Revamp outline and write a draft

1

Zhao 1

Xinrong Zhao

Michael Ng

ENGL 099 BV

20 May 2020

The Butler Rough Draft

There are many ways through which the upper class can be defined, not only as wealth but also excellent manners. George Cleaver after making his first million moves with his wife from their small villa to an elegant house. They hire a chef and a butler, Estragon, and Tibbs, both of whom are expensive. Mr. Cleaver goes ahead to progress on the social ladder with the help of his two staff and even starts hosting dinner parties at his house. However, he is concerned that the dinner parties do not turn out a success as he would have expected them to, ‘what the heck’s wrong with our parties?’ (Dahl) He asks for advice from Tibbs who tells him that the problem is with the wine that he serves the guests. According to Tibbs, the great food that the chef serves should be accompanied by great wine, not the cheap Spanish red that the master serves the guests. Tibbs suggests to the master different types of wines that should be served to the guests; all of which are expensive. These include Lafite, Latour, among other lavish wines, and these from the vintage years between 1895 and 1945. (Dahl) The master orders Tibbs to buy those lavish wines and does not care that they cost a fortune. When asked a second time why the guests do not enjoy the wine, he claims that the master serves the guests large quantities of vinegar in the salad. Vinegar, he claims, is an enemy of wine and for this reason; the guests cannot taste the wine. However, the master does not take this kindly and tells Tibbs that he speaks 'hogwash'. He tries to embarrass Tibbs in front of the guests by bragging about his expertise in matters of wine. At dinner, he claims to taste Lafite'45 although what he is actually drinking is the usual cheap Spanish red wine. He refuses to be convinced by Tibbs that that wine is Spanish red and not Lafite'45. (Dahl) He wants to prove Tibbs' theory that vinegar denies one an opportunity to taste wine wrong. Tibbs provides empty bottles of Lafite'45 that he and Monsieur Estragon have been enjoying in the kitchen. (Dahl) If people try to climb the social ladder, they have to spend a lot of time and learn how to blend into their class and habits and also try to buffer conflicts that are brought about by this difference instead of a ring for society. Comment by Michael Ng: Too much summary. I don’t need this much. Please shorten to maximum two sentences. Comment by Michael Ng: Not needed Comment by Michael Ng: period Comment by Michael Ng: period after citation. Comment by Michael Ng: Is this the thesis? Where are the three body paragraphs? Comment by Michael Ng: Please rewrite this in parallel form so it is clear Comment by Michael Ng: What do you mean by this?

The story describes two different classes at the beginning. The Cleavers have made a lot of money and are trying to climb the social ladder. They move out of their small suburban villa into a large London house. They acquire a chef and a butler who are both very expensive. He even starts to invite friends to parties at his house. (Dahl) Tibbs, on the other hand, is of the upper class. He knows that good food has to be accompanied by expensive wine if the guests are to enjoy it. He is able to notice that the guests do not enjoy the parties because of the cheap Spanish red wine they are served. He knows many brands of expensive wines and even suggests them to his master. Tibbs knows that vinegar does not go well with wine and that it should not be served to guests in the high social class. He knows the taste of Lafite'45 even teaches his master how to taste wine: ‘First, sir, you sniff it long and deep, with your nose right inside the top of the glass, like this. Then you take a mouthful and you open your lips a tiny bit and suck in air, letting the air bubble through the wine. Watch me do it. Then you roll it vigorously around your mouth. And finally you swallow it.’ (Dahl) This difference in class brings out conflict in that Mr. Cleaver and Tibbs are unable to agree concerning the wine and the vinegar. It becomes difficult for Tibbs and his colleague to stay with this family and they decide to leave. Comment by Michael Ng: This paragraph has too many story details. I need just the main points. Comment by Michael Ng: Period should come after the citation. EX) …at his house (Dahl). Comment by Michael Ng: In this paragraph you describe the character of Tibbs and Cleaver. You express the idea at the end that, due to their differences, they will conflict. How do these points connect with your thesis? I don’t understand your logic here.

