Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 1
Alexus Bryant
Department of Psychology, Liberty University
CEFS506: Integration of Spirituality and Counseling (D05)
Joy Mwendwa
November 27, 2022
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 2
Abstract
The book Embodying Integration: A Fresh Look at Christianity in the Therapy Room by Megan
Anna Neff and Mark R. McMinn is about what life is like in the therapy room. Everything stops
when a therapist and patient are behind a closed door with four walls staring back at them as they
feed off of each other’s insights of what subject needs assistance. In addition, involving God in
their therapy sessions is not always easy, however, they make sure that they keep it professional
during spiritual times. Many patients walk into the office without knowledge of why life is set up
this way or if it is God’s way of punishing them. However, a psychotherapist or counselor’s point
of view allows them to guide the patients to a more understanding view. There are six chapters in
the entire book that allows us to look at the different stages and aspects of having a better
relationship with God from a spiritual point of view.
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 3
Neff and McMinn Review
Introduction
The book Embodying Integration: A Fresh Look at Christianity in the Therapy Room by
Megan Anna Neff and Mark R. McMinn is about what life is like in the therapy room. In
addition, the paper will only be broken down from chapters 1-3 into summary, reflection, and
spiritual formation. From a psychological lens, Embodying Integration: A Fresh Look at
Christianity in the Therapy Room by Megan Anna Neff and Mark R. McMinn focuses on the
understanding of the connection of God through the trials and tribulations through three phases:
lament; uncertainty, meaning, and enjoyment; and imaging God.
Part A: Chapters 1-3 Summary
Lament is broken down into three meanings: suffering, deep cries, and resistance (Neff &
McMinn, 2020, p. 48). In addition, these three things allow an individual to go through all the
hardships throughout their life, but they are not allowed to hold onto anything but God. The
purpose when an individual is at their lowest, they look to God, however, many of them going
through hard times blame God instead of asking for his help to heal them and guide them
through the storm. Turning on God only makes the individual suffer more than they should
because they are showing resistance through the hard times when they should embrace the fact
that God allowed them to go through this again. The solution is to eventually give in to God
through each lamentation, instead many of us turn on him because no one woman can ever
understand why they keep having miscarriages or failed marriages.
Many people run from Ecclesiastes in the bible because they do not want to face any
contradictions of life. According to Neff and McMinn (2020), “There are righteous people who
are treated according to the conduct of the wicked, and there are wicked people who are treated
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 4
according to the conduct of the righteous” (Ecclesiastes 8:14, p. 117). No one understands why
their lives are not set up like others or why there is no meaning to how they live their lives. Many
families that are used to eating at the dinner table, parents laughing, and spending time together
during the holidays are not able to do that because the kids feel like they are too old, or the
parents feel like they should not have to because they are older now. As a result, the kids are now
adults, and they turn to their friends to have fun and fill up the empty spaces since their parents
do not understand the meaning of life anymore. Sometimes it is presumed to be the other way
around, but as long as a family, blood or not, has love between each other, then nothing else
matters.
Hebel allows a person to gain happiness, but according to the author, most of them feel
like it is temporary. Nothing in life lasts forever and someone who is not used to that will believe
that Hebel is temporary also. Hebel is like the happiness that everyone wants to have and find,
however, individuals lack the knowledge that you cannot find happiness because you already
have it, it is just below the surface, and they cannot feel it. To have happiness feels amazing, but
when one receives Hebel, they try to replace the desires it brings and block out Ecclesiastes.
From a psychological lens, one must be able to accept the miseries, so one will no longer suffer.
During therapy, if the patient can come to an acceptance of what happened then they will no
longer suffer, but if they continue to deny what has happened, the suffering will increase and
continue to happen. Many individuals tend to turn a blind eye or be in denial about what is
happening to them, which is why the problem because prolonged, and half of the time the stress
from the problem ends up killing them or making them go downhill.
The third chapter indicates the image of God includes both psychological and theological
works because an individual must be able to draw a connection between the two. In addition,
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 5
there are four parts to the image of God, which are functional, substantive, rational, and
emerging views (Neff and McMinn, 2020, p. 173). No one can pinpoint the image of God
because no one knows what he looks like, even when he pops up in our dreams, it is based on
what we were taught or what we have seen in reality. Even a person who has died and come back
to life can tell a person what God looked like because each image is paired with more
assumptions and theories, that will never be proven.
Reflection
I can agree with everything that Neff and McMinn have portrayed to me in the book
because it is true that we all are human and have to go through this or that to get through
hardships. No one knows what it is like to bury a cousin until they are looking at theirs in a
casket ready to be maggot food. That once bright smile that lit up the entire room when they
walked in, would no longer light up the room, instead, the room would be presumed as d and
dull. I do not know how my aunt feels to bury her child because everyone’s experience and
feelings may look the same, however, it is not the same. My love for my cousin, may not be the
same love that she receives from her mother, but she still received love while she was alive. Life
did not stop with one death, it continued to take more people that once embraced me with warm
hugs when I would visit. I did not understand why this happened to my aunt; let alone why did it
happen to all of us. Why did we suffer, and others did not? I was wrong because other people
were suffering the same, as I did, but their bodies had grown immune to it, but mine felt fresh
each time. I am aware that we all have our time when we must go, but sometimes those people
who go are not meant to go.
