CCOU 301 Research Paper Taming Emotional Storms ESSAY 2019.pdf

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RunningHead:EMOTIONALSTORMS

ResearchPaper:TamingEmotionalStorms Arin

Kinney

CCOU301

common in today’s society that anxiety, depression, anger and grief are more well-known than

they have been in the past. Emotional storms come in all different ways like trauma, relational

disputes, life transitions, unresolved grief, loneliness, and negative situations. Having more

commondiagnosesinthisdayandtimeallowsthistopictobediscussedinmoreofabroadway, because

not one situation or emotional storm is the same. But people also find ways that emotional

storms in their lives can bring them closer to one another, in a sense that they have been through

something similar in their lives. There will also be an explanation of ways to overcome and help

understand why emotional storms happen in life, and using references that refer and relate to

overcoming emotional storms.

There are five kinds of triggers that have the ability to bring on an emotional storms in

there is a complete emotional cutoff in the relationship. The Second trigger of an Emotional

Storm can be brought on by certain life transitions much like a parent dropping their only child

off at college for the first time, it takes a major life adjustment to get used to that type

of change in not only a parent’s life but the child’s as well.Third trigger can be brought on by

unresolved grief from a tough life situation, such as a death in the family.Anormal way of

dealing with unresolved grief is for a person to push down the emotional feelings and putting

thosefeelingsintotheirwork,forexample.TheFourthtriggerislonelinesswhichisseemslikea small

issue, but a lot there are a lot of people in this world that suffer from loneliness and

disconnection from the world and those around them. The Fifth and final trigger is negative

thinking, while some might think that emotions and thinking are two separate emotions, experts

believe that they are one in the same. For example, one might think in order to feel good about

oneself they must be successful in all that they do in order to gain satisfaction but if they do not

feel successful, then they feel as though they have failed themselves (Clinton, 2009).

Whiletherea sixtriggersorcausesthatmake apersonobtainanEmotionalstorm intheir lives,

there are also six ways or steps to calm that emotional storm in someone’s life. The First

stepisbeingabletoidentifyingtheprimaryfeeling,forexample,“Phylliscametoseeusbecause she was

feeling so much anger when she was around her children. She was always irritable and

grumpywhenherkidswereplayingandhavingfun.”(Clinton,2009).Thatsituationgaveinsight as to

connecting primary emotion with a triggering situation, this step is essentially all about

identifying what triggers anger, fear, anxiety, etc. and working through those individually. Step

Three is about targeting negative thinking, which means going through three more steps with

first being honest with yourself and asking hard questions, finding a new outlook on a situation

and lastly looking at the world from a different perspective. Step Four is all about behaving

differently and changing from a comfortable situation and putting yourself out there to try new

things.StepFiveisallaboutusingproblem-solvingtechniquestobettercertainsituationsinyour life.

The Sixth and final step is all about plugging yourself into health relationships and community

with others, because healthy relationships and the five previous steps are what help someone

overcome emotional storms in life. People are not called to do life alone.

Many traumatic things in this world have cause many people to have the need to

overcome emotional storms in their life. Natural disasters are among these traumatic things that

people go through all over the world. It seems as though having lack of control over natural

disasters can possibly be a big root of literal emotional storms that people go through. “When

individuals feel that they have lost control over a situation, unwanted negative emotions may

ensue. Fear/anxiety, which is characterized by uneasiness and uncertainty, may prevail.As a

result,itisproposedthatinthewakeofanaturaldisaster,asindividualscometotermswiththeir

limitedcontroloverthe situation,fear/anxietywill manifest”(Kemp, 2014).Inthisstudyit gives

seventh anniversary and resulted in over $2 billion in damages.Adepiction of the emotional and

psychological experiences as well as the purchase and consumption behavior of individuals that

were a part of this natural disaster is illuminated” (Kemp, 2014). In this study

Kemp, Hensel and Williams conducted a study of the behavior of individuals as they prepared

for, and experienced first-hand the arrival of Hurricane Isaac in 2012.They began with a survey

that was administered online to the residents that had been affected by Hurricane Isaac. The

results ofthisstudydetermined that theresidents experiencedafeeling lackofcontrol,and also fear

and anxiety. Many said that they are accustomed to the threats of Hurricanes, so they just like to

wait it out at home, or if they need to evacuate depending on the category that is administered

(Kemp, 2014). There is a Psychoanalytic Review of Michael Eigen’s book Emotional Storm

which was reviewed by Merle Molofsky, he quotes in his review Eigen says “Life is not only the

storm with infinite faces, the eternal scream, and our interactions as psychoanalysts are not only

with the extreme nonverbal agonies and ecstasies of infancy. But

stormsarecommon.Inasense,everyemotionalinteraction,everynewevent,isastorm,andthe storms

have varying intensities” (Molofsky, 2008). That quote gives a great insight to how emotional

storms can be overcame in life.

