LIBERTY UNIVERSITY JOHN W. RAWLINGS SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
God’s Method of Dealing with Sin in counselling
A Paper Submitted to
the Faculty of the School of Divinity
in Candidacy for the Degree of
Doctor of Education in Christian Leadership (Ed. D) Department of Christian Leadership and
Church Ministries
By
Mary Gracias
Lynchburg, Virginia
10/2022
God’s Method of Dealing with Sin
Undoubtedly, childhood trauma plays a part in the development of habitual
sin. However, spending months wallowing in the quagmire of a man’s past will not help him
find freedom. As biblical counselors, our main concern is to lead the individual into a life of
victory and godliness. Our primary question should not be, “How did this come about?” Rather,
our main question is: “What does the Bible show us about how God deals with it?” An
examination of Scripture reveals that the Lord has established a clear and predictable means of
addressing human problems.
Throughout the entire breadth of Scripture, the Lord has consistently handled sin in the
same manner. When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit, God immediately admonished them. When
the children of Israel sinned in the wilderness, Moses rebuked them. When King Saul rebelled,
the prophet Samuel confronted him. When David fell with Bathsheba, Nathan challenged him.
Throughout the rest of the history of Israel, one sees God consistently respond to sin and
rebellion by reproving the people through the prophets.
When Christ came to earth, He confronted nearly everybody He encountered. In fact, Jesus
told His disciples, “If your brother sins, go and reprove him.” (Matthew 18:15) Even the apostle
Paul—the great champion of grace—continually confronted the sin of those to whom he
ministered.
The inescapable fact is that the Lord never coddles sin. In a misguided sense of compassion,
many often blameshift, minimize or explain away sin in the lives of counselees. Although God is
exceedingly patient and full of grace, He is very unambiguous about His hatred of sin. Indeed,
He has such an abhorrence of it that He sent His Son to die on the cross so that people could be
freed from its tyranny. God is ruthless in His dealings with sin because it destroys the lives of
those whom He greatly loves.
Counseling the Sinner
As Paul was giving his farewell to the Ephesian elders, he said, “Remember that night and
day for a period of three years, I did not cease to admonish each one with tears.” (Acts 20:31)
This statement is very enlightening because it gives insight into how he helped people during
his stay in Ephesus.
The Greek word for admonish (noutheteo) which Paul employed here is defined as: “The
verb means to impart understanding, to set right, to lay on the heart. The stress is on
influencing not merely the intellect, but the will and disposition. The word thus acquires such
senses as ‘to admonish, to warn, to remind, and to correct.’ ”2
This term has become the flagstone of biblical counseling (sometimes referred to as
nouthetic counseling). Although the problems people face can often be very complex, the
biblical counselor’s approach is to systematically work through and resolve the different issues
people are confronted with. Most emotional problems people encounter are caused either as a
direct result of sin in their lives or as an unbiblical response to the sin of others. In another work
I told a story that highlights the way biblical counseling works:
The life of James Kenworth* is a classic example of someone whose problems were
exacerbated by psychotherapeutic treatments. Plagued from childhood with social
awkwardness, James became increasingly more detached from those around him as he grew
into his teen years. His deep-seated fears limited his ability to interact with the other children
at school. As he grew older he began dabbling in pornography, which caused him to withdraw
even more. During his early twenties, he went regularly for counseling and attended twelve-
step groups. After two years of this, his problems became so overwhelming his parents sent
him to a Christian treatment center where anti-depressants were tried as a cure. Five weeks
after leaving that facility he attempted suicide. His parents rushed him to the leading sexual
addiction treatment center in the world. When they came to visit him several weeks later, they
were shocked to find him curled up in a ball, holding a teddy bear. With his medical insurance
about to run out, the staff began looking for another place to send him. Someone mentioned
Pure Life Ministries.
