Spiritual Well-Being of Black LGBT Individuals When Faced With Religious Homonegativity

Spiritual Well-Being of Black LGBT Individuals

When Faced With Religious Homonegativity

Chapter 1: Introduction to the Study

Introduction

Historically, the Black Church in the United States has been an important

institution in laying a religious and spiritual foundation. Black churches have

traditionally served the needs and interests of Black individuals (Isaac, Rowland, &

Blackwell, 2007), including for issues of desegregation, politics, morality, and spirituality

(Johnson, 2008). However, Black LGBT individuals often face homophobic sermons and

messages within their traditional religious settings (Harris, 2008; Jeffries, Dodge, &

Sandfort, 2008). For example, some African-American churches exclude same

genderloving (SGL) individuals and/or view them as hell-bound and sinful (Moore,

2008). Surveys about Black opinions on GLBT issues have found that 31% of Blacks

discourage homosexuality (Pew, 2013). These homophobic messages have been

associated with decreased spiritual well-being among Black LGBT individuals and an

inability to reconcile one’s sexual orientation with one’s spiritual identity (Halkitis et al,

2009; Heermann, Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007).

A survey of 2,600 Black LGBT individuals and published by the National Gay

and Lesbian Task Force revealed that 52% of the individuals surveyed stated that their

religious institutions impacted their beliefs (Harris, 2008). This percentage was

significantly less than the same study’s finding that 74% heterosexual Blacks reported the

church was very important to them. Harris (2008) stated that there are several reasons for

homophobia among Black communities and churches. Religious beliefs, historical sexual

exploitation, and racial survival consciousness have been purported as historical

explanations of homophobia in the Black community (Ward, 2005). Some evidence has

suggested that religious organizations are the most oppressive groups for Black gay men

(Pitt, 2010a). The findings of religious oppression and homonegativity by clergy and

congregants towards LGBT individuals in some religious institutions have generated

some concern among scholars (e.g., Schuck and Liddle, 2001).

Problem Statement

Despite this concern, little research has examined the lived experience of Black

LGBT individuals in their traditional organized religious practices. Moreover, little

understanding exists on how Black LGBT individuals are able to integrate their sexual

orientation with their religious background, and if there is a conflict that impacts their

spiritual well being. Previous evidence suggests that a conflict between sexual

orientation and religious faith can lead to internalized homonegativity, suicidal ideation,

shame, and depression (Schuck & Liddle, 2001). The potential significance of these

findings is magnified by the issue that some Blacks are less likely than Whites to seek

out specialized outpatient counseling treatments (Snowden, Wallace, Kang, Cheng, &

Bloom, 2007).

Purpose of the Study

The purpose of this qualitative phenomenological research study was to

understand the lived experiences of Black LGBT individuals. It specifically was

designed to examine these individuals’ spiritual well-being when they face

homonegativity within traditional organized Christian religions, and the ways in which

they cope with these experiences.

Nature of the Study/Research Questions

This study used a phenomenological approach that employed several questions

designed to elicit participants’ lived experiences as Black LGBT individuals who left a

traditional organized religious setting. The use of a phenomenological approach assisted

in giving a voice to the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals in this study. This

approach afforded me the ability to have an intellectual and personal exchange with

participants leading to an understanding of the phenomena being studied (Paul & Frieden,

2008). A phenomenological method was best for use with a study because it helps with

the exploration of the meaning of the participants’ lived experience (Wertz, 2005). Other

research methods would not have explored in depth the lived experience of the

phenomena of the Black LGBT individual within traditional organized religious settings.

As a researcher, I wanted to know the lived experiences of Black LGBT individuals with

respect to spirituality and/or Christian religion, and to determine if Black LGBT

individuals experience and cope with homonegativity within traditional organized

Christian religions. Black SGL individuals in general have a documented difficulty in

reconciling their sexuality with their religious beliefs (Pitt, 2010a, 2010b).

Theoretical Frameworks

Pargament’s (1997) theory on the psychology of religion and coping and feminist

theory guided this study (Brown, 2010; Greene, 2000) . Pargament argued that religion

could provide coping strategies for stressful situations in some individuals’ daily lives,

either through acts of conservation or transformation. In the context of this theory,

conservation refers to the protection or maintenance of what is of significance;

Transformation describes the process wherein the previous values are no longer feasible

and attempts are made to change what was previously of significance. Through the theory

of religion and coping, I expected that in hearing the lived experiences of the Black

LGBT individuals who participate in this study there would be both stories of

conservation and transformation.

Hill and Pargament (2003) explored advances in how religious and spiritual

beliefs can impact one’s physical and mental health. Some social scientists have

suggested that some individuals garner health benefits from support by members, leaders,

and clergy of churches (Hill & Pargament, 2003). Leading a spiritual or religious life

does not always have health benefits, however. There are interpersonal struggles that can

arise between the individual, their family members, significant others, members of the

church, or other religious entities (Hill & Pargament, 2003). In addition, there are the

internal struggles that can occur which involve an individual’s virtues, feelings, and

actual behavior (Hill & Pargament, 2003). These researchers noted that attachment

theories suggesting that having a secure attachment to God might help in stressful

situations and everyday circumstances. They also suggested that this attachment could

cause an individual to develop lower levels of physiological stress and loneliness.

Measurements of one’s closeness to God have been developed by a number of

researchers (Hill & Pargament, 2003; Hall & Edwards, 1996; Kass et al., 1991; Maton,

1989b; Pargament, 1988). These instruments measure one’s perceived closeness to their

God/gods and have been used as indicators of mental and physical health (Hill &

Pargament, 2003).

This research was also guided by feminist theory, as it is applicable within a

therapeutic relationship and as a means of personal empowerment. Feminist theory is an

outcome of the women’s empowerment movement that initially focused only on women

and gender. However, it has become more inclusive and useful for all people (Brown,

2010). Feminist therapy has a background of being egalitarian, which in itself can

empower the client through both the therapist and the client being equal in the

relationship (Brown, 2010). As applied to this research study, feminist theory allowed

me as the researcher to be cognizant of the equal relationship that I established with the

participants. These equal relationships were established through several methods of

interacting with the participants, as suggested by Brown (2010). The participants had a

voice in how they were addressed (i.e., their first name, last name, or title) and they also

had an option as to how I was addressed. As much as possible, the locations where the

research took place (LGBT centers, participants’ homes, or churches) were individually

determined by both the participants and myself.

One of the major components of feminist therapy is to let the issue of trust evolve

in the therapeutic relationship (Brown, 2010). I explained the role of confidentiality in

the research, and through my actions toward the participants their trust would be earned,

in accordance with the suggestions of Brown (2010). Black lesbians and bisexual women

face discrimination; however, they still strive and thrive, and therapists must be aware of

this resiliency that they possess (Greene, 2000). Individuals who are empowered can face

life challenges and potentially respond to them with a sense of well-being (Brown, 2010).

Black LGBT individuals who are empowered can integrate their heritage and culture with

their sexual identity without negating their spirituality (Brown, 2010). Being empowered

can assist the Black LGBT individual who is seeking a sense of spiritual well-being that

can lead to negating, coping with, and counteracting internalized and external

homonegativity. These theories are discussed in more detail in Chapter 2.

Operational Definition of Key Terms

Affirming Faith Experience: Acceptance of an individual’s sexual orientation and

behavior in a faith based community (Lease, Horne, & Noffsinger-Frazier, 2005).

Christian Ally: A Christian heterosexual individual who is also supportive and

affirming of the LGB individual (Borgman, 2009).

Christian Identity: An individual who identifies as having Christian-based beliefs

(Borgman, 2009).

Homonegative: An expression or belief that is negative towards a SGL individual

(Rye & Meaney, 2010).

Homophobia: A fear of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or

transgender (Ward, 2005).

Internalized Homonegativity: An anti-gay social attitude that is self-directed

(Herek, Gillis, & Cogan, 2009).

Non-affirming Faith Experience: An experience in a faith-based community that

is not accepting of an individual’s sexual orientation and behavior (Lease, Horne,

Noffsinger-Frazier, 2005).

Organized Traditional Religion: An organized traditional set of doctrines that

dictate how the group should outwardly express their faith (Lease, Horne, &

NoffsingerFrazier, 2005).

Same Gender Loving: A term used to describe people who have an emotional and

physical attraction to someone of the same gender (Smith, 2009).

Spirituality: A term that describes seeking for meaning and a connection with

others to self-transcendence through authenticity (Lease, Horne, & Noffsinger-Frazier,

2005).

Assumptions

Following are the assumptions I made for this study. It was assumed that each of

the participants had previously had a non-affirming faith experience that negatively

impacted their spiritual well-being. This assumption was based on the experiences of the

researcher’s family members who are of the LGBT community and have had

nonaffirming faith experiences and the researcher’s own awareness of homonegativity

within some religious settings. It was also assumed the participants would answer

truthfully.

Limitations and Delimitations

Following are the limitations and delimitations of the study. The limitations of

this study included the participants being selected from one geographic location; as a

result, the findings might not be generalizable to Black LGBT individuals in other regions

of the country. This study was further limited by the small number of 10 participants,

which might decrease its generalizability to all Black LGBT individuals.

This research was open to all religious groups, yet only Christians responded. Therefore,

this research may not be generalizable to other religious groups. There was also only one

transgender individual included in this research, so a study with only transgender

individuals may yield different results. The results may not be generalizable to LGBT

individuals of other races who have had homonegative experiences in a traditional

organized religious setting or to Black LGBT individuals who have not experienced

homonegativity in traditional organized religious settings.

With respect to delimitations, as only Black LGBT participants were interviewed

for the study to address a gap in the literature, the results are limited to this racial LGBT

group. In addition, as a qualitative methodology was used leading to a small number of

participants, the findings are bound to these participants solely as opposed to a larger

group of Black LGBT individuals. A final delimitation is the region of the country from

which the participants were selected.

Significance of the Study

The significance of this study is it will add to the limited information available

concerning the spiritual well-being of the Black LGBT individual. In addition, this study

was designed to provide therapists with information that would be useful in treatment

strategies for the Black LGBT individual. Schuck and Liddle (2001) stressed the

importance of therapists being able to assist the LGBT client with issues of conflict

between their sexual orientation and their religious beliefs. A therapist who is informed

and aware of how these conflicts impact the mental and spiritual well-being of their

clients will be better prepared to work with this population (Schuck & Liddle, 2001). In

addition, therapists who are aware of how other Black LGBT individuals have resolved

their issues of religious and sexual orientation conflict will be better equipped to assist

future clients (Halkitis et al., 2009; Schuck & Liddle, 2001).

This study’s implications for positive social change include creating a better

understanding of the impact of Christian religion on the mental and spiritual well being of

the Black LGBT individual. They also include providing information for the therapists

and psychologists who are seeking data that would be beneficial for informing their Black

LGBT clients’ treatment strategies. Additional potential implications for positive social

change include providing positive information for the Black religious LGBT individual

that may want data on how others have reconciled their sexual orientation with their

religious beliefs. Gathering information on this population’s spiritual well-being, or lack

of, can assist in the therapeutic relationship and aid in the healing process of negative

religious experiences (Schuck & Liddle, 2001).

Summary

A Black LGBT individual’s spiritual well-being is an important aspect of their

overall psychological health. However, there is a dearth of research on how members of

this demographics’ spiritual well-being are impacted by traditional organized Christian

religion. This study used a phenomenological research method in order to record and

analyze the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals, their perspectives of their

spiritual well-being, homonegative experiences in organized traditional religious settings,

and strategies that they have used that have helped them to cope with these experiences.

Chapter 2 contains the literature review, Chapter 3 discusses the methodology and

procedures, Chapter 4 presents the results, and Chapter 5 provides discussion,

conclusions, and recommendations for future studies.

Chapter 2: Literature Review

Introduction

There is a lack of research addressing the impact of homonegative experiences in

church on the spiritual well-being of the Black lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered

individual. The limited extant research on this topic has indicated that Black LGBT

individuals experience segregation and discrimination from organized religious

institutions (Heermann, Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007). A study by Jeffries, Dodge, and

Sandfort (2008) that examined religion and spirituality among North American Black

bisexual males suggested that future research on this topic should include and focus more

on the religious and spiritual aspect of the Black LGBT individual. This research study

delved into the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals in religious settings and if

there was any impact on their spirituality. The purpose of this phenomenological

research study was to understand the lived experiences of Black LGBT individuals, their

spiritual well-being when they face homonegativity within traditional organized Christian

religions, and how they cope with these experiences.

Overview

The organization of this chapter begins with a description of the theoretical

foundation and a brief discussion of the distinction between religion and spirituality. The

following section addresses spirituality and the impact it can have on a person’s

wellbeing. The next section discusses Christian religion and how affirming and non-

affirming religious experiences impact the LGBT individual. Included within this section

will be a discussion on Christian religion and the Black LGBT individual. Then there will

be a discussion on homonegativity and the potential detriments it can cause. A section on

sexual orientation identity will follow. The next section discusses how LGBT allies

integrate and resolve their Christian identity and how this helps to support LGBT

individuals.

Literature Search Strategy

Due to the scarcity of available information on this topic, the literature search for

this dissertation examnied peer-reviewed articles across broad domains. The search for

articles began in December 2009 and extended through July 2011, using various

resources: Walden University’s EBSCO databases, SAGE Premier 2010, LGBT Life with

Full Text, SocINDEX with Full Text, PsycARTICLES, and Thoreau Search by Subject

were searched. The key words searched were: Black LGBT individual, LGBT,

homosexual, sexual orientation, organized religion, traditional religion, religion,

spirituality, spiritual well-being, gay, homonegative, church, African-American church,

and Black church. This gave me a very broad range of articles with a large number of

articles, although not usable for my topic. To narrow my search, I inserted two or more

words from my research question into the search engine, allowing me to find more

pertinent articles. Once I found 25 articles that were suitable for my literature review, I

checked the reference sections and was able to find additional articles. I also did an

Internet search in which I found a couple of articles that were pertinent to my research.

There were a total of 75 journal articles that I used for my dissertation. A

significant portion of my research articles stemmed from these journals: Journal of

Homosexuality, Journal of Counseling Psychology, Counseling and Values, American

Psychologist, Pastoral Psychology, Journal of Bisexuality, Black Theology, Journal of

Death, Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services, Journal of LGBT Issues in

Counseling, Nova Religio, Sociology of Religion, The Journal of Ministry and Theology,

and Journal of the Scientific Study of Religion.

