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financial problems. It was at this moment that the couple watching the screen glanced at each
other and back to the screen, and the man finally spoke and said, “honey, there’s something I’ve
been meaning to tell you… I lost my job. This specific conversation is an explanation of
interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication according to the internet definition is
defined as “... communication that occurs between two or a small number of people”. However,
interpersonal communication is more than just two or more people speaking with one another.
That definition takes so much importance and meaning away from those deep and personal
conversations people have. In the video, Dr. Jess Alberts Interpersonal Communication, Dr.
Alberts defines interpersonal communication as a conversation between two or more people that
is personal and the person is unique and irreplaceable. Dr. Alberts explains that there are different
forms of communication, whether it is a conversation with the barista at a coffee shop or with a
close family member. The close family member is far more irreplaceable than the barista at the
coffee shop. Those conversations with the unique and irreplaceable people are interpersonal.
The video “Dr. Alberts: Interpersonal Communication” describes the deeper and unique
qualities of interpersonal communication. She provides specific examples that allow the audience
to gain a clear understanding of what interpersonal communication means. Dr. Alberts goes on to
discuss how she conducted a study with 10 couples that were taped every day for a week and
were asked questions about their relationship. She was curious about the way the couples
communicated with one another, and what she discovered from observing them. She found that
couples that were happily married had low levels of conflict, which she described as
unsurprising, and that couples that did show levels of conflict were less satisfied with their
marriage. Dr. Alberts found that couples that talked while watching tv began to discuss topics
that were shared on the television with one another. A specific example she provided was that a
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husband was able to share a difficult experience with bullying he had with his wife, after
watching a video on an accident with bullying. The couples were able to discuss embarrassing
and difficult topics much easier when they were shared on television as well. This relates back to
the example at the beginning. Another discovery she had was that there were a lot of one person
conversations the couple had. For example, one would be talking about their day and telling
stories, but the other would be sitting there listening and being supportive and caring. This
allowed one to share their thoughts and feelings, which leads to a better understanding of what is
happening in the partners life. The final discovery was that many people would point out
something that was obvious and everyone could see, and that this would start a conversation. The
example Dr. Alberts provided was that someone would point out that it was raining outside, and
the other would reply “oh yeah it is raining, I didn't think it would until later on”. She referred to
this as a “bid for attention”. This bid for attention was the need to quickly connect with the
significant other.
A key concept from chapter nine of “Human Communication in Society” is the models of
relationship development. Specifically, Knapp's stage model, which is a five step staircase of
development. This model is broken up into five steps that include initiating, experimenting,
intensifying, integrating, and bonding. The goal of the initiating step is to appear pleasant and
likeable which relates to the final disocevry that Dr. Alberts had made. The idea that pointing out
something that is obvious to initiate a conversation. For example, “Hi, I sure like your car”
(Alberts, 2016). The next step is the experimentation step which leads to getting to know one
another. This step allows the conversation and communication to go further. The integrating and
bonding steps of Knapp's Stages of Romantic Relationship relates to the core ideas of what
interpersonal communication is. These steps occur with people that are unique and irreplaceable.
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The second concept that relates to the ideas that Dr. Alberts had discovered is the
avoidance behavior in Couples Relationship Maintenance Behaviors. The avoidance behavior is
described as refusing to discuss particular issues. This concept can be related back to how
couples were able to discuss difficult and embarrassing topics while watching television. The
avoidance behavior could addressed while watching tv. Having the couples view someone on
screen that is going through something similar would allow them to feel more comfortable with
sharing.
The final key concept that is related to interpersonal communication would be Authentic
communication. After all, interpersonal communication is defined as communication between
two or a small number of people that are unique and irreplaceable. Authentic communication is
the expectation that close friends and family will be authentic and connected to intimacy. This
definition along with Dr. Alberts definition of interpersonal communication is quite similar. They
both relate to one another and both require unique and personal relationships with friends and
family. These are relationships that are built on intimacy and authenticity.
In conclusion, interpersonal communication is a part of our everyday lives. It is important
to remember that these are not just conversation you have with a barista at a coffee shop, but that
interpersonal communication is deeper and allows for a more personal and unique experience.
These types of communications allow for deeper relationships to build between family and
friends. The relationships provide support and help us get through our daily lives, and it is
important to have a deep understanding of what interpersonal communication is.
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References:
Alberts, J. K., Nakayama, T. K., & Martin, J. N. (2019). Human communication in
society. Hoboken, NJ: Pearsonon.
Alberts, J. 2019. Interpersonal Communication [Video File]. Retrieved from
https://canvas.asu.edu/courses/29193/pages/module-6-learning-materials-ppts-dr-alberts-and-dr-
cheong-faculty-lectures?module_item_id=1725813
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