The first day at Pure Life’s live-in facility, he abruptly left the church service and ran down
the street. Nevertheless, the biblical counselors at Pure Life brought him back and began
working with him. He had always been told that he was a victim, but for the first time in his life,
he accepted responsibility for his actions. The counselors required him to maintain a daily
regimen of Bible study and prayer and to treat others with kindness. They told him, “You must
live out in your daily life what the Bible teaches you should do.” James faced tremendous
battles with his flesh and with his thinking, but his counselors always provided encouragement
and showed him patience and love. He began to respond almost immediately. Within weeks, he
was a new person. Jesus Christ had come into his dark inner world and completely transformed
him. It took a couple of years for him to work through some of his issues, but the fact is that he
owes his soundness of mind to Jesus Christ alone.
His story is a case in point, which illustrates the difference between psychotherapy and
biblical counseling. The one pampered him, using futile techniques and human pity which
encouraged victim mentality and large-scale blameshifting. The other confronted him in a
loving way about the selfishness of his sin. When he had viewed himself as a victim, he felt
hopeless. When he saw that the problem was of his own making and that he needed to repent,
immediately he saw also the way out. In other words, instead of being furnished with excuses
for his behavior, he was required to take responsibility for his actions. He was pointed to Jesus
Christ who is the only answer to the problems we have created for ourselves, even if others
contributed to those problems. James discovered that Jesus never disappoints the seeking
heart. His testimony is an irrefutable testimony to what God can do in a person’s life who is
willing to obey.”3
True biblical counseling rests upon the standards Scripture imposes upon the life of the
believer. A godly, loving counselor will patiently work with a man and help him to live up to the
model of Christian life prescribed by the Bible. There is nothing mysterious about it. As the
person begins to obey the Word of God, ungodly attitudes, perspectives and even desires all
begin to change. Not only does the Bible supply the answers to man’s problems, but it is also
the very instrument the counselor uses as he works with him.
The Tool of Our Counsel
The Bible predicts that the last days will be a time of great lawlessness. This lack of respect
for God’s Word creates a moral atmosphere where sin can flourish. What happened in New
York City during the 1980s is a good illustration of this. Violent crime was at epidemic levels
when Mayor Guilianni came into office. He sized up the situation and quickly realized that there
was a prevailing lack of respect for authority that had to be rectified before the crime rate could
be substantially reduced. He ordered the NYPD to begin enforcing all of the laws—even minor
violations such as jaywalking. He also cleaned out all of the adult bookstores, strip clubs and
massage parlors from the Times Square section of Manhattan. Considering how overloaded the
police department was already in handling major crimes, many ridiculed his strategy.
However, to the astonishment of supporters and critics alike, the crime rate immediately
dropped! The truth he tapped into is that when a lawless attitude is prevalent within the
general population, the amount of major crime will increase. Likewise, when people are taught
to respect the law, the number of felonies committed will diminish.
This principle holds true for spiritual
laws as well. Why is sexual sin running rampant within the Church? It is because we have lost
our respect for the authority of God’s Word in our lives. So, one of the first things the biblical
counselor must establish in his own life is a love and respect for Scripture. As he himself learns
to live what is taught in the Bible, he will be more equipped to instruct others to do the same.
The effectiveness of his counsel to others will be directly proportioned to the reality of the
Word of God in his own life.
The Word of God has much to say to the person caught in habitual sin. This divinely
inspired tool has been furnished, but the Lord also needs “the workman who does not need to
be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth.” (II Timothy 2:15) Paul shared with
Timothy, his young protégé, the different ways Scripture might be used to help others:
All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for
training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good
work… For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have
their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own
desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths. (II Timothy
3:16–4:4)
Let us look at these four vital principles and how they apply in a practical sense to helping
men bound in habitual sin.
Teaching the Word
Imagine your typical counseling session. On the desk in front of you is God’s Holy Word.
Sitting across the desk from you is a man whose life has been ravaged by disobedience to that
Word. You must convey to him the importance of explicitly following God’s instructions for life
that are contained therein.
Most likely your first challenge will be that this man has a much exaggerated opinion of his
level of spirituality. In other words, although he has accumulated a lot of information about
Christianity (i.e. head knowledge), he is actually living out only a very small percentage of what
he has learned. Thus, you must lovingly help him to come into reality concerning his true
spiritual state. Having him write out a testimony about what his Christian experience has been
and a complete accounting of his current struggles will give you plenty of “ammunition” at your
disposal as you begin showing him where he really is as a believer.