Theoretical Foundation

Pargament’s theory of religion and coping is what drove this research. Religion is

important to most Americans (Pew, 2008). It serves as an important method of coping

with a variety of issues that people face on a day-to-day basis (Hill & Pargament, 2003;

Lease et al., 2005). Pargament (1997) described religion as being a shelter from the

world. I used this theory as the catalyst in moving forward with this research and

assisting me in understanding the coping strategies or lack of strategies that the

participants used.

Pargament’s original theory of religion and coping lists three reasons to study

religion and coping from a psychological perspective. The principles of Pargament’s

(1997) theory of religion and coping are summarized as:

1. Studying religion and coping can teach us about coping situations that reveal

the dark side of the human condition as well as the more valiant side. The

religious dimension was often not a part of the studies that were done, even

though religion was often present in some aspect.

2. Studying religion and coping can also teach us more about religion. Some

people have a difficult time relating the abstracts of religion to their personal

lives on an everyday basis. When they experience a crisis or coping situation

they may be able to rely on their reservoir of religious resources and may or

may not be able to contend with the situation.

3. Studying religion and coping has a practical side. When people are facing

problems and difficult times, they might generally be more flexible. Shaking

people up prior to getting them to change is a method that is used in many

religions and therapeutic approaches. Crises are opportunities for people to

make changes to how they previously viewed and dealt with situations. It is a

chance for the individual to choose a different path than what they were on.

Pargament (1997) also discussed how the psychology of religion and coping

would not fit every issue and situation. This researcher gave an analogy of a child with a

hammer as a new toy and how the child tends to bang on square objects with the hammer

attempting to make them fit into a round hole. The comparison was to the psychology of

religion and coping, and how in psychological settings, religion should not be pounded

into a person to fit as a source of dealing with stressful situations and coping. Religion,

for many, can run the gamut of being helpful in joyful situations as well as painful ones,

and can benefit individuals in ordinary and extraordinary situations (Pargament, 1997).

The premise of this theory is to understand how the integration of religion and coping can

be a function of an individual’s worldviews, practices, and methods of how they cope

with stressful situations. Understanding an individual’s worldview is as equally important

as how they integrate aspects of their lives. By applying this theory to the experiences of

the participants in this study will assist in understanding their worldview and their coping

strategies.

Feminist theory was used to assist in the understanding of the LGBT individual’s

worldview. Through the lens of feminist theory, the participants and therapists delve

together into analyzing, questioning, and relating (Brown, 2010). Feminist theory

originated from the feminist movement and a need to be inclusive of cultures that were

marginally regulated to the patriarchal social systems (Brown, 2010). This marginalized

segment of society included, but was not limited to, people of color, gender variant

people, poor people, Euro-American women, immigrants, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and

transgendered people (Brown, 2010). Feminist practice also has at its roots a concern for

the understanding of patriarchy and its cultural and historical roots (Brown, 2010).

Within the feminist therapeutic system, all aspects are taken into consideration,

including the diagnosis and how the therapist and client relate (Brown, 2010). A strong

point of feminist theory is the usage of an interdisciplinary practice; encompassing

women and men from other psychotherapeutic disciplines in caring for people’s

wellbeing (Brown, 2010).

Distinction Between Spirituality and Religion

The manner in which a person makes meaning and forms conclusions concerning

the issues, challenges, and viewpoints of their world is their worldview (Pargament,

1997). There are a wide variety of definitions of spirituality (Love, Bock, Jannarone, &

Richardson, 2005) with many of them viewing spirituality as a function of a person’s

inner connection with an entity that provides a sense of well-being. In the United States

of America, some definitions of religion lean more toward a practice of a set of stable

rules, or a dogma, that is formed by one or more individuals who determine how the

prescribed doctrine must be adhered to. For example, Love et al. (2005) proposed a

definition of spirituality that focuses on meaning making, forming a connection with

others and self-transcendence. Hill and Pargament (2003) asserted that spirituality is a

part of a religious experience that it is subjective and personal to the individual. Smith

(2009) described the difference between religion and spirituality as spirituality being a

motivator through optimism, hope, and faith, while describing religion as oppressing

because of misinterpretations of Scripture that lead to faulty doctrine (p. 119). Lease et al.

(2005) stated the meaning of religion has morphed into an institutional and doctrinal

expression of faith. The use of surveys can further assist with the distinction between

spirituality and religion.

Bender (2007) noted that survey instruments that measure spirituality generally

ask questions concerning the person’s intrinsic experiences, psychological well-being,

and self-identification; whereas, religious survey measurements are based on questions

concerning a person’s extrinsic activities, participation in the church, and adherence to

doctrine or community that they are affiliated. The survey shows very distinct differences

between spirituality and religion; however, these terms are often used interchangeably

and inconsistently (Zinnbauer et al., 1997).

Zinnbauer et al. (1997) conducted a study on how individuals, including religious

and spiritual believers, define the terms religiousness and spirituality. One of the findings

of their research was the inconsistency of how religion and spirituality are defined. How

an individual perceives and incorporates spirituality and religion can determine how they

see the world. The practice of religious beliefs can have an impact on an individual’s

worldview, especially when they are experiencing stressful circumstances (Pargament,

Magyar-Russell, & Murray-Swank, 2005).

Spirituality and its Impact on Well-being

Most individuals have some spiritual ritual that they participate in that brings

them comfort and peace in times of challenges, for example, praying and meditating.

Having a spiritual ritual can have a very positive impact on one’s well-being. Heermann,

Wiggins, and Rutter (2007) suggest having a spirituality that is strong, and wellgrounded,

generally has a positive impact on a person’s well-being. They discussed how a LGBT

individual could integrate their sexual orientation and religion or spirituality in a way that

could have a positive outcome. One case study was presented using Socratic questioning

combined with cognitive theory (Heermann, Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007). The Socratic

questions that were asked of the participant were used to get the participant to think

critically and draw his own conclusions. One of the questions was, “What about Jeffrey’s

identity and persona would be cause for rejection by these church peers” (Heermann,

Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007). The counselor was able to recognize the cognitive distortions

that plagued Jeffery through his answers, and suggested bibliotherapy (Heermann,

Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007). Jeffery’s cognitive distortions led him to internalize a belief

that anyone who was not gay would judge him negatively, including his counselor

(Heermann, Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007). The counselor recommended that Jeffery read The

Feeling Good Handbook (Burns, 1990) to assist with addressing the cognitive distortions

and other distressing thoughts. In subsequent sessions, Jeffery and his counselor worked

on a variety of issues including finding a church that was inclusive and accepting of his

gay identity (Heermann, Wiggins, & Rutter, 2007).

Love et al. (2005) researched the spiritual experiences and identity interaction of

12 lesbian and gay college students in their late teens to late 20s at two public universities

in the mid-west. Love et al. noted that spiritual identity that is developed and expressed in

the mid-teens could affect achieving a strong religious foundation, which in turn may

make it more difficult to develop a spiritual identity. The topic of multiple identities was

encountered in participants who were, either, reconciling their sexual identity with their

spirituality, not being able to do so, or not having yet dealt with this issue. Love et al.

made a comparison between biracial and bisexual identity with the participants

attempting to integrate their sexual orientation and reconcile multiple identities (sexual

orientation and spirituality or religious identity). All the participants in this study were

Caucasians, and transgendered individuals were excluded, thus this study might not be

generalizable to the Black lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) individual.

Affirming and Non-affirming Religious Experiences

Some LGBT individuals have affirming faith experiences. Lease et al. (2005)

conducted a study with 583 Caucasian LGB individuals who had affirming faith

experiences within their traditional organized religious communities. The study consisted

of 343 men and 240 women who were affiliated with a faith group (spiritual or religious

group) (Lease et al.). The researchers were interested in the relationship between four

different areas: current faith affirmation experiences, psychological health, internalized

homonegativity, and spirituality (Lease et al.). Their hypothesis was positive faith group

experiences should lead to improved psychological health. They used an 18-item

measurement that assessed internalized homonegativity, spirituality, and psychological

health (Lease et al.). This was based on the Caucasian LGB individual’s attitude and

experiences associated with their membership in an organized faith group (Lease et al.).

These researchers concluded that having affirming faith experiences are beneficial to the

Caucasian LGB individual. This study highlighted the importance of religion and

spirituality in the Caucasian LGB individual’s life through positive affirming faith group

experiences, which can also assist in the elimination of internalized homonegativity. This

study might not be generalizable to Black LGB or transgendered individuals, whether

they had affirming or nonaffirming experiences with their faith group, due to the lack of

participation by Black LGB or transgendered individuals in the study.

Henrickson discussed how authority in some traditional religions could cause an

estrangement between LGBT individuals and religion (2009). He stated that he

recognized that all religious traditions do not have moral or theological difficulties with

homosexuality. Henrickson went on to discuss how there are three primary sources of

religious authority and how some portions of each are embedded within religious

traditions. Scripture, tradition, and reason are the primary sources that he cited. As

examples of the importance of these, Henrickson related how a lectern that is in the center

of the church with a large Bible highlights scriptures, large chairs on an ornate altar can

dictate tradition, and a simple space with a speaker’s platform or pulpit speaks of reason.

His discussion of the use of these three sources of authority is a way of determining and

establishing whether members in some religious settings are considered to be in good

standing with their religious dogma.

Schuck and Liddle conducted a study of religious conflicts experienced by

lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals (2001). Their study consisted of 66 respondents

who were gay, lesbian, and bisexual. The participants consisted of various ethnicities:

White, Black, Latino, Multicultural, and three who did not specify. The researchers’

primary question was whether the participants had a conflict with their sexual orientation

and their Christian religion. According to their results, participants stated that some

sources of conflict mentioned were passages in the Bible that condemned homosexuality,

prohibited all non-marital sex, and religious teachings against homosexuality (Schuck &

Liddle, 2001).

Kubicek et al. conducted a mixed method exploration of the role of religion and

spirituality in the lives of young men who have sex with men (YMSM) (2009). These

participants were taken from the Healthy Young Men (HYM) study. The qualitatively

grounded theory study had 36 respondents from three ethnic groups. Twelve young men

had high levels of religiosity, 12 had high levels of spirituality and low levels of

religiosity, and 12 young men had both low spirituality and religiosity. The quantitative

study was conducted from 2005-2006, N = 483, and was a two year longitudinal study

with a cohort that was ethnically diverse consisting of YMSM in Los Angles. The

participants had to be: (a) Between 18-24 years of age; (b) Self-identified as gay or

bisexual or uncertain of sexual orientation and/or had sex with a man; (c) Self-identified

as White, Black, or Latino of Mexican descent; and (d) Residing in LA county for at least

6 months. Kubicek et al. noted that one of the difficulties of the age of the respondents

was that they were in the midst of identifying their sexuality, which could have interfered

with their religious or spiritual identity process (2009). The findings of this research

varied depending on the denomination in which the respondents were affiliated, their

family’s views on homosexuality, and whether they had been exposed to homonegative

messages at home or in a religious setting (Kubicek et al., 2009). Some of the religious

and non-religious affiliations that were noted were Eastern Religions, Muslim,

Protestant/Christian, Wicca, Scientologist, Pagan, Agnostic, and Atheist. A large number

of the respondents in the qualitative research described having internalized

homonegativity, believing that their sexuality would cause them not to be saved (Kubicek

et al., 2009). Over a period of time, most of the respondents developed an individualized

spirituality that included a belief that God was loving and nonjudgmental (Kubicek et al.,

2009).

Wilcox (2002) looked at a study that was conducted over a four-year period from

1995-1999. This study was conducted at five Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC)

located in California with a focus on two particular Christian churches for intensive

portions of the project (Wilcox, 2002). Wilcox interviewed 72 participants that included

leaders of the church, pastors, as well as attendees and former affiliates of the churches

(Wilcox, 2002). Wilcox found that the conflict that exists between lesbian, gay, bisexual,

and transgender identity and traditional Christian views makes for a human dilemma that

questions how the LGBT individual is to live (2002). Some LGBT individuals choose not

to be a part of any organized traditional religions, instead choosing to maintain an

individual sense of spirituality. This study may not be generalizable to other MCC

congregations due to the vast theological diversity within the MCC denominations.

Maher (2006) conducted research with 468 gay and lesbian religious groups,

described as Jewish, Lutheran, Catholic, and Baptist within the time frame of March 1989

through June 1993. The researcher’s criterion for a ‘gay and lesbian religious group’ was

a group that had either 50% or more gay or lesbian membership or focused on religious

issues pertaining to gays (Maher, 2006). There were six questions that were asked,

ranging from the history of the group to the future of the group (Maher, 2006). Some

questions were not answered due to the contact person not knowing the answers

concerning the history of the group (Maher, 2006). In addition, other questions were

answered inaccurately due to the contact person’s limited knowledge of the organization

(Maher, 2006). Through his research, Maher discovered that these groups existed for

numerous reasons, including but not limited to, a social and support outlet, worship

opportunities, educational resource, political goals, providing community service, and

leadership in the gay and lesbian community. The major limitation of this study was that

Maher only interviewed one contact person from each group, limiting accurate and

complete information; however, he was able to ascertain some reasons why the groups

existed.

Historically, Black churches have been strong advocates of social justice;

however, when it pertains to issues of gay and lesbian rights, these same churches often

ostracize the Black gay and lesbian Christian (Maher, 2006). The various groups that

were part of this study had different future needs; some hoped for acceptance in

mainstream religions, some thought they would become more active in the lives of those

who had been oppressed, others wanted to make a difference in the spirituality of the

heterosexual individual, and still others wanted to develop spiritual leadership to a wider

community (Maher, 2006).

There were a variety of messages that the participants in these studies received

from family and in church settings. Kubicek et al. (2009) found that the respondents in

their research suggested their level of spirituality and faith determined how the

homonegative messages were received. Non-affirming experiences, whether they were in

a religious setting or not had the potential to have a negative effect on an individual.

Homonegativity and the Potential Determinants

Experiencing homonegativity has the potential to cause some LGBT individuals

to be depressed, experience internalized homonegativity, and have other detrimental

effects. Several studies have been conducted throughout Europe and the United States to

determine how the LGBT individual is impacted by homonegativity.

