COMS 560
JOURNAL ACTIVITIES TEMPLATE
Journal Activity 10
Cahn & Abigail 6 - Work With It - p. 154 #1 Answer all questions.
a. The first issue is that the room being shared is very small which causes a struggle with the use of the
space. Another issue is that one of the roommates was in the room a year prior to the other
roommate moving in. For this reason he feels a sense of seniority over the room and how it is to be
used. Since another desk was ordered to accommodate the new computer, the older roommate
immediately started using it because it was bigger and had more room despite the fact that it was not
ordered for him. When asked to use the bigger desk the older roommate said no and to add injury to
insult he says, “You always have such stupid ideas.”
b. There are two definitions of power. The first is, “un-abusive power or equity, cooperation, trust,
supportive behavior, and individual responsibility creating a nurturing conflict environment that is
more likely to produce mutually satisfactory outcomes.” The second is abusive power which,
“contributes to a harmful conflict climate because it is perceived as threatening.” In this situation
the imbalance of power has left one party feeling powerless and not wanting to be in conflict with
the other roommate. There should be a conversation with respect to each other to decide together
how to best resolve the situation. Respect is a key factor that needs to be present in resolving the
issue.
c. Competition is defines as “when the parties view the conflict situation only in terms of win-lose
outcomes.” Obviously by the statement made by the older roommate that he was there longer he felt
a sense of power over the other roommate which then meant that the final decision would be his.
This needed to be the two coming together to find a resolution but one being higher than the other.
When both parties tackle problems together it feels like a partnership where everyone wins instead
of someone loses and someone wins.
d. “Trust of others is maintained when they continue to act in cooperative ways, avoid suspicious
activity, and reciprocate in trusting ways to the actions of the other.” Distrust does the complete
opposite and creates an environment that is unhealthy to the building of that relationship.
Communication and supportive behaviors need to be present that does not make anyone feel
threatened or unsafe.
e. Defensive behaviors really exemplify the feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, fear, or uncertainty that
make one turn defensive in a situation that they may feel is threatening to them. The older
roommate felt that his power over the room was being threatened which then put him in defense
mode but that was not the case. The other roommate just wanted to partner together to get his
computer up. In getting defensive the older roommate began to insult which is never a good move.
f. “Groupthink occurs when people are so committed to the people, goals, and or ideals of a group that
they fail to engage in conflict when they should.” The roommate that got the new computer should
have vocalized his concerns assertively and not jokingly. It appears that this was not the first time
Page 1 of 6
COMS 560
there was an issue between them when he just backed down to not engage in conflict. Not only
should the older roommate create a safe environment for the new roommate to express himself but
the new roommate should point out that the behaviors of the roommate were not pleasing to him.
This would help the roommate instead of hurt him. Maybe the situation would have been different if
he did.
Journal Activity 11
Cahn & Abigail 8 Work with it #2 p. 199. Answer all questions.
a. The type of stress she is experiencing is distress because she has no control over what will happen
between her and her roommate.
b. The technique she may use is grasping a playful attitude. Also seeking out the humor in stressful
situations helps make the problem not as big.
c. She may develop a more playful spirit if she accepts that situation at hand rather than fight against it,
take a new role. Even though her roommate may be leaving it will take their existing relationship to
another place. Finally ask if you are happy? Most of the time we are not happy because of us not
because of someone else.
d. The ABC model can be applied by looking at the A which is activating event or stressor. She was
looking at what was going to happen as a threat instead of a challenge. Once you change the way
you perceive something you will be able to cope with changes in life without falling apart.
Journal Activity 12
Cahn & Abigail 8 - Apply it - #2 p. 199.
Various Sources of Stress Positive/Negative Ways to Reduce Negative Stress
Work Positive/Negative Stay up to date with
procedures/policies regarding my
job and do not fall behind.
Family Positive/Negative Find time for me. I tend to
overreact when I’m
overwhelmed. Have to find
balance.
Friends Positive/Negative Be honest and truthful with
respect. Be supportive and
encouraging even when I do not
agree.
Page 2 of 6
COMS 560
Stressors Negative Self-Talk Self-Talk to Reduce Stress
Being a supportive wife Little things get me upset quick. Not everything is worth the
stress. They are not that
important.
Being a better mother I’m not doing my best as a
mother because I’m too busy.
My son is awesome and that is
because of God using me in the
right way.
Being a better employee I’m missing things that I never
use to miss before.
My environment has changed
and I don’t have enough help but
everyone else is saying I’m doing
a good job. Maybe I should
believe them.
Journal Activity 13
Cahn & Abigail8 p. 199. #3 Work with it. A, B, C.
a. Case 4
b. In some cases the anger was handle properly but in others not. In case 4, selfishness was present in
the conflict. Then disrespect which then brought on hurt that then lead to anger because of the
actions that followed the hurt. It is stated that shouting when she wasn’t getting her way, being
impatient, and interrupting her spouse as he was speaking. He reacted correctly by giving himself a
“timeout” or self-talk in order to calm down and address the issues at hand.
c. Here are some suggestions as to how to better handle the situations/conflicts that were presented in
each case study:
1. Case Study 1-Communication is the key. Nothing can be done is no one is aware there is a
problem. Avoiding a situation doesn’t make it go away. It just delays the inevitable and is most
cases make them bigger than they really are.