The truth is that—although he may have been a Christian for many years and possibly can
quote Scripture ad infinitum—he is a baby believer and must be taken back to the basics of
Christianity. He must be taught how—in a practical way—to live what is written in Scripture.
What does it mean to his life to lay up treasures in heaven rather than on earth? How will it
look in his life to actually learn to love others as he loves himself? How can he begin to see the
faults in the lives of others through eyes of love, instead of through “haughty eyes?”
He must also be taught how to live in victory over sin. Teaching this man biblical principles
will help to establish within him a mindset that will guide him as you work with him in the
coming weeks. He will see the path to freedom from sexual sin laid before him in my book At
the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, which gives a systematic accounting of what the Bible teaches on
this subject.
Reproof
Scripture establishes the parameters of a believer’s life, and it is important to educate
one’s sheep about those restrictions. However, “Christian” sex addicts have established a
pattern of picking and choosing when they will obey the Word. The man across from you clearly
needs something stronger than a teaching from a book or sermon. He needs personal help.
Jesus spoke of the narrow path, which is simply a course of life delineated by biblical
guidelines. Occasionally, believers veer off course for a variety of reasons. Indeed, this tendency
is one of the very reasons Jesus had to go to the Cross: “All of us like sheep have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way.” (Isaiah 53:5) Left unchecked, many will continue to stray
until they have completely fallen away from God in their hearts. Solomon said, “The backslider
in heart will have his fill of his own ways…” (Proverbs 14:14)
As spiritual mentors, one of our tasks is to do everything within our power to keep this
from happening to those to whom we minister. This drifting off-course occurs in many different
ways. Even those who truly walk with God will have those times that they inwardly get away
from the Lord.
I remember a time several years ago when Jeff Colon, the director of the Pure Life
Ministries residential program, was struggling spiritually. This is certainly understandable. Living
on site with 50 men seeking freedom from sexual sin is extremely draining. It’s easy to get worn
out and off-track. I could see that Jeff was in trouble, but I wasn’t quite sure how to handle the
situation. One morning the Lord laid it on my heart to confront him. I told him that it was
obvious that he was sliding away from God in his heart. I strongly warned him that he needed
to get himself back on track spiritually. It was a sobering wake-up call. He told me later, “I didn’t
even realize it at the time, but looking back, I can see that if I would have kept going in the
direction I was headed, I very easily could have fallen into sin. Thank you so much!” His
response was just what Solomon said it would be: “Reprove a wise man, and he will love you.”
(Proverbs 9:8)
Another situation in which men need to be confronted is when they begin to pursue sin. In
one’s spiritual journey occasionally there will be strong temptations that will crop up along the
way. Solomon paints a vivid picture of the young man who runs into a beautiful prostitute in
the street: “With her many persuasions she entices him; with her flattering lips she seduces
him. Suddenly he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter…” (Proverbs 7:21–22) This is a
picture of a man being baited into sexual sin.* Every step he takes leads him further into the
insanity that accompanies sexual sin.
When the man of God sees his counselee going astray, he steps between him and the
source of his temptation and in passionate, godly love says, “No! You can’t do that!” He is, in
essence, stopping this man from going over a spiritual cliff. This is biblical reproof. “…if another
Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that
person back onto the right path…”
God has inspired Scripture for this very purpose. The counselor has been given the
authority to reprove this man by the guidelines and mandates it has established. This is very
important for the “Christian” sex addict who has a pattern of selective obedience. The
counselor who uses this tool sparingly and lovingly will find it to be absolutely lifesaving for
some. A timely rebuke will spare some people from a lifetime of suffering. “He is on the path of
life who heeds instruction, but he who forsakes reproof goes astray.” (Proverbs 10:17)
Correction
The corrupting effects of sin upon the human mind should never be underestimated. Sin
has the power to alter a person’s perspectives, values and attitudes. One of the reasons it is
imperative that a believer maintains a vibrant devotional life is because he so desperately
needs the constant influence of God’s perspectives upon his mind.