Ward (2005) researched a variety of sources on Black churches in the USA and

discussed how some of these churches are perpetuating homophobia. Black churches

have been extremely influential on the Black individual’s life, even when they no longer

are affiliated with a church as an adult (Ward, 2005). Ward’s review was based on an

analysis of literature, conversations with clergy, and lectures focusing on socio-cultural

issues pertaining to several fields, history, gender studies, politics, and theology. Ward

(2005) suggested that there are sources of homophobia within the Black community,

other than the church itself. Religious beliefs, historical sexual exploitation, and racial

survival consciousness have been purported to be historical explanations of homophobia

in the Black community (Ward, 2005). Historical sexual exploitation is viewed as a result

of how Black sexuality was exploited during and after slavery by whites, the

demonization of Black sexuality, and the denigration of Blacks through a variety of

means by whites (Ward, 2005). Ward related that Western and traditional African

religious beliefs have contributed to homophobia (2005), and that there is a racial

survival consciousness that stems from racism, racial stereotypes, and the struggle against

white domination of the Black man (Ward, 2005).

Griffin’s book, Their Own Receive Them Not (2006), is an analysis that provides

background information on Black homosexuality, LGBT churches, and information on

overcoming homophobia for Black church leaders who are seeking change. Harris (2008)

states that a flaw of this book is the way in which it appears to communicate that all

Black churches are homophobic, while at the same time saying that it is those same

church leaders who are seeking ways to confront homophobia. Griffin (2006) discusses

the translation of the Bible passages that some Christian churches use to promote

homophobia and how these translations have evolved over the years.

A Whosever Church: Welcoming Lesbians and Gay Men into African American

Congregations (Comstock, 2001) states that there are churches that do welcome gay men

and lesbians. Almost in direct contradiction with Griffin’s ideology, Comstock interviews

church leaders who work at welcoming LGBT individuals (Comstock, 2001).

The final review is a compilation of various writings titled Spirited: Affirming the

Soul and Black Gay/Lesbian Identity (James & Moore, Eds, 2006). Black lesbians and

gays telling their stories of pain and sorrow mingled with joy, and turning to religious

institutions that are not within the mainstream of churches is the focus of this book

(2006). Here it is noted how some traditional Black church leaders have difficulty with

the issue of sexuality of any sort, which in turn causes some lesbian and gay individuals

to turn away from the traditional Black church (James & Moore, Eds, 2006). Even though

these books are all about the struggle that Black LGBT individuals face, they are told

from three different perspectives. Their Own Receive Them Not (Griffin, 2006) is based

on the perspective of one person who utilizes a variety of references. A Whosever

Church: Welcoming Lesbians and Gay Men into African American Congregations

(Comstock, 2001) is based on interviews of a number of religious leaders who welcome

lesbian and gay individuals into their religious communities. Lastly, Spirited: Affirming

the Soul and Black Gay/Lesbian Identity (James & Moore, Eds., 2006) is a compilation of

narratives by Black lesbian and gay individuals who are telling stories of their struggles

and experiences in finding their religious identities. Harris’s (2008) review of these three

books concerning the interaction of homosexuality and the Black Church related there

were extreme struggles within the Black Church, especially in the historically African

American Protestant denominations with homosexuality (Harris, 2008). This struggle was

most evident in the early 1980s when Autoimmune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) was

being diagnosed in the gay population affecting a large number of gay men (Harris,

2008). These reasons stem from negative perceptions from the white population

concerning Black’s sexuality, sexuality in general, and deviant sexuality (Harris, 2008).

Homonegativity exists in some European countries as well. Stulhofer and Rimac

(2009) conducted a study on the large influence of disapproving attitudes in various

European countries towards LGBT individuals. Their analysis was primarily focused on

the effects of the past, present, and future towards homonegativity (Stulhofer & Rimac,

2009). The impact of tradition focused on the religious aspect where it was observed that

the Protestant countries were not as sexually repressed as Catholic and Eastern Orthodox

countries (Stulhofer & Rimac, 2009). It was thought that three situations would impact

modernization: education of a large number of people, growth in city living, and financial

growth (Stulhofer & Rimac, 2009). The impact of post-modernization on homosexuality

would likely be due to post materialism and immigration (Stulhofer & Rimac, 2009). The

European Value Study (EVS) was the instrument that was used; the sample size was

41,000, participants were 18 years and older, there were 112 questions, and the interviews

were conducted in the participant’s homes. There was a wide range of homonegativity in

Europe based on the analysis of Stulhofer and Rimac (2009).

Scandinavian countries were the most accepting of homosexuality (Stulhofer & Rimac,

2009). On the other end of the spectrum were the Eastern Orthodox countries, with the

most homonegativity (Stulhofer & Rimac, 2009).

Homonegativity can occur in any setting or location, not just in religious settings

(Harris, 2008; Ward, 2005). Regardless of where the homonegativity experience occurs,

it can have a detrimental affect on the individual. American Black LGBT individuals are

not the only group of people to experience homonegativity. Experiencing any type of

negativity can be a hindrance to a person’s identity development. Identifying one’s sexual

orientation can be hampered when there is the possibility that acceptance from others

may not be possible.

Sexual Orientation Identity

The role of religion can impact the LGB individual’s family member’s reaction to

the sexual orientation identity of the LGB individual (Lease & Shulman, 2003). Lease

and Shulman surveyed 88 family members of LGB individuals to see how their religion

impacted their acceptance of the family member’s sexual orientation, and to see if there

was any conflict in their integration of the two. The family member’s ages were from

2080, and the mean was 50 years (Lease & Shulman, 2003). The participants were asked

demographic, Likert-type, and opened ended questions (Lease & Shulman, 2003). The

Likert-type questions assessed the role of religion, religious views on homosexuality, and

decisions regarding the participant’s religious beliefs (Lease & Shulman, 2003). The open

ended questions pertained to acceptance, religion’s role and the integration of religion

and acceptance of the sexual orientation and identity of the family member

(Lease & Shulman, 2003). The participants in this study were acquired through Parents,

Families and Friends of Lesbian and Gays (PFLAG) chapter coordinators, listservs,

email, and word of mouth (Lease & Shulman, 2003). Grounded theory was used to

analyze the qualitative data. Some of the participants’ religions and religious views

changed over time; however, at the time of the sexual orientation disclosure, 69% of the

participant’s religions were not accepting or somewhat accepting of homosexuality, 6%

where neutral, and 19% were somewhat or absolutely accepting (Lease & Shulman,

2003). At the time of this study, some participants had not been able to reconcile their

religious doctrines and their family member’s sexual orientation (Lease & Shulman,

2003). Some took the stance of spirituality as opposed to their organized religion, while

others choose to put the message of God’s love over the religious dogma their churches

taught, and still others chose to either leave their churches or reduce their involvement

(Lease & Shulman, 2003).

Jeffries, Dodge, and Sandfort (2008) conducted a qualitative study with a

grounded theory analytical approach. The participants were 28 Black bisexual men

between the ages of 18-44, selected in New York City from a larger study (n = 31), HIV

Risk and Prevention Among At-Risk Men Who Have Sex With Both Men and Women

(Jeffries et al., 2008). Jeffries et al. (2008) only used socio-demographic characteristics.

These men were recruited from a variety of locations where gay men were known to

frequent in that area (Jeffries et al., 2008).

The Jeffries et al. (2008) research questions were:

1. What is the nature of religious experiences among bisexual Black men?

How do they negotiate religious convictions in light of their sexualities;

and

2. How do bisexual Black men characterise [sic] their spiritual convictions?

In what ways does spirituality work in tandem to, yet distinct from,

institutional religion? (p. 466).

Religion and spirituality were very important to the men in this study. However, most of

them expressed that their religious community did not know of their sexual orientation.

Some felt it would not have made a difference, some were unsure, and others felt they

would have been ostracized if their bisexuality were known (Jeffries et al., 2008). Some

religious communities that these men were affiliated with did not frown upon fornication

with a female; however, sex with a man was cause for being condemned (Jeffries et al.,

2008). Four of the participants’ sense of spirituality was useful in helping them to cope

with the hostility they felt from some religious people (Jeffries et al., 2008). Several of

the bisexual participants were told by family and friends they were “confused” and “sick”

for having an attraction to both sexes (Jeffries et al., 2008). This study could not be

generalizable to the Black lesbian, gay male or transgendered population.

Another study that discusses the sexual orientation identity of the gay male is a

phenomenological methodology that has a focus on five white male participants who

ranged in age 35 to 55 years (Paul & Frieden, 2008). The premise for their research was

an interest in why some gay men embrace their sexual orientation and others do not.

These researchers recruited participants at a LGBT community center in the US south

(Paul & Frieden, 2008). The process was to learn about the lived experiences of the

changes regarding the influence of context, culture, and history these participants went

through as gay men. Five themes emerged that were important to the participants (Paul &

Frieden, 2008):

1. Crisis or Pain as Related to Development;

2. Importance of Relationship or Connection to Others;

3. Experience of a Dual Identity Related to Gay and Straight Worlds (or the

Old and New Selves);

4. A New Construction of Spirituality; and

5. The Journey to Acceptance as Worthwhile. (p. 36)

The researchers identified that each participant in this study managed to embrace their

sexual orientation and assimilate their gay identity into their whole being (Paul &

Frieden, 2008). The men in this research study admitted that their earlier religious beliefs

had changed due to their acceptance of their gay identity (Paul & Frieden 2008). This

change was due in part to the judgmental messages they received during their affiliation

with their previous Christian denominations (Paul & Frieden 2008). Several of the men

chose to make a distinction between religiosity and spirituality in order to maintain their

connection with God (Paul & Frieden 2008).

Some LGBT individuals choose not to divulge their sexual orientation due to the

concern that in some religious settings their church leadership, church peers, and family

members, might not be accepting of their sexual orientation. Knowing that there are

individuals within the religious setting that are accepting and consider themselves allies

can assist the Black LGBT individual with self-acceptance. These same allies may often

times face the same struggles with messages that condemn the LGBT population.

Christian LGBT Allies

Some Christian heterosexuals are in conflict with being an ally of the LGBT

community. Borgman conducted a qualitative study addressing LGB heterosexual

Christian allies’ resolution of conflicts and integration of their dual identities (2009). A

phenomenological approach was used in order to understand what it meant to the

participants on their quest to becoming a Christian ally to the LGB individual (Borgman,

2009). There were eight women and three men between the ages of 29 and 55 who were

PhD level counseling and clinical psychologists (Borgman, 2009). Borgman noted that

there were five core aspects of the results: “experience of conflict, analytic process of

resolving the conflict, characteristics of being, experiences influencing conflict and

resolution, and professional, expression of being a Christian LGB ally” ((2009, para 6, pp

511). Participants had varying questions and conflicts between being a Christian and an

ally of LGB individuals (Borgman, 2009). Borgman discussed how this led them to the

process of conflict resolution. There were three domains that were evident during the

process of resolving these conflicts: exploration and acceptance of self, their

Christianbased beliefs, and their sexual orientation beliefs (Borgman, 2009). He stated

that the contribution of this study was to suggest that, in the future, ally development

should make considerations of external factors and different worldviews. This study may

not be generalizable to people of different employment backgrounds, to those not in

conflict, and those who choose not to integrate these dual identities (Borgman, 2009).

Future direction would be to look at the differences among race, ethnicity, gender,

religious orientations, and geographic environments (Borgman, 2009).

Methodology

Creswell (2007) describes the various methodologies of research design in his

book. He discusses narrative, ethnography, grounded theory study, case study, and

phenomenology. Creswell (2007) and Moustakas (1994) state that phenomenology is

based on the lived experience of the individual.

Jeffries, Dodge, and Sandfort’s (2008) qualitative study of 28 Black bisexual men

was a grounded theory approach which is one of the theories that Creswell (2007)

discusses as an effective methodology for a qualitative study. This methodology afforded

the researchers a larger number of participants than necessary for a phenomenological

study. The questions that were asked were very similar to the questions that I will be

asking my research participants. The major difference between my research and this one

is the methodology, number of participants, and the population that will be researched.

My research will be extended to Black lesbian, gay, and transgendered individuals as well

as bisexual men and women.

Paul and Frieden (2008) conducted a qualitative phenomenological study that

consisted of five Caucasian gay male participants. This small number of participants

afforded the researchers the ability to do a more in depth interview. This particular

methodology is in line with the study that I am proposing to conduct. My research will be

conducted with Black gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered individuals. A small

number of participants are what is required for a phenomenological study based on

findings by Moustakas (1994) and Creswell (2007). This will afford me, as the

researcher, to develop themes based on the participants lived experiences.

Summary

Research concerning the Black LGBT’s experiences with homonegativity within

their religious setting and how it impacts their spiritual well-being is very sparse. There

has been some research; however, it is not inclusive of Black LGBT individuals. The

research that I am proposing will be inclusive of the Black male gay, lesbian, bisexual,

and transgendered individuals who have experienced homonegativity within their

religious setting.

Understanding the distinction between religiosity and spirituality will be an

important factor within this study. Definitions from several published peer reviewed

researchers are stated and the participants will be given the option of stating their

definitions of the two words. Discussing the impact of spirituality on a person’s

wellbeing is also an aspect of this proposal. How does an affirming or nonaffirming

religious experience impact a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered individual? Several

journal articles discuss how affirming (Lease, Horne, & Noffsinger-Frazier, 2005) and

nonaffirming (Schuck & Liddle, 2001) religious experiences can either help the LGBT

individual integrate their sexual orientation with their religious beliefs or not. When this

integration does not take place, then a result can be internalized homonegativity,

depression, suicidal ideation, or a host of other negative outcomes. Homonegativity has

the potential to keep the LGBT individuals from being authentic to themselves. Harris

(2005) reviewed three books that discussed how homonegativity within the Black church

has affected the Black LGBT individual’s self-esteem, religious connection, family

relationships, and their sexual identity. Jeffries, Dodge and Sandfort (2008) related how

some of the participants in their study continued to frequent churches that were

homophobic, though these participants did not reveal their sexual orientation to the

congregants. Some of the participants were able to continue in these situations due to how

they were able to compartmentalize their sexual orientation (Jeffries et al., 2008). The

participants who did divulge their sexual orientation identity sometimes were able to do

so with Christian LGB allies. Christian allies that were participants in a study that

Borgman (2009) conducted also had to develop a means of integrating their religious

identity with the sexual orientation of LGB individuals.

