to forgive and reconcile
and focus their efforts towards that end result.
One of the most valuable theories presented in the FREE method would be the stress-and-
coping theory. This method, however, requires work on both parts of the wronged and wrongdoer
as they recognize the things that lead to the current situation while trying to avoid placing direct
blame. This method can also be therapeutic however in that it would greatly reduce the level of
overall stress between the two parties involved, as well as build a more functional and solid
foundation for moving forward while reducing a lot of the negative connotations of stress such as
fight or flight behaviors, negative emotions, avoidance, and an overall stalemate in the
reconciliation process (Worthington, Jennings, & Diblasio).
Ultimately, however, the exact route two parties take towards healing in a scenario of this
case have to be chosen by those individuals and what personally works for them. Just as a
majority of these theories are not reliable for children under 12 years old, because even though
you can teach a child how to apologize, having them understand the meaning and repercussions
of those actions are difficult on their still developing minds, trying to choose a specific method
for two individuals can also have the same effect if they cannot personally relate to those
methods.
REFERENCES
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
InterVarsity Press.
Worthington, E. L., Jennings, D. J., & Diblasio, F. A. (2010). Interventions to Promote
Forgiveness in Couple and Family Context: Conceptualization, Review, and
Analysis. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 38(4), 231–
245. https://doi.org/10.1177/009164711003800401