When the biblical counselor starts working with a man in habitual sin, he soon discovers
that there are many areas of his life that do not line up with Scripture. Correction is there for
the purpose of helping to guide the counselee back into biblical thinking and living. Teaching
establishes the boundaries established by Scripture. Reproof is occasionally used when a man
veers off track. Correction contains elements of both of these. It is setting th
e “broken bones” of the man’s soul. It is helping him to get his thinking untwisted.
Training
Our final term (Gk. paideia) is used only four other times in Scripture—three in the same
chapter. I will provide these verses to give a better comprehension for what this word means:
• And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline
(paideia) and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
• …My son, do not regard lightly the discipline (paideia) of the Lord… (Hebrews 12:5)
• It is for discipline (paideia) that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what
son is there whom his father does not discipline (paideuo)? (Hebrews 12:7)
• All discipline (paideia) for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those
who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Hebrews
12:11)
The verb form of this word used in Hebrews 12:7 (paideuo) is the same word Pilate
employed when speaking of Jesus: “I will therefore punish Him and release Him.” (Luke 22:16)
Translators were correct to apply the term “training” here, but it must be understood that it
contains within it a stronger sense than one would typically think. There is an element of
authority that is connected to this word: father-son, God-believer and even Pilate-criminal
(Jesus).
Training involves one person building into the life of another. Teaching tends to be
impersonal and vague, such as preaching on a particular subject to an entire congregation or
even giving a counselee a book to read. Training, on the other hand, is very personal and
specific.
I must include in here a word of caution to pastors. While the pulpit is the perfect vehicle
for teaching important truths to the entire congregation from the Word of God, it will only
accomplish so much in their lives. There is a reason God has provided ministers with four ways
to use Scripture. If a pastor only teaches and neglects the other three tools at his disposal, his
ministry will only be operating at one-fourth its power! Can you imagine a four-cylinder engine
firing on a single cylinder? It would struggle along, “spitting and coughing.” If people are to be
effectively helped through their struggles, someone must get his hands dirty! Somebody must
be willing to get involved in the lives of individuals.
In Righteousness
I am not a Greek scholar, but I don’t think I would be too far off base grammatically to
suggest that this last term should be coupled with all four usages of the Bible—not simply the
word training. In other words, Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching in
righteousness, for reproof in righteousness, for correction in righteousness, and for training in
righteousness.
The term righteousness primarily has to do with the way believers treat others: having a
concern about the rights of other people. One teacher called it “the other guy’s bill of rights.”
For instance, did you know that six of the Ten Commandments have to do with the way we
interact with other people? Even the first four Commandments revolve around the manner we
behave toward God.
Rest assured that the man in habitual sexual sin is routinely trouncing upon the rights of
God, family members, friends and others. The counselor will help him by teaching him what the
Bible says about godly living, reproving him when he strays off course, correcting sinful thinking
and training him in how to live a life which pleases God. All of this is designed to help the man
learn how to live righteously before God and man. The Bible is “God-breathed” for the purpose
of helping people. No wonder David said, “The Law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul.”
(Psalm 19:7) It inherently contains all that is needed to bring restoration to the wayward soul.
Using Church Discipline
The Word of God is not only the source of our counsel, but it is also the tool we use to help
men escape the insane thinking that sin produces and come into the Lord’s mindset. We have
seen the wonderful ways Scripture can be used to help the man bound in habitual sin: teaching,
reproof, correction, and training. This all falls under the category of discipleship.
But what happens when a man does not apply biblical teaching? What do you do when he
rejects your attempts to reprove or correct him? How do you handle it when he does not
respond to your training? If you care about him, you must take the process to the next level.
The Bible is very practical and provides solutions to this sort of dilemma. Jesus said, “And if
your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your
brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth
of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell
it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and
a tax-gatherer.” (Matthew 18:15–17) In these few statements, He wisely laid down a systematic
course of action one can take to help the resistant believer. It takes place in four steps:
• Reprove in private
• Reprove with two witnesses
• Bring the sin before the entire church
• Treat the sinner as an unbeliever
The process begins with reproof (Gk. elegcho), the very same term used by Paul in the
passage we have examined in this chapter. Jesus later made the statement, “Those whom I
love, I reprove and discipline…” (Revelation 3:19) As we have already observed, reproof is an
important aspect of effective ministry. However, in one sense, the way Jesus uses the term in
regards to church discipline actually encompasses all four of the tools mentioned earlier.* In
other words, the minister has been using the four-fold method of working with the man
outlined above. Nevertheless, the man does not seem to be taking his sin seriously.