The major differences in the research studies that are in this proposal and my

proposed research are: (a) The participants will all be Black; and (b) I plan to have at

least one of each, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered individuals. Currently, there

is a dearth of research that is specific to Black LGBT individuals and their lived

experience with religion, spirituality, and homonegativity. Adding to the research is

important due to the implications of providing information that may be useful to

clinicians, therapists, the Black LGBT community, as well as family, and friends.

Chapter 3: Methodology

Introduction

The purpose of this qualitative phenomelogical research study was to understand

the lived experiences of Black LGBT individuals, specifically, their spiritual well-being

when they faced homonegativity within traditional organized religions, and the ways in

which they coped with these experiences. Pargament’s (1997) theory of religion and

coping guided this research study as well as feminist theory (Brown, 2010).

The focus of this chapter was on the research design, role of the researcher,

research questions, context, ethical protection of participants, selection of participants,

data collection, and data analysis.

Research Design

This research study used a phenomenological approach to explore in depth the

phenomena of the lived experience within a traditional organized religious setting of the

Black LGBT individual. According to Moustakas (1994), phenomenology has perception

as its basis, which is the primary source of knowledge. The term transcendental

phenomenology, defined as the scientific study of the phenomena of how people

consciously see things, is also used by Moustakas..

The narrative methodology is the closest to the phenomenology method

(Moustakas, 1994); however, using narrative methodology would have combined my

views with those of the participants in a collaborative narrative, which was not desirable.

Using case studies, ethnographies, or grounded theory research methodologies would not

have afforded the participants the same opportunities to describe their experiences in

depth as the phenomenological method. Case studies occur when the researcher delves

into the depths of a program, an event, and activity through detailed information

(Creswell, 2003). Ethnographies are the study of a cultural group in its natural setting

over a period of time (Creswell, 2003). Grounded theory is when the researcher conducts

a study that would derive a general abstract theory grounded in the viewpoints of the

participants. With phenomenological research, the participants had the opportunity to

describe their lived experience resulting in developing patterns and relationships of

meaning through the researcher’s coding of the information (Moustakas, 1994).

A qualitative approach is best used with a phenomenological method as it lends

itself to the exploration of the meaning of the participants lived experience (Wertz, 2005).

This afforded me the opportunity to have an in-depth interview with each participant so

that they were able to give as much detail of their experiences with homonegativity in a

religious setting as they felt comfortable to do. The use of qualitative research methods

assisted me in coding and developing themes from the interviews of the participants, as

suggested by Creswell (2003).

Role of the Researcher

My role as the researcher was to formulate open-ended questions that assisted in

understanding the phenomena of the Black LGBT individual’s lived experience within

the traditional organized religious setting. It was also imperative for me to collect the

participant’s meanings, keeping in mind how the information was used to create an

agenda for social change, as suggested by Creswell (2003). In addition, it was necessary

for me to explain the process of data collection and analysis, informed consent, how the

data was used, locating a comfortable and confidential location, and establishing a

contract as suggested by Moustakas (1994), in addition to recognizing and addressing any

bias that I had.

I took steps to address several self-reported biases that might have influenced my

research. Initially, when I began my literature review, I only searched for articles that

would prove there was a need for this research. However, after reading several articles

and realizing that my bias was only allowing me to look for articles that showed a need

for this research, I expanded my search for articles that were pertinent to this study from

all aspects. Another bias that I have is being sympathetic with the Black LGBT individual

when they have experienced homonegativity within a religious setting. In order to prevent

this bias from influencing my research, I periodically wrote self-reflections on how it was

shaping my research. I also had discussions with my dissertation committee chairperson.

I also used semistructured interview questions, member checking, and the

QSR NVivo 10 computer program for coding assisted with validity.

Research Questions

This study used a phenomenological research approach in order to explicate the

lived experience of Black LGBT individuals with respect to spirituality and how they

experience and cope with homonegativity within traditional organized religions. The

primary research question, which investigated the participants’ lived experiences with

respect to spirituality, was crafted to on research by Halkitis et al. (2009). “…In this study

we address three key research questions. First, in what public and private acts of devotion

do LGBT adults engage? Second, to what extent do LGBT adults distinguish between

religiosity and spirituality in quantitative measures of these constructs? Third, what are

the meanings that LGBT adults ascribe to the terms spirituality and religiosity (Halkitis et

al. 2009, p. 252). Heermann et al. (2007) stated that religion and spirituality have

different meanings; therefore, it was imperative to find out if the participants in this study

defined them the same or differently.

The second primary research question asked how Black LGBT individuals cope

when faced with homonegativity within traditional organized religions. The rationale for

this question was that some LGBT individuals have not reconciled their sexual

orientation with their religious beliefs (Love et al., 2005). Love et al. (2005) described

three distinct categories of reconciliation: undeveloped, unreconciled, and reconciled.

Primary Research Questions

1. What has been the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals with respect to

spirituality and/or religion?

2. How do Black LGBT individuals experience and cope when faced with

homonegativity within traditional organized religions?

This study also included a number of secondary questions intended to help answer

the primary research questions. The close-ended questions used pertained to demographic

information, age, sexual orientation, previous and current religious affiliation, education,

socio-economic status, and relationship status. In addition, there were open-ended

questions that were used to elicit additional information from the participants about their

lived experience of homonegativity within a religious setting (Creswell, 2003). The full

listing of interview questions can be found in Appendix A.

Context

Access to participants was gained through the snowball method. The first step for

the participant recruitment process began with contacting members of a Metropolitan

Community Church (MCC) congregation located in the Southeastern Region of the

United States. and by contacting an organization devoted to LGBT rights in the same

area. Flyers were distributed by me to the churches and organization via email with an

overview of the research study and included information on how to contact me. This

written communication stated that no monetary reward would be given for their

participation; that names and demographic information would be anonymized; and that

the sessions would be recorded with a portable audio recorder. These steps were taken in

accordance with Moustakas (1994), who outlined five key components to locating and

selecting study participants. These components were that participants should:

•have experienced the phenomena being studied,

•want to better understand the meaning of the phenomena,

•be willing to be involved in a lengthy interview with a possible follow-up,

•give permission to be audio taped or video taped, and

•agree to the data being published in a dissertation and possible other publications

(p. 107).

Ethical Protection of Participants

This research study did not begin until the Walden University’s Institutional

Review Board (IRB) granted me permission to do my research. The IRB number assigned

is 07-22-13-0110080. In addition, following the established ethical procedures ensured

participants were protected.

Creswell (2003) noted that there are numerous ethical issues to be considered, and

asked whether the problem being addressed is going to benefit the participants. Another

ethical issue that was addressed was to make sure that the participants understood the

purpose of the study in the same context as the researcher, which was satisfied through

the consent form and resulting discussion as suggested by Creswell, 2003). In data

collection, it is important to respect the participants and the location where the research is

being conducted (Creswell, 2003). The participants in this study had choices as to where

the interviews were being conducted: a LGBT center, a Metropolitan Community

Church, or a location of their choice other than their home. Protection of the

confidentiality of the participants in the data analysis and interpretation of the research is

important (Creswell, 2003). During the process of transcribing and analyzing data, it was

stored on my personal laptop, and I was the only person who had access. Each participant

was assigned a pseudonym, and I was the only one with access to identifying information,

which was stored in a separate location in my home office. Transcribed data was kept

secure on a flash drive stored in a safe deposit box in a bank. Data will be kept for a

period of at least 5 years, as required by Walden University. Once the required period is

completed I will destroy the flash drive, first erasing all the information and then

breaking the flash drive. In the writing and dissemination of the research, it is also an

ethical consideration to use language that is unbiased to the participant’s sexual

orientation, religion, gender, age, racial or ethnic group, or disability (Creswell, 2003:

Moustakas, 1994).

There are additional ethical standards that were required: informed consent that

was understandable to the participant, confidentiality, establishment of clear agreements

with participants, and development of procedures that established full disclosure, purpose

and requirements of the research (Moustakas, 1994). Based on these requirements I let

the participants know they could decline to participate at any time, or change their minds.

All the participants signed and received a copy of the informed consent. See Appendix B

for the Informed Consent Form.

Selection of Participants

Participants were chosen to participate based on their sexuality and race. Inclusion

criteria were: participants were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, as well as Black.

They had also experienced homonegativity within a traditional organized religious setting

determined by the initial survey and were at least 18 years of age. They were able to read,

speak, and understand English. See Screener Form Appendix C for inclusion criteria.

This qualitative phenomenological research study had 10 participants. The

rationale for this number was that the depth of the inquiry of the participants would not

allow me to interview any more than 10. Allowing the participants to delve into the

narrative of his/her life without constraints was the important factor of hearing the

experience. Once saturation had been achieved, the recruitment process ceased

(Moustakas, 1994). The information collected described the phenomena of how the Black

LGBT individuals had or had not been able to cope with homonegative messages they

had received from members of traditional organized religions.

Data Collection

The data collection process began by interviewing the participants who were

chosen to participate in this research study. The research study was approved by

Walden’s IRB, the data was collected via a digital, hand held audio recorder. I had

allocated a time frame of three months for data collection. That afforded me the

opportunity to meet with participants on several sessions, if necessary. In order to have

accommodations that would offer privacy and confidentiality, my chosen locations were a

LGBT center and a MCC church, or the participant’s preference of a location other than

their home (Moustakas, 1994). The options provided an opportunity for the participant to

choose a location where they felt the most comfortable.

Data Analysis

I used QSR NVivo 10 software to analyze the data that was collected from the

participants. Recurring themes were coded from the participant’s interviews through the

NVivo software program ensuring internal validity, and eliminating the need for a second

coder. The data was checked and rechecked for 100% accuracy by going over the audio

recording and comparing that with the transcribed data. In addition, there was member

checking by the participants in order for them to ensure that their information was correct

and for them to be able to make any necessary corrections. One participant requested to

make changes; however, the participant did not respond when I inquired about the

changes. In addition to the NVivo software, I used Moustakas’s (1994) modification of

the Van Kaam method of data analysis. Moustakas’s modification used the complete

transcription of each participant, which I transcribed. The first step was based on

horizonalization where relevant expressions were listed and grouped together. The next

step required the expressions to meet the two requirements of reduction and elimination,

which leads to knowing the invariant constituents (consistent/unchanging words or

phrases). This asked the questions of whether the participant had experienced the

phenomenon that was being researched, and could the expression of the phenomena

described be labeled. Next it was necessary to label and categorize the themes of the

described experience. The fourth step was the validation process. The steps to validating

my research began with checking the invariant constituents and themes that were

developed against the participant’s record. This determined whether: (a) they were

definitive matches; (b) they were not definitive matches but were comparable; or (c) if a

or b did not apply, then they were deleted from the research. The next step was

developing an Individual Textural Description for each participant based on his or her

invariant constituents and themes (Moustakas, 1994). Construction of a

TexturalStructural Description was completed for each participant based on their

invariant constituent and themes and the essence of their phenomena. The final step

consisted of developing a Composite Description incorporating all of the participants’

experiences.

Summary

This phenomenological research study was designed to gather pertinent

information from a segment of the population who had experienced homonegativity

within a traditional organized religious setting. There were several main questions and a

couple of subset questions that were designed to assist the participants in discussing their

experience. I used QSR NVivo 10 to analyze and store the data that I received from the

participants who had been selected though the snowball effect. My research was

conducted in the Southeast of the United States.

Chapter 4: Results

Introduction

The purpose of this chapter is to present the results of this phenomenological

study documenting the experiences of Black LGBT individuals who have experienced

negativity in a religious setting. It provides an overview on how the participants were

recruited; describes the data processing process and use of QSR NVivo 10 and emerging

data; details how the themes were generated; and presents the coding of the participant’s

interviews. It also includes a brief description of the participants and discussion of key

demographic details for the participants. It also discusses the research questions in light

of the themes that were generated.

This study used a feminist theory lens and analyzed the themes in a narrative form

in which the common themes were presented based on the participants’ experiences.

Through their answers to the sub-questions, the participants gave expression to and

communicated understanding of their lived experience of being Black LGBT individuals

who have experienced negativity in a religious setting. The experiences in the

participants’ own words relay their thoughts, feelings, and understanding of the

phenomena of religious homonegativity and the challenges that this presented to them.

The primary research questions that guided this project were:

1. What has been the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals with respect to

spirituality and/or religion?

2. How do Black LGBT individuals experience and cope when faced with

homonegativity within traditional organized religions?

Data Processing

Flyers (see Appendix D) were posted in various locations and announcements

were made in Metropolitan Community Churches in a Southern state. Participants who

met the criteria for the study (see Appendix C) and agreed to participate were provided

the date, time, and location established for their interview. Ten participants were

interviewed and coded as Participants A through J. Unfortunately, however, the audio

recording for Participant J was corrupted; as a result, that information was not input into

QSR NVivo for coding purposes, leading to a revised participant group of nine

participants. These participants were interviewed in various locations of their choice,

which included a Metropolitan Community Church (Participants A, B, D, E, G, H), the

pool area of their apartment complex (Participant C), outside a restaurant (Participant F),

in the common area of their apartment complex (Participant I), and in a friend’s

apartment (Participant J). Informed consent (see Appendix B) was discussed and signed

by participants and myself and demographic information was recorded (see Appendix E).

The interview questions were used in order to gather the lived experience of the

participants with negativity in a religious setting. I digitally recorded the interviews,

transcribed them into a Microsoft Word document, and imported the Word document into

QSR NVivo 10 on my personal secure laptop. All participants were emailed a secure

copy of their transcribed interview (see Appendix F) with explicit instructions to make

any and all necessary changes to the transcribed interview. One of the participants

requested changes be made to their interview transcription; however, I did not receive

their edits after requesting them, so I ultimately proceeded to code all of the interviews

using my own unaltered transcriptions.

NVivo 10 and Emerging Data

The process of generating themes and the coding of the participant interviews

were completed in stages. I was able to understand more of the participants’ experiences

through listening to the interviews while transcribing them. During the interviews, I did

not take notes; however, after the interviews I wrote down my feelings and observations

as a method to remind myself not to internalize the experiences of the participants, thus

facilitating objectivity. I read each transcribed interviews three times: once to compare to

the audio recordings, a second time when the coding began, and a third time to ensure

context and data accuracy.