2. Case Study 3-Like in the first case study communicate and talking behind the person’s back is
not only dishonest but it then will erupt in a new conflict. Confronting a situation early on
without adding people to the problem is the way to go as long as it is coming from a good place
which is to find resolution and move on.
3. Case Study 3-Self talk should have taken place here before things got out of hand. The
boyfriend did but the girlfriend did not. When you are confronting someone you are not doing so
in order to start a new conflict but to address the situation, find common ground, and work
towards a resolution so that the relationship stays intact.
Journal Activity 14
Page 3 of 6
COMS 560
Cahn & Abigail 8 - Apply it. - # 3 p.199
Situation Rate How Angry Why are you angry? How could
I react differently?
Dropping off son to school 3 I was angry because I was late.
Next time I will sleep earlier so I
can wake up earlier.
Parking at Work 2 Had difficulty finding a parking
spot. Give myself more time to
look by leaving earlier.
Lunch 3 Couldn’t decide what to eat.
Wasted 10 minutes of my lunch
break trying to decide. If I plan
beforehand I would avoid this
irritation.
Going Home 5 Hit traffic and it took me 1 hour
and 15 minutes to get home. I
could move closer to work and
this would more or less fix the
problem.
Television 5 My husband wouldn’t share and
the other tv was in the bedroom
where my son was sleeping
because of the worldcup. I could
have found something else to do
like read and avoid the entire
situation.
Journal Activity 15
Cahn & Abigail 9 Discuss it. P. 222 #1-4. Write out answers. No discussion required.
1. THishnpf
2. This is a relational transgression because David violated the core values of the relationship. This is
why his girlfriend was so hurt and stormed out without hearing the explanation. “Every relationship
has its core rules that cannot be violated without calling the relationship itself into question.”
3. I believe that forgiveness and reconciliation would depend in this case study. If both parties wanted
to try to salvage the relationship Maria would have to forgive in hopes of reconciliation and moving
forward with the relationship. If both parties do not agree to continue the relationship I still do
Page 4 of 6
COMS 560
believe that forgiveness needs to be sot out. “At any of these levels, a person may simply forgive
and not move into reconciliation, but reconciliation without forgiveness creates a dangerous
emotional position for the one who has been hurt.”
4. Some ways that Maria can forgive David is by David acknowledging his mistake and apologizing.
Secondly determining the sincerity of the apology and choosing to accept it. With accepting the
apology and not harboring revenge in her heart transformation of their relationship can begin. Since
this will not be a romantic relationship, they may begin to rebuild the friendship that has been
jeopardized.
Journal Activity 16
Cahn & Abigail 9 - Work with it - P. 221.
Mark is upset because again he has lent money to Jeanne and she has not paid it back. This has
caused both a problematic situation and a relational transgression. “Relational transgressions are
extremely problematic situations in which core rules of a relationship are violated, leaving high
emotional residue.” Not only has the relationship with his sister become strained but the additional
problem with keeping this from his wife is another. In both instances trust has been violated which is
one of the core foundations of a relationship. Jeanne has lied over and over again to her brother about
paying back money that was borrowed but never paid it back. On the other hand, Mark has some blame
in this situation as well. Since she has a pattern of this behavior it is almost as if he is giving her the
money to create a situation/conflict.
The steps of forgiveness need to be used if they have any chance of reconciling the relationship.
Jeanne needs to acknowledge her mistakes and apologize. Then her actions need to come alongside the
apology by attempting to pay back the debt to show that her apology is sincere. At that point Mark
needs to begin to work through the betrayal he’s felt for so long in order to get to true forgiveness and
reconciliation. At first he may show conditional reconciliation on the basis of her apologizing then
moving towards processual reconciliation where she has taken the steps to rectify the situation.
Although Mark may never forget what his sister has done acting is ways that show a new
beginning will help him get to a place for true reconciliation. “Social construction theory suggests that
we make our social worlds by the way we talk about them, and we act within our social worlds based on
the way we have made them through our talk.” There is room for forgiveness and reconciliation but
both parties have to be willing.
Journal Activity 17
Cahn & Abigail 10 - Work with it #1 - p. 242
a. I don’t think that the four principles were used with this negotiation. “This is not the same idea as a
compromise, where you settle for less than what you truly want to achieve in an agreement. Rather,
you need to set a higher goal than you think possible, knowing that you may need to settle for less in
order to obtain what you truly want.” The Division Chief of Planning called it a compromise
whereas I do not think it is. She got what she wanted without having to pay the entire thing out of
her budget.
Page 5 of 6
COMS 560
b. They did not generate more options and did not come to negotiate but to get their way. “Too often
we only see our side of a conflict, while the other party sees only his or hers.”
c. They did not use converting competitive negotiations to cooperation. Instead I feel one was just
more aggressive than the other and won. What could have happened was separating preconceived
opinions off the negotiation table. The planning chief went in with the idea that the woman she was
dealing with was difficult which then made her want to be more aggressive. Also, consulting before
acting would have helped here. Seeking out an outside person like the boss would have helped with
the negotiations. It would have leveled the playing field.
Page 6 of 6
Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)