There are sadly a lot tragedies within the last twenty years that have occurred to cause

people to have emotional storms in their lives, but as it has been said before emotional storms

rearview mirror so she immediately held her foot on the break bracing for impact.Ashton had

never been in in any type of wreck before, so needless to say after impact she was in shock but

when she came to after a while she became very withdrawn and upset thinking that it was her

fault.Shewastransportedtothenearbyhospital,becauseofcausedneckpainsothatwasascary

experience for her as well. Knowing what had happened, it took her along time to be able to get

inthedriver’sseat,orbestoppedincaratanysortofstopsign.Thatiswhatcouldbeconsidered an

emotionalstorm inherlife,shehadto learn toovercome that fearofbeing inthe driver’sseat again

although it took her a long time she overcame that fear.

Another example of overcoming a huge emotional storm in life, is withAmy.Amy has

always considered her life to be “normal” with the perfectly imperfect family, until she turned

Twelve years old and her life was completely turned upside down. She was sleeping in the back

of the car on her way home from vacation with her mom and sister, she all of a sudden was

woken up by small chatter of a serious conversation between her sister and mom. This

conversation was the beginning ofAmy’s emotional storm, this conversation was the

conversation that no child wants hear that their parents are getting a divorce.After this

conversation the process of her dad moving out came quickly,Amy was not sure what to think

about everything she mostly blamed herself at first.Amonth or so before her 12th birthday,

Amy’s mom made the decision to move the three of them back to their home state of North

strange man who was friends with her mom in high school,Amy knew something was going on.

After the move back to NC she, her mom and sister were just getting settled, and that

sameweekhermomdecidedshewasgoingtothelocalhighschoolfootballgameandshehada date with

her. That date wasAmy’s now stepfather Thom, who was the strange man who had

beencallingtheirhouse.Amyknewfromthatexactmomentthatshehadmethimthattherewas

somethingthatshedidn’tlikeabouthim,andatthetimeshedidnotknowwhatthatwasbutshe soon found

out.After a month and a half of them “seeing one another” they decided to get engaged.Amy was

not very happy about this situation, not only because her mom didn’t give herself enough time to

heal from the divorce, but she also didn’t think it through very carefully.

Fast forward to after the wedding,Amy’s sister and she moved into his house with their

mom. It was an adjustment for them all.Amy’s whole life at that point was just a huge

adjustment;thekidswereonthateveryotherweekendschedulewiththeirparents.Theirdadwas

stilllivingin Georgia at thebeginningof her8th gradeyear and hesoon movedto Rock Hill, SC that

same year which is ten minutes from the NC line, basically meaning that he didn’t have to pay

child supportfor his children. Her dad began to casually dateAmy’s sophomoreyear in high

school, and it was weird, but it was the new normal.Amy’s dad got married shortly after he

During all that time of not speaking to their dad, both girls were going through some of

thetoughesttimes,Amy’sstepdadwerenotgettingalong,hewasbeingverymanipulativetoher

motherandshowingherdifferentsidetoherthanwhathewasshowingtoAmy.Hewasverbally

abusive, tellingAmy that she was not good enough, she wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t pretty

enoughtohaveaboyfriend.Shebegantoletthosethingsthathewasspeakingoverherbecome her

identity. Even though she knew that God was with her during that walk of her life, and she had

family and friends that loved me and supported her, she felt completely alone and completely

broken and shattered. No one knew what she was going through, her mom was completely

oblivious to it all, until her mom began to see it for herself later on down the road.

Thattimeofherlifewassodark,darkerthanshecouldhaveeverimagined.Amyhadreacheda

pointofdepressiontowhereshewashavingthoughtsofsuicide,thoughtsof“Ifsheweretojust leave

now, would anyone notice?” She was just sane enough to know that she needed more out of life,

and God had a purpose for her pain.

After her senior year she had decided to take a gap year, and in that year she needed to

find who she was and what she wanted out of life. Needless to say it didn’t happen, it was the

loneliest year of her life, because all of her friends had left her. But in that year of working and

finding out that her calling was not to be working in a dentist office, she had made the decision

toattendCollegethatfollowingfallsemester.Thatwasthebestdecisionshemadeforherselfat the time,

grudges that were hindering her walk and growth with the Lord.Amy overcame her emotional

storms in her life through forgiveness, faithfulness, and the Love of Jesus.

There are many ways to overcome emotional storms in life, as it has been discussed

throughout this research paper. Be reminded that in Luke 10:40-42 Jesus reminds us that no

matter how hard life may get always choose him “But Martha was distracted by all the

preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my

sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Martha, Martha,” the Lord

answered,“youareworriedandupsetaboutmanythings,butfewthingsareneeded--orindeed only one.

Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (NIV). No matter what

emotional storm one may be going through, there is always one answer and that is Jesus. He is

the one who can help one overcome the Emotional storms in life.