There are many ways to distinguish between different classes. The author uses Vinegar and makes the readers know that Mr. Cleaver is ignorant of the wine culture. Mr. Cleaver invites guests to his house, serves them good food and wine but his guests do not show signs of having enjoyed the party. This makes him concerned and thus he consults his butler, Tibbs who tells him that the guests do not enjoy because he has been serving them cheap Spanish red wine. (Dahl) The master instructs Tibbs to stock all the good wine he can find. Even after buying the expensive wine, the guests still do not enjoy and Mr. Cleaver begins to wonder what is wrong with them. Once again he asks advice from Tibbs who tells him that the guests do not enjoy the wine because they cannot taste it. The reason for this, Tibbs says, is because the guests are served vinegar which prevents them from having a taste of the wine. ‘Vinegar…is an enemy of wine.’ (Dahl) Mr. Cleaver instructs the chef to serve the guests quantities of vinegar in the salad-dressing which is a habit of the middle-class people. According to Tibbs, this salad-dressing should be made of pure olive oil and a little lemon juice. (Dahl) Pure olive oil is expensive and this shows a salad dressing of this kind is for people in the high social class. The difference in the dietary habits of these two people shows the difference in their lifestyles. The author brings out this difference in taste to show the difference in social classes between the two people. Their different habits that depict different lifestyles bring about a conflict. Mr. Cleaver and Tibbs disagree in front of the guests concerning the taste of the wine and the issue of serving high quantities of vinegar in the salad dressing. These conflicting lifestyles lead Tibbs and Monsieur Estragon to leave. Comment by Michael Ng: Please shorten this section. There are too many unnecessary details. Comment by Michael Ng: Comma after Tibbs Comment by Michael Ng: I can see some connections to the thesis, but I am unclear on the exact message. Perhaps you need to rewrite the thesis itself to create a better connection to your body paragraphs.

Due to Mr. Cleaver's misunderstanding of the wine, there was an intense conflict between them at the end. Mr. Cleaver asks for advice on matters of how to make his guests enjoy his parties. Tibbs advises him to replace the vinegar in the salad-dressing with pure olive oil and a little lemon juice. According to him, vinegar is an enemy of wine, and the fact that the master serves his guests vinegar denies them an opportunity to taste the wine. (Dahl) This time, Mr. Cleaver does not agree with Tibbs, and tells him that he talks 'hogwash'. That night at dinner time, Mr. Cleaver tries to embarrass Tibbs in front of the guests, ‘Tibbs has been trying to tell me that I can’t taste my wine if I put vinegar in my salad dressing…I told him hogwash.’ (Dahl) Mr. Cleaver tries to brag about his expertise in matters of wine by telling his guests that the wine he is taking tastes like Lafite'45 because it is Lafite'45. He wants to prove to Tibbs that even after taking vinegar he can still taste the wine and therefore prove his theory wrong. However, Tibbs knows that this wine is not Lafite'45 but the cheap Spanish red wine. His efforts to convince the master that what he is taking is cheap Spanish red wine and not Lafite'45 fell on deaf years. It is not until he shows him the empty bottles of Lafite'45 that he and Monsieur Estragon had been enjoying in the kitchen all this while. (Dahl) The argument about wine causes a conflict between them and Tibbs, after speaking his mind to the master, leaves with Monsieur Estragon. Comment by Michael Ng: This is all summary that isn’t needed. I am looking for analysis. Comment by Michael Ng: ears

The author, through tastes and habits, shows the difference between classes and the conflicts that these differences cause. Mr. Cleaver and his staff are evidently from two different classes. Their habits are as different as their tastes are. Mr. Cleaver has just made his first million and is trying to climb the social ladder so he hires high profile staff that is not only expensive but more experienced than he is. Although he already feels like he has made it and even starts holding a party for his guests at his house, the things he does show that he is still in the middle class. At first, he serves his guests cheap Spanish red wine and expects them to enjoy the party. He instructs the chef to serve the guests large quantities of vinegar in the salad dressing; a habit that is associated with the middle class. (Dahl) Tibbs is from high class. Apart from his enviable knowledge in different kinds of wine, he knows what kind of salad-dressing needs to be prepared for the high-class people. Mr. Cleaver views wine as a symbol of prestige and status, which is why he brags in front of his guests about his expertise in matters of wine which is actually wrong. Tibbs, on the other hand, views wine as a source of enjoyment, something that is supposed to make people feel good. Mr. Cleaver is so ignorant in matters of wine that he cannot tell the difference between cheap Spanish red and Lafite'45 although he has been taking Spanish red for a long time. (Dahl) The difference in the habits of these two people brings about a conflict that cannot be solved. If people try to climb the social ladder, they have to spend a lot of time and learn how to blend into their class and habits and also try to buffer conflicts that are brought about by this difference instead of a ring for society. Comment by Michael Ng: Are you trying to show both these things? Perhaps this is why there is confusion. You should be focused on a singular topic. Having two different ideas in one paper will often lead to confusion. Comment by Michael Ng: More unnecessary summary. Comment by Michael Ng: Rosina, I think you have spent a lot of time on this draft but there are some issues that need to be addressed for the final copy. Too much story summary remember only to refer to the parts of the story that prove your point. You do not need to give so many details. Clear thesis statement. I wasn’t quite sure what you trying to say in this paper. You need to focus on a single theme and spend the paragraphs telling the reader how the author shows this theme.

Works Cited

Dahl, Roald. “The Butler.” More Tales of the Unexpected, N/A, Penguin, 1980, pp.[ 1-127 (not given)]. Comment by Michael Ng: Hanging indent missing, also you do not need [ ]