At this point stronger measures are in order. Jesus says that we must now reprove him with
“two witnesses.” This statement refers back to the Old Testament economy when two or three
witnesses were required to convict a man of wrongdoing. (Deuteronomy 19:15) In the New
Testament context, this should include church elders or pastors.
There is a very good reason for doing this. Bringing more people into the counseling setting
tends to intensify the seriousness of the situation in the erring brother’s mind. Having two
church elders present will give the man a sense of the gravity of his sin. Countless times over
the years I have seen this wake-up call bring a man to true repentance.
Unfortunately, sometimes even this does not accomplish the desired effect. “And if he
refuses to listen to them,” Jesus goes on to say, “tell it to the church.” Up to this point, his
privacy has been carefully protected, but once the pastor begins to sense that the man is
refusing the correction, he is instructed to bring the sin into the light for all to see. Now the
situation is treated with even more gravity. This man’s future (and possibly even his eternity) is
at stake! He needs to wake up! Perhaps the shame of being exposed before the entire church
will be enough to help him repent.
However, Jesus goes on to say, “if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you
as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.” This is the last step to reach the erring brother. This may seem
extreme, but God takes drastic measures whenever there is an unrepentant sinner in the camp.
(Joshua 7; Acts 5) Dr. Jay Adams said, “No one should be put out of the church because of his
sin (as though some sins require discipline and others do not). No, precisely not that. It is the
failure to ‘hear’ that moves discipline to the final stage of putting one ou
t of your midst.”1
We find an example of this in First Corinthians 5 where a man was living in sin with his
father’s wife. In this instance the man needed to be brought to the final stage of church
discipline quickly: “Remove the wicked man from among yourselves,” Paul told the church.
The Goals of Church Discipline
Without a doubt it takes a great deal of courage for a pastor in our day and age to
excommunicate an unrepentant sinner. Not only must the pastor face the man’s anger, but the
members of his church may misunderstand his intentions. Nevertheless, there are three very
important reasons why it must be done.
First, the spiritual integrity of the church must be maintained. Paul said, “Clean out the old
leaven, that you may be a new lump…” (I Corinthians 5:7) Leaven illustrates the contagious and
corrupting power of sin. A church that is tolerant of sin will soon be full of compromise.
Second, when someone in sin is dealt with openly, it causes the other members of the Body
to comprehend the seriousness of sin. Paul told Timothy, “Those who continue in sin, rebuke in
the presence of all, so that the rest also may be fearful of sinning.” (I Timothy 5:20) This seems
to be a forgotten concept in many of today’s “seeker-friendly” churches.
Third, it is done to save an unrepentant sinner from his sin. Paul told the Corinthians, “I
have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may
be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.” We must remember that God is more concerned about a
person’s eternal destiny than He is about his temporary comfort. If a person refuses to repent,
the time will come when God will “give them over” to their sin. (Romans 1:24, 26) This
happened to the man in Corinth, and we find out later that he repented of his sin. (II
Corinthians 2:6–8) The complete restoration of an erring believer is the ultimate goal of church
discipline.
Is there a place in 21st century Christianity for church discipline? Absolutely! Our loving
Savior has been in the business of correcting wayward souls for a long time. In spite of the fact
that we may not understand what the Lord is doing, we may rest assured in the knowledge that
He has a definite purpose in mind for all His dealings with His children. It is the Word of God
that provides the authority to teach, counsel and discipline.
1 Steve Gallagher, Irresistible to God, Pure Life Ministries, 2003.
2 Geoffrey W. Bromley, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, William B. Eerdman’s
Publishing Co., 1985, p.645.
* A pseudonym.
3 Steve Gallagher, Break Free from the Lusts of This World.
* There was a time when we used to raise and butcher our own cattle at the PLM facility.
We would lay down a trail of corn on the ground, which would lead the young steer to the spot
we had chosen to slaughter him. It was an amazing picture of how Satan tantalizes a man
toward the place where he can spring his trap on him.
