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yy2528:Yang_Midterm_Global_E thics.docx by Yuechun Yang

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TIME SUBMITTED 22-MAR-2020 06:02PM (UTC-0400)

SUBMISSION ID 1279861718

WORD COUNT 1761

CHARACTER COUNT 8862

9340-E8CD-4B7F-AC1C- 50115BB6DFDA_YANG_MIDTERM_GLOBAL_ETHICS.DOCX (20.33K)

FINAL GRADE

85/0 yy2528:Yang_Midterm_Global_Ethics.docx GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi Yeuchun,

You make some interesting points in the essay. The essay could have been improved by engaging with the course texts more. It was also unclear at times what your main point was– do you ultimately endorse a private citizen's response. Your writing could also use improvement– some sentences were hard to understand and there were several gramatical errors throughout.

– Intro was a bit clunky. Would be nice to know what your main argument is.

– In your discussion of liberalism, it would have been nice for you to engage with the texts assigned in the course (like the Mill reading).

– I am not sure what you mean when you say that "liberalism is likely to step in and intervene." Do you mean people who support liberalism, as opposed to liberalism itself.

– Good work on the arguments on pages 3-4. I like that you talk about equality of opportunity here.

– So, I thought you were focusing on how private citizens ought to respond, but you move to discussing governmental policies beginning on page 4.

– Your discussion of Confucianism at the end of the essay feels rushed, and again, it would be nice for you to engage with some of the assigned course materials here.

– A concluding paragraph would have been helpful.

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STRUCTURE

Your essay followed the assigned structure, and all necessary components were included (i.e. substantively engaging with at least two of the traditions we discussed in class). It was easy to see where your essay was going, and there were clear transitions between sections.

ARGUMENTATION

GRADING FORM: ESSAY 1 GRADING FORM

YUECHUN YANG

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Your arguments were clear, valid, and when necessary, backed by evidence. They convincingly supported the main claims you sought out to defend. (Bonus: you considered objections to your arguments and responded to them effectively).

WRITING AND CLARITY

Your essay was clearly written. You identified key terms, and it was easy for your reader to follow where your essay was going. You avoided colloquialisms and did not assume too much of your reader.

CREATIVITY

Your arguments and insights were interesting and creative. You engaged with the complexities of the issues at hand, and your essay demonstrates that you really thought about the topic

PROOFREADING AND FORMATTING

Your paper was carefully proofread and properly formatted, free of typos and grammatical errors.

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