Disturbing Behavior Assignment
Joshua Caldwell
CHMN 301: Foundations of Next Gen Ministry
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Description:
I have worked with and studied the current student culture for the last seven years with
my work in full-time ministry. In those sever years I have encountered more students and young
adults who struggle with self-esteem issues. Issues that stem from the way they look, sound, their
weight, their height, their gender, and many other things that stem from being negative about
who they are. Dr. Tim Clinton defines self-esteem as “an inner sense of worthiness that gives a
person resilience and resistance to attack or criticism.1” Digging deeper into this definition, the
problem that tends to arise in the students that I come across is their lack of resilience when it
comes to personal criticism. This criticism can be negative, or it can be helpful. Regardless, any
sort of criticism is an attack on the individual who struggles. Clinton goes on to say that “Having
healthy self-esteem does not mean being proud or having an overblown view of one’s own
importance. Paul encourages us to “think soberly” when it comes to evaluating ourselves.2”
Examples:
Self-esteem can present itself in many different forms. I recently had a student who
struggled with her appearance. To bring it more into perspective, this student at the time was
eleven years of age. This student would constantly convince herself that she was worthless,
unattractive, unlovable, and going to live a life full of emptiness. The first thing that I assumed
was because she felt this way about herself, could she take it out on people who she felt were less
than her. In Ken Rigby’s article he mentions, “For many years it has been widely assumed that
young people with poor self-concepts were more likely than others to engage in acts of
delinquency.3” This was not the case for this student. She was born into a family where the
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Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins, The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling: Personal and
Emotional Issues (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2009), 214.
Ibid., 214.
Rigby, Ken, and Ian Cox. “The Contribution of Bullying at School and Low Self-Esteem to Acts of
Delinquency among Australian Teenagers.” Personality and Individual Differences 21, no. 4 (1996): 609–
612.
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mother would always choose the boyfriend and at an early age, she had things done to her that
were not appropriate. As I began to walk her through scripture and how God sees her, I started to
figure out where she finds her identity. Within three weeks she had changed to blaming
everything on God, telling people she had become a satanist, and an open lesbian. Where did she
connect? TikTok. This student went to the place where she felt her identity could be defined and
she found exactly what she thought she needed. Social media then became the place where it
became worse. This student would be humiliated and teased for coming out online and telling the
world whom she thought she was. Mitch Van Geel says in his article, “Those with lower self-
esteem may ‘attract’ victimization because they communicate, verbally or non-verbally, that they
will not defend themselves, or they may fail to defend themselves when victimized, thus
increasing the likelihood of repeated victimization.4” This is exactly what happened to her. Not
only was this student in our ministry, but she would also become a foster child, who lived with
me because of the things that came out at home. Her entire life had been flipped upside down
due to trauma and now low self-esteem.
Solutions:
Once this student was finally allowed the chance to step away from her situation, God
started using her and pulling at her heart. My wife and I could see God calling her to a
relationship with him. Our solution now was to help her find a licensed counselor. Someone she
could confide in and open up with. We also encouraged her to get involved with our girl's
ministry at the church we were currently serving in. The change in her life started to become
van Geel, Mitch, Anouk Goemans, Wendy Zwaanswijk, Gianluca Gini, and Paul Vedder. “Does Peer
Victimization Predict Low Self-Esteem, or Does Low Self-Esteem Predict Peer Victimization? Meta-
Analyses on Longitudinal Studies.” Developmental Review 49 (2018): 31–40.
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contagious. God was starting to draw her closer to him and to a personal relationship with Christ.
Dr. Tim Clinton states, “People’s self-esteem is in trouble when they allow others to assess and
convince them of their value or significance instead of relying on the assessment of the One who
created them.5” This is what this student had done for so long, but God was now redirecting her
life. Sadly, the time came for her to return home. This move would take her out of the state and
move her two-thousand miles away. Since the move, she has gone back to her old ways and
refuses to get involved in any counseling or Church programming.
Biblical Response:
As people, we tend to do a lot of things on our own thinking we can fix them. We tend to
shy away from Christ or other important influences to help us when we struggle. Brian Hill in his
article mentions, “This is why many people strive to solve the problem by works of penance or
philanthropy, not realizing that the gate they must go through is submission to the grace of
God.6” In scripture, we see Moses even question God with his abilities. Moses says in Exodus
3:11, “But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the
people of Israel out of Egypt?”7” Moses believed that he would not measure up but God was
clear about his calling. In verse 12, it says “God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your
sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you
will worship God at this very mountain.”8” God has placed a calling on all our lives and if we
Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins, The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling: Personal and
Emotional Issues (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2009), 215.
Hill, Brian V. “Is Self-Esteem Sinful?” Journal of Christian Education os-46, no. 1 (2003): 21–32.
Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House
Publishers, 2015), Ex 3:11.
Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House
Publishers, 2015), Ex 3:12.
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invest time into that calling, he can lift the self-esteem issues that we struggle with out of our
lives.
Conclusion:
I cannot say that this student has turned her life towards Jesus and has stepped away from
her insecurities with self-esteem. I have prayed that God would make himself known to her, but
only time with God can fix what is broken. Diane Langberg says in her book, “The process of
developing a healthy self-worth is just that, a process. There is no magic prayer or quick fix. Lies
built up over years and years of broken relationships take time to crumble, as the truths of
Scripture permeate a woman’s heart.9” This process can take years, months, decades, or an
eternity. Problems may never be solved. Conflict may always remain. In life however, I can only
claim that Jesus is in control, and he will see everything until the day of completion.
Tim Clinton and Diane Langberg, The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Women (Grand Rapids, MI:
Baker Books, 2011), 257.
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Bibliography
Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins, The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling: Personal
and Emotional Issues (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2009), 214.
Rigby, Ken, and Ian Cox. “The Contribution of Bullying at School and Low Self-Esteem to Acts
of Delinquency among Australian Teenagers.” Personality and Individual Differences 21,
no. 4 (1996): 609–612.
van Geel, Mitch, Anouk Goemans, Wendy Zwaanswijk, Gianluca Gini, and Paul Vedder. “Does
Peer Victimization Predict Low Self-Esteem, or Does Low Self-Esteem Predict Peer
Victimization? Meta-Analyses on Longitudinal Studies.” Developmental Review 49
(2018): 31–40.
Hill, Brian V. “Is Self-Esteem Sinful?” Journal of Christian Education os-46, no. 1 (2003): 21–
32.
Tim Clinton and Diane Langberg, The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Women (Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2011), 257.