In the NVivo software, themes are classified as nodes. The parent node is the

main node; whereas, the child node is the information that has been coded under the

parent node (theme). There were 8 Parent Nodes generated, four for each research

question. Several reports in the NVivo 10 software were generated based on the coding of

the transcribed interviews and the generating of nodes. The reports that were generated

were: Coding Summary by Source (see Appendix H), Coding Summary by Node, and

Node Summary, and Node Structure (see Appendix I). The Coding Summary by Source

report shows the nodes by participant, along with the statement that the node is based on.

A sample of this 43-page report is included in Appendix H. The Node Structure report

lists the Parent Node along with the Child Node statement.

Participant Profiles

The 10 people interviewed each identified as being Black, LGBT, and having

experienced negativity in a religious setting. The gender distribution of the participants,

after excluding one transgender participant whose recording was corrupted, consisted of

four women, four men, and one person who identified as transgendered. Participant A is

single, attended college in the South and continued to live in the area after graduation.

Participant B is single, was raised in the Baptist denomination and converted to Islam as

an adult due to his perception that Islam was more accepting of same sex relationships.

He later converted to a nondenominational religion when he realized that his perception

was incorrect. Participant C is partnered and was born and raised in the Northeast, and

moved south as an adult. Participant D is single, has lived in various parts of the United

States, and currently lives in the South. Participant E is single, identifies as spiritual, and

attends a non-denominational church. Participant F is partnered with children and was

born and raised in the South. Participant G is married, was born and raised in the

Northeast and moved to the South as an adult. Participant H is partnered, spent some time

in another country, and currently lives in the South. Participant I is single, raised in the

Midwest and she currently lives in the South. Participant demographics are summarized

in Table 1.

Each of the participants stated that they agreed to participate in this study after

finding out about it through posted flyers, church announcements, word of mouth, or

friends. The participants were raised in various Christian denominations even though all

did not attend church on a regular basis. Nine of the participants identified their religious

preferences as non-denominational Christian and one identified as Seventh Day

Adventist.

Table 1

Participants

Participant Gender Age Sexual

Orientation

Previous Religious

Affiliation

Current Religious

Affiliation

A Female 49 Bisexual Pentecost/Baptist Nondenominational

B Male 57 Gay Baptist/Islam Nondenominational

C Female 56 Lesbian Baptist Nondenominational

D Male 42 Gay Christian Christian

E Male 48 Gay Catholic Nondenominational

F Female 41 Lesbian Baptist Baptist

G Female 49 Lesbian Jehovah’s Witness Nondenominational

H Male 31 Gay African Methodist

Episcopal Zion

Nondenominational

I Transgendered

Female

48 Heterosexual Baptist Nondenominational

J Transgendered

Male

26 Heterosexual Baptist-

Holiness/Seventh Day

Adventist

Seventh Day

Adventist

Responses to Research Questions and Themes

This study explored the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals who

experienced negativity in a religious setting. The lived experiences of the participants in

this study were varied but similar, highlighting the negativity that they experienced

religiously by those in authority, whether it was a religious leader or parental figure. The

participants discussed their definitions of religion and spirituality, which they cited as

having assisted them in becoming more aware of their spirituality. The themes that were

highlighted were derived from the participants’ experiences. The interviews began with

two interview questions, which provided the context and understanding of the

participants’ views on religion and spirituality. The participants discussed their

definitions of religion and spirituality and how religious negativity impacted on them.

Religion

The participants all had different thoughts and beliefs on what religion was and

what it meant to them. Several of the definitions were consistent with the practice of a set

of doctrines (dogma), and other definitions were likened to personal beliefs. Due to the

impact that religion has had on the participants, all of their definitions are included as this

sets the tone of how their lived experiences contributed to their worldview.

“Religion is a faith. It's a comfort. It's a belief to make you succeed; to give you

strength through trials and things that you go through. That's religion” (Participant A).

“A personal relationship with God. The way one relates to God personally, on the

personal basis, their walk with God” (Participant B).

“My definition of religion is a place where I feel free to worship God, and it has

many different entities, but we only serve the same one God” (Participant C). How do I

define religion? How do I define religion? That's a good question. To me, religion is a, I

guess, a named denomination of practices that have a commonality to them,

Catholicism, Mormonism, Judaism. Where they have similar practices within that scope.

Christian with some variations, but that's a hard thing to define. I just think it's got a set

pattern of beliefs and responses, and I don't know how to say it. Just for example, in

Catholicism, in some aspects, the confession part of Catholicism, you know, going to

confession is a part of

Catholicism. Judaism we’ve got Hanukkah, the tradition of Hanukkah, so there is

a spiritual belief, but it also has set patterns and rules, but I don’t want to say rules

but… (Participant D).

And Participant E had a similar view of religion, “I define religion as a whole, as

a group of principals, practices, doctrine, created for large groups of people to follow and

for individuals to find balance and peace within.”

“Religion is first of all love and understanding, it seems to me. No agenda, no

color, and it is about the understanding of people of all walks of life” (Participant F).

“Religion is. . . I would define it as what my personal beliefs are, within my relationship

with God, and my own personal study, and walk and journey with the Bible” (Participant

G).

I define religion as first of all being personal. I have a personal relationship with

God. I think as I've been a member of MCC that thought has grown so now I feel

as though it’s the sense of community, and I have family here, but it's still based

on a relationship with God. But I do love the fact that I'm accepted here, for me

being me (Participant H), and

Religion is a basis of philosophy, it's how, in my opinion, for religion for me it's

how I was raised, the doctrine that I was raised by. Which with religion, it can be

confusing because there are a lot of different doctrines to say whose doctrine is

right, that is the conflict. Religion, because of the different doctrines and

interpretations. Interpretations have pushed a lot of people away from religion. It

was a big obstacle or element of my depression, my major depression, because of

me being transgender, some religious people doomed me to hell. That was a

major problem for me, so to define religion, it's an interpretation, but it's a faith

that you have within to avoid the different doctrines. I live the best life that I can

because I have a one-on-one religious relationship with God. I say my God

because, again, it's individual based (Participant I).

The participants’ definitions of religion were based on their experiences and how

they were able to come to an understanding of what religion meant to them on a personal

level.

Spirituality

Equally as important to this study as religion is spirituality and how the

participants define it. “Spirituality is within. It's something that is in side of you, to let

you know what's right, what's wrong, and which way to go, and which way not to go”

(Participant A).

“To me it's a closer connection with the divine. It's getting to know the higher

power in a very personal way” (Participant B).

Spirituality is inside. It’s personal. If my spirit doesn't feel something for instance,

if I'm in a room with some people and their spirit doesn't mix well with mine, I

know I need to step away from them. It’s how I feel internally, how my spirit

speaks to other people, how in meeting people I can tell right away that this

person is not for me. That’s how I define spirituality (Participant C).

To me, spirituality is a belief in the connectedness between people, but also in a

higher power that guides our lives. That there is a force in the universe that really,

I want to say controls everything, but there is something higher than us that helps

us to, helps us when we need it, but also wants us to move forward on our own in

some cases. I would say I'm much more spiritual than religious in a lot of ways

(Participant D).

Spirituality for me is an individual journey in harmony with the greater universe

and humanity. So spirituality, for me, puts me in balance with people, plants,

animals, God and allowing me to think of my higher purpose as life is unfolding

in front of me (Participant E).

Spirituality is freedom . . . free to be who you are without passing judgment,

acceptance of peace and grace. Spirituality is Love. When I stopped being

ashamed of myself as a lesbian, the freedom to love and accept others came freely

without bondage. Spirituality is Love (Participant F).

Spirituality that would definitely fall in line with my relationship with God. I feel

I'm very much a spiritual person, more so than a religious person because of that

relationship with God, and I know that I have his spirit around me always so that

that's my spirituality (Participant G).

I was, I considered myself spiritual for a long time. I grew up in religion. My

grandmother is a pastor of an AME Zion Church. My mother is a deacon. My

stepdad is a deacon. They're the ones that raised me. So I've been kind of forced

in the church my entire life, but I’ve always felt as though I didn't belong. So once

I got to college, I stopped going to church altogether because, in my mind, I was

not accepted there and it was just best for me to have a distant relationship with

God. So I was just spiritual. I knew that I loved God. I knew that God loved me,

but I knew the church didn't accept those facts, especially since my stepdad, he

was raised Roman Catholic. So those feelings were kind of ingrained in me so I

had my own personal relationship with God, but not in any type of sense as going

to a church or any church, I stopped (Participant H).

Spirituality, in my opinion, is something that is within. It is something that moves

you, and the spirit will convict you if you're doing wrong. It will also give you a

sense of appreciation when you do right. To me that's what spirituality is

(Participant I).

Six of the participants’ views of spirituality were heightened due to their negative

experience with religion; whereas, three participants did not equate their negative

experience with an increase/decrease in spirituality.

Primary Research question 1. What has been the lived experience of Black LGBT

individuals with respect to spirituality and/or religion? The resulting themes for

research question 1 were: change in faith community, experiencing familial acceptance or

discord/rejection due to sexual orientation, feelings of abandonment by God/religion, and

negative experience in a religious setting due to sexual orientation. Each theme with

examples is described below.

Change in faith community. All of the participants made a change in their faith

community due to their negative experience in a religious setting. Five of the participants

discussed their experience. “In the midst of it, the change, immediate change I made was

withdrawing myself from the church. What I did, although I had a one-on-one personal

relationship with God, I was not attending church” (Participant I).

I have gone from church to church, and I guess it depends upon the denomination

what not, I've always heard those kind of remarks, and I've changed my affiliation

to Islam also because I felt it was more like a brotherhood, and I thought that they

were more open to embrace people enough, and that's why I had to go from

denomination to denomination, and some of them were okay as far as accepting

me and some were not (Participant B).

I would say for the first 20 years of my life it was a very set thing. My mother

and father went to a Church of Christ. It was very rigid, very adamant. There

were things that just weren't done or talked about or . . . being gay was one of

them. And for the first 20 years of my life, I really tried hard to stick to that

aspect of religion. You know I still believe in Jesus Christ. I still believe in that.

But when I came out at 21, there was a real shift in that for me, and I would say

probably for about five to six years after coming out, there was no religion or

spirituality in my life at all (Participant D).

So at first, any kind of Jehovah's Witness I would kind of shun away from them,

but it was fairly quickly afterwards that I was like, you know what, it's not their

fault, they don't know any better. So what it did is it built my faith. It made it

even broader because, again, I knew that Jesus wasn’t that type of man, and it just

made me dig deeper into myself to say, well you know what God, maybe you sent

me there for a reason. Maybe I was there for a lesson to know that you are

mightier than that and I took that and here I am today. So it did, it actually made

it better for me (Participant G).

I shutdown completely. Before I came to St. John's, I hadn’t been to church since

I think it was 2001 or 2002. The only reason I came to church was because of my

partner trying to convince me to come to church, because . . . that was what, three

years ago, a little over three years ago. Even when we first started dating he told

me he was a member of a church that was accepting of gay people. I said, ‘Oh’,

that’s a lot. Okay. You’re not going to set me up. I'm not going back there

again. I’m not going to get that same set up (Participant H).

Some pastors are not able to respect the gender identity of a person if it doesn’t fit their

perspective. This is the experience of a transgendered individual when she inquired

about becoming a member of a church, and why she left that particular church. Church

related, absolutely. It was church related in that I was an individual that could have been

a candidate to become a member of that church. When that pastor started praying, and he

started disrespecting me announcing me as this brother, and pray for this brother. I did

everything in my power, in my control, to not lash out and be disrespectful to a so-called

man of God. So that was a major issue for me. Matter of fact, he called me back the next

day and left a voicemail to say he had further information on my inquiry to show me

something in the Bible that proved that I was sinning. I didn’t want to even answer

’cause I was done speaking to him at that point due to him disrespecting me in such a

manner (Participant I).

Experiencing familial acceptance or discord/rejection due to sexual

orientation. Three of the participants discussed specific interactions that they had with

family members concerning their sexual orientation that had an impact on them. One

participant had what she considered a very positive reaction from her family when she

told them she was a lesbian.

I went to my daughter and I said, ‘Sweetie, I’m going to start going to MCC more

regularly. It’s a church where I feel comfortable and I can praise God and not feel

looked upon negatively,’ and she was, ‘Okay ma, that’s where you want to go.’

My own sister, see, it became bigger for me with my own immediate family, my

oldest sister I came out to, she said welcome back because she knew I had been

with a woman before. She said I knew you weren't happy in that marriage. She

knew and I did. My second oldest sister said, I introduced my partner to them and

they love her. My brother who’s younger than me, but he’s my big brother, he’s

my big brother, said as long as she makes you happy I'm happy. So yeah, so it

was more important, the important piece of that was my family accepted me.

Which they all did (Participant C).

This participant discussed his experience when he told his parents that he was gay

and how they reacted.

My parents really weren't happy with me coming out, and they said a lot of things,

and tried a lot of things that were faith-based that really drove me away from

church, and drove me away from spirituality at all I think. It led to a lot of things

that I'm still dealing with today, but I don't know, it's been an interesting

experience. So for example, my father took me to a pastor at another church to

talk about God and what the Bible says about religion, about homosexuality, and

then he took me to a Christian counselor, you know, so everything that he did had

some tinge of a certain Christianity to it. And tried hard to get me to come back

to God, which is what he would say, and you know, live right, ‘not live in that

lifestyle’ are the words he used a lot of times. That was 20, 22 years ago, and we

still talk, but he hasn't spoken about my homosexuality in 20 years. So you know,

I still believe in God, and I still believe in Jesus, and I think that's hard for him to

reconcile. He doesn’t understand how I can believe in God and Jesus and yet be

gay. So-- (Participant D).

This participant recounted the last time she saw her mother alive.

Yes, the last time I saw my mother she had kicked me out of her life the last four

years . . . So I sat in the living room, and that was basically for just guests, so

when they got my mother dressed and I went in and I saw my mother, and it was

a big blur and that was December 12, 2010. One week later, as I was pulling in to

work on December 19, my mother passed. My brother sent me a text message

saying that she's now deceased. Our meeting that we had on the 12th was a big

blur, my mother continued to cry. People after would ask, well did you come to

peace? I really didn’t at that time. I couldn't understand why she was crying. I

just knew everything was a blur. I didn't know if she was crying because she had

kicked me out of her life. I don’t know if she was crying because of my gender. I

don't know why. I had a lot of harsh feelings towards my mother (Participant I).

