DB 3 COUC 601
DB3 POST: In our watch section for this week was the video “Counseling Methods
Skills” from this week’s material, which interviewed Dr. Everett Worthington, who is one of the
authors of our text Couple’s Therapy: A New Hope Focused Approach. In its Dr. Worthington
discusses how clients sometimes have a difficult time realizing and they are holding onto things
that are preventing them from growing closer as a couple. He uses the example of the technique
“Scaling” as a physical exercise where the couple shows the distance, they feel from one another
by standing apart across the room at whichever distance they think best represents their closeness
as a couple. This can help the couple realize their distance from one another with a physical
example which sometimes connects understanding better than simply verbalizing.
Like the use of the technique of scaling, Dr. Worthington, along with Ripley in our
textbook introduce the FREE model of marriage counseling this for weeks reading. This model is
a forgiveness-based approach which stands for Forgiving and Reconciling through Experiencing
Empathy (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). This strategy uses the four steps of Decision,
Discussion, Detoxification, and Devotion as a framework to reconciliation as the end goal. A part
of the second step to the FREE method is the concept of REACH forgiveness which contains a
five-step technique to help the couple to tackle the forgiveness process. This acronym stands for
Recall the event, Empathize with the offender, Altruistic gift, Commit to forgive, and Hold on to
forgiveness. According to our text, both the “FREE and REACH forgiveness methods are based
on a stress-coping theory of forgiveness” (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). These include stressors,
such as injustices; appraisals, such as the degree of threat and injustice gaps; stress reactions, like
negative emotions; and coping mechanisms, aimed at restoring the balance of justice.
While looking into the FREE model of reconciliation and forgiveness, I appreciated the
focus on empathy when working to bring a couple into a place where they can hopefully work
towards understanding and healing together. Ripley and Worthington discuss the Fundamental
Replacement Hypothesis which is a part of the REACH forgiveness method and introduces the
idea that negative emotions like unforgiveness can be replaced by positive emotions like
DIRECTIONS: In Chapter 21 of the Ripley & Worthington textbook, the FREE
model is discussed. Briefly explain the FREE model in your thread and
describe at least 1 aspect of the model that you appreciate and why. You
may or may not decide to use outside sources to support your argument.
In your reply, select 1 of the 7 FREE interventions (21-1 thru 21-7, pp 288–
306) that you feel is powerful. Explain why you feel this particular
intervention is important and why. It would be wise to support this section
with research. If you are wondering what might be good resources for this
portion of the forum, look at the works of Robert Enright, Fred DiBlasio, or
Fred Luskin, which all deal with forgiveness. Another potential resource is
John Gottman’s work in After a Fight (5 step process in reconciliation)
focusing on marriage issues.
DB3 RESPONSE POST: Hello there Sarah! I very much enjoyed your post and I also found a
pull towards the REACH section of our study of the FREE intervention by Ripley and
Worthington (2014). The concept of empathy for those we are in a relationship with whom we
wish to amend bridges, feels very natural to me and truly caught my attention. Upon
introspection, I believe this technique enmeshes well with my own worldview and thus the
organic feel. From restoring a connection to the spouse to the biblical worldview guidance,
empathetic tactics to reach forgiveness represents a solid strategy in counseling.
Within your original post you did a great job breaking down each of the steps in the FREE
intervention and its many parts. Though I have spent most of my time in my original post, and up
to this point in my reply, focused on the REACH portion, I also found the 6th intervention of
FREE forgiveness especially powerful upon introduction; “Forgiving the Self” (Ripley &
empathy and compassion. The idea focuses on how these positive emotions are stronger than the
negative ones that have been plaguing the relationship up to this point and that by harnessing this
concept, the couple can overcome the negativity. This concept reinforces the hope filled
counseling model and gives the couple an achievable way to tackle the often-difficult topic of
forgiveness. This concept is also supported by scripture as Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we
must “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other” (NIV, 2023). While we
strive to forgive others, especially those closest to us, the bible gives us positive emotions to
support this process in the fruit of the spirit “love, job peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” in Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV, 2023).
References
Liberty University. (2015). Counseling Method and Skills. Retrieved from
https://cdnapisec.kaltura.com/index.php/extwidget/preview/partner_id/2167581/uiconf_id/39959
791/entry_id/0_lhqra0pw/embed/dynamic
New International Version. (2023). Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?
search=Proverbs%2027:17&version=NIV Links to an external site.
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
Downers Grove: IL: InterVarsity Press
DIRECTIONS: In your reply, select 1 of the 7 FREE interventions (21-1 thru 21-7, pp
288–306) that you feel is powerful. Explain why you feel this particular intervention
is important and why. It would be wise to support this section with research. If you
are wondering what might be good resources for this portion of the forum, look at
the works of Robert Enright, Fred DiBlasio, or Fred Luskin, which all deal with
forgiveness. Another potential resource is John Gottman’s work in After a Fight (5
step process in reconciliation) focusing on marriage issues.
Worthington, 2014). This intervention often applies forgiveness to both partners with the
offender being expected to take responsibility for themselves and any faults they may be
displaying. The authors of our text talk about the concepts of “softening and acceptance of
responsibility” which may be necessary for this to occur, especially if the client is displaying any
narcissistic features. This concept of self-forgiveness is broken down into 6 steps: receiving
God’s forgiveness, repairing relationships, rethinking ruminations, REACH emotional self-
forgiveness, rebuild self-acceptance, and resolve to live virtuously. I believe this section is so
very important because it creates an inward focus on building up the self and committing to not
only healing and resolving, but also to continuing this new, hopefully healthier pattern of
behavior. This is similar to John Gottman’s five step process in “Aftermath of a Fight to Repair
our Relationship” in which step 4 is “take ownership of your role” (2023). In Gottman’s 4th step,
he highlights the importance of taking responsibility of your own part in the conflict between
you and your partner. In Galatians 6:4 (NIV, 2023) we are reminded that “each one should test
their own actions.” By taking responsibility for our wrongdoing and hurt of others, we can better
heal and mend relationships. This is such an important concept in the field of marriage
counseling as relationships bring much hurt to one another, though not always intentional. With
always growing awareness of self, growth can occur and along with it the better possibility for
forgiveness.
References
Gottman Institute. (2023). How We Used the Aftermath of a Fight to Repair Our Relationship.
How We Used the Aftermath of a Fight to Repair Our Relationship (gottman.com)
New International Version. (2023). Biblegateway.com. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?
search=Proverbs%2027:17&version=NIVLinks to an external site.
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
Downers Grove: IL: InterVarsity Press