According to the ACA Codes, grief and loss with patients become too personal, the
counselor must ethically remove themselves, however as a counselor, I must be ready to detach
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 6
myself from clients and not become too close. In addition, chapter 2 allowed me to understand
that I must be prepared for anything that a client might throw at me because they might not have
the same meaning in life as I do. According to Harrichand and Herlihy (2019), “Counselors are
held personally accountable for meeting their professional responsibilities. These responsibilities
include engaging in self-care activities focused on emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual
wellness” (p. 1). They might not be happy like I am because even when one receives counseling,
we do not know how they feel deep down when they walk out of our therapy rooms after each
session. Most of our patients might become like family, but it is even worse that I am attaching
myself to everyone that walks through the doors, not knowing if they will attempt suicide or
killed murdered when they leave. I am aware that I must remove myself so that my professional
values and beliefs are not impaired by my emotions because it is not about me, it is about how
my other patients are affected as well.
Next, growing up I met many people who had no meaning to live, they just lived because
it was taught to live life to the fullest. No one ever taught them the true meaning behind life, they
just fell in line like dominoes, as I did. During my younger years, being able to be outside and
hang out with my friends was my escape because I could use my imagination without feeling like
I am in prison when I was in school. Everything in life had certain boundaries and I respected all
of them, however, I never understood why there were so many, until one day I did. However, I do
not necessarily agree that you have to accept Ecclesiastes to enjoy life because I have done many
things in my life without meaning. I cannot say why I did what I did, but I cannot say I regret it
either because most of the things I did was just in the moment. Sometimes I live through the
moments without thinking twice because society is right, I can only live once even if it meant to
do stupid things.
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Dealing with the Images of God in the Therapy Room.
Last, everyone’s image of God is not going to be in sync with mine and I have come to
accept that from my patients as a counselor. In addition, I am prepared to embrace if my patient’s
God is purple, pink, green, and has stripes or polka dots because their theory may not be the
same as mine. The way they were raised is also not the same as mine. Growing up my image of
God has always been a white man, but over time I considered him to be a black man. However, I
was never sure if he had curly hair like me or straight hair like a model, other days I believed he
was just like a star that no one could see because one look at him and the soul of the eyes would
burn like no other. I was never sure, but I have realized it is unethical for a counselor to debate or
make a fuss about what God looks like. As long as they can manifest and praise that is the only
thing that matters.
Spiritual Formation
Not many people understand how getting closer is an existing thing to have, however, I
was able to get closer to God every day. Even though I am not dead and in the same presence as
him, I am still able to gain better access every day. My relationship with God has not always
been the best one growing up because I used to blame him for all the many times that I have had
go wrong in my life. I did not understand how he allowed certain people that were important to
me to die without fully living or innocent people that would get killed and not have a heads up. I
struggled to get back to the path I am on now because I did not understand all these storms he
allowed to happen to good people, including myself. Good people did not deserve to be hurt or to
feel pain, I know I sound selfish saying that, but that is how I felt for the longest.
In addition, many of us have to go through lamentations, even when it hurt the most. I
had to question and ask God many times ‘why me, why was this happening to me, over and over
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again.’ I did not understand that more lamentations meant accepting and conquering our fears
and rages to get to the good treasures and manifestations in life, I had to get through every storm
that God threw my way. “Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear
lest any of you should seem to have failed to reach it. Good news came to us just as to them, but
the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not united by faith with those
who listened. For we who have believed enter that rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my wrath,
‘They shall not enter my rest,’” although his works were finished from the foundation of the
world. For he has somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the
seventh day from all his works” (Hebrews 4:1-9). This scripture allowed me to see that the things
I go through are lessons that are being taught so that when we get manifested, we do not forget
where we come from. I have had many times where I have manifested things, I did not think I
would ever see, but I was allowed to get there with the help of God.
As long as I can get through the storms and allow God to show me the way then I
can get anywhere I want to go. When I was younger, I had a manifestation of leaving my
hometown and going to a better place. People around me used to tell me that I would never get
there, but I was able to get there with the help of God. Although I was stubborn it did not want to
look at the signs, I did anyways because I wanted better for myself. I prayed even when I did not
want to because I have had days where I did not trust God because things were not happening at
the moment that I wanted them to. Many may say I was selfish and ungrateful, but even when I
left God, he never left me, and these three chapters allowed me to see that. My motto has always
been to pray and wash my hand of any sins that I may come in contact with and ever since I have
been following the same motive my spiritual formation has become smoother and negatively
free.
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 9
Conclusion.
From a psychological lens, Embodying Integration: A Fresh Look at Christianity
in the Therapy Room by Megan Anna Neff and Mark R. McMinn focuses on the understanding
of the connection of God through the trials and tribulations through three phases: lament;
uncertainty, meaning, and enjoyment; and imaging God. From chapters one through three I was
able to understand the deeper meaning of ‘everything happening for a reason,’ however, I was
not aware that it would affect my therapy aspects. Facing difficulty is always in the beginning
and part of the first stage before understanding God, but even though most of us struggle with the
trials, in the end, we can tribute the way God wants us to.
Neff and McMinn Review: Part A 10
References
Anonymous. (2022). Web. King James Bible.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/
Harrichand, J. J. S., & Herlihy, B. (2019). Grief and loss: When the professional become
personal. Counseling Today. PDF. https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-
source/ethics/ethics-columns/ethics_may_2019_losing-a-client.pdf?sfvrsn=c018572c_2
Neff, M. A., & McMinn, M. R. (2020). Embodying Integration: A Fresh Look at Christianity in
the Therapy Room. InterVarsity Press.
https://www.scribd.com/read/449985271/Embodying-Integration-A-Fresh-Look-at-
Christianity-in-the-Therapy-Room#
