LIBERTY UNIVERSITY JOHN W. RAWLINGS SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
What to Expect from Christian Based Marriage Counseling
A Paper Submitted to
the Faculty of the School of Divinity
in Candidacy for the Degree of
Doctor of Education in Christian Leadership (Ed. D) Department of Christian Leadership and
Church Ministries
By
Mary Gracias
Lynchburg, Virginia
10/2022
What to Expect from Christian Based Marriage Counseling
As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Seattle Christian Counseling, I occasionally
come across married couples who wonder what makes the Christian counseling process unique.
Their questions help to foster a rich discussion in which we are able to address what truly sets
work with a Christian counselor apart from other forms of treatment that may not hold to this
particular framework. This article addresses these differences and aims to provide you with a
clear framework for Christian based marriage counseling.
A Focus on the Heart and Mind
Marriage counseling that is approached from a Christian or biblical framework accounts for
what spouses are experiencing in their heart and mind. It encourages and challenges the
partners to think through their attitudes, motivations, and perspectives in a thoughtful manner
that enables them to determine ways to closely align those elements with their Christian faith.
This approach recognizes that without a couple first experiencing a change of heart, and making
the necessary effort to live out their faith on a daily basis (such as seen in the mandate to love
your neighbor as yourself), any strategies that are presented to help them reduce conflict will
ultimately fail.
Christian Based Marriage Counseling Tackles the Hard Questions
It is not uncommon for the couples I work with to enter the counseling office with hard
questions regarding their faith in God. Some spouses are angry with God for allowing them to
experience the emotional pain or trauma they’ve regularly dealt with in their marriage. They
struggle to understand how a loving God can allow them to have so much pain in their lives.
Others will often convey having a desire to grow in their faith, after feeling that it has lain
dormant for a period of time. They want to see their passion to serve God rekindled, to see
their hearts transformed, and to have a relationship with their husband or wife that is far better
than it ever was before.
These are only brief examples of what married couples may bring into the counseling
space. However, the Christian marital process creates an environment of safety that allows for
an open dialogue on such issues or questions. That being said, it does not involve harsh
judgements or statements that point to particular scriptures in order to shame a client into
doing “better.” To do so would be contrary to the unending love and grace given by God to all
humankind, despite our sin and imperfections.
Clinical and Biblical Elements in Christian Marriage Counseling
One of the most important aspects of Christian based marriage counseling is the unique
merging of sound clinical and biblical approaches to treatment. No one element is cast aside at
the expense of the other. Rather, each component is viewed as a strong complement to the
other, enabling each married couple to benefit from the depth of knowledge provided by the
fields of counseling and psychology, and from the freedom of knowing that their Christian faith
is seen as an integral part of marital healing, restoration, and change.