Negative experiences due to a person’s sexual orientation can occur in any setting,

not just religious settings (Harris, 2008; Ward, 2005). Kubicek et al. (2009) suggested

that non-affirming (negative) experiences, whether in a church setting or not, had the

potential to have a negative effect on gay young men. A participant discussed how her

mother “put” her out of the house due to gender identity, “She had old Southern

understanding and she is a product of her environment. I loved her, but she doomed me

to hell because of my gender” (Participant I). Another participant discussed how her/his

parents tried a number of things that were faith-based in order to “fix” her/his sexual

orientation (Participant D).

Feelings of abandonment by God/religion. Three of the participants relayed

feelings of being abandoned by God, family, and friends because of their sexual

orientation.

I just felt like, I felt like God had abandoned me. I felt like He didn't love me, and

I couldn't help who I was, and I spent many years praying not to be gay. And I

just thought well if I'm praying not to be gay, but I am gay then that means that

God isn’t answering my prayers so he doesn't really exist, and doesn’t care

(Participant D).

There was no in between. God didn't love me because I like women. God hated

me. God's going to send me to the burning fire of hell because I love women, and

what I learned in coming into MCC is that God loves us all (Participant C).

Another religious obstacle that I had, my mother. Again, she was born in 1923 in

Georgia. She had old Southern understanding and she is a product of her

environment. I loved her, but she doomed me to hell because of my gender. I

shared shortly in 2002 I was actually suicidal, and I was in the hospital and my

mother called me and I ended up sharing information, and when I got out of the

hospital, she said you know you're going to hell, you’re an abomination to hell

(Participant I).

I was very close with maybe five of the other female Jehovah's Witnesses. And

you know, we go door-to-door as a Jehovah’s witnesses. I wasn't allowed to do

any of that. You basically had . . . they still wanted you to come to the Kingdom

Hall, but you would have to sit in the back of the Kingdom Hall. Like I said, only

the men could talk to you, and only the men; basically, the headmen could talk to

you, how’ya doing and how are things going and things of that nature. But we

couldn't associate. I couldn't eat with any of them, if they saw me coming they

would have to go the other way. And again, it did, it made me feel disappointed

and hurt and my reaction was I think I stayed maybe two Sundays after that

because we would go Thursdays and Sundays. So I think I stayed maybe two

more Thursdays and Sundays, and I said this is not something that God would

approve of, and knowing the Bible like I know, I knew Jesus would never have

treated anyone like that, so I left never to return (Participant G).

Negative experience in a religious setting due to sexual orientation. Each

participant had their own unique experience of being a Black LGBT individual and

experiencing negativity in a religious setting. Most notable was how some pastors and/or

congregants would preach against homosexuality or speak negatively about them, “I have

noticed some pastors who tend to do that because they kind of look down on the

homosexuals and they always preach against them” (Participant B). “You know it’s not

God like, you know you're going to hell, you better get your mind right, don't let the devil

lead you to a reprobated mind, you’re going straight to hell, you know the word”

(Participant C). And,

Eventually my parents, my mother, said she couldn't keep it to herself, she had to talk

to someone, and she talked to a neighbor of ours who I had known for years and who

I still talk to. But she would see me in church and she used to be very inquisitive

about my life, and how are you doing and what's going on, and she just kind of said

hello and kept on walking. Or people would blatantly come up to me and go, ‘Well

you know you need to, you’re hurting your parents, you need to be right with God,’

and so I haven't been back to that church in 15, 17 years so… (Participant D). So it

was clear to me even as a kid, without any understanding of how I would grow and

develop as a child of God to be gay and loving, it was clear to me from the earliest

understandings within the Catholic Church that was not okay. To have love options

was not okay in the Catholic Church (Participant E).

To some extent each participant had either a strong religious background or a deeper

longing to be connected to a religious setting.

I was invited to a local church here in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I began going

to this church and I loved it. They accepted me. I even got on the hospitality

team with this church. It was then about 2006, 2007, it was then when I learned

and I accepted Christ back into my life. That church did that for me. And

because I felt so good about what was happening with me internally, I wanted to

make sure I kept what was happening on the outside of me externally going. So I

approached the church board with a question of membership. It was then when

an interview was set up and questions were asked, demographic questions about

my age, those sorts of things, and when it came up to my sexual orientation, I

chose the route of telling the truth. And I did that, and when I told the truth I was

immediately escorted out of the church. I was told that, I was told that I was no

good and that there is no place for people like me in this world. And this was a

church that, that I had given nearly two and a half to three years of service

because they loved me, and I loved that church even more because I learned how

to accept God back into my life. I learned how that I was okay being a gay

woman and loving Jesus was still okay. But when I took that next step that I

wanted to be a member of this church my sexuality became an issue (Participant

F). I loved growing up in church. I loved church. I was always singing. I had my

cousin by my side, and we would sing together and have duets as small children.

And then being an Army brat, we moved around a lot so our family kind of got

away from church. Once we got back into church though, I felt this negativity

towards me because I became outspoken about my sexuality. And I was going to

fight for my beliefs so I was kind of pushed aside. The next time, I don't know if

this is going to be one of your next questions. My mom finally came and invited

me to go back to church. She said it was a special Sunday, and I want you to

come and join us for church. So I got dressed up and drove all the way down to

Fayetteville to go to church, and it turned out the entire sermon was all about

homosexuality and how you’re going to burn in hell. So it was catered towards

me. Everyone else there was straight. So it was catered towards me and that’s

why she wanted me to go. It’s a special Sunday, special Sunday (Participant H).

Prior to coming to MCC I was in the closet, because the churches that I come out

of, Zion Baptist, Church of God in Christ and City of Joy, all demean and it was

hell or heaven. There was no in between. God didn't love me because I like

women. God hated me God's going to send me to the burning fire of hell because

I love women, and what I learned in coming into MCC is that God loves us all.

We are all created equally and I also learned to understand the Scriptures a little

more clearly. The one that stands out for me is the greatest gift is love, so that's

my experience (Participant C).

For the most part prior to St. John's, I would actually have to say negative. In the

Jehovah's Witness religion it was totally against homosexuality. It was totally against

women, in general, in nature, in regards to a lot of religious aspects. Prior to that, to me

growing up as a Baptist even going to church in the end, and I'm talking about when I

was older as an adult once the pastors and certain people in the congregation knew of my

sexuality as being a lesbian a lot of people would treat me differently. You can feel and

see the negativity (Participant G). Most of the participants had negative experiences

within a church or by people of authority within the church. A number of the participants

were told by a pastor or assistant pastor of the church they were attending that their

sexual orientation was a sin. My reaction was not to answer that phone call when he

called me back the next day. My reaction was to sever all ties and not to go back to

Calvary Church again

based off of the interaction that I had with the associate pastor. It was very painful

because again I know how I feel about God. I know that I'm a good person. I

know that I live to do for some other people, for other people. That's my motto: to

do something for somebody every day (Participant I).

I was raised in New England, Roman Catholic, so up north. There was a lot of

hierarchy, structure. I was raised in Catholic school so it was uniforms and nuns.

It was rigid, judgmental, harsh, and non-inclusive. So growing up in that Catholic

Church, and then understanding that God, who created the universe, intended for

me to be Black and gay and dynamic and different, it was not comfortable or in

harmony with that rigid judgmental . . . what I heard being raised in the Catholic

Church (Participant E).

The negativity that the participants experienced ranged from their parents to their

religious leaders. The participant who was raised in a Catholic setting had experienced

negativity not just due to his sexual orientation, but also as the way in which he

understood Catholicism to be rigid and unyielding. These experiences had a very strong

impact on how they viewed their faith community. Primary Research question 2. How

do Black LGBT individuals experience and cope when faced with homonegativity

within traditional organized religions? The resulting themes for research question 2

were: emotional reactions, maladaptive coping, adaptive coping, and religious and/or

spiritual reconciliation.

The participants discussed a variety of coping styles they used and emotional

reactions they experienced. They related that some were effective, and some were not

positive for them, including addictions, and one stated she went wild sleeping with men

and women.

Emotional Reactions. This participant was able to rely on their religious

upbringing to give them solace during the religious negativity they experienced as an

adult. “The deep religious roots that were instilled in me as a child helped me cope with

the religious issues that I was facing” (Participant I).

Joy. When asked directly about how she coped with the negativity in a church

setting this participant said, “Gladly. I coped with joy because, you know, in church,

especially in these straight up churches, they always speaking about heaven and

everybody wants to go to heaven” (Participant A).

Shutting down. “But I shut down after that last experience for a long time”

(Participant H).

Yes, well I'll kind of take you through. It's a complicated thing. I think when I

abandoned the spirituality, when I abandoned the religion that there was because I

enjoyed going to church. I was one of those kids I loved going to church. I loved

biblical movies. I loved all of that stuff. But I went looking for something to fill

that space, and fortunately for me it wasn't, it wasn’t unsafe sex. It was trying to

connect with people. You know I tried to find people, you know, in some of those

cases when I was growing up there were bars that you went to. We didn't have the

online stuff that we do now, so I would go to bars and meet people. So part of that

being in that environment was drinking. And thinking that that was kind of

fulfilling the spiritual piece that I was looking for in a lot of ways. But over time,

it didn't work anymore. It did not solve the problem that I thought it was going to

do. (Participant D).

Anger. Two of the participants discussed being angry with God or a family

member due to their treatment by others:

I was angry at God mainly because I felt that here I am, a person who’s trying to

live right, and I accepted Christ back in my life and it felt good, and now you're

telling me that I'm not accepted. Even though I knew another man told me that I

wasn’t accepted. I felt like he was led by God to tell me that I wasn't accepted and

that's what I believed in at the time. So I shut down. I shut down a lot for months

(Participant F).

Another participant was angry with his mother because he felt she had gotten him to

come to church under false pretense. “After I left church that Sunday, I was mad. I was

very mad because she set me up, and she knew what she was doing, so I actually didn't

talk to her for a full month (Participant H).

Being angry because you’re not accepted for who you are or not feeling accepted

by family, friends, or God can be devastating. These two participants felt rejected one by

God and the other by his mother, which caused them both to withdraw. One participant

sunk into a major depression, partially due to religious and her mother’s negativity

towards her being transgendered.

Depression. It was hurtful, and my reaction . . . I was in . . . I started my

depression in 2002, deep depression. Recognizing it, so this was in 2006, and I

didn't come out of my depression until 2012, so it was midway, so I painted a

timeline so it was midway. So I was so sunk in my depression and one of my

leading factors in my depression was the religious aspect so that was very hurtful.

Some family members thought that I was going to go back into depression

because I felt that I was going to carry this to my grave that my mother and I

could never get along (Participant I).

Religious and parental negativity due to this participant’s gender identity led her

into depression that lasted for about 10 years. This participant was the only one in this

study that related depression as an outcome of the negativity she experienced.

The participants in this study chose a variety of methods as coping mechanisms.

All were not positive. Their descriptions of what they did and how they managed are

indicators of what their experience of coping meant to them at the time.

Maladaptive coping.

Addictions. Three of the participants turned to alcohol or drugs in their attempt to

cope with the negativity they were experiencing.

It was uncomfortable to the point that I think when I finally got to college I was

wild. I turned really, really wild. I started drinking, and I think the reason that I

was drinking was that I couldn't go to church and worship ’cause I was raised to

go to church and worship. I didn't know about St. John's when I was here. I didn't

know about MCC. I felt like I was the only one, and I did feel like I was not

normal but yet, and still I got the Holy Spirit inside of me and I still feel like I'm

not normal (Participant A).

This participant described how he turned to drinking in order to cope with

negativity in a religious setting due to his sexual orientation.

I think that was a big coping mechanism for me for about 10 years. I was really

drinking, going out, and I just realized about nine years ago that I just couldn't do

it anymore. It wasn't doing what I thought it was going to do, and I recognized

that I had a severe addiction, and I came into the program of AA. Again that

really, I think that saved my life. It really saved my life. I would honestly say I

didn't really cope, I just filled it with something else that was not healthy. You

know what I mean (Participant D)?

Another participants also turned to drugs and alcohol, “Yes, yes, yes. My sexual

orientation has a lot to do with me being in recovery (Participant E).

Promiscuity I went to drinking, and I was having sex with every body. I was

definitely having sex with men because I was like, even when you get a funny

feeling and it wasn't right, you still don’t want to accept that's who you are

because society puts you down, and you know that you’re different. You know

that you’re different, and you don't want to let that cat out because back then . . .

I'm 49, when I was 20 something years old, twenty something years ago, they

were beating up gays on the street. If you went to a gay club and you went out,

you were taking a chance of coming out that gay club because people were

waiting just to beat you up as if they were Klu Klux Klan, waiting for a Black

person to walk down the street. You know, to feel macho, like you've done

something so nobody wanted to be gay back then, nobody wanted to let people

know what they were. What was inside of them that they like the same sex?

What’s wrong with you girl? Something's wrong with you, and then here we go.

They want to send you to church, to the pastor, and the pastor wants to put his

hands on you and pray for you, and you've got such a demon inside you, you

know. But the demon don't never come out. Maybe for a couple hours you feel

like the demon is gone, and everything, but then all of a sudden, when you walk

down the street you're looking at the same sex again (laughter), you know, so it's

pastors just shouldn't be preaching about that, they should just be preaching about

the positive things. You know what? God looks at all of us the same. It says in

His own image. I figure if we all believe that he died and rose up on the third day,

hey, we’re in his arms. We’re in his midst, you know, and that's even what addicts

and anybody homeless. People . . . it’s all the same. Nobody’s better than

nobody, so I really don't believe in pastors doing that. I won’t go to a church that

does that (Participant A).

The participants in this study came to the realization that the coping mechanisms

they chose were more negative than what they were experiencing in their Christian

religious setting.

Adaptive Coping

Recovery. Three of the participants discussed being in recovery or being clean.

“No, well yes, because when I came to know myself, and I had been in a lesbian

relationship in my active addiction days. I've been clean 20 years now, July 5 was my

anniversary…” (Participant C).

