Forgiveness-based interventions are becoming more popular as there has been a large
increase in studies being conducted in support of these interventions since 2013 (Ripley and
Worthington, 2014). Forgiveness interventions produce forgiveness and are mainly used with
couples. However, there are sometimes negative effects if people take advantage of the
forgiveness and continue to repeat the same offensive behaviors. Religious people also have been
shown to be more forgiving than those who are not religious. These interventions may be useful
when working with individual adults, parents, and adolescents, but are not reliable in children
under the age of 12. Teaching children how to apologize and forgive can lay a foundation for
later in life.
Forgiving and reconciling through experiencing empathy (FREE) interventions are used
in couples therapy to help work towards forgiveness and reconciliation (Ripley and Worthington,
2014). The FREE interventions utilize 4 steps: decision, discussion, detoxification, and devotion.
The decision step is where couples choose whether or not they should reconcile, and if so, when
and how. The discussion step involves one half of the couple asking for an explanation of the
wrongdoing and how the other makes a successful confession. The detoxification step consists of
removing “the poison.” The devotion step involves building positive and love back into the
relationship.
Ripley and Worthington (2014) outline seven interventions that have seemed to be
effective in working with couples: Preparing for Forgiveness, Dealing with Resistances, Fuzzy
Definitions, and Fears, Letter of Apology, REACH Forgiveness, Reducing the Injustice Gap by
Making Amends, Forgiving the Self, and Humility in Self.
One aspect of the FREE model that I appreciate is REACH forgiveness (Ripley and
Worthington, 2014). This coincides with the second step of FREE where the offended partner
making a request for an explanation of the wrongdoing and the wrongdoer making a good
confession and apology. In order for this relationship to be healed, the offended partner must
consider forgiving. Worthington (n.d.) provides a five-step model to forgive others. The first step
is R – recall the hurt. This step requires individuals to accept the fact that they’ve been hurt and
decide to forgive. In this step, the individual must not pursue payback. The second step is E –
empathize with your partner. This step requires the hurt individual to put themselves in the
wrongdoers shoes and utilize the empty chair technique in order to build empathy, compassion,
love, etc. The third step is A – altruistic gift. This suggests that we should give forgiveness as an
unselfish gift. The fourth step is C – commit. This step requires the hurt individual to write a note
to themselves stating that they have forgiven the wrongdoer. The final step is H – hold onto
forgiveness. This may be the most difficult step. In order to hold onto forgiveness, don’t doubt
yourself and re-read your note.
I feel as though this is important because it walks hurt individuals through steps to
achieve forgiveness. I, myself, have been wronged before and understood the importance of
forgiving the other individual, however was unsure of how to even begin that process.
References
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach. IVP
Academic.
Worthington, E. L. (n.d.). Reach Forgiveness of Others. Everett Worthington. Retrieved June 1,
2022, from http://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/reach-forgiveness-of-others
