date reflection

ZERO DATE ASSIGNMENT S19

In this class, you have been asked to find someone to ask out on a Zero Date. Rewatch the Christina Wallace Ted Talk video: “How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps” for inspiration and an understanding of what to expect from this experience. Christina used this method to funnel “qualified” people from online dating apps and to save time on dates with people with whom there is no chemistry. This assignment will challenge you to be self-reflective and identify what you want out of a potential date partner.

The “Zero Date” for our purposes is a 30-minute intentional encounter with one other person. The goal is for this to be a low-stakes opportunity to be attentive to the other person, learn about them and yourself, and decide if you would want to go on a “full first date” with this person if given the opportunity.

The date and reflection must take place between Monday, January 14 and Saturday, February 23, 2019.

The Assignment:

· Identify a pool of potential Zero Date candidates.

· You may source candidates from dating apps/ social media and/ or your existing friends or friends of friends but candidates should not be someone you know well.

· You do NOT have to have any romantic interest in this person. This is a Zero Date, so even those in exclusive partnerships may experience this Zero Date with another person.

· Compile your 3 criteria for this Zero Date.

· Christina’s criteria were:

· They responded to her message in complete sentences with good grammar.

· They referenced something from her profile.

· They avoid all sexual content

· You may use Christina’s, but at least two criteria must be original.

· Ask someone(s) on a Zero Date.

· You do NOT have to ask the person face to face but it might be good practice.

· Spend 30 minutes face-to-face intentionally getting to know the person.

· You must plan the Zero Date and pay for any costs. However, the date does not have to cost anything.

· The Zero Date must take place in public and you can meet at the location of the Zero Date.

· There should be no sexual contact of any kind.

· Keep your phone turned off for that time!

· While Christina’s model is one drink and one hour, we encourage you to make this a sober event. Coffee, tea, milkshake-- the non-alcoholic possibilities are endless!

· Complete a written reflection as outlined below.

The Written Reflection:

· The reflection is due electronically by Sunday, February 24 at 10:00 pm via Isidore.

· Name your file like this: Last name, first name S19 Zero Date

· The reflection must be a minimum of 400 words and reflect on the following prompts:

· What were your 3 criteria to select the candidate(s)?

· Briefly share your story of the Zero Date.

· What went well? What would you have liked to change?

· Would you repeat this date experience with these parameters or would you change the parameters?

· Be very intentional about being self-reflective during the entire process beginning with thinking about the date all the way through the time after the date.

Suggestions:

· Do NOT tell your partner that the Zero Date is for an assignment. (You will get more out of it if you and they don’t treat it like an assignment.) You can tell them after the Zero Date that it was for a class - but that did not take away from the fact that you wanted to ask them on a Zero Date. You do not need to use the term “Zero Date”.

· Think about how you enage them in conversation and what you would like to learn about them before you get there! Remember; you are seeking to identify if you’d like to get to know this person further.

· Review the “Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation” video

· Ask lots of open-ended questions. Options include:

· Where are you from? What do you like about your hometown? What don’t you like about your hometown?

· What do you like to do in your spare time? What did you like to do in your spare time when you were in high school? in grade school?

· What does it mean for you to be an adult?

· What is something profound that you have learned recently?

· What’s the most money of your own that you have given away? To whom?

· What is a lie that you regret telling?

· Ask them about themselves. People find it easier to talk about things they know:

· Tell me about your family? Do you have any siblings? What do your parents do for a living? Where do they live? Are they married?

· What sports do you like to do? What sports do you like to watch?

· Where did you go on your last vacation? Where would you like to go on vacation? Who would you with? Why?

· What is a favorite memory from childhood?

· What is the best/ worst gift you've ever given/ received?

· What is a happy childhood memory? What makes it so happy?

· What do you miss most about childhood?

· What story does your family always tell about you?

· Don’t shy away from deeper topics. Some examples of questions include:

· What do you think about traditional dates?

· Name some challenges you have faced in the last year and what have you learned from them?

· What does real love look like to you?

· What does it take for you to trust?

· What do you feel most grateful for?

· What was something recently that made you stronger?

· Do you believe in love at first sight?

· Hypotheticals and future-focused questions can be a fun ice-breaker and conversation starter. Such as:

· If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

· If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

· If you could change one thing in our world what would it be?

· Where do you want to be in five years? in ten years?

· What are five things you want to do before you graduate? Before you die?

· Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right things?

· What would you like to do if you had two extra hours today?

· What would you do if you won the lottery?

· Would you rather have a high paying job the rest of your life that you hate or one that you love that you hardly get paid?

· If you had an illness and there was a very risky treatment that was 50% effective, would you take it?

· If you were unsure if you could pay back a debt, would you still borrow the money?

· Ask about what is important to you! Some questions about Faith could include:

· For what are you grateful?

· Can you share a time when something was so beautiful that it took your breath away? Did you recognize God in that experience?

· Where do you see God in your life?

· When have you felt a part of a faith or spiritual community?

· How and when did you first recognize God in your life?

· Describe a time when you felt very close to God.

· If you could ask God any question, what would you ask?

· Has your faith ever been challenged or fallen apart? When? Why?

· Do you have a sense of meaning in your life?

· What kind of spiritual practices do you find meaningful?

· Do you identify with a faith tradition?

· Were you raised in a faith tradition?

· What was a gift you gained by volunteering or doing service?

· Do you think morals are universal or relative to individuals or groups?

“Does Anyone Date Anymore?” 19_SP_UDI_136_M1