I just realized about nine years ago that I just couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't

doing what I thought it was going to do, and I recognized that I had a severe

addiction, and I came into the program of AA. Again, that . . . Really, I think that

saved my life. It really saved my life. I would honestly say I didn't really cope. I

just filled it with something else that was not healthy. You know what I mean

(Participant D)?

I'll mention recovery a third time because it's allowed me to find spirituality. It's

allowed me to find a path to a great God of my understanding, and for those folks

who are Black and gay, and who are told that they are bad or not good or

unwelcome by a religion. That's harsh, and it’s real, and it's overwhelmingly

prevalent here. And I've lived in the Northeast, the Midwest, and the West Coast

(Participant E).

The participants who discussed being in recovery from an addiction were open

about how their sexual orientation and religious negativity led to their addiction. They

also discussed how being in recovery allowed them to become more aware of the

importance of having a spiritual connection, thus helping them to become connected to

God.

Self-Acceptance. Four of the participants discussed being able to counter internal

homonegativity due to societal, religious, and family discord due to their sexual

orientations. “After years . . . I’m 49 now. I'm starting to actually now, I'm starting to

accept who I am because there’s this homosexual era gone” (Participant A).

I would just have to laugh it off, and I’d have to go somewhere and pray and say

Father forgive them for they know not what they do, and I would say no matter

what, I’m just the same person before you know me, even after they think they

know me, I'm still the same person, and I don’t see why their feelings should

change. I’m still me. I’ve also had the other side of me that I couldn’t quite

understand about being homosexual, and it seems like it was a conflict one time

when I had to learn how to bring it all together, but like I said, in this church right

now, I can bring it all together. I can serve God and have a position in the church,

and I do feel comfortable because there are others like me. I thought [I was] all by

myself at one time, but I feel that God is giving me an answer now, and I see a

future now for me. A good future (Participant B).

Let me tell you something, ’cause I'm just bold in God. See, I know that God

loves me. I don't care what nobody says. First of all, nobody has a heaven or hell

to put me in, and all men are sinners, so if I’m sinning in hell, I’m going to lift up

my eyes and I must going to be okay because I'm free to live. I’m free to be me.

Yes, I belong to God, me and my partner both. When I took her home in 2011, I

walked tall, held her hand, introduced her, she said to over 200 people. I know

everybody in the town, yes, and I stand firm. I'm a proud lesbian. I'm proud. I’m

out of the closet. I’m no longer in bondage. You know what I mean? Not only am

I set free from drugs, but I’ve been set free from my sexuality. I know who I am.

I’m okay with being a lesbian, and I’m not a lesbian that’s out trying to get every

girl she sees. I have a partner, and a partner only, that’s it (Participant C).

I feel that that experience was meant for me at that time, because even though I

accepted Christ back into my life at that church, and I'm grateful for that, it was

time, it was for, it was my journey, and God gave me that journey to grow and

make me a better person, that I am today (Participant F).

When the participants developed self-acceptance, they were able to become more

aware of their journey and more comfortable with who they are. The participants were

able to discuss what they viewed as coping mechanisms even though some were addictive

behaviors or depression. Based on the participants’ experiences, they were able to move

forward in what they considered positive changes in light of the negativity they had lived

through. Self-acceptance and recovery appeared to be the catalyst for the participants

moving towards spiritual well-being.

Religious and/or Spiritual Reconciliation. Three of the participants found

solace in attending non-denominational MCC churches, while two participants didn’t

want to attend a church where the congregation was primarily LGBT.

Now with me being at MCC it makes me feel better, because I can wear what I

want to wear. I can talk to people the way I want to talk to. I’m around other

people that are going through the same thing that I'm going through, and that

think the same way. You know, it makes me feel comfortable for me to come to

this church, but at another church, I don't think I would go back to another kind of

church tell you the honest truth (Participant A).

Yes, and I didn't want that, and of course, here at MCC it's totally different, totally

different. So when people say, “Oh, so do you go to a gay church?” No they’re

straight people at my church, gay lesbian, bisexual, transgender. We’re all here

and we can all participate and do what God has called us to do, no matter what,

and that's what I love (Participant G).

And the spirit was so high I was like, uum, I may consider where I’m going. So I

fasted for three days and I asked God to lead me. You know I’m dating this

woman that’s going to MCC, and the Bible says that we should be in the same

house if we’re going to be together ’cause then the two shall become one, so we

need to be under the same teaching. And so I fasted for three days, and then I said

okay God, where do you want me to go, and God said follow your heart and I

heard him in my inner ear. He said, ‘Follow your heart.’ So I went to my daughter

and I said, ‘Sweetie, I’m going to start going to MCC more regularly. It’s a

church where I feel comfortable and I can praise God and not feel looked upon

negatively,’ and she was, ‘Okay ma, that’s where you want to go” (Participant C).

“The Catholic experience was very negative and uncomfortable as far as my

orientation. The church that I'm in now it's okay and comfortable, and I have not sought

to be part of a church that is primarily serving GLBT” (Participant E).

Two of the participants have chosen not to attend church on a regular basis,

leaning more towards their idea of being spiritual.

I would say yes, when I moved to DC that was the first time I had ever gone to a

gay friendly church. I didn't even know they existed. It was a MCC church, and I

can't remember where it was in DC, but part of being in AA was going to these

meetings in different places, and one of them was in this church in DC. I thought,

I remember walking in thinking that this is a gay friendly church. I don't

understand that because I still had this belief of what the Bible had been taught to

me from all my life. So I think the biggest thing was just searching out places that

I felt supported me. I read a lot. I continue to read a lot more. I began having

really deep discussions with the people about their faith and what they believed. I

just started seeking out more information and seeking out people that could help

me with that information (Participant D).

So as I grew in my faith, you know, now I understand again that, you know, that

God loves me unconditionally, unconditionally. And again during that time, I

stayed away from the church, but I did have a relationship with God on an

individual basis, and again, when the pastor from Metropolitan Baptist Church

came to console my brother and I with the passing of my mother, he kind of

opened my eyes a little bit when he said well, a lot. I can't even say a little bit, but

he opened my eyes by saying I don't believe that you're going to go to hell

because of your gender. If you believe in Jesus, Jesus died for you, that you're

okay, and then that coupled with the reading of Joel Osteen’s book, coupled with

other events when I met the pastor from the Wake Forest Baptist church, these

positives kind of brought me back into the church. So now I visit a few churches,

there’s a few churches that I visit now. Now, I had another encounter. I was over

at Barnhills bookstore back in March doing a book signing. A 90-year-old

Methodist pastor, a former Methodist pastor, came to the book signing and I

judged, okay? When I saw this gentleman, I’m like, and he told me that he was a

Caucasian former Methodist pastor who is 90 years old. I said, ‘Oh gosh, he's

going to read me the riot act.’ I was totally wrong. What he told me, he said,

‘First of all, I want to tell you it is a sin for you not to be who you are. Gender is

not a choice, so I accept you and I applaud you for being who you are,’ and that

was just something that just totally, you know (Participant I).

After years of facing religious negativity, some of the participants were able to

find a place of worship where they felt comfortable and welcomed. Having clergy who

were welcoming and accepting of who they were was extremely important to the

participants. Even though some of them have decided not to attend a church at this point,

they have chosen to read, study, and have conversations around religion and same sex

relationships.

Three of the participants discussed decisions that they made in how they chose to

move forward in participating in a religious setting.

So I think the biggest thing was just searching out places that I felt supported.

Me, I read a lot. I continue to read a lot more. I begin having really deep

discussions with the people about their faith and what they believed. I just started

seeking out more information and seeking out people that could help me with that

information. I was blessed to have people who did that, and I was getting sober at

the time, so I think I was clearheaded enough to accept that information. Now, I

will say, there are sometimes I still struggle. There are times I still struggle with

does God really love me? Does He really care about me? Is who I am okay, but

most of the time I'm pretty happy (Participant D).

But I, so my response was just to not go through it to no longer, be Catholic and

to start searching, my response was just to search for some other faith

communities, and recovery has allowed me to not have resentments towards that

experience. Today I get to be okay with people and religions and institutions

where they are, and if it doesn't work for me, but I don't have to judge it as right

or wrong. I can let it work for somebody, but it didn't work for me (Participant E).

Oh yes, actually we made, I made tons of changes. Now, going forward in my

life, in everything that I do, it's important that the churches and the schools know

that myself and my children are from a same sex family and there should not be

any discrimination. I request meetings all the time to make sure that we are

treated fairly. I don't want anything on a silver platter, but I want equal

opportunity as the next person does. And then also, by doing this, I feel like I am

teaching my children that you do not settle for the first no in your life. Just

because someone said no to you, don't stop going to church or don't stop doing

something that you love. It was then that I realized the hurt and the pain that I

received from them telling me no that I couldn't be a member of the church, is

when I realized how much I love Jesus because it hurt so much for me

(participant crying). For somebody to tell me that I couldn't be a member, for me,

I equate it to me not being in that church was saying like I don't love God, and I

knew that that was a lie because I knew I loved my God and the Lord that I serve,

so it hurt. I couldn't understand why would you do that, so today in my life, I sing

twice a day, every morning and every night. I sing a song just between me and my

God because I let him know how much I love him every day. And I appreciate

every struggle and every happiness that He places in my life (Participant F).

The participants who became assertive with their religious needs were able to find

a place of worship that they were comfortable in, and welcomed without any pretense

from the congregation or the clergy.

Summary

The results of the study revealed the phenomenology of Black LGBT individuals

who have experienced negativity in a religious setting. The nine participants of this study

had their worldview changed due to their lived experience of negativity in a religious

setting. Based on their definitions of religion they related that religion is primarily a set of

rules and regulations that are adhered to by the followers of a particular denomination.

When it pertained to spirituality, their definitions where more of a personal relationship

that they developed with an entity that was unseen, yet present in nature. The resulting

themes were change in faith community, experiencing familial acceptance or

discord/rejection due to sexual orientation, feelings of abandonment by God/religion,

negative experience in a religious setting due to sexual orientation, emotional reactions,

maladaptive coping, adaptive coping, and religious and/or spiritual reconciliation.

Chapter 5: Discussion, Conclusions, and Recommendations

Introduction

This study addressed a research gap concerning Black LGBT individuals who

have experienced negativity in a religious setting. The purpose of this phenomelogical

research study was to understand the lived experiences of Black LGBT individuals’

spiritual well-being in the face of homonegativity and the ways in which they cope with

these experiences. The results highlighted the experiences of nine Black LGBT

individuals who sought to reconcile their negative experiences and sexual orientation

with their religious beliefs. Black churches have been strong advocates of social justice,

but sometimes ostracize Black LGBT Christians (Maher, 2006). The participants’

description of their lived experience with negativity in a religious setting and how they

coped was detailed, emotional, and expressive, with each one being similar yet different.

There were eight themes that were generated from the participant’s interviews. These

eight themes were change in faith community, experiencing familial acceptance or

discord/rejection due to sexual orientation, feelings of abandonment by God/religion, and

negative experience in a religious setting due to sexual orientation, emotional reactions,

maladaptive coping, adaptive coping, and religious and/or spiritual reconciliation.

Interpretation of the Findings

This study added to the understanding of the Black LGBT individual’s experience

of negativity in a religious setting. This was accomplished through the rich descriptions

of the participants in this study. The primary research questions that guided this project

were:

1. What has been the lived experience of Black LGBT individuals with respect to

spirituality and/or religion?

2. How do Black LGBT individuals experience and cope when faced with

homonegativity within traditional organized religions?

The results of this research study is religious homonegativity can have a detrimental

impact on the spiritual well-being of the Black LGBT individual. All the participants in

this study expressed how the religious negativity had impacted their lives, which resulted

in them having addictions, feelings of abandonment by God and/or family, promiscuity,

depression, and changes in their faith community. These results were supported by

existing literature, substantiated, and discussed in this research. Pargament (1997)

discussed how religion could help with coping mechanisms in a positive manner keeping

in mind that a strong religious faith does not always protect one psychologically from

negativity. All of the participants found religious acceptance after their negative

experience, although this process took up to 20 years for some of them.

All of the participants in this study were Black and reported having experienced

negativity in a religious setting due to their sexual orientation. Several of the participants

discussed how they were treated differently after their sexual orientation had been

revealed. In addition to negativity in religious settings, four of the participants discussed

how their parents reacted negatively to their sexual orientation. One participant in

particular related that, despite more than two decades of being “out,” he still couldn’t

discuss his sexual orientation with his parents or introduce his partner to them.

All of the participants in this study discussed having Bible verses told to them that

they felt were being used against them because of their sexual orientation. This aligns

with Schuck and Liddle’s (2001) findings on the religious conflicts experienced by

lesbian, gay, and bisexual (transgendered excluded) individuals, in which participants

discussed passages in the Bible that condemn homosexuality, passages that condemn

premarital sex, and religious teachings against homosexuality (Schuck & Liddle, 2001).

Religion has been an important aspect of humankind throughout the ages (Ward,

2005). Several researches have noted the importance of religion as a method of coping

with day-to-day stresses (Hill & Pargament, 2003; Lease et al., 2005). It was important

for the participants in this study to differentiate religion and spirituality (Paul & Frieden,

2005). A common definition of religion describes a set of rules, or dogma, of a prescribed

doctrine that is adhered to by one or more individuals. Most of the participants made a

strong distinction between religion and spirituality. For the most part, they agreed that

religion included a strong set of rules and regulations that people adhered to in order to be

a member of that particular denomination.

Black churches, regardless of her dogma, has long held a very important and

influential role in the lives of Black individuals and families (Ward, 2005). The Church

has been the empowerment of Black people through cultural and social forms of

expression for over 250 years (Ward, 2005). When it pertains to matters of sexuality,

however, and especially concerning same sex relationships, Black churches have not been

in the forefront of having open and welcoming conversations. Ward (2005) described the

strong influence that Black churches have on Black individuals, even if they no longer

attended church. The participants in this study were all strongly influenced by Black

churches, even if it was due to a negative experience. A few of them stopped attending

church after they had been confronted with negativity due to their sexual orientation. The

participants discussed how this negativity was based on an interpretation of some Bible

verses and how homosexuality was viewed. All of the participants also, at the time of the

study, attended different churches than they attended as children. These findings are

consistent with Heermann et al.’s (2007) findings on segregation and discrimination that

Black LGBT individuals can face from organized religious institutions. Lease et al.

