As I sat down to write this paper, I had to meditate and determine which topic I would
choose. As I always say God has a humor about him sometimes. I say this because I was just
recently asked to join the prayer team at my church and the topic that really stood out to me was
prayer. Now before we begin, I need to give you a bit of a background of my story. I didn’t grow
up in a God-fearing home, nor was God really spoken of in my home. I knew he existed because
I had family who went to church and I had been to a few Sunday Bible school classes, but I
never had a relationship with God, yet now I know he was always watching over me.
I was twelve when I started going to church with a friend and finding out who God really
was. My life was crushed since my father left, and at this point, I would have tried anything to
get my family back together. I started praying and talking to God then. I was reading the bible,
but King James, for a young kid, is so hard to understand and easy to misinterpret.
Gordan MacDonald states, “Prayer, you know, is not meant to be a monologue, but a
dialogue. It is a communion, a friendly talk.”1 I must agree wholeheartedly on this statement. My
whole young adult life, I was praying wrong. I never let God answer me or open my eyes to why
my prayers weren’t answered. I often felt like he failed me at a young age. But God, being so
graceful and full of mercy like he is, opened my eyes when I fully embraced him and trusted
him. It was never a conversation back then and I never went back and asked him. I never
allowed him to be a father to me. Now, three years after I seriously understood how much I need
him in my life, I can say I have him at the center of everything I do, and this paper is proof.
MacDonald states, “I don’t just assume that God is near me and pleased with me; I must have a
1.MacDonald, Gordon.<Ordering Your Private World. Revised edition. Nashville, Tenn: Thomas Nelson
Publishers, 2003.p 147.
fresh witness daily.”2 This statement is how I view my own relationship. I have been mad at
doors closed and screamed at God why and asked what my purpose was as I was driving on a
freeway. And as angry as I was, I still was given complete mercy and given my answer. That
answer is why I am here today. No matter what my prayers have been, God has always made
sure I was protected and walking the path he had set for me no matter how much I tried to go
against it. MacDonald states, “Samuel did, and God spoke. The words of God penetrated his
heart and changed his destiny. We strengthen the innermost strands, as Jones put it, by making
sure that God’s words are entering the garden of our private worlds. Our first step in spiritual
discipline is finding solitude and silence; the second step is learning to listen to God. The third
step, the pushing of the “enter” key, is done through reflection and meditation.”3 This is so true.
You have to allow God the presence and ability to speak. Prayers aren’t meant to be just flung
out in hopes they stick and are granted. We can see many examples in the bible where people
used bold prayers. For example, in Psalms 4:1, David writes, “Answer me when I call, O God of
my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear
my<prayer!”4 I want to continue to be a person who is not afraid of being bold in my prayers and
has a relationship with God where I let him lead me. I have found I just do better in my life and
am more blessed. I can testify that his presence in my life has completely turned my life and
flipped it into this beautiful story. I thank him daily, and I never forget who I was without him.
MacDonald said this very statement almost. He states, “If my private world is in order, it will be
because I have begun to pursue the discipline of seeing events and people through the eyes
3. Ibid.p 150.
4. “Psalm 4:1,”The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV Text Edition: 2016. Copyright<2001
of Christ so that my prayers reflect my desire to be in alignment with His purposes and promises
for them.”5 I believe that just having open communication with God and allowing him the ability
to speak to you is not the only things we need to do to keep our relationship strong, but we must
be able to meditate and allow his presence in. We do this by praising in worship and meditating
in silence, allowing him to show his presence. I can not tell you how peaceful it is to be in
worship and prayer and then just have his presence come in and give you peace and joy that is
unexplainable, but all I want to do is just stand there.
In chapter thirteen, MacDonald explains what people do wrong, mostly in their prayers.
One reason is the act is unnatural. They have no idea where to begin or how. At one point, this
was me. However, I heard a sermon and attended a conference that changed my life forever. I
also had people who mentored me and helped as much as possible when I struggled. People also
tend not to want to submit to God and act with pride. This, again, was common for me in the
beginning. I had a hard time admitting the strongholds I had carried for years and letting God
take them. When I allowed him, I found the release to be the most freeing thing I ever did.
My prayers today consist of gratitude, confession, and any ask I have, knowing that it
may not be answered how I want it to be. God is a protector, and he has so much love to watch
us suffer. He is our writer, so he knows everything before we make any move. I believe my
prayers come from my heart, and I write them in my prayer journal because I want them to be
intentional and bold. I always make room for his presence.
5. MacDonald, Gordon.<Ordering Your Private World. Revised edition. Nashville, Tenn: Thomas Nelson
Publishers, 2003.p 147.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