(2005) suggested that not all LGB individuals have nonaffirming faith experiences. The

study results of Lease et al. did not align with the results of my study in that all 10 of the

participants who were interviewed had non-affirming faith experiences.

Kubicek et al. (2009) conducted a study of religion and spirituality of gay young

men. The results of this study indicated that a large number of the participants described

having internalized homonegativity, where they devalued themselves, experienced

internal conflicts, and felt self-hatred (Kubicek et al. 2009). Several of the participants in

my study described having feelings of being different, yet they were not described as

internal homonegativity. The participants in my study differentiated from the literature in

that they were all Black and included lesbian, gay men, bisexual, and transgendered.

Interestingly, even though they related to having negative experiences in a religious

setting, all nine of the participants described still being involved in a religious practice,

but having developed more of a spiritual connection with God then they had previously.

Heermann, Wiggins, and Rutter (2007) suggested that having a strong spirituality

that is well grounded could have a strong impact on a person’s well-being. The

participants in my study developed a strong spirituality that assisted them in overcoming

the religious negativity they had experienced. All of the participants gave a definition of

spirituality that was based on their personal experience. Spirituality is part of a religious

experience that is subjective and personal to an individual (Hill and Pargament, 2005).

Spirituality as defined by the majority of the participants in this study used key words

such as individual journey, relationship with God, higher power, or something that is

within. This was an indication that their concept of spirituality was more personal than

their concept of religion. Paul and Frieden (2008) conducted a study where they discussed

why some men embrace their sexual orientation while others do not. Several of the men

choose to make a distinction between religiosity and spirituality in order to maintain their

connection with God (Paul & Frieden, 2008). The participants in this study chose to make

that distinction as well, in order to maintain their spiritual perspective in a relationship

with God, which helped them to develop and maintain a strong spiritual wellbeing.

The participants have had a wide variety of experiences as Black LGBT

individuals with spirituality and/or religion. Some of the experiences have helped them to

grow into their spirituality. Having negative experiences surrounding their sexual

orientation can be detrimental to a LGBT individual, which can cause internalized

homonegativity, depression, and have other detrimental effects (Kubicek et al. 2009).

Hill and Pargament (2003) related there is a strong indication that there is a link

between religion/spirituality and health. Suggested by attachment theory, having a strong

connection with God can offer comfort in stressful situations (Hill & Pargament 2003).

The religious/spiritual individual may seek to have a strong connection with God as a

way to cope with negativity in a religious setting. The participants in my study indicated

the importance that being involved in a religious setting had been to them prior to their

sexual orientation being known. Through the discussion of their experiences they detailed

how the religious negativity impacted their well-being or lack of leading to feelings of

abandonment, maladaptive coping, and emotional turmoil that was stressful and resulted

in a disconnection with God.

The impacts that the negative experience had on the participants were lifealtering.

None of the participants are members of the church family or denomination that they

grew up in. Paul and Frieden (2008) conducted a study with five white gay men on their

sexual orientation identity. The men in this research study discussed how their religious

beliefs had changed once they accepted their gay identity (Paul & Frieden 2008). The

participants related how this was due to the judgmental messages that were part of their

previous religious denominations (Paul & Frieden, 2008). The participants in my research

study made changes to their religious beliefs after their experiences with religious

homonegativity. Most notably, changing their faith community and in their own words

becoming more spiritual than religious.

In addition to the distinctions made between religion and spirituality, eight themes

were generated from analyzing the participants’ responses. These themes were: change in

faith community, experiencing familial acceptance or discord/rejection due to sexual

orientation, feelings of abandonment by God/religion, negative experience in a religious

setting due to sexual orientation, emotional reactions, maladaptive coping, adaptive

coping, and religious and/or spiritual reconciliation. The theme of faith community

describes how the participants’ faith communities impacted their lives and the reasons

changes were made with their faith communities. The participants’ faith communities had

a strong impact on their lives; it didn’t matter whether it was a faith community that they

grew up in or one that they wanted to become a part of as an adult. The negativity that the

participants experienced was a catalyst for change that pushed them away from church,

sometimes for years. Several of them had a difficult time, initially, coping with this

experience.

The theme of experiencing familial acceptance or discord/rejection due to sexual

orientation describes the participants’ interpretation of how their families reacted and

expressed themselves once the participants’ sexual orientation were revealed. Lease and

Shulman (2003) research study on religion for family members of LGB individuals

indicated that some family members of LGB individuals choose to leave their religious

setting when it did not approve of their relatives sexual orientation, some families

remained in that setting, and some families found a different accepting religious setting.

The participants in this study whose families were members of a church made references

that their family members stayed with their religious setting and continued to hold beliefs

that the participants were sinning by being in a same sex relationship.

The theme of feelings of abandonment by God/religion describes in the

participants’ own words how they felt during and after their negative experience in a

religious setting. Hill and Pargament (2003) related that by attachment theory a strong

connection to God can be made yet if that connection is broken then feelings of

abandonment can be the result.

The theme of negative experience in a religious setting due to sexual orientation

describes in essence what the participant experienced, by whom, and in what setting they

were in. Moore (2008) describes how the Black Church preserves the consensus to

“love” the Black SGL individual yet their lifestyle should not be tolerated. This has led to

the Black SGL individual experiencing negativity within the church.

The theme of emotional reactions describes the emotional aspects of how some of

the participants reacted to the negative experience in a religious setting. Heermann,

Wiggins, and Rutter (2007) related exposure to negativity in religious settings can led to

negative consequences for the LGB individual. Among these negative consequences are

depression, low self-esteem, shame, and self-hatred.

The theme of coping, whether adaptive or maladaptive, describes how each

participant coped with the negativity that they experienced in a religious setting. Each

participant had his or her own method of coping with the negativity and their sexual

orientation. There were some cases where the Black LGBT individual had negative

coping mechanisms when they were not able to reconcile their sexual orientation with

their religious upbringing. Love et al. (2005) related that there are three distinct

categories of reconciliation: undeveloped, unreconciled, and reconciled. The theme of

religious and/or spiritual reconciliation describes in the participants’ own words how they

made the choice to reconcile their religious and/or spiritual identity with their sexual

orientation.

When the coping mechanism is unreconciled it can led to negative behaviors.

Some of the participants in this study initially had unreconciled coping that lead them to

being promiscuous, depressed, or become addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. A few who

had undeveloped coping appeared to have let go of both their religiousness and their

spirituality. As they began to reconcile their sexuality with their spirituality, they all came

back to a church on their own terms, though most of them had a preference of being

identified as more spiritual than religious.

All nine of the participants made a change in their church/faith community due to

their negative experience, yet one chose to keep his/her denomination the same and

another chose only to state that he/she was Christian. Hill and Pargament (2003)

discussed how a person’s physical and mental health could be impacted by his or her

religious and spiritual beliefs. They also stated that there are some social scientists that

have beliefs that there are some health benefits attached to support from members,

leaders and clergy of the church (Hill & Pargament 2003). The participants in this study

were able to find a church where they were welcomed, embraced, and accepted by the

members, leaders, and clergy of the church who were aware of their sexual orientation

and identity.

There are interpretations of the Bible that are an integral part of some Black

churches. Some of these interpretations are ingrained within the church, having been

passed down for generations. When these interpretations are used to negatively impact an

individual because of his or her sexual orientation/identity then the potential for harm is

heightened (Schuck & Liddle, 2001). The participants’ experiences impacted their lives

in a manner that led to unhealthy coping mechanisms, a fracture in their personal

relationships, and a fracture in their relationship with God. That led the participants in

this study to leave their churches of origin and to find a church that was open and

accepting of their sexual orientation/identity; some of them chose a church that was

predominately LGBT and some chose a church where the majority of the congregants

were heterosexual.

Implications for Social Change

Implications for positive social change of this study include a better understanding

of how negativity in a religious setting impacts the mental and spiritual well being of the

Black LGBT individual. It will also provide information for therapists and psychologists

who are seeking data that would be beneficial for their Black LGBT client’s treatment

strategies. Additional potential implications for positive social change include providing

information to the Black religious LGBT individual who may want data on how others

have reconciled their sexual orientation with their religious beliefs. Training for family

members, clergy, therapists, educators, psychologists, and psychiatrists must include

problematic issues that are specific to the Black religious/spiritual LGBT individual. The

results of this research show how the Black

LGBT individual experiences negativity with the very entity that has long been a central

force in the Black community. The research also provides insight into the various ways

that the Black LGBT individual attempts to cope and reconcile their religious beliefs and

upbringing. When the reconciliation does not occur, there are potential negative results,

(i.e. drug addiction, emotional abuse, lost of family cohesiveness, and depression).

Gathering information on this population’s spiritual well-being, or lack of, can assist in

the therapeutic relationship and aid in the healing process of negative religious

experiences (Schuck & Liddle, 2001) for those LGBT individuals who are seeking

healing.

Limitations

As this study was phenomenological in nature, its goal was to describe this group

of Black LGBT individuals. One limitation was the participants having being selected

from only one geographic location; therefore, the findings might not be generalizable to

Black LGBT individuals in other regions of the country or outside of the U.S.

Individuals who responded were primarily Christians, and so, results may be different if

their religious origins were more diverse. Therefore, this research may not be

generalizable to other religious groups. Also there was only one transgender individual

included in this research. A study with only transgender individuals may yield different

results.

Recommendations for Action

Presenting this information in various forums would assist to circulate this

research data. Sharing this information with LGBT groups and religious organizations

can assist in removing the divide that is present in some religious organizations when it

pertains to the well-being of Black LGBT individuals. Black LGBT individuals who are

religious and want to remain connected to their family and their traditional organized

Christian religions need and want to feel safe, loved, and not judged.

Recommendations for the communities, clinicians, and Christian religious

organizations would be to educate themselves on overcoming homonegativity, to assist

the Christian religious Black LGBT individual with finding their Christian religious

identity, and become a welcoming place for all individuals.

Recommendations for Further Study

Through a phenomenological lens, this study sought to answer questions with the

expectation of additional questions being created. These recommendations are relevant

for LGBT individuals who identify as Christian. The following are questions that still

exist:

•How can LGBT organizations be more supportive?

•What resources are available for the LGBT individual who wants to be religious

and/or spiritual?

•Should religious leaders change the culture of religious homonegativity?

•How can clinicians and researchers assist with changing the culture of religious

homonegativity?

•How can biases and religious homonegativity be decreased?

•How can this study be replicated with other religious denominations?

My recommendations would be for more research studies that were inclusive of Black

LGBT individuals and their experience with Christian religion and spirituality. It would

also be important to include both positive and negative experiences that the Black LGBT

individual had in a traditional organized religious setting. The positive experiences would

be beneficial to discern what, why, and how the individual assimilated the experience.

Additionally, when there are affirming religious experiences by religious leaders, other

religious leaders can use those experiences as training aids. Another recommendation

would be for Christian religious organizations to incorporate positive models of

acceptance of the Black LGBT individual as a method of assisting them in maintaining a

strong religious identity.

Researcher’s Experience

I have taken precautions throughout this research process to ensure that my biases

were not incorporated into or affect this process. I was candid with the participants

concerning my sexual orientation as a heterosexual female. I inquired if this was a

concern to the participants and they all stated it was not. My religious beliefs were not

discussed at the beginning of the interviews; however, by the time the interviews were

completed the participants were aware that I am a Christian. I was not raised in a

Christian home in my childhood. My grandmother would take me and my siblings to

church with her on occasions, especially Christian holidays.

I made notes after the interviews on my thoughts and how the interview impacted

on me. My questions during the interview were open-ended in order for the participants

to be able to describe their experience. The participants were allowed to express their

thoughts without any interruption, except for needed clarification. I recorded all the

interviews with the same digital recorder. I listened intently to the participants being

aware of their comfort, safety, and need for tissue and water.

Transcribing the interviews was time consuming and tedious. It took me a lot

longer to transcribe the interviews then I had initially allowed myself. I inadvertently

deleted the first set of several pages of transcribed interviews. After that, I purchased

software to assist me in the process of transcription, which was more efficient. After I

completed all the transcribing, I emailed each participant a copy of his or her transcribed

interview and asked to be informed of any changes that needed to be made. Only one

participant requested a change; however, they did not respond with any changes. At that

point, member checking was finalized.

I have not had the experience of negativity in a religious setting due to my sexual

orientation; however, I have had a negative experience in a religious setting because of

my race. There was a priest at the church that I was attending who would turn away

whenever he saw me approaching. By no means does this equate to the experiences of the

participants in this study; however, it was enough to make me feel unwelcomed in a place

of worship. I had to set aside my bias, keeping it out of the paper. I do have a relative

who had the experience of religious negativity in a church in the Midwest. He relayed

that experience to me which inspired me to do this research. This research has given me

an opportunity to better understand the depths of the experience of the Black LGBT

individual who had experienced homonegativity. I will forever have a place of gratitude,

admiration, and respect in my heart for the participants who extended themselves to me

in order to conduct this research study. The results support the experience of my brother,

without whom I would have never thought to research this phenomena.

Conclusion

This research study contributes to the gap in the literature with respect to Black

LGBT individuals who have experienced negativity in a religious setting. This study

provides valuable information for clergy, clinicians, families, and Black LGBT

individuals to better understand this phenomenon. It documents the study participants’

reports of negative experiences that they attributed to their sexual orientation or gender

identity in a religious setting. They each shared their experiences with the hope that doing

so will benefit other LGBT individuals and prevent others from experiencing similar

negativity. They shared their experiences so that other Black LGBT individuals would

know and understand that it is possible to be LGBT and still have a strong religious belief

that is hopeful, valued, safe, and positive. They all discussed how their experience made

them feel and how they were able to reconcile, cope, and move forward with a strong

sense of self. They shared the devastation that they felt; the hurt, and the anger with God

and others who said they were sinners who were damned to hell. They also shared how

they were able to find hope, courage, and strength to move beyond the negativity in order

to have a healthy religious and spiritual connection. These findings remind us how

important the Black Church has been, and continues to be, as a catalyst for the treatment

of Black LGBT individuals.

Spiritual Well-Being of Black LGBT Individuals When Faced With Religious Homonegativity

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